by K. Ryan
"Iz, I don't think you have any idea what this means to me. And I know it won't make up for everything I lost last night, probably not even close, but this, from you...Iz, I can't even begin to tell you, but is this really okay? I mean, are you gonna be okay money-wise if you just give this to me right now?"
"I wouldn't have offered it if I couldn't afford it. And think of it this way, whenever I have to sell the house," my throat tightened a little at the thought, "and when you sign your part of the house over to me, you can just think of it as paying me back."
He draped an arm around my shoulders to tuck me into his side and huffed out a laugh. "I guess I should've known you'd figure out how to pay me back for the house somehow."
"It's not about that. I wanted to help you and I guess the house is just an added bonus," I smiled up at him and lifted a shoulder. "I got you."
His lips twisted into that grin that made me forget my own name. "I really love you, you know that?"
The way he was looking at me, the feel of his fingertips curling around my shoulder, the way his body seemed to fit perfectly with mine...I almost gave in. I almost let those words slip right from my lips.
Instead, my eyes dropped to our feet and I shifted uncomfortably on the desk. It was hard to reconcile that we were here right now, just like this, with those words hanging in the air like they were the most natural things for him to say. Maybe they were, in a different time, in a different life, but now, I didn't know what to do with them.
"So, uh," Caleb coughed lightly into his fist to clear his throat. "How 'bout I sign those papers, huh?"
The second I nodded, Caleb didn't hesitate. As soon as those papers were back in his hand, he scribbled his name on the dotted line in those familiar chicken scratches before grinning down at me and pressing a quick kiss into my lips. It all happened so fast and once it was done, my head was still spinning.
When the pen was safely resting on top of the desk, Caleb thrust his hand out for me to shake.
"Hello, partner," he nodded to me, that grin still beaming back at me.
I just laughed and shook his hand. "Hi."
Caleb pushed off the desk and pulled me up with him. "C'mon, Iz. Let me take you back to your dad's, okay?"
Wait. That wasn't what I wanted. At least not yet. And I had a feeling he didn't exactly plan on staying there with me either. Tonight, I just didn't want to be anywhere he wasn't. Whatever that meant, I could sort it out later. I just needed to be with him.
"Where will you stay?"
He just lifted a shoulder. "I'll probably just crash at Saul's again. Trent said he's good staying at your dad's tonight to keep an eye on things."
"But—"
"Iz, we're not going there again. Maybe Wallace won't come after me again tonight, but I'm not going to put it past him and I'm not going to take the risk."
I stood up so we were standing toe to toe and rested both palms on his chest. "I'm pretty sure the only person I feel safest with is you. Nothing is going to happen to me as long as I'm with you, Caleb. And let's face it, if Wallace really wants to come after me, he will. Wouldn't you rather be close if that ever happens?"
His lips parted to respond and then immediately snapped shut just as quickly. He knew I was right; he just wasn't ready to admit it yet.
I was so tired of fighting it, so tired of denying what I knew was true. Maybe it was time to finally acknowledge that white flag and surrender. It's not like I ever really stood much of a chance anyway.
"Wherever you're staying tonight, Caleb, that's where I want to be, too. We could stay at Saul's, my dad's, or a freaking hotel for all I care. I just want to be with you."
The true implication of my words hit us both at the same time and the myriad of reactions that flickered across his face almost made me laugh out loud. First came the genuine confusion and then disbelief mixed with shock. Now a sly, wolfish grin curved his lips and it was clear any confusion between us was long gone.
"Let's get the hell outta here then," he murmured in my ear.
Suddenly, his hands were on my waist, playfully pushing me toward the door.
"Where are we going?" I laughed, letting myself get swept away by the butterflies floating down my body at his featherlight touch.
"I don't know," he leaned his forehead into my shoulder. "We can't stay here, Iz. I'd feel kinda weird about taking you to Saul's and I don't want to make your dad uncomfortable either."
Right, because if he was coming to my dad's with me, he was sleeping in my room. We both knew that was exactly how it would be. That really only left us with one option.
"Hotel?" I lifted a shoulder.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek, contemplating the pros and cons of actually doing something like that and at this point, I was too far gone to over-analyze.
"That's the only place we'll really be alone if we don't stay here," I reminded him.
That, apparently, was all the convincing he needed.
. . .
He really didn't waste any time.
We stood in front of a hotel room door after Caleb hustled us through the length of the hallway and he reached around my waist, fumbling with the keycard because he was moving too quickly and muffled his frustrated laughter in my shoulder. When he finally got the stupid keycard in and pushed the door open, he almost, literally, knocked me right off my feet he was moving so fast.
Biting down on my bottom lip to get myself under control, I shifted on my heel to face him and rested my hands on the tops of his shoulders to get him under control a little more too. He seemed to sense we needed to slow things down, that there was no need for the hurry anymore, and reached up to gently brush his thumb across my cheek. That was all I needed to send myself flying off the cliff.
I just hoped he would be there to catch me.
