by Hattie Hunt
Emma’s eyes burned, and she tried to blame the wind, but she knew better. Things were falling into place. She had started to understand. To trust.
“I am in love with a porcupine. A fucking porcupine.”
Chuck let out a low laugh. Not in derision. No. In the way that a father sees his child grow up.
“And I’ve messed it up horribly.” Emma didn’t try and stop the tears. She accepted them. Because they were true.
Chuck put a hand on Emma’s shoulder. “You are strong, Emma. You always have been. You could be a great alpha. If you want it. I am not going to stop you from walking away. Not everyone with the alpha strength is meant to be an alpha. You are the only one that can make that decision.”
Emma sniffed and wiped the tears away from her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Perhaps you just haven’t found the right clan.” He patted her once and stood up. “Emma, if you are sure this is what you want, take it. There will be no consequence from me, if you take care of your own. Make sure Jordan is willing to step up. If he is not, it is on you to find somebody else.”
Emma stood up next to him. “Thank you, Chuck.”
He nodded. “Is there anything else?”
“No.”
“One of my pack pups just made her first kill. I am missing the celebration.”
Emma nodded and watched him morph back into the black wolf.
I guess that’s it.
Mal’s fur bristled out over her skin, wrapping her in warmth. Yes.
Emma picked up her forgotten phone and lit up the screen. No messages. No calls. It was pushing eleven, and even though it was a Saturday she decided it was time to go home. Tomorrow was a new day, and everything was going to be different.
34
Even though she didn’t make it back to the cabin before midnight, Emma still woke with the sun. She didn’t feel tired, which surprised her until she noticed the weight that had been lifted off her shoulders.
Nothing had been fixed. Everything still sucked, in fact. But she knew where she was going. What she had to do. Wrapping herself in one of the plaid blankets from the hall cabinet, she pulled a box of matches and a year’s worth of old newspaper from the shelf by the door and went outside.
The grass soaked her feet and the hem of the blanket immediately, but it she ignored the chill. Birds flitted between the roof of the cabin and the trees, singing their songs with vigor. Emma knelt by the fire ring and pulled back the tarp covering a stack of wood. She didn’t want a big fire, just enough to push back the cold while she gathered her thoughts.
It was something she and her brothers had always done, back when they used to come to the cabin. They wouldn’t talk. They would just sit there, watching the flames dance with the morning rays. She missed those days. But now, she was there, and it just felt… right.
The fire took longer to catch than it should have. Emma was out of practice. Eventually, it sputtered to life and she breathed it in. As the flames grew, warmth spread through her and she dropped the blanket to the ground letting Mal cover her in fur. Then she sat down, knees pulled to her chest, chin resting on her arms.
Emma knew she needed to talk to Jordan. Things hadn’t ended well the day before. And she hated fighting with her best friend. Despite everything, he was still that. She wouldn’t give up on it and she knew he wouldn’t either. They just had to come to terms with how each of them had changed. The more she thought about it, the more she was sure he would be a good alpha.
Things with Jordan would be easy to fix compared to Mason. Where did she even begin? Sure, she had confessed to Chuck that she loved him, but was that even possible? Could she really love somebody that quickly? Emma had never thought of herself as the love-at-first-sight type of person. But then again, she didn’t really know who she was anymore.
Yet, something about Mason just felt right. And she would never forgive herself if she didn’t at least try, no matter how bad she screwed it up. With a laugh, she shook her head. A peace offering. Emma needed a peace offering, and she knew just what to get.
Mason slept on the couch. He hadn’t planned it that way and he immediately regretted it when he woke up. His entire body ached, kinked from the lack of support. A bus could have run him over and he might have felt better.
Swinging his legs over the edge, he put a little bit of pressure on his busted foot. Still tender. He had at least had the presence of mind to put the crutches within reach, and Mason levered himself up onto one foot and picked up the crutches. By the time he made it to the bathroom he gave up on them. If he was careful, he found that he could put weight on his foot without too much pain. At the rate things were going, he would probably be able to walk without a limp by the end of the day. Definitely by the next morning.
If it weren’t for the subtle reminders coming from his foot, Mason might have been inclined to forget that the day before had even happened. Until he went out to the kitchen to find something to eat—something he had completely forgotten about somewhere between dropping the casserole and rejecting the most amazing woman he had ever met.
He had swept up the casserole dish, but the pieces peppered the top layer of the garbage and the bag of paper towels still lay in the middle of the floor. Opening the fridge, he took a swig straight out of the milk carton and studied his options. Which were few. Sighing, he closed the door.
Rather than scrounge something half edible together, he decided to go to the store. At least then he could get a donut to sustain him while cooked up something better. But not until after a long shower. And maybe after he burned the horrific sweat pants. They smelled like the bar.
As he showered, he tried not to think about Emma. She had rejected him and then he rejected her. They were even. Now, they could move on. He would be fine. Mason had spent his entire life bouncing back from disappointments. Of course, looking back, those disappointments weren’t really as awful as his younger self had thought they were. They were just facts of life.
