He reached for me, but I was already halfway to him when our mouths met, and our bodies began to move in sync. And then it was nothing but pure bliss as we ground into each other, watching one another until it was too much to resist. Foreheads touching, we watched ourselves connect. I was stretched tight by his thickness, and that sight alone did us both in. We licked and sucked until we were both frantically climbing.
“Oh, fuck, baby. Give it to me.”
“Ren!” I screamed while I clenched around him and heard his breath hitch before he let out a growl.
He gripped my lower half, spreading me wide, and went deeper with total abandon as I exploded around him. My heart hammered as I gasped and scratched at his shoulders.
“Jesus Christ, you’re drenched,” he ground out as his hips picked up pace and he rocked into me so possessively that another orgasm followed.
I was consumed and spent as I watched him throw his head back and his body tense.
“Fuck, oh fuck,” he grunted as he filled me full, pushing in deep and holding himself there as his eyes met mine before they fluttered closed. “I’m still an idiot.”
I kissed his jaw as we clung to each other like there wasn’t any amount of space or time between us. Ren cradled me with one hand and traced his thumb along my cheek before he leaned in and kissed me like I was his entire world.
I felt relieved and tried to stifle the hope of what that could mean. Because that kiss was different, and we both knew it.
When he pulled away, he set me on my feet and walked to the passenger side of his car. He unwrapped a fresh dash towel, and I tried my best to clean myself up while he walked Davis. Once inside the car, he looked over at me, and I could see so much confusion in his eyes, but I was thankful I didn’t see regret.
“I don’t want to pretend that didn’t happen, Ren. I don’t want to make more out of it than what it is, either. But please, please, let’s leave it for the moment. I think you’re right. I want to be here for you this season. I want to keep my word to you. I’m who you need to turn this around, and I’ve been letting my feelings get in the way. So, before we start analyzing this, let’s just get you through the next couple of weeks. Okay?”
Ren nodded before he ripped his gaze away and started the car. Halfway to the camp, he gripped the inside of my knee and left his hand there. And I let him.
Camp was a zoo. It took the better part of an hour to get the older kids to let Ren start to give out pointers instead of autographs.
As I watched on, I felt myself heat as I remembered the way he dominated me on that hood. And every time his beautiful blues drifted over to me, and he bit his lower lip, I knew I wasn’t the only one reminiscing. We’d always been good at sex. Ren hadn’t been the only man, but he’d been the only that had ever mattered.
The need to go to him and quickly bandage everything that kept us apart was overwhelming. But I wanted to do this for him. I wanted to prove to him that I could keep my word. Suddenly, it was the only thing that mattered. And if I could come through for him, maybe I could forgive myself a little for being so selfish.
My smile turned sour in an instant when a mother approached him, her body language far too friendly to be innocent.
I closed my eyes. We didn’t use a condom.
Ren’s eyes shot to mine. He read my expression and then my thoughts. I moved to walk away, to swallow the panic and the burn that threatened, but Ren beat me to my retreat, breaking through the crowd around him and getting to me in seconds.
“I’m okay. I swear to Christ I’m safe,” he said, gripping my arm. “I’ll prove it.”
“You were always careful with me,” I said honestly. The first month we had sex, Ren used a condom every single time, even though I’d been on the pill for years.
“Are you . . . still protected?” he asked gently.
“If I wasn’t?”
“Erica,” he warned.
“Of course I am,” I said, looking around to make sure no one was listening. We’d been way too stunned in the car to have the conversation, but a busy baseball camp for kids wasn’t the place or the time, either.
“Good, then we should probably do that again tonight.”
“Ren,” I said with the slow shake of my head.
“Don’t worry, we don’t have to discuss it after.” He winked. “Not even when I eat that beautiful ass of yours again. In fact, it would be my pleasure to make sure the only words you say are my favorite.”
“Strike?” I asked playfully.
“Erica,” he whispered, his voice hoarse as a ball landed at our feet. I reached for it and looked to see whose it was. A kid was waving frantically, and I moved to throw it.
“NO! NOT YOU!” the kid said as his mother scolded him to play nice.
I handed the ball to Ren, and he took it, his focus still on me. “I’m surrounded by kids, and all I can think about is touching you again.”
“I won’t let you reduce me to being a booty call. Not after . . .”
His thick, dark brows drew together. “Is that what you think?”
I sighed.
“We’re discussing it, and we just agreed we wouldn’t. The focus needs to be on you and the season. Go teach.”
“This conversation isn’t over,” he warned. “Not by a long shot. I don’t regret it, and I won’t let you, either.” He reached out and brushed the hair away from my shoulder.
“I don’t regret it,” I whispered hoarsely as my cheek heated at thoughts of watching us connect on that hood.
His mouth lifted at the corners. “Still a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets, huh?”
“Guess so,” I shrugged.
“Dinner?” he asked, walking toward a line of little men dressed in his number.
“Maybe,” I said thoughtfully. “We’ll talk about strategy. But no card tricks, okay?”
