by M. R. Forbes
"You have forever until tomorrow, but not forever until the end."
Forever to do what? The attack had killed a number of dignitaries from around the globe and had left the plans for the Dove's launch in jeopardy. That he had even noticed the event meant something to him, and he knew it was important.
Reggie moved through a series of punches and kicks. He felt the coldness of his nightmares more acutely tonight, a chill in his soul that he couldn't push away. The voice had told him that he would know when the time had come, and he knew at that moment that it had.
It was time for him to make a decision. Either he was crazy, and all of this was nothing more than a delusion that was playing out in his mind, or he was inexplicably sane, and something very, very bad was going to happen. Something that he was somehow supposed to prevent.
It would have been easy to accept that he was delusional. It would have made sense. He could go back to bed, pull the sheets up, close his eyes, and wait for the morning. He could take his meds and sit and stare, and live with the voice and the nightmares until he finally grew old enough to die.
That was what he wanted to do. He was afraid of the other option. Afraid of the hurt and the loss and the pain, and what it meant to the world if his nightmares were real. He was afraid of the responsibility. He was also afraid of his role. Was he supposed to prevent the AIT from stopping the launch, or was he expected to help them finish the job?
"Find her."
It was too vague. By design? Why?
He looked over at his bed. He was crazy. He had to be. He was in a mental hospital, wasn't he? He should lie down and try to forget.
He looked back at the wall. He traced the cracks and the chips against the starkness of the white background. If he did nothing then, in the end, there would be nothing. Forever until tomorrow. What did that mean?
Tomorrow was almost here, and he had a decision to make. Crazy or not?
He found his clothes on the floor, gathered in a pile at the foot of the bed. He picked them up and put them on, and then walked over to the door and turned the latch. He wasn't violent, so there was no reason to keep him locked in. He slipped out into the hallway before turning around and looking back at the bed again.
It all felt too real to risk that it wasn't. If he were crazy, if he were delusional, then someone would catch up to him, stop him, and bring him back. He hoped it would happen. He wanted it to happen because at least then he would know for sure.
Until then, he was going to pretend he wasn't crazy and see where that road led.
Anywhere was better than here.
7
Reggie passed through the corridors of the hospital, heading toward the elevators at the end of the hallway.
"Reggie?" one of the nurses said, noticing him from her station off to the left.
He heard her, but didn't look and didn't slow.
"Reggie," she said again, louder this time.
"I'm leaving," he replied.
"What do you mean? Yu can't just leave."
He didn't answer again. He was close to the elevators. He heard a buzz as the nurse hit the button to lock them down.
"Security, can you come up to seven?" she said.
He turned away from the elevators, to the emergency stairs. They couldn't be secured, for obvious reasons.
"You can't keep me here," he said. "Not if I don't want to be here."
The nurse ran over and positioned herself in front of him. She was a small, round thing. He blinked a few times, his mind picturing her evaporating behind a wall of flame.
"I need to go," he said, coming to a stop. "It's important."
They were trying to stop him. Did that mean he was crazy, as he suspected?
"Why?"
"People will die if I don't."
"How do you know that?"
"The dreams."
"Have you taken your meds?"
"Yes. You're going to die, if you don't let me go."
She looked afraid of him then. She stepped back to get out of his reach. "Are you going to hurt me?"
"No. Not me. XENO-1. It was one ship. It isn't the only ship."
"What are you talking about?"
"They'll come. They'll kill us all."
She looked even more afraid. The stairwell door opened behind her and two security guards entered the hallway. They were big, but not in great shape.
"Reggie?" one of them said. Reggie remembered his name was Jeff. "Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving," he replied.
"He thinks there are aliens coming to get the XENO-1," the nurse said. "He told me we're all going to die."
Jeff didn't laugh. They were used to crazy talk. "It's okay, Reggie," he said. "It's the nightmares. Just a dream, my friend." He was smiling as he approached. "Why don't we head over to the cafeteria? We can get you a cookie and some milk. My grandmother always recommended it for nightmares, and it helped me."
Reggie didn't move. If he were crazy, he should just let them take him, shouldn't he? No. That wouldn't prove anything.
He took a step back. "I need to leave. You can't stop me."
"Look, Reggie, I've seen you exercise in your room at night, and I know you're in good shape, but if I have to stop you, I will."
"No, you won't," Reggie said. "Please, let me go. I don't want to hurt you."
Jeff looked sideways at his partner, who was slowly trying to circle behind Reggie. "We don't want to hurt you either, Reg. Come on, we'll have a drink and then you can try to get some rest."
Reggie looked at the nurse, and then at Jeff. He lowered his head. "Yeah. Maybe you're right," he said softly. "I'm just not feeling like myself tonight, I guess."
"That's okay, Reggie. It happens to the best of us." Jeff tilted his head, motioning to the other guard.
Reggie sighed. He didn't want to hurt anybody. Why wouldn't they just let him leave?