Letting go had never been easier and as I leaned forward to brush my lips against his, there was no hesitation. No second-guessing. All that was left was just this moment, the fact that we were here, surrendering to something we'd never really been able to fight off in the first place. This wasn't about need right now. This was just about the emotional connection we'd always had manifesting itself physically.
With that last thought propelling me forward, my fingertips slid up underneath his white T-shirt, relishing in each inch of taut skin under my touch, and slipped the shirt over his head, sending it drifting down to the carpet. Caleb remained motionless, allowing me to take control and letting me set the pace.
My gaze lingered hungrily on the sinewy display in front of me until my eyes locked on my name, inked directly over his heart. I reached out to trace the letters, flitting my eyes shut when his hands slid around my waist to pull me against his bare chest.
"Do you..." he murmured, trailing off to grasp hold of the words. "Do you still have it?"
He didn't need to elaborate. Of course it was still there. Just like my name was forever marked on him, his name was still written on me, a permanent reminder of what we'd had, of what we still had. Wanting to put him out of his misery, I obliged him by lifting my tank top over my head, standing before him now in just my bra and jeans, and turned so he could finally see what he'd been waiting for.
When his fingers brushed against the pair of angel wings on my lower back, he blew out the breath he must have been holding and then placed a gentle kiss on the top of my shoulder. Putting just enough pressure on my hips to tell me what he wanted me to do, we walked toward the bed with his lips working their up my shoulder until they stopped at my neck, sucking and moving on my skin until I thought I might crumble right under his hands just from that touch alone.
Desperate for a little more control, I whirled around to face him and playfully tugged on his belt to pull him closer so I could rid him of all these clothes he was still wearing. A roguish smirk played on his lips as I made quick work of unbuckling his belt and yanking his jeans down to his ankles. He did the rest of the work and kicked himself free of his jeans before reaching out t
o return the favor.
His entire body followed in the direction of his hands, lowering himself inch by inch as he lazily dragged my jeans down my legs, and pausing every few moments to kiss the newly exposed skin. My hands tangled themselves in his hair when his lips moved over my panties and I sucked in a haggard breath when he kissed me through the material.
Moments later, Caleb's rough fingertips slipped inside my panties, making me jump from the light, familiar touch, and then my hands were on the tops of his shoulders to somehow steady myself as he helped me step out of them.
Now I was almost completely exposed in front of him and he was kneeling in front of me, as if he was worshipping me at my feet. My eyes just about rolled back into my head at the heady sensation of feeling him so close and I nearly fell right out of my skin.
While I could've easily stood there, basking in his adulation for the next hour or so, this wasn't what I wanted right now. We could do this some other time when I didn't have this sudden sense of urgency attacking me.
"Caleb," I murmured desperately. I didn't want to wait anymore. We'd already been waiting for so long, even a few more minutes felt excruciating.
Luckily, he seemed to read my request in between everything I was too worked up to say and pivoted on his knees until he bounced back on the bed, spread out in all his glory. God, how had I survived so long without this? Without his touch? I'd been completely insane for thinking I could somehow live a full life without having him this way, without letting him love me this way.
He was already sprawled out on the bed with his hands folded behind him on the pillow, grinning back at me as I crawled up the length of him before finally settling myself down.
There was no going back now and I didn't want to.
Caleb met me the rest of the way and his mouth closed over mine before I even had a second to react. There was really only one way we could possibly get any closer. He sat up, pulling me with him, so that I was straddling his lap and I wrapped my arms around his neck. When I angled my hips down, pushing him inside me, tears sprung into my eyes at the sensation.
Finally.
Now that we were finally connected the way we needed to be, there was no reason to hurry. There was no reason to rush the feel of his chest pressing into mine, or the sweet, torturous pressure building between us, or the way he couldn't seem to get enough of me, or the way his teeth nipped at my bottom lip, or the way his eyes seemed to sear right through me, or the way we both clung to each other, holding on for dear life.
This was what I'd been missing.
Everything else just fell by the wayside. Wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me and then I was clinging to the back of his head to try to somehow bring him closer. My head fell back as my breath grew rougher as I struggled to keep up with the rest of my body, and the precipice was right there, beckoning to let myself go. Then, with one more rock of my hips down into that sweet spot, I came apart on top of him completely.
My entire body shivered against his chest and I cried out with relief, desperately clinging to the tremors and pricks of pleasure that coursed all the way down to my toes. A moment later, Caleb groaned into my ear, tightening his forearms around my back as he tensed underneath me and buried his face into my chest.
We stayed like that, with our chests heaving, wrapped around each other's body, with me straddling his lap in this embrace, until he sighed into my neck and pressed a gentle kiss into my collarbone.
"I love you, Iz," Caleb murmured against my skin.
My eyes flitted shut at those words and now my heart thundered in my chest for a different reason.
"I know," I whispered back and buried my face into his neck. "I know."
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Push-Back
Caleb
The sunlight peeked through the cracks in the blinds and I groaned into my pillow at the intrusion, pulling Isabelle closer to my chest. Just the feel of her bare skin resting so easily against mine, almost like she was melting into me, was enough to shake the sleep right out of me. Right about now, I could think of a lot things I'd rather be doing in bed with her instead of sleeping.
