by Rick Riordan
The three-bodied man winked. ‘I make it my business to keep informed, darlin.’ Everybody pops into the ranch from time to time. Everyone needs something from ole Geryon. Now, Mr di Angelo, put that ugly sword away before I have Eurytion take it from you.’
Eurytion sighed, but he hefted his spiked club. At his feet, Orthus growled.
Nico hesitated. He looked thinner and paler than he had in the Iris-messages. I wondered if he’d eaten in the last week. His black clothes were dusty from travelling in the Labyrinth, and his dark eyes were full of hate. He was too young to look so angry. I still remembered him as the cheerful little kid who played with Mythomagic cards.
Reluctantly, he sheathed his sword. ‘If you come near me, Percy, I’ll summon help. You don’t want to meet my helpers, I promise.’
‘I believe you,’ I said.
Geryon patted Nico’s shoulder. ‘There, we’ve all made nice. Now come along, folks. I want to give you a tour of the ranch.’
Geryon had a trolley thing – like one of those kiddie trains that take you around zoos. It was painted black and white in a cowhide pattern. The driver’s car had a set of longhorns stuck to the hood, and the horn sounded like a cowbell.1 figured maybe this was how he tortured people. He embarrassed them to death, riding around in the moo-mobile.
Nico sat in the very back, probably so he could keep an eye on us. Eurytion crawled in next to him with his spiked club and pulled his cowboy hat over his eyes like he was going to take a nap. Orthus jumped in the front seat next to Geryon and began barking happily in two-part harmony.
Annabeth, Tyson, Grover and I took the middle two cars.
‘We have a huge operation!’ Geryon boasted as the moo-mobile lurched forward. ‘Horses and cattle mostly, but all sorts of exotic varieties, too.’
We came over a hill, and Annabeth gasped. ‘Hippalek-tryons? I thought they were extinct!’
At the bottom of the hill was a fenced-in pasture with a dozen of the weirdest animals I’d ever seen. Each had the front half of a horse and the back half of a rooster. Their rear feet were huge yellow claws. They had feathery tails and red wings. As I watched, two of them got in a fight over a pile of seed. They reared up on their back legs and whinnied and flapped their wings at each other until the smaller one galloped away, its rear bird-legs putting a little hop in its step.
‘Rooster ponies,’ Tyson said in amazement. ‘Do they lay eggs?’
‘Once a year!’ Geryon grinned in the rearview mirror. ‘Very much in demand for omelettes!’
‘That’s horrible!’ Annabeth said. ‘They must be an endangered species!’
Geryon waved his hand. ‘Gold is gold, darling. And you haven’t tasted the omelettes.’
‘That’s not right,’ Grover murmured, but Geryon just kept narrating the tour.
‘Now, over here,’ he said, ‘we have our fire-breathing horses, which you may have seen on your way in. They’re bred for war, naturally.’
‘What war?’ I asked.
Geryon grinned slyly. ‘Oh, whichever one comes along. And over yonder, of course, are our prize red cows.’
Sure enough, hundreds of the cherry-coloured cattle were grazing the side of a hill.
‘So many,’ Grover said.
‘Yes, well, Apollo is too busy to see to them,’ Geryon explained, ‘so he subcontracts to us. We breed them vigorously because there’s such a demand.’
‘For what?’ I asked.
Geryon raised an eyebrow. ‘Meat, of course! Armies have to eat.’
‘You kill the sacred cows of the sun god for hamburger meat?’ Grover said. ‘That’s against the ancient laws!’
‘Oh, don’t get so worked up, satyr. They’re just animals.’
‘Just animals!’
‘Yes, and if Apollo cared, I’m sure he would tell us.’
‘If he knew,’ I muttered.
Nico sat forward. ‘I don’t care about any of this, Geryon. We had business to discuss, and this wasn’t it!’
‘All in good time, Mr di Angelo. Look over here: some of my exotic game.’
The next field was ringed in barbed wire. The whole area was crawling with giant scorpions.
‘Triple G Ranch,’ I said, suddenly remembering. ‘Your mark was on the crates at camp. Quintus got his scorpions from you.’
