by Pam Uphoff
"Well, not right now, the spring breakup was a bit late this year. It'll calm down in just a few weeks, and the barges will all crowd down the river, and Uncle Damien will have more business than he can handle."
"I see." Leanna grabbed the seat again as they headed down the far side of the bridge. I never considered how anything worked.
Sanda swung left on the first road and tuned toward a large complex, four or five buildings, interconnected. "Oh look! They got a whole new showroom!"
Big windows, skylights, display tables and wall shelves full of bottles, printed sales brochures all over the place.
Mind boggling claims about health effects.
"Hi! Welcome to Never Any Question!" A gentleman with a big toothy grin. "How may I help you ladies?"
Leanna smiled back. "I have a beauty shop. I was looking for shampoos, but now . . . " She gestured at the whole room full of astonishing claims.
"Oh, you've come to the right place! What do you want your shampoos to do? And you'll be wanting large quantities? And perhaps you'd like to sell small bottles to your customers? We can print labels with your shop's name on them. Let me show you . . . "
Sanda laughed about how she ought to have brought one of the big wagons, but Leanna's purchases did all fit. Barely.
The new treatments were a huge success, business was booming.
Just as well, considering how much those puppies were eating. And if they weren't as compliant as the maids, they did learn fast. All it took was confidence and a commanding air.
The maids . . .
"Poor sweeties, from the way you're rounding out, not only did Tressa not feed you enough, she let someone take advantage of you." Leanna thought about the morals of her snooty upper class parents, all of her old friends . . . All about appearances and nothing of understanding and charity. "Well, no one's going to throw you out on the street to starve . . . We'll have to fix the house up a bit."
And when Tressa returns? We'll all three be out on the street. So . . . I might as well go out in style!
Handymen, painters, a gardening service . . . All smartened up, the house looked terrific. New sheets and a big fluffy comforter for the bed, all in her favorite pink.
She eyed the small bedroom with all the bottles. "I'll put them in the attic, perhaps this can be the babies' room. I think this calls for a celebration."
"Not too much to drink, for you two, it's not good for the babies. Is there a large bowl? We could do a fruit punch. Use up that half bottle of wine upstairs . . . well, I suppose I'd better get more, so it's a real party . . . "
She closed the beauty shop early that afternoon.
It was fun.
"It's been too long since I threw a party. Too long since I was just having fun, and not trying to impress Tian's officer friends and their stuck up wives!"
The punch was fantastic . . . and the effect on these poor stupid . . . She dashed upstairs for the "no conception" potion she'd bought and added it to the punch. Because the shop girls were going to need it!
She fanned herself and tried to not imagine doing it with the cute shop boys. Or Franz, their best haircutter. The scalp massages he gave while shampooing . . . Leanna fanned harder.
I ought to look up Lester. Hmph, venial fool did me a favor, ruining my marriage. Now I'm glad I was so stupid . . . and he was fun . . . More fanning.
She added more fruit juice to the punch and did not add any more wine.
The party went on all night, and only at dawn did all the young people fall asleep.
Leanna woke from a doze, sitting at the desk in the least comfortable chair in the house. In the room where I'll see the least embarrassing actions! She prowled the house, eyed the foursome in her bed with some bemusement. Snoring bodies sprawled all over the parlor sofa and chairs and rug . . .
Downstairs, the maids were both in their little room, Franz stretched out between them.
Leanna shook her head and poured the dregs of the punch into one of the wine bottles. I should stick it in the cold box . . . or, of course, I could drop in on Lester . . .
By the time she returned, all the guests were gone, and the maids were holding their heads.
"Oh dear. Hangovers." I feel fantastic, and wasn't Lester just delighted to see me! Leanna bustled off to the kitchen, forced the girls to drink some tea, nibble a few crackers, and sent them back to bed.
Then a shower, fresh makeup and clothing and off to the shop . . . still locked up and dark.
"Oh dear."