“I haven’t played with a full deck since the day I met you,” he said with so much sincerity that my throat knotted before he turned to the eager faces clamoring for his attention.
Ren took charge of the group with military precision, and he was a natural. Within minutes he had their adoration and they were eating out of the palm of his hand.
My heart galloped as I watched him crouch down with a tiny catcher who couldn’t be more than six years old. His gear was heavier than he was, and he kept falling over as he tried to imitate Ren’s movements.
Malcolm showed up a few minutes later, and Ren made it a point to highlight his new Little Brother’s strong points to the rest of his troop. I saw Malcom’s reserved pride surface as Ren playfully took off his cap and knuckle-rubbed his hair.
It was refreshing to see Ren so immersed in something useful to his image but at the same time effortless for him. Ren loved kids, and I knew he had a special place in his heart for little princesses due to his affection for my niece. After they met, he’d been smitten, and I knew he wanted a daughter of his own someday. He always said little girls were the most honest humans and had the sweetest laughs.
“You’re staring awful hard at your client,” Andy said, standing next to me. I was still in a daze.
“I love him.”
“You don’t say,” Andy mused as I realized what I’d just said.
“I mean I love the way . . .” I shook my head. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I would say your secret is safe, but I’m pretty sure everyone who’s looking at you right now can see it. And he hasn’t gone thirty seconds since you got here without looking your way.”
I palmed my forehead. “Have you ever done something so incredibly life-changing that you can’t make it right?”
“Kind of. I fell in love with a woman who was in love with my best friend and almost lost my wife because I was too much of a bitter ass to handle it.”
“You were with April and in love with this woman?” I felt defensive for my new friend as Andy glanced over at me.
“Hell no,” April piped up behind me. “I wasn’t tha
t desperate.”
I paused. “Wait, she was in love with Rafe?”
Alice and Rafe walked up to us. “Who was in love with me?”
“Kristina,” April said as Rafe looked at Alice. “Yeah, that was a fucking mess.”
Andy turned to me. “See, it’s not as hopeless as you think.” All eyes were on me. My face was flaming, and to make matters worse, Rafe caught Ren looking at me.
“You two totally just had sex.”
“Rafe!” Alice scorned.
“What?” He shrugged. “It needed to happen. Had to happen, and that new grimace on Ren’s resting bitch face could actually pass for a smile.”
There wasn’t a hole big enough for me to climb in.
April chuckled at my discomfort. “Welcome to the family, love, and if it’s any comfort we’re all behind you.”
While I stayed mute so as not to confirm or deny what had happened between Ren and me, a dull throb began to beat behind my eye. I hadn’t had a chance to hydrate properly after our night out, and with all my frustration and stress, I knew it was just a matter of time before it caught up with me.
I willed the migraine away as they spoke around me. I had no idea how much time passed as I stood there praying it would stop, but the pain continued to set in. My vision began to blur as I looked over at Ren.
Surrounded by kids, his blinding smile vanished as he glanced over to me. In a heartbeat, he was at my side talking to Andy and Rafe while Alice and April whispered words of concern. I barely heard them as I was whisked away.
“Hold on, baby, I’ve got you,” Ren whispered as he cradled me to his hip. “Just hang on.”
“Ren,” I said helplessly as he closed his passenger door and sped out of the parking lot.
“Hold my hand,” he said, and I placed my palm in his. I was already sweating.
“How bad?”
I flipped down the visor to try and shield myself from the sun. “It’s bad,” I croaked, closing my eyes.
Within minutes, we were in the hotel garage, and I realized we were a dog short.
“Where’s Davis?” I asked as Ren opened my door and leaned down to help me.
“Alice took him. Can you walk?”
“Yeah, it’s not that bad yet.”
“Come on. Hold onto me.” My heart melted at the sight of his concerned eyes.
The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of my room in my panties and he was setting the pillows up on the bed, just the way I had to have them. We were right back where we were two years ago.
“Ren, you don’t have to do this.”
“In here?” he asked, ignoring me and lifting my purse.
I nodded. He pulled out the prescription bottle, handed me a pill, and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.
“Thank you.”
I took the pill, praying for quick relief.
“Come on,” he said as he reached for my hand and laid me down gently before he darkened out the sun by closing the shades. A second later, the bed dipped behind me, and I felt the warmth of his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. Just like he used to do.
My heart in my throat, I felt a tear escape as he leaned down and softly kissed my neck. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Stop being so formal with me, Erica.”
“I’m sorry. Ren, it hurts so bad.”
“Hang on, baby. Forty-five minutes until the pill kicks in, okay? Just breathe. Follow my breathing.”
And I did, just like I had done a dozen times before with him. When he took a breath, I took one. We were silent, with me in his hold, warm in his arms until I finally drifted to sleep.
Ren
I woke up a few hours later and reluctantly let go of the beautiful woman in my arms. My heart ached with the need to know exactly what we were. Or what I could expect. A part of me didn’t want to have the conversation, because if it led to another dead end, I didn’t think I could handle it a second time.
