by Kat Mizera
She had no idea what his story was, but her women’s intuition rarely steered her wrong and it was screaming that he was playing his cards close to the vest. The only reason she was comfortable staying with him was because whatever it was couldn’t possibly involve her. There was no way in hell he’d known she would go running out of her room at the same time his car alarm went off, so their meeting had been accidental. With that in mind, she didn’t care what his secrets were—she just wanted to enjoy this unexpected gift he’d given her. And maybe the company of the hottest man she’d ever seen.
When they’d met this morning she’d been stressed and terrified, so though she’d been aware of him, she wasn’t looking at him that way. Now that she was here and about to spend some time with him, she was hyperaware of every little detail about him, from that crazy haircut to the body that made her mouth water. A little. Okay, a lot.
He dipped his head underwater to get wet and as he stood up straight, she watched the drops rippling off him with delight. Now that she wasn’t worried about her safety, she’d morphed into relaxation mode and enjoying the view of this hunk of a man who’d been so sweet to her was definitely a perk. She couldn’t have torn her eyes away from him if her life depended on it, and in another place and time she would have licked the water off his chest just for the chance to touch him. He probably hadn’t given her a second thought, but who could blame a girl for having a little fantasy?
“What do you do in Toronto?” he asked as they relaxed in the water.
“I’m an assistant at a law firm,” she responded.
“You like it?”
She shrugged. “It’s okay. I have a degree in business but haven’t been able to decide which aspect I want to focus on. I’m not interested in marketing, human resources bores me and I don’t want to do anything with numbers.”
“That leaves sales, project management…”
“What type of business does your family have?” she asked, looking up at him with interest. She hadn’t been expecting intelligent conversation about business of all things.
“It’s an auto repair shop—both repairs and bodywork.”
“Are you a mechanic?”
He smiled. “I do a lot of different things, but yeah, working on cars and motorcycles is something I enjoy. Just wish I had more time for that kind of thing instead of…business things.”
“I wish I had more time to travel,” she admitted. “Angelique and I started planning this trip almost a year ago. She’s my best friend and roommate. We started saving up but then...”
“Why’d she cancel?” he asked knowingly.
She rolled her eyes. “Why do girls usually bail on their friends?”
“A guy.” He grimaced. “So she met a guy and…what? He wouldn’t let her go on vacation?”
“No. She said she would miss him too much! She’s at his place almost every night, or he’s at ours. They’re together every minute of the day outside of work and he told her she couldn’t possibly love him if she wanted to be away from him for six whole days.”
He groaned. “Damn, that’s a tired one.”
“Exactly. He was fine with it until we started showing him the brochures and stuff—he was probably afraid she’d meet someone interesting once she got on a beach!”
“He’s not interesting?” he asked, arching his brows.
She made a face. “He would be fine if he didn’t whine. I mean, like, all the time. Angelique…smoochy…” Her voice got high and nasal as she mimicked Angelique’s boyfriend, Alan. “Can you get my socks? My feet are so cold with the air conditioning on… And where are my glasses? You know I can’t wear my contacts after eight hours! Love kitten, did you take your pills? We don’t want a little baby smooch before we’re ready…”
“He called it a little baby smooch?!” He was laughing and she started to snicker.
She covered her mouth with her hand as she giggled. “He’s such a little whiner.”
“What does she see in him?”
She sighed. “Angelique was with her high school boyfriend for years…from grade nine until two years ago. She got home one day from wedding dress shopping and caught him in bed with one of his cousins.”
“His cousin? Like a first cousin?!”
She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. It’s been ugly. We’re actually from Kingston, Ontario—about two hours east of Toronto—but after that she had to get out of there and we both started job-hunting. It didn’t take long so we got an apartment together and she just dove into work—she’s a nurse. She didn’t date anyone for over a year and then she met Alan, who to be fair is also a nurse and a really good one. But he’s the complete opposite of her ex, small and nerdy and kind of clingy… I guess she likes having all the power or something. I don’t know. I’d kill him if he was my boyfriend.”
“So…you’re single?”
She squinted up at him. “As a matter of fact, I am. How about you? You have a girl out in California that likes motorcycle grease under a guy’s nails?”
He glanced down at his hands, which were decidedly free of grease at the moment, and shrugged. “No one special in my life right now. Like I said, a lot going on.” He opted not to mention he didn’t live in California anymore. He actually lived and played in Ottawa, not too far from her hometown of Kingston, but he couldn’t mention that either.
“That means we can flirt.” Her eyes twinkled.
“We can.” He managed to nod, though his mouth had gone a little dry. “I guess you’re truly on vacation now, huh?”
She made a strange face. “Angelique told me just over a week ago that she wasn’t coming with me—the last day we could cancel the reservation here without paying a fee. At that point, I went straight into stress mode, trying to figure out if I could afford it. Since I couldn’t get a refund on my flight, and I desperately wanted to lie on a beach, I talked myself into coming alone. I had to find a more affordable hotel, which I did, although we know how that ended. Then I downgraded the car rental from a convertible to the little budget thing I had, which was lame. I took care of everything but the reality is that I’m not a great solo traveler. I mean, I’m fine with the logistics of finding my way around and all that, but it isn’t fun. Sitting on the plane, I kept turning to tell Angelique something I was excited about and she wasn’t there. By the time I landed I was in a funk, and the lost suitcase just added to it. When I got to that motel and saw what a dump it was, I knew I was screwed but didn’t know what else to do.”