‘Quintus…,’ Geryon mused. ‘Short grey hair, muscular, swordsman?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Never heard of him,’ Geryon said. ‘Now, over here are my prize stables! You must see them.’
I didn’t need to see them, because as soon as we got within three hundred metres I started to smell them. Near the banks of a green river was a horse corral the size of a football field. Stables lined one side of it. About a hundred horses were milling around in the muck – and when I say muck, I mean horse poop. It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen, like a poop blizzard had come through and dumped a metre-deep pile of the stuff overnight. The horses were really gross from wading through it, and the stables were just as bad. It reeked like you would not believe – worse than the garbage boats on the East River.
Even Nico gagged. ‘What is that?’
‘My stables!’ Geryon said. ‘Well, actually they belong to Aegeas, but we watch over them for a small monthly fee. Aren’t they lovely?’
‘They’re disgusting!’ Annabeth said.
‘Lots of poop,’ Tyson observed.
‘How can you keep animals like that?’ Grover cried.
‘Y’all gettin’ on my nerves,’ Geryon said. ‘These are flesh-eating horses, see? They like these conditions.’
‘Plus, you’re too cheap to have them cleaned,’ Eurytion mumbled from under his hat.
‘Quiet!’ Geryon snapped. ‘All right, perhaps the stables are a bit challenging to clean. Perhaps they do make me nauseous when the wind blows the wrong way. But so what? My clients still pay me well.’
‘What clients?’ I demanded.
‘Oh, you’d be surprised how many people will pay for a flesh-eating horse. They make great garbage disposals. Wonderful way to terrify your enemies. Great at birthday parties! We rent them out all the time.
‘You’re a monster,’ Annabeth decided.
Geryon stopped the moo-mobile and turned to look at her. ‘What gave it away? Was it the three bodies?’
‘You have to let these animals go,’ Grover said. ‘It’s not right!’
‘And the clients you keep talking about,’ Annabeth said. ‘You work for Kronos, don’t you? You’re supplying his army with horses, food, whatever they need.’
Geryon shrugged, which was very weird since he had three sets of shoulders. It looked like he was doing the wave all by himself. ‘I work for anyone with gold, young lady. I’m a businessman. And I sell them anything I have to offer.’
He climbed out of the moo-mobile and strolled towards the stables as if enjoying the fresh air. It would’ve been a nice view, with the river and the trees and hills and all, except for the quagmire of horse muck.
Nico got out of the back car and stormed over to Geryon. The cowherd Eurytion wasn’t as sleepy as he looked. He hefted his club and walked after Nico.
‘I came here for business, Geryon,’ Nico said. ‘And you haven’t answered me.’
‘Mmm.’ Geryon examined a cactus. His left arm reached over and scratched his middle chest. ‘Yes, you’ll get a deal, all right.’
‘My ghost told me you could help. He said you could guide us to the soul we need.’
‘Wait a second,’ I said. ‘I thought I was the soul you wanted.’
Nico looked at me like I was crazy. ‘You? Why would I want you? Bianca’s soul is worth a thousand of yours! Now, can you help me, Geryon, or not?’
‘Oh, I imagine I could,’ the rancher said. ‘Your ghost friend, by the way, where is he?’
Nico looked uneasy. ‘He can’t form in broad daylight. It’s hard for him. But he’s around somewhere.’
Geryon smiled. ‘I’m sure. Minos likes to
disappear when things get… difficult.’
‘Minos?’ I remembered the man I’d seen in my dreams, with the golden crown, the pointed beard, and the cruel eyes. ‘You mean that evil king? That’s the ghost who’s been giving you advice?’
‘It’s none of your business, Percy!’ Nico turned back to Geryon. ‘And what do you mean about things getting difficult?’
The three-bodied man sighed. ‘Well, you see, Nico – can I call you Nico?’
‘No.’
‘You see, Nico, Luke Castellan is offering very good money for half-bloods. Especially powerful half-bloods. And I’m sure when he learns your little secret, who you really are, he’ll pay very, very well indeed.’
Nico drew his sword, but Eurytion knocked it out of his hand. Before I could get up, Orthus pounced on my chest and growled, his faces barely centimetres away from mine.