I fumbled around in the dark and opened my phone to check my schedule. I was free and clear for the night. I was starving and knew sooner or later when she opened her eyes she would be, too.
I made quick work of getting dressed and grabbed her cell from her purse. I set it down next to her and sent her a quick text. A few seconds later, I heard music and raced back over to the bed.
The phone was lit up with my text, and she’d put my handle as Tin Man. Erica stirred as I picked up the phone to silence it and heard the first few lyrics of the song.
I crept into the bathroom and grabbed her ear buds off the counter. I typed in the lyrics in Google search to bring up the song. Ironically it was called “Tin Man.”
I sat on the edge of the tub and listened to it a few times, my heart cracking under the weight of the words. Spent inside, I unplugged my phone and crept back into bed, pressing my lips to her hair and neck as she sighed contently.
When we were together, Erica’s migraines could last for a day or two. I knew she needed sleep, but she’d been on her game and doing her best to tolerate me and keep up with my hectic schedule.
All I wanted to do was wake her up and see her smile, talk to her like we used to, bury myself inside her so she could heal me, and maybe I could do the same for her.
It was all there, all of the love I thought we had lost. We were made for each other, and there was no denying it. I would try my best to make her believe it again.
I knew I had missed an important detail along the way, something that I couldn’t wrap my head around. Something that she’d been pleading with me to see.
I’d been so damn stubborn and avoided her explanation for leaving me, but now it was time to listen. I didn’t want any more secrets between us, and if hearing her out was how I got her back, it was time.
Erica
In a daze, I woke up to a knock on my door. I quickly looked at my phone to see five missed texts from Ren that had started a few hours after he’d brought me back from camp with a migraine. I glanced at the clock. I’d slept through the night.
Ren: I went out to get some food. I’ll be back.
Ren: Something came up. I’ll explain later.
Ren: We need to talk. It’s important.
Ren: Call me back, I need to talk to you.
Ren: Damn it, Erica, I’m about to take the field. Call me.
I opened the door to my room, expecting to see Ren, but saw Alice instead.
“Surprise!”
I smiled because, with Alice, I had no choice. Thankful the worst of my headache was gone, I opened the door to let her in.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I braved a look at my laptop. I had a day’s worth of work to catch up on.
“I’m here to take you to the spa. No objections. You’ve been working your ass off and I need a girlfriend to go with, so get your shoes on.”
I could have cried at the sincerity in her eyes, and I damn near hugged her. A day of pampering was just what I needed to hit the refresh button. I had let myself go while living on Ren’s tight schedule. I needed to decompress and take a little time for myself.
“I could hug you right now,” I said as I moved toward the bathroom. “Just let me freshen up.”
An hour and a half later I’d had a facial and a bikini wax, and now was in the midst of a massage beside Alice.
“I can’t thank you enough for this, woman. I owe you big.”
“Well, I figured while I was here I could get in a little time with you. How are things going?”
“Good, so good.” I moaned into the feeling of hands working lavender oil into my back. “We’re getting along. No expectations. We haven’t talked about much in the way of us.”
Alice turned to me with warm brown eyes. “But?”
I smiled in return. “But I feel good about us for the first time in a long time. I feel like we might have a chance. Like maybe he can forgive me for leaving. And maybe I can be there for him, with him despite everything. Which reminds me
, with our rush to get here I forgot to text him back. He’s playing this morning, and he has an interview with a local news station after.”
“I’ll get you there in time. No work now,” she ordered firmly.
I sighed. “Right.”
Walking out of that spa, I felt like a million dollars. I was eager to get back to Ren, fully relaxed and rested. I was hellbent on making whatever relationship I had with Ren work.
I felt the weight of the world had left my shoulders as I climbed into Alice’s Jeep, ready to embrace the idea of a new us.
I looked over to Alice, who was glowing in her own right, freshly pampered and just as anxious to get to her husband.
“I think I’ll try to start that talk today, after his interview. I love him, Alice.”
She beamed at me. “I know. I’m excited for you.”
I smiled down at my phone as I shot off a text to Ren.
Me: I want to talk to you too. I’m sorry I missed the game. I’m on my way.
Breaking the no work rule, I decided to check my emails and scrolled through my phone. Rowe had sent one this morning and marked it urgent. Plus, I had missed two texts from her.
Rowe: Are you okay?
Rowe: Please call me.
“Something’s wrong,” I voiced to Alice as the engine roared between us in the open cabin of her Jeep.
Alice pulled over as I opened the email. My heart plummeted as I studied the picture and my phone fell from my hands into my lap.
Alice picked it up and studied the picture. “He wouldn’t.”
“He did.”
Chapter 13
REN
Fresh out of the shower and into jeans and a T-shirt, I couldn’t hide my smile when Erica charged into the locker room with Alice hot on her heels. It was only when Erica’s blazing eyes met mine that my smile faded.
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