The guard reached for him. He came alive, shifting his weight as he caught the hand, pulling the guard off-balance before bringing his arm back and hitting him hard in the face with his elbow. The guard grunted and fell back, at the same time Jeff tried to wrap him in a subduing grab. Reggie ducked away from it, smacking Jeff's arms aside and punching him hard in the gut, spilling all of the wind from his diaphragm. Jeff doubled over as the nurse stepped aside.
"I'm sorry," Reggie said to her, stepping around the two guards. "Please, just let me leave. I have to find her."
"Find who?" the nurse asked.
"I don't know." He stepped past her, approaching the door.
"Reggie, wait," she said before he reached it. He wasn't sure why, but he turned back. She walked over to him. "There's a storage room on the ground floor. That's where they're keeping all of your personal effects. Everything you had on you when they found you, which wasn't much. Still, if you're going, you might want it."
"Thank you," he said. He hesitated for a few seconds, wondering if he should right before he did. "Am I crazy?"
The nurse smiled. "All of us are crazy, honey. The difference is in the degree. As for you, I'd say you're about average. You never gave me any trouble, so I'm going to miss you."
Reggie looked back at Jeff and the other guard. They were back on their feet, but not about to try again. They didn't get paid enough to be beaten up.
"Thank you," he said.
Then he left.
8
Nobody tried to stop him again as he made his way from the seventh floor to the lobby. He wandered the halls for a few minutes until he found the storage area the nurse told him about. A younger man was sitting behind a small desk, eyes moving left and right as he read something projected onto his glasses.
"Excuse me," Reggie said, getting his attention. The man shook and sat up straight.
"Oh. Jeez, man. You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry. My name is Reggie. I'm leaving. The nurse told me you could give me my things."
The man smiled. "I know who you are. Our famous patient. You've be
en here twenty years, and now you're leaving?"
"Yes."
"Just like that? At three in the morning?"
"I guess so. It's time." He paused. "I didn't know I was famous." For some reason, the comment bothered him.
"Just a figure of speech, man. Everybody in St. Mary's knows you, of course. The rest of the world? I doubt it." He laughed and got to his feet, taking off his glasses and dropping them on the desk. "Give me a sec; I'll get your effects."
"Thank you."
Reggie waited for the man to disappear before picking up the glasses and slipping them on. Immediately he could see a window over his left eye, where a flow of text was sitting. It moved depending on his eye position, allowing him to read seamlessly.
"Initial reports place the death toll at twenty-seven, including Vice President Nelson and the lead emissary from Iran, Sadeq Jannali. Three of the astronauts expected to be on the inaugural crew of the Dove were also injured, and may lose their chance to be part of the historic occasion if plans to proceed with the launch remain in place. Major Katherine Asher, United States Air Force, Ning Zhang, Chinese Space Administration, and Captain Vidal Pathi. United Earth Alliance President Amir-"
"Do you always help yourself to other people's stuff?" the orderly said, returning from the storage area with a small box.
Reggie took the glasses off. The man's return had taken him by surprise, but he refused to show it. "Sorry. It's been a while since I caught up with the outside world." He could still see the list of names in his head. His eyes kept going back to the first of them. Major Katherine Asher. The name itself didn't mean anything to him, but he had felt a stirring in his gut at seeing it. Was she the one he was supposed to find?
"Crazy, right? The attack on the UEA party. I can't imagine why anybody wouldn't want the Dove to fly. It's more than a starship, you know? It's a symbol of unity."
"I know."
The orderly held the box out to him. "It isn't much. We also have donated clothes for people who didn't come in with any, or lost them, or whatever. Follow me."
Reggie took the box from him. It was hardly big enough to hold anything important, and he wondered what could be inside. The box felt empty.
He trailed behind the orderly to a second room. It was filled with all sorts of clothes, organized by type and size.
"Help yourself," the man said.
"Thank you," Reggie replied. He picked up a pair of socks and underwear, an old pair of stained jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweater. He also found a pair of shoes that weren't too beat up. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.
"You can change back there," the orderly said.
Reggie changed his clothes and came back out.
"You've been in here for twenty years," the orderly said. "The world is pretty different now. Are you sure you want to go out there?"
Reggie tried to remember what the world was like. He couldn't. It didn't matter how much it had changed because he had so little to go on. "Yes."
"Okay, well, be safe." The man held out his hand. Reggie shook it. "Exit is that way."
"Thank you." He took a few steps before pausing and turning back to the orderly. "What city am I in?"
"St. Louis, Missouri."
"The launch party. Where was that?"
"New York, why?"
"Just curious. Thank you for your help."
"Yeah. Okay. See you, Reggie."
Reggie started walking again, down the long corridor leading to the exit. It was early morning, and not much was happening as he stepped outside and onto the sidewalk of a city street. He looked around, taking in the towers of steel and glass and the lights of advertisements hanging on boards arranged along the street. Lasers projected red or green light to help direct traffic while a single vehicle cruised by, its engine emitting a soft hum. The windows were heavily tinted, but there didn't appear to be anyone inside.