‘I would stay in the car, all of you,’ Geryon warned. ‘Or Orthus will tear Mr Jackson’s throat out. Now, Eurytion, if you would be so kind, secure Nico.’
The cowherd spat into the grass. ‘Do I have to?’
‘Yes, you fool!’
Eurytion looked bored, but he wrapped one huge arm around Nico and lifted him up like a wrestler.
‘Pick up the sword, too,’ Geryon said with distaste. ‘There’s nothing I hate worse than Stygian iron.’
Eurytion picked up the sword, careful not to touch the blade.
‘Now,’ Geryon said cheerfully, ‘we’ve had the tour. Let’s go back to the lodge, have some lunch, and send an Iris-message to our friends in the Titan army.’
‘You fiend!’ Annabeth cried.
Geryon smiled at her. ‘Don’t worry, my dear. Once I’ve delivered Mr di Angelo, you and your party can go. I don’t interfere with quests. Besides, I’ve been paid well to give you safe passage, which does not, I’m afraid, include Mr di Angelo.’
‘Paid by whom?’ Annabeth said. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Never you mind, darlin.’ Let’s be off, shall we?’
‘Wait!’ I said, and Orthus growled. I stayed perfectly still so he wouldn’t tear my throat out. ‘Geryon, you said you’re a businessman. Make me a deal.’
Geryon narrowed his eyes. ‘What sort of deal? Do you have gold?’
‘I’ve got something better. Barter.’
‘But, Mr Jackson, you’ve got nothing.’
‘You could have him clean the stables,’ Eurytion suggested innocently.
‘I’ll do it!’ I said. ‘If I fail, you get all of us. You can trade us all to Luke for gold.’
‘Assuming the horses don’t eat you,’ Geryon observed.
‘Either way, you get my friends,’ I said. ‘But, if I succeed, you’ve got to let all of us go, including Nico.’
‘No!’ Nico screamed. ‘Don’t do me any favours, Percy. I don’t want your help!’
Geryon chuckled. ‘Percy Jackson, those stables haven’t been cleaned in a thousand years… though it’s true I might be able to sell more stable space if all that poop was cleared away.’
‘So what have you got to lose?’
The rancher hesitated. ‘All right, I’ll accept your offer, but you have to get it done by sunset. If you fail, your friends get sold, and I get rich.’
‘Deal.’
He nodded. ‘I’m going to take your friends with me, back to the lodge. We’ll wait for you there.’
Eurytion gave me a funny look. It might have been sympathy. He whistled, and the dog jumped off me and onto Annabeth’s lap. She yelped. I knew Tyson and Grover would never try anything as long as Annabeth was a hostage.
I got out of the car and locked eyes with her.
‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ she said quietly.
‘I hope so, too.’
Geryon got behind the driver’s wheel. Eurytion hauled Nico into the back seat.
‘Sunset,’ Geryon reminded me. ‘No later.’
He laughed at me once more, sounded his cowbell horn, and the moo-mobile rumbled off down the trail.
9 I Scoop Poop
I lost hope when I saw the horses’ teeth.
As I got closer to the fence I held my shirt over my nose to block the smell. One stallion waded through the muck and whinnied angrily at me. He bared his teeth, which were pointed like a bear’s.
I tried to talk to him in my mind. I can do that with most horses.
Hi, I told him. I’m going to clean your stables. Won’t that be great?
Yes! The horse said. Come inside! Eat you! Tasty half-blood!
But I’m Poseidon’s son, I protested. He created horses.
Usually this gets me VIP treatment in the equestrian world, but not this time.
Yes! The horse agreed enthusiastically. Poseidon can come in, too! We will eat you both! Seafood!
Seafood!The other horses chimed in as they waded through the field. Flies were buzzing everywhere, and the heat of the day didn’t make the smell any better. I’d had some idea that I could do this challenge, because I remembered how Hercules had done it. He’d channelled a river into the stables and cleaned them out that way. I figured I could maybe control the water. But if I couldn’t get close to the horses without getting eaten, that was a problem. And the river was downhill from the stables, a lot further away than I’d realized, almost a kilometre. The problem of the poop looked a lot bigger up close. I picked up a rusted shovel and experimentally scooped some away from the fence line. Great. Only four billion shovelfuls to go.