I brushed some soft wisps of blonde hair off her neck and pressed my lips there, lazily dragging them up and down her sweet, smooth skin until she stirred in my arms.
A slow, sleepy smile curved up the side of her lips and I shifted my lips there, tasting as much as I could as quickly as I could get it. Isabelle murmured something against my lips and one muffled laugh later, my lips were still glued to hers as I shifted myself until I was resting comfortably in between her thighs. Finally right back where I wanted to be, I didn't feel like wasting any time, even if we technically had all morning.
I just couldn't shake this feeling that if I made one wrong move or said one wrong word, Isabelle would disappear from my arms and from my life. Now that that I had her back exactly the way I wanted her, I suddenly felt like I was running on borrowed time.
All those thoughts about needing to keep my distance disappeared the moment she handed me those papers yesterday. So because she was here, in this bed, in my arms, I knew I needed to hang on to these moments for as long as they lasted. It was that thought that propelled me right where I needed to be and I buried myself inside her.
"Wow," Isabelle laughed in my ear as I found that easy rhythm again we'd had last night. "Good morning to you, too."
"Couldn't wait, babe," I murmured back.
My lips caught her muffled response, pressing myself even deeper into her. It was fucking amazing—all this time and our bodies still seemed to fit perfectly. The time I'd taken to memorize her body when we were first together had totally paid off; there were no awkward, clumsy encounters here. This just all instinct.
Everything last night had absolutely needed to be on her terms and her pace, but now, there was no reason to hesitate. The feeling of her smooth skin slipping and sliding along my body...there was nothing better than this. Absolutely nothing. If this was as far as I got today, if this was all I did, I could just roll over, call it a day, and be completely satisfied with my accomplishments.
How had I survived this long without her? How had I survived for eight fucking years without feeling this? The answer was simple: I hadn't survived. What I'd experienced hadn't been real living. It was just existing.
So I wasn't entirely willing to let her slide out of bed when it looked like she had that very idea. Winding an arm around her waist, I playfully yanked her back against my chest and held her there.
"Ah!" Isabelle laughed as she pretended to struggle against me. "Caleb, stop! I have to get up, you know."
"No," I told her, rolling us until I was on my back and held her firmly against my stomach. "You don't."
"Yes, I do," Isabelle laughed breathlessly, turning her face just enough so we were cheek to cheek. "I have to get back to my dad's. You know that."
I sighed, knowing I was fighting a losing battle anyway and begrudgingly loosened my grip around her waist. "Alright, alright."
"Besides," Isabelle shot me a smirk as she shimmied back into her jeans. "It's not like we can stay in bed all day."
"Oh really?" I cocked an eyebrow at her as my gaze hungrily trailed up and down her beautiful curves despite the fact that she was covering them up now. "I have a lot of ideas of what we could do in bed all day, Iz, and I think you'd love every one of them."
"I don't doubt that for a second," Isabelle laughed and tossed my long-forgotten T-shirt at me. "But I still have to get back to my dad's before the hospice nurse gets there."
It was kind of difficult to justify cracking jokes about keeping her in bed all day when she had real, serious reasons to get out of bed. At some point, I needed to head back into the shop, too. It wouldn't clean itself and I had an insurance appraiser coming later.
Besides, this way, we could let some anticipation build throughout the day until I could get her back in bed again. Yeah, that was the way I needed to look at this.
So when w
e sat in her dad's driveway with only the sound of my truck idling to cut through the silence, I didn't know where to go from here. And in the end, I let Isabelle call the shots.
"I, um," Isabelle whispered into the silence, rubbing her hands on her jeans as she spoke. "I should probably head inside."
"Okay," I shrugged, reaching out to slide a hand over her shoulder to tell her everything really was okay. "I can bring some lunch back to your dad's after I'm done with the insurance guy if you want."
"You don't have to do that," Isabelle paused for a moment to gauge my reaction. "It's more important for you to be at the shop now more than anything, right?"
No, it wasn't. Not if being at the shop meant being away from her, but I knew what she was doing right now. She needed some space; that much was clear, but she wasn't completely pulling away from me either. She wasn't running and she wasn't telling me to leave her alone. Well, she wasn't really telling me much of anything, but I had to choose my battles with her carefully.
"Okay," I shrugged again, willing to play this game if that was what she needed. "That's cool. I'll just swing by your dad's after I'm done at the shop for the day, alright?"
Her lips curved up into a beautiful, almost shy smile and that just reinforced how much I needed to give her the time and space she needed. We were on fragile ground, despite what had happened last night, and if she'd been cagey before, she had to feel even more so now.
And when I leaned over, pretty much invading her space, she met me halfway and let me kiss her goodbye. My mouth lingered over hers and she smiled into my lips, giving me one more kiss before sliding out of my truck.
The rest of the day seemed to go off without a hitch. The appraiser came and went and clean-up duties went on as planned. I walked around my dismantled shop, despite the fact that it wouldn't be up and running again anytime soon, almost feeling like things had finally fallen back into place.
