She resettled the laptop on her lap as if in self-defense. It was important to not let her daughter slack off, to push her to do her very best. If she didn’t do it, who was going to? Eric? He couldn’t even be bothered to go pick the child up from school. Like he cared enough to check homework and worry about grades.
“Really?” he asked to something Dani hadn’t even heard. “That’s awesome.”
“And Julie said she would bring one too.”
“Wow. You’re going to have a whole lot of them.”
Jaden giggled, and Dani really did smile then. Not much. But just a touch. Jaden really was a great kid.
Chapter 13
The next morning Dani awoke to the beep of the alarm clock that Eric shut off in two beeps. She didn’t move as he quietly got out of bed and padded across the floor. They hadn’t spoken much the night before. He had put Jaden to bed, and she was in bed and still by the time he’d come. Even without really trying, she felt the distance between them, and although she regretted it, she knew that’s just how things were. There was no helping any of it now. Closing her eyes to that sad reality, she snuggled deeper in the covers as the door closed across the room. What use was it to cry over something she didn’t even care about anymore anyway?
It took superhuman willpower not to check his cell phone until just before church the next morning, and once they headed to the church, Eric stored the thing in the holder in the SUV. His mind said he was crazy for even considering leaving it there the whole service, but he was bound and determined to see this through at least this week. Next week, he could always go back to it.
The others greeted them like they had been founding members of the group. Sage invited them over for fried chicken after the service, and when Dani glanced at him with concern, Eric easily assented without really saying anything. He wanted this, wanted to spend time with them. If for no other reason than to see how the other guys were holding up with the limited technology thing. When the service started, they were four pews from the front. This week he didn’t feel quite so awkward or out of place, and to be honest, he was really looking forward to the sermon.
“In 2 Chronicles, Chapter 20, verses 15 through 17, we read the passage of a great battle of King Jehoshaphat over Jerusalem,” the pastor said when the readings were finished. “I want to look at a couple of specific things the Lord says to them. One, ‘Do not be afraid.’ When we go into battle, especially spiritual battles, we often do so in a spirit of fear. We’re afraid because this person is sick or maybe even we think they might die. Or we’re afraid we might lose our jobs. Or we’re afraid about some trial or trouble in our world. So, God says to us in this passage, ‘First of all, don’t be afraid.’
“I picture Him up there saying, ‘Look, don’t freak out, dude. Okay? I got this.’”
A tremor of laughter crossed the congregation because he sounded like a wanna-be gangster.
“In fact, He goes on to say, ‘Don’t be discouraged even though you’re facing this huge army.’ Why? He tells us in the next part. ‘For the battle is not yours, but God’s.’ What He’s saying is, ‘Look. I know the odds look like they’re stacked against you. I’m no dummy. From your perspective, this must look absolutely hopeless, but take heart. Don’t compare your mountain to your strength, compare it to Mine. Trust me. I’ve got this.”
Although the words should have felt comforting, Eric found them challenging instead. The battle wasn’t his? How could that be? They were his family? And closer still it was his life he was trying to change? How could God say it wasn’t his battle?
“Then God gives them a little military strategy about what they’re going to do tomorrow, so it’s not that they’re to do nothing. He’s going to tell us exactly what we need to do, but He goes on to say, ‘You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and watch what God does for you.’ Cool, right? ‘Take up your positions. Stand firm. And watch what God does.’ That means choose to do this life thing God’s way. Then stand firm in that decision, and watch what God does on your behalf. You might be surprised.”
Sage’s fried chicken was better than any had the right to be. Dani didn’t even really question jumping in to help. She heard Rachel quietly tell Sage that Jaycee hadn’t been feeling well, and she noticed how Sage made it a point to ask Jaycee about her week. It must be nice to have people care about you so much. She’d never really had that.
Oh, she had friends in high school and college, but mostly they just hung out or studied together. She didn’t remember ever checking up on any of them or them checking up on her. They more existed in similar orbits. Of course there was Mitchell, but once he got with Kim, his little sister was the least of his worries.
“So Dani,” Sage asked when the meal was practically over, “what did you think of the place this weekend?”
Dani sat up straighter, knowing she was on display. “Attabury?” she asked both for clarity and to stall another few seconds. She wiped her mouth with the napkin and cleared her throat. “Um, it’s great. It’s bigger… than I thought it was. I’m sure once they get the boards off the windows, it’ll be really amazing.”
“Oh. When will that happen?” Sage asked.
Looking to the others for that answer, Dani’s eyes widened. “Um, I really…”
“Hopefully next week,” Caleb said, jumping in to save her. “Once we get those stairs back in, I think things will really start moving along.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see it,” Sage said with excitement bubbling through the words. “It’s all anyone around here can talk about these days.”
When they headed back to Raleigh, Dani put her head back. Why the weekends were so incredibly exhausting, she had no accounting for. Her eyes fell closed, and she didn’t bother to drag them open again. She was tired, and whether anyone liked it or not, she was going to rest. That’s just how it was going to be.