“Couldn’t you call home…your family or whatever? Ask for help?”
She lowered her eyes. “I’m kind of the black sheep of the family, even though no one would actually say that. My older brother is…super successful, makes a lot of money, started a charitable organization—he’s amazing. My younger brother has been working his way up the corporate ladder since he graduated from college and is doing well too. They’re both in solid, wonderful relationships and have interesting, mostly fulfilling lives. Me? I’m a glorified secretary. Can’t find a guy, boring job, no plan for the future—there’s nothing special about Maddie.”
He cocked his head, squinting in the bright sun. “I think there’s plenty special about Maddie,” he said slowly. “You’re beautiful, smart and resourceful. What happened this morning wasn’t your fault. You’re probably a nice girl from a nice family who grew up in a suburban neighborhood, right? You ever stumble onto an armed robbery before?”
She shook her head vehemently. “No!”
“Exactly. So what happened this morning had nothing to do with you, and I don’t even put that into the equation when I look at you. Okay, you have a mediocre job that doesn’t thrill you, but what’s wrong with that? Not everyone can be at the top of the corporate ladder or super wealthy. We still need secretaries and teachers—and mechanics. Being a regular person doesn’t make you a black sheep, and not having met the right guy certainly doesn’t! My sister isn’t married either—and she’s 30! How old are you?”
&nb
sp; “I’m 27.”
“I’m 32 and not involved with anyone. Not even dating. I’m kind of an asshole, to be honest.” He was glad for the bright sun because he could feel himself flushing, something he rarely did but Maddie’s vulnerability seemed to be bringing out a little of his own. “I don’t mean to be, it just sort of happens.”
“You’re really good-looking,” she responded, as if that explained everything.
“So are you,” he countered. “What does that have to do with it? Being attractive automatically means you’re an asshole?”
“No, but…” She hesitated. “It’s different with guys. I don’t know why. Maybe that’s a sexist thing to say, but that’s been my experience. The better-looking they are, the worse they behave.” She smiled. “Except my brother and brother-in-law.”
Hawk forced himself not to react. “Your brother and brother-in-law?”
She met his eyes. “My brother is married to a man.”
“Oh. Uh, cool.” Shit. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with her.
There was a hint of a smile on her face, but her eyes were dead serious. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”
“Noooo…” Damn, how could he answer this without burying himself in an even deeper hole than he was already in?
“But?” she prompted.
“We live in difficult times, where those types of relationships are still often frowned upon. I support people no matter what their sexuality, but I find it difficult to watch. Not the act itself—I’m talking about what they go through. The pain, the worry about being seen in public…seeing it is stressful to me. It makes me feel helpless, which is a feeling most men don’t like. So I’m not uncomfortable with the concept, but in practice I have to admit I don’t know how to behave.”
“You’re right,” she said quietly. “It is hard to watch people you love suffer simply because they fell in love with someone society doesn’t approve of. Jamie—my brother—has suffered a lot for being bisexual, more than anyone ever should for anything. I hate it for him, but on the other hand, his husband is the greatest guy, they have a daughter and another baby on the way, and are really happy. I hope someday I find a man who loves me the way my brother-in-law loves my brother.” She paused. “How did this conversation turn into something so serious? I thought we were going to start flirting?”
He inclined his head, grateful for the reprieve. “We can do that.”
Chapter 3
Not a lot of flirting went on the rest of the day. They swam and hung out on the beach for a while, but after a shower and some takeout, Maddie fell asleep on the couch, the carton of shrimp fried rice still in her hand. Instead of waking her, Hawk cleaned up the food and covered her with a light throw blanket. Her suitcase didn’t get to the resort until late but he carried it into her room so it would be waiting for her when she got up in the morning. Hoping she would sleep well, he tried to do the same.
He was up first, even though it had taken him a while to fall asleep, and went for a run on the beach. He got up early to work out year-round and the last two days had messed with his schedule, so he pushed himself a little harder than usual. He ran barefoot on the shore, letting the wet sand raise the level of difficulty. When he got back to Ottawa, he had to be ready to play his ass off. The 5 games plus the $10,000 fine were harsh, but the worst part was that he hadn’t done it. Telling the truth, however, meant throwing a teammate under the bus and that would be a totally different kind of hell. He would be the guy in the locker room no one trusted, and that was the equivalent of death in a team sport. He was in an untenable situation with absolutely no resolution that would fix anything. If he told the truth, his career would probably be over in a year or two. If he didn’t, he would always be considered a terrible human being by…pretty much everyone.
