“Ms. Jane said we could make cookies if I come this week. She said peanut butter, but I don’t like peanut butter in cookies.”
“Hm. That’s a problem. How about we stop at the store and get stuff for chocolate chip? Would that be better?”
Her eyes got wide. “With the big chunks?”
He laughed. “We’ll try.”
“I have to say I sure am glad it’s you this time,” Joel said as he fingered his glass of wine. “The last trip with the engineers? YEECH.” He made a face, and Dani fought not to let her heart fall.
She looked at her watch, not sure of how the time difference worked. “That reminds me, I really need to call home and check on things.”
“Eh.” He waved that off. “It’s home. It’s not going anywhere.”
Still, she thought she really needed to call and check on things.
A moment and he leaned forward. “What do you say we call it a night?”
Never had she heard a better idea. “Yeah. I think we should.”
They got the ingredients for the cookies, and Eric took Jaden to Jane’s. Standing on the front step, cookie fixings in the grocery bag, he rang the doorbell just as the pastor’s car pulled up. He turned, did the mental calculations to figure out who it was, and waved just as the door came open.
“Well, if it isn’t Ms. Jaden and her father,” Jane said. Her hair was up in a bun, and she looked like she’d been cleaning house. “What did you bring me?”
“Chocolate chip cookies.” Jaden held up the bag, and Jane took it to look inside.
“This doesn’t look like chocolate chip cookies,” Jane exclaimed, clearly teasing Jaden.
“It’s not.” Putting her hands behind her back, Jaden swiveled back and forth. “We’re ‘posed to make ‘em.”
Jane’s grin lit her whole face. “Well, now. Come on in. Come on in. No use standing out there all night.”
Jaden went in, and Eric followed.
“We really appreciate this,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how we would ever get it all done without you folks helping out.”
She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling. “Now that’s what God put us here for, to help folks out. Are you hungry? I’ve got some leftovers in here from lunch.”
Just as he was about to say no, the pastor came in the door, laden with books, papers, and a briefcase. “Eric! Boy, this is a surprise to see you here.” He tried to hold out his hand and nearly dropped everything. “Why don’t you come in for a second?”
“Oh.” Eric looked from one to the other and finally gave in. “Okay.” He put up his hands to Jane. “Thank you for the leftovers. Jaden might want some. We left Raleigh pretty quick, and she wasn’t hungry then, but those miles…”
“Say no more.” Jane put her hand on his arm. “Don’t worry about Jaden. She is the most precious child on the planet. I think God sent her here for a reason. Oh.” She stopped. “You don’t mind if I teach her some embroidery, do you? Just a little. She was watching me last time, and I told her I’d teach her if it was okay with you and her mom.”
“I don’t see why not. Sounds like a great idea.”
As Jane headed back into the house, Eric followed all the way to the office where he found the pastor at his desk that was heaped with more books and papers. How it even stayed on the thing was a mystery.
“You wanted to see me?” Nerves started crawling on Eric. Although he’d been in the office with the others, he’d never been summoned her by himself. In his whole life, he’d only been in the principal’s office twice. This was that exact same feeling.
“I did. Come on in. Have a seat.”
Not really knowing where this was going, Eric did as he was told, going over to the couch as the pastor closed the door. That couldn’t be good. Eric shifted to get comfortable on the couch. It didn’t work.
When the pastor sat down, his face betrayed the worry. “I know I’m not your formal pastor, so don’t think this is a summons.” He took a breath. “It’s just that I was talking with Caleb the other day, and he mentioned that he was really concerned about you and Dani, said you’d called him…?”
Eric closed his eyes before ratcheting them open. “Yeah.” He pulled forward and put his elbows on his knees. “It’s been a long week.”
“Weeks have a way of doing that to a person.”
A second and Eric decided he really did need some good, solid advice and maybe without the guys here, it would be easier to ask for it. “Dani and I, well, things have been kind of rocky for a while now. She’s got all this pressure with her job and her parents and everything, and… Wow, this sounds selfish. It’s like there’s no time for me anymore.”
The pastor nodded gravely.
“We used to connect, you know? Go out. Do stuff. Now… we hardly see each other, and when we do, it turns into a fight half the time. I want my marriage to work. I really do. And Caleb, he gave me some solid advice about chasing Satan away from Dani and all of that. It really helped.”
“But…?” the pastor said when the pause lasted too long.
“But, what if she doesn’t feel the same way anymore? What if I want us to last, but she’s already going in another direction.”
“Do you think she is?”
It was a question Eric wasn’t sure how to answer.
“So what do you think of Scotland so far?” Joel asked as they went to the stairs.
“What I’ve seen of it is nice. Quaint. Old country,” Dani said, half turning to address him because he was behind her climbing the stairs. “It’s charming.”
“Have you traveled much? Seen the world?”
She shook her head. “Not as much as I would’ve liked. I always thought I would in college, but then, you know, you get married, have a kid. The rest of life kind of goes on without you.”
“I hear ya there. Wait ‘til it’s a couple kids going off to college and an ex that hates your guts.”