Driving, Eric looked over at her sleeping, and he shook his head in frustrated annoyance. He had things he wanted to discuss with her. Things about Attabury and Raleigh. He was going to Greensboro again tomorrow, and he was thinking about making the trek out to see his mom. But there would be no discussion now. With that thought, he turned on the radio very quietly. He knew she wasn’t into the Christian music thing, but she was sleeping so what would it matter to her?
As he reached for the radio knob, his gaze brushed the cell phone, still right there where it had been all day. He yanked his gaze away from it, knowing one second too long, and he would be checking it, driving or not. Instead, holding self-discipline with every fiber of his being, he turned on the radio and turned it up a notch. Putting his hands back on the wheel, he let out a breath and checked his mirrors. It was incredible the pull of that little device on his soul. If he could just check it, just for a second…
At that moment, movement in his rearview mirror jerked his attention up to it. A pickup was right there that hadn’t been just a moment before. Where had it…? In the next split second, it swerved to the lane next to him, barely missing the car just back from him and his back bumper. “What…?” But before he could even recover, it swerved again, crossing the white line right in front of him, and only somehow missing them by the fraction of the inch he managed to brake. “Oh, my…! Are you kidding me? What do you think you’re doing? Idiot.” In the next second the whole ordeal was over, and the pickup was flying ahead of them through other traffic that braked and swerved trying to get out of its way. “Jerks!”
Imminent danger passed, tragedy averted. Only then did his racing heart and her wild eyes hold the only testament to what had almost transpired.
“Eric! What in the world! What happened?”
“Daddy…?”
His heart was slamming into his ribcage, pounding so hard it hurt. “It’s okay, baby-girl. It’s okay. They missed us. We’re okay.”
Dani sat up. “What happened?”
Corralling the force of the panic flowing through his veins, Eric reali
zed his hands were shaking something awful, and he fought to keep them under control. Even breathing hurt. “That pickup… I don’t know. It came out of nowhere behind us. I don’t know how they missed us. I really don’t, and then it swerved right there, right in front of us. It should’ve hit us. I don’t know how it didn’t. Did you see it? I almost didn’t. I almost didn’t stop fast enough.”
The wild-eyed panic did not leave her face as she carefully put her hand over on his arm that he was using to clutch the steering wheel. “Are you okay?”
“What the…?” He looked to the side in the lane next to him and braked again as a mass of tail lights came on in front of them. “It’s that pickup. Oh, no. What did they do?”
“What?” Her hand left his arm as her gaze slipped out beyond them. “Are you sure?”
“It’s them. I know it’s them.”
In front of them, traffic slowed more before stopping completely.
“That was a wreck looking for a place to happen.” He slammed his eyes closed and fought like mad to breathe. “Oh, God, that could have been us. That could have been us.”
“Oh, dear Lord,” she said softly. “God, please be with them. Please…”
By the time they made it back to Raleigh, it was nearing ten o’clock. Had it not been for the wreck, they would easily have been home by nine, but it had literally stopped all traffic completely. Added to that, Eric had insisted on making a statement to the cops, and they hadn’t gotten back on the road for very close to an hour after it happened.
Even now, Dani didn’t want to think about it. About the wreck with the little car the pickup had spun into the semi. The lights of the police cars, the ambulances, the fire trucks. She had felt so incredibly helpless as they sat just waiting for the time he could talk to the cops. Worse still, she knew Eric was really shaken up by the whole ordeal. Like speechlessly shaken up, which did nothing to calm her.
When they finally got home, she watched as he walked like a sleepwalker into the house. She wanted to ask him a normal question, but she couldn’t think of one. Not a single one. All was quiet as they came in and went about preparing for bed. It was only when he’d gotten into bed without so much as a word that real fear sliced through her. How quickly did something like post-traumatic stress disorder take to set in? Could something like that cause it? She had no idea.
Nonetheless, worry for him grabbed her and wouldn’t let go. She needed to let someone know, someone who could check on him because she had no idea what to say to him. She considered his mother, then his sister, and finally his brothers. But they would think she’d lost her mind. It was a freak accident. They were fine. What was there to be worried about? But she was worried.
Finally taking out her cell phone in the darkened room, she tapped twice to get Caleb’s name up. Quickly she texted him, her thumbs flying over the keys as she tried to capture just what had happened in as few words as possible. When the text was sent, she let her gaze go over to Eric’s back as she shut the little phone off. As insane as it sounded, she just wanted to let him know she was there. Not that it would help, but it was all she could think to do.
Quietly she scooted through the dark, across the sheets, until she was next to him. She laid her hand on his arm and rubbed it up and down. Knowing no other way to comfort him, she let her hand fall still on his arm and like that, eventually they fell asleep.
The entire night Eric’s mind jerked and jabbed him awake with what had almost happened and what could have happened. It wasn’t so much a dream as a reliving it over and over so that by the next morning, he felt like he’d been KO’d by the heavyweight champion of the world. In fact, he had sat up from the bed and had his cell phone in hand to check the time and weather before he even thought twice about it.