Mason frowned around his toothbrush. He would bounce back. His parents were happy. They had rediscovered their spirit animals. The three of them were starting over. Mason just had to call mulligan on his first attempt. No big deal.
He spit into the sink and hung up his towel, walking naked to the bedroom. He was so glad to be out of the sweat pants he considered never putting clothes on again. Too bad he needed food. His stomach growled loudly. Like he needed reminding.
Dressed, Mason retrieved his glasses from the bathroom counter. The night before he managed to bend the ear wire mostly back into place, but they still sat a little crooked on his nose. There were worse things.
Bones chittered in his ear, bouncing around in his conscience at the prospect of going out. Mason chuckled, still amazed at how Bones had changed since the had come to Troutdale. It was hard to believe it had only been a couple of weeks.
Shoving his phone into his pocket, Mason picked up his keys off the counter, just as someone knocked on the door. Who the hell? He glanced at the clock. Seven-thirty. Nobody in their right mind got up that early on the weekend, let alone started knocking on other people’s doors.
“Just a minute,” he called, taking a quick appraisal of the living room. The place was a disaster. He would just have to keep whoever it was outside. Which would be fine, because he was heading to his car anyway. With a sigh, he opened the door.
Bones did a back flip in Mason’s thoughts and then reared up, just beneath Mason’s skin. He was ready to fight, and it took a second for Mason’s brain to catch up to the woman standing in front of him holding a clear casserole dish just like the one he had broken the night before. Stacked on top were two packages of Oreos.
Mason gaped at her, and Emma pushed a nervous smile to her lips. She hadn’t expected a particularly warm greeting, but the way his eyes glowed surprised her. Bones was on the defensive. Protecting his human from the bear. She couldn’t deny the validity of it. Not after everything she had done and everything Mason and Bones
had gone through. Emma hoisted the casserole dish higher. “I come in peace?”
“Emma.” Mason’s voice caught on the second syllable, and he cleared his throat. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk.”
Mason chewed on his bottom lip, looking between her and the Oreos. She thought she might see a flicker of amusement in his eyes, but it was hard to tell with Bones so close to the surface.
“We talked last night.”
Emma shook her head. “You talked last night.”
Sighing, Mason opened the door further and stepped to the side. “Do you want to come in?”
“Only if it is okay with you.”
Mason took the casserole dish out of her hands. “Just because things ended poorly doesn’t mean I forgot how to be a gentleman. Come in.”
With a deep breath, Emma stepped over the threshold. It felt like walking into his house for the first time, with an entirely new set of eyes. Even with the intimacy they had shared, she felt like a guest. As Mason set the dish and Oreos on the counter, Emma hovered in the entry. She had lost her roaming privileges, as far as she was concerned. Mason seemed to be on the same page. He leaned back against the counter, an entire room’s distance between them.
Emma gripped her elbows, hugging herself with her arms. “I wanted to start out by saying that I am truly sorry. For everything. I know that an apology won’t fix things, but it needs to be said.”
Mason didn’t say anything. And what did she expect him to say?
So, she continued. “I am sorry about dinner last night. And for the things that Jordan said. Mostly, I am sorry for the things that I didn’t say.”
He shifted his weight, still favoring one foot. The one that had been broken by one of her bears. Emma fought back a grimace. “I know it probably won’t make a difference, but I came here to tell you everything. If you are willing to listen.”
Emma blinked and then met his gaze. His eyes no longer glowed silver. They were green. Mason green. Bright and perfect behind his stupid glasses. A blank expression masked his face, but she could see it in his eyes. He hadn’t completely given up on her.
He straightened, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Can you tell me over breakfast? I’m starving.”
A relieved giggle fell from Emma’s lips. “Yes. Breakfast would be wonderful.”
Emma drove them to the restaurant in silence. She knew that once she started talking, she wouldn’t be able to stop. And she could hear Mason’s stomach growling from the other seat. Emma kept both hands on the steering wheel, too aware of how he kept his hands clasped together in his lap. She wanted to touch him. Take his hand in hers and never let go of it again.
Which scared her. Even more than giving up her station as alpha and walking away from the Elliot clan. She had never wanted so badly to be with someone as she did with Mason. And her heart ached at the idea that she might have messed it up.
They pulled into the Main Street Diner. Emma turned to look at Mason as she keyed off the car, but he had already opened the door to get out. She sucked in a deep breath. This might be harder than she thought it was going to be. He did wait for her at the door, which he held open. Like a gentleman.
The hostess seated them in a back corner, at Emma’s request, and after she delivered them large glasses of ice water Mason clasped his hands on the table, eyes set on Emma. “Are you going to order anything?”
Emma shook her head. “I’m not hungry.” Mason shrugged, but when the waitress came back, he ordered a chicken fried steak with a side of bacon. And a strawberry milkshake with extra cherries. Emma’s heart contracted, and she smiled weakly.
“So. At least you don’t have to worry about me jumping your bones in the middle of breakfast.” Emma traced a line through the condensation on her water glass.