The sun was already sinking. I had a few hours at best. I decided the river was my only hope. At least it would be easier to think at the riverside than it was here. I set off downhill.
When I got to the river, I found a girl waiting for me. She was wearing jeans and a green T-shirt and her long brown hair was braided with river grass. She had a stern look on her face. Her arms were crossed.
‘Oh no you don’t,’ she said.
I stared at her. ‘Are you a naiad?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Of course!’
‘But you speak English. And you’re out of the water.’
‘What, you don’t think we can act human if we want to?’
I’d never thought about it. I felt kind of stupid, though, because I’d seen plenty of naiads at camp, and they’d never done much more than giggle and wave at me from the bottom of the canoe lake.
‘Look,’ I said, ‘I just came to ask –’
‘I know who you are,’ she said. ‘And I know what you want. And the answer is no! I’m not going to have my river used again to clean that filthy stable.’
‘But –’
‘Oh, save it, sea boy. You ocean-god types always think you’re soooo much more important than some little river, don’t you? Well let me tell you, this naiad is not going to be pushed around just because your daddy is Poseidon. This is freshwater territory, mister. The last guy who asked me this favour – oh, he was way better-looking than you, by the way – he convinced me, and that was the worst mistake I’ve ever made! Do you have any idea what all that horse manure does to my ecosystem? Do I look like a sewage-treatment plant to you? My fish will die. I’ll never get the muck out of my plants. I’ll be sick for years. NO THANK YOU!’
The way she talked reminded me of my mortal friend, Rachel Elizabeth Dare – kind of like she was punching me with words. I couldn’t blame the naiad. Now that I thought about it, I’d be pretty mad if somebody dumped two thousand tons of manure in my home. But still…
‘My friends are in danger,’ I told her.
‘Well, that’s too bad! But it’s not my problem. And you’re not going to ruin my river.’
She looked like she was ready for a fight. Her fists were balled, but I thought I heard a little quaver in her voice. Suddenly I realized that, despite her angry attitude, she was afraid of me. She probably thought I was going to fight her for control of the river, and she was worried she would lose.
The thought made me sad. I felt like a bully, a son of Poseidon throwing his weig
ht around.
I sat down on a tree stump. ‘Okay, you win.’
The naiad looked surprised. ‘Really?’
‘I’m not going to fight you. It’s your river.’
She relaxed her shoulders. ‘Oh. Oh, good. I mean – good thing for you!’
‘But my friends and I are going to get sold to the Titans if I don’t clean those stables by sunset. And I don’t know how.’
The river gurgled along cheerfully. A snake slid through the water and ducked its head under. Finally the naiad sighed.
‘I’ll tell you a secret, son of the sea god. Scoop up some dirt.’
‘What?’
‘You heard me.’
I crouched down and scooped up a handful of Texas dirt. It was dry and black and spotted with tiny clumps of white rock… No, something besides rock.
‘Those are shells,’ the naiad said. ‘Petrified seashells. Millions of years ago, even before the time of the gods, when only Gaia and Ouranos reigned, this land was under water. It was part of the sea.’
Suddenly I saw what she meant. There were little pieces of ancient sea urchins in my hand, mollusc shells. Even the limestone rocks had impressions of seashells embedded in them.
‘Okay,’ I said. ‘What good does that do me?’
‘You’re not so different from me, demigod. Even when I’m out of the water, the water is within me. It is my life source.’ She stepped back, put her feet in the river, and smiled. ‘I hope you find a way to rescue your friends.’
And with that she turned to liquid and melted into the river.
The sun was touching the hills when I got back to the stables. Somebody must’ve come by and fed the horses, because they were tearing into huge animal carcasses. I couldn’t tell what kind of animal, and I really didn’t want to know. If it was possible for the stables to get more disgusting, fifty horses tearing into raw meat did it.
Seafood! one thought when he saw me. Come in! We’re still hungry.
What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t use the river. And the fact that this place had been underwater a million years ago didn’t exactly help me now. I looked at the little calcified seashell in my palm, then at the huge mountain of dung.
Frustrated, I threw the shell into the poop. I was about to turn my back on the horses when I heard a sound.