He never made it that far.
Heard you had a rough time getting home. Let me know if you need anything. Glad you’re all safe. We’re praying for you today. Caleb
Eric shook out of the sleep and squinted at the text. Glancing back at the bed, he wondered if he was somehow still asleep and just dreaming. He ran his hand down his face to check, read the text once more, and shook his head. How could Caleb possibly know about their trip home?
When Dani woke up, Eric was already in the shower. She knew she had to get out of bed and get going, but the thoughts of the night before and how shaken he was sent shockwaves of helplessness raking over her spirit. She wasn’t one to make a habit of praying, but she couldn’t really think of anything else to do for him. “God, please be with Eric today. I think he really needs You.”
True to every Monday morning as far back as Eric could remember, Dani was in the kitchen finishing up breakfast before he made it down the stairs. He knew Jaden was already up because he’d heard her moving around like a little mouse in her room when he passed it.
“Morning,” he said, going to the coffee maker and pouring a cup. He felt her gaze follow him, and his mind snapped back to the text.
“Morning,” she said as if she was desperately trying to act normal. “You want bacon?”
He nodded. “Sounds good.” For the breath of a second, his body started toward the table as he whipped out his cell phone to check through the day’s news. He had never realized how ingrained that habit was until he stopped himself, and his body had no idea what to do next.
The breath out was slow as his being jerked and jumped forward, almost yanking him into the motion that had become his morning. Instead of moving, he deliberately leaned back on the counter and took a sip. “So what’s up in your world today?”
How any motion could yank her so violently, Dani didn’t really know, but her gaze jerked up to him in outright concern so fast, it jolted through her. “Oh. You know,” she said after a second and with a shake of her head because she had no idea how to answer that. “Uh.” Her mind fought for the words as she put the bacon in the microwave and set it to start. “Just working.”
“You still working on that Scotland thing?”
Why was he standing there? Looking at her? She wanted to smooth out her hair, to check her robe. Her hands shook at how close he was and how he wasn’t moving even an inch. “Y-yeah. Still working on it.” For a long moment she assessed if he was going to move now, go over to the table, start his morning like he always did. “They’re signing the contracts at the end of the month if everything goes the way we hope it will.”
“And then what for you?” he asked, turning to lean his hip on the counter so he was facing her. “Do you start on something new, or is this one still on the table?”
What were the answers to these questions, and why in the world was he standing there asking them? Her brain fought to figure it out, but it kept bumping into itself, causing a log-jam of thoughts, feelings, and questions. “Oh, we’ll still have a few months and then some when construction gets going I’m sure.”
“That’s been quite a project.”
“Nearly two years.”
Movement behind them at the doorway yanked Dani’s gaze that direction. “Morning, baby girl.”
“The bow won’t stay,” Jaden said, bringing the head band she had gotten for Christmas to her mother. “I can’t get it.”
Any other morning this request would have brought a soul-shaking sigh out of her, but it never came because he was watching her so closely. “Here. Let me try.”
Jaden was right. The thing was just not cooperating. “Here, let’s take it upstairs and see if we can fix it.”
However, just as she started that direction, the microwave dinged. Stopping with a spin she didn’t even feel, she reached for it.
“Here,” Eric said with a smile she could not read. “You go get Ja beautiful. I’ll finish breakfast.”
Dani considered arguing but decided she didn’t really have the words, so she hustled Jaden up the stairs to fix the bow and her hair, the questions nipping at her heels and heart with every step she took.
Breakfast was on the table before they made it back down, and
Eric’s hand was once again itching for the cell phone. The weather, his being screamed at him. He really needed to check the weather to see if they needed to make adjustments in how the day would go. However, when he went to the table, he left the thing lying on the counter, glaring at him with anger.
“Ah, look at you,” he said to his daughter as she bounced into her seat. “You’re going to be the prettiest girl in the whole second grade.”
Jaden grinned at him and shook her head before diving in to eating. A breath and Eric noticed how Dani did not come to the table. Instead, she stayed over by the counter, eating her own breakfast which was a piece of bacon and some coffee as she checked her phone. He breathed that down, realizing it was what she did every morning just before she ran upstairs to throw herself together if she hadn’t come down ready to go.
“So, Jaden,” Eric said, hearing the silence in the room as he never had before, “how’s school going?”
By the time Dani had changed and got Jaden out the door, she was quite sure something was wrong with Eric. For one thing, he was unusually talkative. For another, she could feel him watching every move she made. She thought about texting Caleb about it again, but she was afraid that might be stepping across a boundary, so instead she went to work and tried to put it out of her mind.
Eric made it a point to get all the way to his desk before he returned Caleb’s text. He’d never realized the willpower something so simple would take to accomplish. Thanks for the prayers. We needed them. It was a close call. Trying not to be addicted to the cell phone today, so if I don’t reply right away, that’s why. God bless!
He sent it and got to work.
Raising Attabury: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 5) Page 19