“Word choice.” He said it completely deadpan, but the corners of his eyes crinkled.
“Right. Bones.” She felt Mal roll his eyes. You said you didn’t mind him.
I said I could get to like him. There is a difference.
“What is he saying?”
The question surprised her, and she looked up from the ice cube she had been staring at. When she didn’t answer right away, Mason continued, “I can see it in your eyes. When you talk to him. Can you see Bones?”
She nodded. “Sometimes.”
“Is it like that with all shifters?”
“It depends on the spirit and their host.”
Mason chewed on his lower lip. “I still have a lot to learn.”
“It isn’t too late to learn. I can still help you.”
He looked down, breaking eye contact. Right.
They didn’t speak again until their food arrived. Emma pulled a cherry off the top of her milkshake despite her claims of not being hungry. She was a sucker for maraschino cherries. Mason focused all his attention on his breakfast, and Emma bit the inside of her cheek. Maybe it would be easier if he wasn’t watching her while she explained everything. Though she didn’t know what it was that made it so hard to tell him everything. It wasn’t like she was revealing some big secret or anything. She only needed to explain why she behaved the way she did. Why she had pushed him away. But where did she start?
“I know it probably doesn’t make a difference at this point, but I really am sorry.”
“There isn’t a lot to be sorry about, if we are honest.”
“I don’t like to hurt people. And I hurt you.”
Mason shrugged and piled a fork full of steak and gravy into his mouth.
“So. Complicated. Why are things complicated in my life?” She sighed, tying the stem of the cherry into a knot with her fingers. “We knew that Mal and I had alpha potential by the time I was five. At first, my parents were unhappy about it. In the Elliot clan, they are pretty picky about succession. The Elliots have been alphas for generations. Back then, it was my dad. When he died, Cheryl stepped into his position. She is the first female alpha in almost a hundred years. No one really questioned it because we were the Elliots. I tried to deny my strength on the basis that I had twin brothers to keep up with.”
Mason still wasn’t looking at her, but he had slowed down on his food, picking at a piece of meat with his knife. So, Emma trudged on. “After my dad died, Cheryl started pushing Brett and Joe to step up. They were teenagers, barely, and they had to figure out their… destiny, I guess. Brett didn’t care, and Joe? Well, he and Ripley had a thing back then. Even though they were secretive about it, I knew. And there was no way that Cheryl would ever let him love a mundane. Which, back then, we thought she was. Even if she turned out to be the padfoot, it didn’t matter because she wasn’t a bear. So, Joe was not going to be alpha.”
“Which left you.”
“Yes.” Even if he wasn’t watching her, Mason was still paying attention.
“Two years after my dad died, we adopted Jordan.”
Mason tensed visibly. “We became friends quickly. And Cheryl liked him. She watched us grow together. Close, and old enough to be beyond brother and sister. My brothers became more vocal about not wanting alpha, and Cheryl wasn’t getting any younger. So, she started making plans. When we were sixteen, she drew up plans for an arranged marriage. We were young, so we didn’t think much about it. It couldn’t be that bad. We were friends. He was attractive.” Emma cringed at the statement, but there was no point in sugar coating things. She had come here to tell him everything.
“We didn’t actually start dating until we were twenty. I am sure Cheryl hoped with as close as we were, that we would be natural mates. It only took a couple of years for us to determine otherwise. But we had moved in with each other, and it kept Cheryl happy. Eventually, we decided that we couldn’t be romantically involved. I moved into the second bedroom. We stayed friends, and we were better that way. Are better that way. We didn’t tell Cheryl. There had been some clan drama. I had just started working with Cyn at the bakery and Cheryl already wasn’t thrilled with that. Cyn
is mundane.”
“And she has no idea what you are.” Mason pushed his plate to the edge of the table, half finished.
“She can’t. The Shadow Sisterhood doesn’t allow it.”
He nodded.
Emma picked the second cherry off her milkshake. That pretty much covered the beginning, or at least what started everything. How much detail did she need to add? No. She couldn’t think like that. Everything. He wanted everything. She needed to give him everything. Not only for him, but for herself. Emma needed to come to terms with everything, too.
“About a year ago, things really started going downhill with Cheryl. It became clear that I was going to have to push her out, earlier than anyone had thought would be necessary and definitely sooner than we had planned. About a month ago, Brett was bitten by a rabid wolf.”
She explained about the death order. Joe getting kicked out of the clan. Cheryl dropping the wedding announcement. Jordan and Emma breaking up and Cheryl throwing Emma under the bus. Emma challenging Cheryl the weekend after she met Mason.
He listened to everything in silence. Nodding occasionally, holding eye contact. No questions. The waitress came back at some point and removed the dishes from Mason’s breakfast. Emma didn’t know when it happened. Her milkshake stood forgotten, the dollop of whipped cream sunken and melted. Emma paused in her monologue, and stirred the drink. The only part that hadn’t melted was down at the bottom. When she looked up again, she found Mason’s eyes. Green. Glowing. Open. The mask he had worn over his face for the last hour nearly gone.