It was—strictly from a business sense—not a very successful day. She'd already missed a trio of appointments, and two ladies were waiting impatiently in their carriages. Leanna swallowed panic, brewed tea and chattered while she got out the facial creams and applied them. The staff trickled in looking bright-eyed and actually more intelligent than usual, and took over, Leanna relaxed and—ignoring a touch of headache and nausea herself—got back to chatting up the ladies as they dropped by.
The staff was coping much better than usual. Leanna gave into her sleep deprivation and headed home.
Moments later she heard the knock on the door and identified it easily. Lester. Excellent, a bit of afternoon fun.
Chapter Five
Summer 1397
Karista, Kingdom of the West
It was all well and good for the God of War to suggest it, but that didn't mean Xen was available to ask who deserved to be robbed.
But as long as Kevi was back in the city, he figured he should test his skill at disguise.
He was on his second cup of really good coffee and neither Emerald nor Jani had twigged to his identity. Of course the way they were chattering, they might not have noticed or recognized him anyway.
"Have you seen Tressa lately?" Sandy was a Karista Bay witch, so she didn't know him. She had a clothing store two doors down. Kevi thought the pose of the manikin in her shop window was a bit too suggestive. Of aggressive dominance. He supposed that was better than implying that the women wearing her clothing were whores. Which might be an easy mistake to make except for the value of the fine cloth and amount of lace involved.
Emerald shook her head. "No. A couple of her customers were complaining about the lack of personal service, but the others said it was nice to not be over charged any more just because they could afford it." She owned the coffee shop, and was talking while she dragged the last chair out to the patio into the warm afternoon sun and dusted her hands off. Kevi wondered who this Tressa was, who was missing. It sounded bad.
Sandy frowned. "I don't know about that Leanna who seems to be giving the orders now. She's not a witch, and I don't think she understands that the skin and hair products are magic."
Kevi didn't hesitate. This all sounded pretty close to 'someone who deserves to be robbed'. The God of Thieves wasn't going to turn down an opportunity.
***
Kevi decided to start by seeing what he could find out at the beauty salon. Speed and the Hell Hounds were pretending to be tied up a block away. Speed could hear him mentally, so his escape was assured.
He finished his coffee and sauntered off. Once out of sight he warped light and slipped back. A woman walked in and he managed to get in without bumping her. Then he crouched behind one of the weird plants they had around the place and started listening. The gossip was stupid, all about clothing and who was dating whom, or cheating or whatever.
A middle-aged blonde woman finally told the staff she'd take the checks to Tressa and walked out with a small case. He followed, his head aching after holding the warp for so long. On the busy sidewalks people kept bumping him, so he snuck out of sight and released the warp. He hustled and found the woman again, and followed from a distance. There was a to-do behind him, about the loose horse, and he stopped long enough to let Speed catch up. He had to mount to see far enough ahead to spot the lady again, and then dismounted so he wasn't so visible. He spotted the house she entered and left Speed and the hounds around the corner as he walked past it, looking it
over carefully. He turned at the next corner and checked for an alley. No luck. He'd have to get in the from the front. If poor Tressa was being held there . . . well, he'd been practicing spells. Not to mention sword fighting. Hand to hand even. He could do this.
In fact, there was a man walking up the front sidewalk. Kevi warped light and bolted up the street, trying to be quiet. He slowed as the man knocked, and slipped in the door after him.
"Close the door Mari." He'd noticed at the beauty shop that the middle-aged woman ordered people around as if they were stupid. Very irritating. "Bring us a pot of tea, Mari."
Kevi followed the maid, and then broke off to search the house. One bedroom was all fluffy pink stuff, even the curtains. Scary. One was all shelves, full of pretty little bottles. They were all full of stuff, mostly whitish. He could feel the spells, when he touched the bottles, and shivered. These are dangerous. I should take these and get them away from that . . . No. She'll just make more. Kevi bit his lip and slipped out to check on the woman. She and the man were kissing each other as they stumbled down the hallway, probably headed for the pink bedroom. Yech. But he didn't feel any magical potential. He even reached into a clench to touch her hand. No magic.