Money. He knew he would need some to get from Chicago to New York. He tried to remember his geography. For some reason, he had a vague notion of the two cities, and at the same time, he felt as though they weren't very familiar to him. Maybe he had grown up somewhere else.
He remembered the box then. It was taped closed, and he worked to tear it off and get it open. At first, he thought it was empty until he found a small card wedged into the corner. He dug it out with his fingernail and held it up to the light. It was five centimeters square, its use and purpose unclear to him.
Twenty years, and this was all that he owned?
Was he crazy? He still wasn't sure. Hearing voices was crazy. Thinking there was a connection between the attack on the UEA party and his own sudden motivation certainly pointed toward crazy. His lack of fear and a sense of calm confidence suggested otherwise.
Then again, wasn't the whole crux of insanity not knowing that you were insane?
He looked up and down the street again, trying to decide which direction to go. He had thought he might feel overwhelmed to be out of the hospital. He didn't. He felt a sense of purpose. After all of these years, he finally had a reason. A goal.
If that was crazy, he preferred it to the alternative.
Major Katherine Asher. The name meant something. He didn't know what.
He was going to find out.
9
"Kathy? Can you hear me? It's Michael. Kathy?"
Katherine didn't open her eyes. She could hear the voice, but she didn't want to respond to it. The beeps and tones of medical equipment surrounded it, and she had a feeling she knew what it meant.
She remembered being shot. She remembered the pain in her gut even though she couldn't feel it at the moment, the drugs keeping it at bay. She remembered the warm slick of blood on her fingers from the bullet that grazed her head.
What had the doctor said to her again?
Find Mitchell.
What did that mean?
Who was Mitchell?
Why had she said that?
"Kathy? I know you're awake. The machines don't lie."
Michael's voice irritated her. She refused to open her eyes. She didn't want to be a good little soldier and face the truth she knew was ahead of her.
She was injured, and out of the program.
Ever since they had announced the construction of the Dove, she had done nothing but dream of being on its first mission. Now it would never be more than a dream.
"Kathy," Michael said again.
"Leave me alone," Katherine whispered. She still didn't open her eyes.
"Come on, Kathy. For me?"
"No. I don't want to know."
"You're afraid you're out of the program, aren't you?" Yousefi said.
His voice made her stop pouting. She looked at him. "Sir?"
He was alive and in one piece. "You saved a lot of lives, Major," he said. "You're a hero. If the Dove has to wait for you, it will."
"Sir. How is your wife?"
Yousefi smiled. "She is well. We were lucky. So many weren't, Katherine. The AIT hit us hard, and where we least expected it."
"I thought the AIT were just a bunch of radical quacks."
"So did the UEA, which is why they caught us off-guard."
Katherine tried to sit up. She felt a pull at her side.
"Don't, Major. Give the patch a chance to do its work. Forty-eight hours at least."
"Patch?"
"The latest military medical treatment out of the XENO research labs. A surgeon pulled the bullet fragments. The patch will heal the wound in a couple of days."
"Awesome," Michael said.
Katherine looked at him. "Michael. How are you?"
"Shaken," he replied. "Having nightmares. They've already set me up with a therapist. I survived without getting shot, thanks to you. Right now, that's what I'm focusing on. Anything else leaves me paralyzed."
"I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known."
"Did they ID the attackers?"
"Yes," Yousefi said. "Former military, all of them.
Lured into the AIT, though we aren't sure how. Initial intelligence is that there is money involved. A lot of it. Whoever is backing the group has deep pockets." He shrugged. "That's for Security to figure out. Your job is to rest and get better."
"Is the launch still happening?"
Yousefi didn't answer right away.
"Sir?"
"I don't know." He sighed. "Member nation governments are pushing the UEA to cancel the launch until we can be sure there is no credible outside threat to either the Dove or to the people involved in the program."
"And how are they supposed to do that?" Katherine asked, starting to feel angry. "They would be giving the AIT exactly what they want."
"I know. I've heard they're working around the clock on it, but anything more than that is beyond my, or your, clearance. I've already told you more than I should have, but in light of what you did, I think you deserve it. I also recommended that the Potus award you with a Purple Heart."
"Do you think he'll listen to you?"
"Because I'm Iranian? I'm still a ranking officer of the UEA. That's supposed to mean something. It would be easier if the alliance would settle on a recognition system."
"They've only had ten years," Michael said sarcastically.
"Unifying so many countries takes time," Yousefi said. "And it certainly isn't a priority."
Someone knocked on the door. Katherine looked over at the doctor.
"I'm glad to see you're awake," he said. He was an older man with a bald head and a large nose. "How are you feeling?"
"Annoyed," Katherine replied.
"Are these two bothering you?"
"Laying here is bothering me."
The doctor approached on the opposite side of the bed, tapping on the screens behind her. "I'm Doctor Villanueva, but the way. Vitals are good. You were lucky the bullets didn't hit anything important. You should be out within three or four days."
"You could use a little work on your bedside manner," Katherine said.