Slowing to a walk, he paused to catch his breath, bending at the waist and resting his hands on his thighs as he inhaled deeply. Damn, he’d gotten himself in trouble before, but never anything like this. He hated what people thought of him, and meeting Maddie was the kind of coincidence that made him wonder if some kind of higher power was trying to tell him something. He didn’t normally believe in that kind of thing—coincidences happened—but this was different. Maddie was different. He barely knew her but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She went from pissed off little hellion to sweet and vulnerable to sexy and strong. Her staunch defense of her brother’s lifestyle warmed him and he wondered how she would feel when she found out they knew each other. Jamie probably hated him now, so he’d been resisting the urge to reach out to him since he’d left Ottawa. This just wasn’t the time, especially now that he’d met Maddie.
Jogging back at a light pace, he forgot all about his dark thoughts as soon as he saw her. She was singing a very off-key version of “Stronger” by Kelly Clarkson at the top of her lungs, dancing around the room as she unpacked her suitcase. He leaned against the doorway watching, enjoying the view of her legs in short shorts as she wiggled her hips and held an imaginary microphone.
Maddie jumped when she realized Garrett was standing there, her hand flying to her chest. “What the hell?!” she demanded. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“I could ask you the same question,” he chuckled. “You definitely shouldn’t pursue a career as a singer.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh, and I suppose you could do it better?”
“No, but you don’t hear me singing either!”
She laughed. “Whatever—I have clothes!”
“Personally, I don’t think they’re necessary, but I’m glad you’re excited!”
She picked up something silky and black. “So…you wouldn’t want to see me in this?” She let the little black dress cascade down from where she held it by the spaghetti straps at the top, meeting his eyes flirtatiously.
He walked towards her slowly, stopping barely an inch away from her. He looked down into her big brown eyes and lifted her chin with a gentle finger. “If I see you in that dress, chances are you won’t be in it for long. Careful what you wish for, little girl, ’cause I wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t all that nice.”
“You’ve been very nice to me,” she whispered.
“Someone shot at us,” he responded in a gruff voice. “I probably would have done my best to protect anyone in that situation.”
“Would you have invited some 60-year-old school teacher from Idaho to breakfast and then to share your villa?” she questioned, a touch of hurt in her voice.
“No.” He leaned down to make a point but instead of listening, she shut her eyes. Watching her eyelids flutter closed in anticipation of a kiss they both wanted made his gut clench with desire. He was desperate to taste her, but when this was all over she was going to hate him, and having sex with her would only exacerbate how much he hurt her. He was only human, though, and looking at those rosy, parted lips waiting for his touch was a little more than he could resist. One taste, he promised himself. Just one.
The moment their lips made contact he knew he was dead in the water. This was going to go bad and he was wholly incapable of stopping it. She was the sweetest thing he’d ever come across and when her tongue tentatively edged between his lips, he was lost. He wrapped one arm around her waist so he could draw her up against him and dug the other into the hair at the back of her neck. Her whimper only fueled the fire and he let himself devour her. They kissed and kissed, going from hungry and urgent to curious and exploratory. It was the opposite of what he expected, but exactly what he needed to put on the brakes.
“Babe…” His voice was rough, raspy with need as he broke contact. “This is too much, too fast.”
“I’m not a little girl,” she whispered. “I’m a grown woman and know what I want.”
“I know, but…” He gently took her by the shoulders and looked down into her face. “We only met yesterday, while people were shooting at us! It was kind of crazy. I don’t want this to feel like payment or—”
; She put a finger on his lips. “That’s not what it feels like. It feels like vacation sex.”
He ran his fingers through her long, velvety hair, his eyes never leaving hers. “Let’s go back to flirting, okay? What your eyes are telling me is totally different than what your mouth is saying. I don’t think you’re a vacation sex kind of girl and I meant it when I said I was trying to be nicer. I don’t want to break hearts and jump from bed to bed anymore.”
She put her hands on either side of his face. “You’re right, I’m not really a vacation sex kind of girl, but there’s a first time for everything and one lust-fueled affair that doesn’t go anywhere isn’t going to ruin my life. But your eyes are telling me something too… You want me but you’re keeping me at a distance. Tell me the truth, Garrett—are you married or engaged or somehow involved with a woman that you’d be cheating on?”
“Absolutely not!” He shook his head.
“Then what are you afraid of?”
He reluctantly took a step back. “My past—and to a degree my present—is complicated. You’re too nice of a girl to get caught up in my life, and you’re definitely too nice of a girl for me to use for vacation sex.”
“Even if that’s what I want?”
He shook his head again. “I think you want it now. In two or three weeks, when you’re back home, you’re going to regret it.”
She pursed her lips but eventually nodded. She hated it, but maybe he was right. “Okay then. Back to flirting it is.” She turned to her suitcase. “I want to hit the beach today. What about you?”
He recognized her need to put some distance between them, but letting her wander around on her own was too dangerous. If she came in contact with a television, it would be all over and he just didn’t want to lose her yet. She would be gone soon enough, but there was something compelling about Maddie Teller that made him want to hang on to her as long as he could—even knowing how it had to end.
“How about I rent a cabana on the beach and we just kick it?”