So if he took the bottles, maybe she couldn't get any more. He dodged past their overly frantic foreplay and started looking for something to put the bottles in. He didn't dare the kitchen, headed back to the pink bedroom. Clothes had flown with abandon, and pink blankets and pillows as well. He slipped in, eyes averted from the naked old people, and pulled a pillow case off a pillow that had fallen to the floor. Scuttled away and started loading it up. He had to go back for a second pillow case, really, really not wanting to see those people without clothes, and still couldn't fit them all in. He labored to get his loot to the door, and dropped one bag with a crash.
The naked people came out of the bedroom, the man with his fists clenched, the woman with a hairbrush raised to strike. Having been hit with plenty of hairbrushes in his youth, Kevi hustled, dropping bottles, and losing his grip on his light warp. He got the front door open and hauled the two almost full pillowcases out, ducking a fist.
Speed was right there at the doorstep, so he lifted one bag over her back, followed with his leg and she was off at a run. Kevi did not look back to see if the naked people were in pursuit. Speed whipped around three corners, and finally stopped so Kevi could fill his saddle bags with the bottles. The saddle bags were bubbles, he realized, as they all fit in.
"All right! Now, let's get out of town. Away Speed!"
Five blocks later they were down to a slow walk, with all the wagons coming and going through the corridors.
Speed pranced uneasily in the crowded street. ::How can we escape in this mess?::
Not that there was anyone chasing them, but still . . . "There's no one going through that arch."
Speed trotted between wagons and turned quickly into the Grantown arch.
They crossed an open area for wagons and pranced into a good sized town. Well built, stone buildings and roadway, a plaza ahead.
Wherever Grantown was, it was prosperous. "Big enough to have a shady side, I'll bet." Kevi eyed the prostitutes on the corner. "They'd probably know if I could sell this stuff here."
The 'girls' were definitely past their prime, fortyish, although it was hard to tell, under all the make up. They were eyeing Speed and pasting on friendly smiles. Might as well give it a try.
"Excuse me, Miss? Is there a, err, pawn shop around here?"
"Well, not as such." The taller woman thrust her bosom out at him. The shorter one, who looked pregnant, waved to someone.
"This fellow bothering you ladies?" The man had the same mousy hair as the two women, probably a relative acting as their pimp.
"He was asking about a pawn shop. We figured, Aunt Susto?"
The man relaxed. "Yeah. Aunt Susto's your best bet. Take that road out of the square for ten miles. It ends at four farms. Ask at the first farmhouse on the left."
"Thanks!"
:: Nice bunch, not all stuck up and defensive like in the New Lands.::
Speed moved out immediately, and as soon as the paving turned to dirt, leaped into a run. The ten miles barely warmed her up, but she turned obediently in at the first farmhouse on the left. It was weedy, unpainted, and had boards across a broken window.
A fat woman in her sixties was rocking on the porch.
"Are you Aunt Susto?" Kevi asked. "Some young women in town said you might be able to buy some used goods from me."
"Well, yes, we do a bit of buying and selling." She got to her feet. "What do you have?"
"My late Grandmother claimed to be a witch." Kevi really hoped Mostly never heard he'd said that. Especially the part about claiming. She probably wouldn't care about being called dead. "Anyway, after the funeral I had to clean out her rooms, and she had all these elixirs in fancy bottles. I figure the pretty bottles ought to be worth something, you know?"
Aunt Susto just loved the pretty bottles. She didn't seem to notice that he was taking an awful lot of them out of his saddle bags. "But it's a lot of work, cleaning them. Well, how about half a crown a piece?"
Anything that got them off his hands and the Bad Witch's strange potions dumped out was fine with him.
It was getting late, and Aunt Susto walked him over to one of her brother's homes. "Can this young man sleep here? And you could put his horse out with the cows and Mortimer's draft horse, couldn't you?"