The thought slammed into Dani. Of course she and Eric had had their problems, and yes, there were times she really was tired of all of the drama. But hate? Could she really hate Eric like that? Could bitterness ever take over so solidly that nothing other than hate would be left?
“Oh, yeah. You haven’t lived ‘til you’re trying to decide who gets the china nobody wanted in the first place.”
She nodded, hearing echoes of her parents in that statement.
“But.” He shrugged. “It’s not all bad.”
“Oh? How’s that?”
He glanced over at her, his hand in his pocket. “You’re off in a hotel somewhere with a beautiful woman. There’s really no reason not to anymore.”
“I don’t know,” Eric finally said. “I want to think the answer’s no, but sometimes… She works really long hours some nights, and even when she’s home, she’s on her computer. She’ll go down to the kitchen to work instead of coming to bed. I don’t think she’s like talking to someone else, but sometimes…”
He stood and paced three steps one way. “We just feel so disconnected. Half the time I can’t even talk to her. You know when you had us shut our cell phones off?” Shaking his head, he opened his eyes. “You have no idea how many conversations I had that week by myself. She was right there, in the passenger’s seat, and she might as well have been on Mars. I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t know how to connect if she doesn’t want to. How can we be a couple if only one of us is in this thing?”
“Not to?” Dani puzzled at his wording. “Not to what?”
She turned to Joel who smiled at her.
“Come on, Dani. You have to know how attractive I think you are.”
Attractive?
“High powered woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go get it? That’s such a turn on.” When he came face-to-face with her, his hand slipped under hers, and she barely held the gasp back. “Besides, we’re going to be here for who knows how long. Late nights, lonely mornings don’t sound like a great plan.”
Carefully, sl
owly, she pulled her hand out of his. “I… I don’t know what you thought, but…”
He put his head back in frustration. “Oh. Let me guess. It’s the marriage thing, right?” His eyes came back to hers. “It’s okay. We’re in Scotland. Nobody ever has to know…” He breeched the gap between them and took her hands again as her heart began to pound so loud she could hear it. “Come on. Dani. You’re a big girl. You’re a woman, a beautiful, exquisite woman. You’re not dumb. You know this is how things are done in the real world.”
“I prayed over her, the other night,” Eric said, his voice cracking on the emotions that had run under the foundation of his life from that moment to this. “Like Caleb said, telling Satan to get lost. But what if that’s not enough? What if…? What if she still…?”
“Would you like me to pray with you?” the pastor asked, his eyes as concerned as any Eric had ever seen.
“Do you really think it helps?”
“Yes. I really do.”
A second, and he nodded. “Okay.”
When Joel leaned in to kiss her, Dani wasn’t totally sure what took over, but her hand was out of his and across his face so fast it surprised even her. The slap could be heard echoing up and down the hallway, and Joel jerked back in shock.
“Ow. What the… what was that for?”
“For being a class-A jerk for one. For thinking you could talk me into… Ew.” She retched at the very idea and pulled her other hand out of his.
His eyes descended into fury. “I could have you fired, you know?”
Horror melted through her like fire. Her job? What would she do without her job? However, in the next second her whole life flashed before her eyes, and in it, she saw the job was only a sliver of who she really was. “Do it,” she said, lifting her chin. “You try it, and I’ll sue you and Drake for sexual harassment so fast it’ll make you feel like Jupiter spinning on its axis.”
Malevolence crawled down his face. “You don’t have any proof.”
“Don’t I?” Her gaze never so much as faltered. Without really turning, she pointed up at the camera in the corner of the hallway. “You sure about that?”
“Satan, you cannot have Dani,” Eric prayed, his heart and soul tearing out of him. “You can’t. God. Dani is Yours. She is Your child. She is a Child of the King. Do not let Satan get near her. Thwart his aims, Lord.”
“Snare his schemes,” the pastor said.
“Give her strength, Lord to fight.”
“What do you say you and I take a little trip down to the hotel security office?” Dani said. “We’ll just see if I have any proof or not.”
Joel looked at her, his face going ashen. “Uh, you… we don’t have to…” He picked up both hands and held them there. “It’s cool. Right? Nothing happened.”
Twining her arms in front of her, Dani raised her eyebrows. “Uh. Huh. Nothing happened. And nothing’s going to happen either. Do we understand each other?”
“Uh. Yes. Yes. We… we understand each other… perfectly.”
“Good.” She tipped her head down but never took her eyes off of him. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
“Give her wisdom,” the pastor said.
When the door closed on Joel’s room, Dani at first went to her door. However, her gaze slipped back to his, and she went downstairs instead.
At the front desk, she asked for the security officer who came out of the back. His thick Scottish accent reminded her of some guy trying to hurl logs for no reason she could explain.
“Yes, Ma’am,” he said when she asked about the cameras. “They are on 24-7 for the full security of our patrons and guests.”
“Great,” she said with what she hoped was a disarming smile. “In all of the hallways?”
“Every last one of them.”
“And how long do you keep that footage?”