Kevi was directed around to the back.
The big gelding that slouched over to the gate was huge. Good looking, too.
"That's Beastly." Kevi looked around and spotted a gangly boy up a tree. "He's a maniac killer horse. That's what my cousins say. He tries to kill people. Except Mortimer. And us kids. I ride him all the time, and plow and hitch him to the cart."
:: I like Bad Boys.:: Speed perked her ears.
::Uh oh. No telling what evil tricks he may teach my sweet innocent horsie!:: Kevi received a flick of tail hairs across his arm as he closed the gate behind her.
"I'm Lizard. Do you know anything about cows? Ours ain't having calves."
Kevi eyed the cows. "They're kinda old, aren't they?"
"That's what Uncle Morty says. That we should just buy some young ones and eat these."
Kevi checked that the horses were fenced off from the cattle before he gave them a dose of wine in their water, and then left the bottle with Lizard, with instructions to dose any of them that coliced. "Or whatever cows do."
The kid looked at the half bottle thoughtfully.
"It's medicine. Don't drink it." He repeated that to Speed. :: Stay in the horse pasture. Don't drink the cows' water that I dosed. Especially don't let Beastly drink it.::
"Huh. C'mon in, Aunt Elma is a great cook." The kid led the way through the back door.
Over an excellent dinner, Kevi learned that the four farms belonged to three brothers and their sister Susto. Among them they had sixteen children and nineteen grandchildren.
Jek and Elma, his hosts, had only a single child. "Mortimer doesn't come home very often, he's very busy, being a member of the King's Own and all."
So they were happy to put him up in the absent son's room. Speed pronounced Beastly good company, the cows silly, but the barn fine and hay plentiful.
So was breakfast, and he chatted about farming in general and their problems in particular, with a wide variety of relatives as they showed up for breakfast.
He helped Jek with the pruning, and spent a couple of nights teaching the boys—the four great nephews that helped Jek—their letters. "Too bad there isn't a school out here. You gotta be able to read a little just to get around."
Lizard nodded.
They parted on good terms, with an invitation to return at any time.
He thought about it. The people weren't connected to him in any way, and with a son in the King's Own, some private pulling Palace guard duty, no doubt, the locals wouldn't search their place for a noto
rious thief.
It was, like, a perfect hideout.
Chapter Six
Fall 1397
Karista, Kingdom of the West
So her life had really taken a turn for the better.
Even that thief had taken nothing but the bottles she'd been planning on tossing into the attic.
And goodness! Those revitalizing treatments she was getting weekly at the shop had her doing things she'd never dreamed of. Of course she looked better than she ever had, too. In fact, with her hair blonde now, she fancied she even looked a bit like Tressa.
And Lester. Humph. Well, he'd have to work harder to get permanently back into her good graces, but he was decorative. And he did have a title. Perhaps she'd marry him.
She looked around the beauty shop with a pleased smile.
"Well, well. Now isn't this a surprise. Look who's just stepped into my shoes."
Leanna froze. Turned. Yes. It had finally happened. "Tressa! How nice to see you again!"
"So who put you in charge?"
"I put myself in charge. Someone had to do something when you disappeared. No matter, You'll find everything in place and all the money accounted for." Leanna tried to sound confident. Get the worst over with quickly. Don't try to hide it. "And of course I paid myself a salary."
Tressa looked her up and down. "A salary? Oh, my. Now just how much did you think you were worth?"
Leanna stepped back. "Let me show you." She turned and walked through the door to the store room. My lovely salon! The house!
She had a book where she kept track of payments to the staff back here, and had always included her own salary, and a running total. "Of course, the bank records are at the house. And this doesn't include . . . " Leanna cast a glance back at Tressa.
Tressa was frowning at the shelves. "Where did you get these? These aren't mine!"
"I had to buy new supplies. These are from a place in Wallenton . . . "