“One year.” He reached down and hiked his pants. A moment and he leaned down closer to her. “Actually, I’ve not thrown any of it out in about five if you want to know the whole truth. I keep it in a back room. I suppose when they come through and renovate in a couple years, I might have to do something with it then.”
Dani smiled sweetly. “Thank you so much.” She glanced down at his name tag. “Alan. You’ve been a big help.”
“Any time, Ma’am. Any time.”
Eric’s phone beeped on his hip, and he whipped the thing out intent on shutting it off. One look and his breath caught. “It’s Dani.”
Just like that, the pastor sat back and nodded at the phone.
Tapping it on, Eric took a breath because his emotions were flying through him like a paper airplane in an out-of-control wind tunnel. “Hey, babe.” He put his hand up on his head, fighting like mad to get himself back together. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her.
“Hey.” Her voice was soft, tired, and quiet.
“How’s… how’s it going?”
It took a moment to answer. “Good. It’s going good.” She let out a breath. “I really miss you.”
His gaze fell to the pastor, and not wanting to have this conversation with an audience, he stepped over to the window. “I miss you too.”
“How’s Ja? She okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. She’s great. We’re at the pastor’s right now. She’s making chocolate chip cookies with Jane.”
The thought jerked Dani’s heart hard. She should be at home making cookies with her daughter. Gently she brushed her hand over the diary. Hazel never got that chance with Benjamin. “Tell her to save one for me.”
“Oh.” He sounded surprised. “You’re coming home?”
This pause was longer. “No. Not yet. But soon. I hope soon.”
Just why Eric could tell she had no sword or shield up, he didn’t know, but she sounded like the fight had gotten the best of her. “Well, that’s great, hon. Just remember, we love you so much, and you’re doing an awesome job.”
She sighed and sniffed. “You think?”
“I know.”
When they hung up, Dani picked up the diary and opened it to the page she had left off.
December 25, 1932
Christmas. So much sorrow all around. I look backward to Christmases before, and I see joy and hope and promise and love. Were it not for Olivia now, there would be no joy left at Attabury at all. Tony did not even stay up tonight to unwrap his present, and I did not have the heart to open mine. I do hope that the two I sent back home have reached them. Oh, how I miss them all. If I had known how quickly it would all end, I would have loved them more when I was there. Instead, how much time did I waste wanting more, thinking the future would make me happy when the present was all I ever really had? God bless Olivia. She reminds me every day that God loves me. She says hope is a weapon if you hold onto it. I am really trying. Without that, I do not know how much longer I could go on.
Dani’s heart ached for the pain of the woman behind the words. Where hope was lost what remained?
March 1933
Received word of Papa’s death.
“God, come on. Give her a break. You’ve got to give her a break. She can’t go on like this.”
June 1942
Tony dragged the plow to town to be melted for the war effort. I have collected everything I can find that is made of rubber—save Tony’s rainboots. He says he may need them again if the farm revives. I cannot say I believe it will but the very fact that he thinks it might I will not take from him.
April 1945
The war has been declared over. Tony says the man Hitler has ended his own life. I cannot say I feel any sorrow at his passing though I know that surely portends a flaw in my character. I believe each man will have to answer for what he has done. This man, surely, has much to answer for.
May 1945
Spring has arrived, barely saving my dreary spirit from the cold loneliness of the winter. Tony offered to take me to church this morning, but I fear my attendance there is not good for the Christianity of the other
townsfolk. I have never discerned if this is my doing or that of the Attabury family, though I would never admit to having that consideration. Still, I know that when I attend, very few attend to the pastor’s words. Instead, they take heed of my presence. So in consideration of their good graces with God, I have chosen permanently to withhold my going—even on such a beautiful spring day as this.
Dani shook her head. So much had changed. So much hadn’t.
January 1949
Tony has developed a cough which has both Olivia and I tethered to him day and night. He can barely get out of bed. Olivia suggested we bring the bed downstairs, but Tony will not hear of it as he is so fond of the new bathroom he finished upstairs just this summer. I must say the stairs are becoming worn for our taking them.
Clearly 1949 was not a good year for Tony. The very next passage was the one that spoke of his death. Taking a breath, Dani closed the book, spent for the day and the reading. It was dark outside her window, and she gazed out into the darkness wondering if it looked the same as in North Carolina. She looked at her phone and considered calling Eric again, but she couldn’t make herself a nuisance. So she slid off the bed to get ready for the night. It would surely be a short one.
“These two on this side,” Caleb said as they inspected the trees outside that would be removed the following week, “and this one on this side. The root systems all snake right under the house. It won’t be as simple as just yanking them out.” He held up a finger. “But there is good news.”
Eric shook his head, his arms twined in front of him. “Lay it on me. I am ready for some good news.”
They went inside, and he had to admit, every room brought very good news. The new windows were like inviting Heaven itself inside. “Wow. Look at this!” Mesmerized, Eric went over to survey the front bay windows. They were magnificent. “Oh, Dani’s going to love this.”
“It gets better.”
Raising Attabury: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 5) Page 29
