by E. L. Todd
Somewhere Far Away
Book Thirty-Three The Forever and Ever Series
E. L. Todd
Chapter One
Scarlet
Sean ate anything I made and only complimented my cooking. To this day, I wasn’t sure what his favorite dinner was. Every time I asked, he said he loved everything I made. He never wanted to hurt my feelings or make me feel anything less than perfect.
I loved him for that.
Tonight, I made steak, greens, and potatoes. It was a manly dinner so I assumed he liked it more than the other things I made, not that I would ever know if that was true.
After I took the potatoes out of the oven, I eyed the time. He should have been home by now. He said he was going to stop by Mega Shake to see Roland, but I knew he would only eat a few fries. He stuck to his diet pretty well and I never had to worry about his health.
If he were going to be late he would have called. If he decided to spend more time with Roland, he would have at least sent me a quick text message. It was unlike him not to say anything at all. I decided to call him.
It rang until it went to voicemail.
That’s strange.
I put the phone down and stared at it on the counter. My immediate reaction was to panic but I kept myself calm. There was an obvious reason he wasn’t answering his phone. Maybe he accidentally turned it on silent. Or maybe he and Roland were having a serious conversation and he didn’t want to be interrupted. But that still seemed unlikely.
The phone rang, and my body immediately relaxed in relief. I grabbed it and answered it without looking at the name on the screen, already knowing exactly who it was. He would give me a string of apologies and beg me to forgive him because he missed one phone call in twenty years. “I was getting worried.”
“Mom?” Roland’s terrified voice came over the phone. He sounded weak and hollow, like he was bleeding from the inside. He breathed hard into the phone like he’d just been running for a week straight.
The mama bear inside me came out, and I went into defensive mode. “Roland, are you alright?”
“I’m fine…it’s Dad.”
I was standing in the kitchen but I suddenly lost sight of my surroundings. My heart stopped beating, but adrenaline spiked in my blood at the same time. My hand gripped the phone and my lungs froze in mid-breath. “What is it, Ro? Is your father okay?”
“No…” He started to cry. He sobbed into the phone. It was a sound I hadn’t heard since he was five years old. “These guys jumped me and Dad stepped in…he got stabbed.”
My hand immediate gripped the counter as I steadied myself. My knees felt weak like they might collapse underneath me. I didn’t speak or breathe into the phone. I didn’t say anything at all, unable to handle the shock my body was absorbing at an alarming rate.
Sean had been stabbed?
My husband was stabbed?
My voice came out surprisingly calm. When it came to my children, I was always a rock. I had to be strong for them because I was all they had left right now. “Is he okay?”
He continued to cry. “I don’t know…when I got to the hospital he was already in surgery. They haven’t told me anything. I have no idea what’s going on.”
My heart pounded in my chest like a drum. It beat against my rib cage continuously, making me feel alive and dead at the same time. “What hospital?”
“New York Medical Center.” His voice cracked. “Mom, I’m sorry. It’s my fault. He was trying to protect me…”
“It’s not your fault, honey.” How did I continue to sound so calm? My hands were shaking uncontrollably. “Don’t say that again.”
Roland’s sobs echoed over the phone.
“I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon.”
“Hurry.”
***
I gripped the steering wheel tightly so I wouldn’t lose control of the car. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking and I couldn’t feel my fingers at this point. I drove as fast as I could. I didn’t obey the speed laws like I did every other day of my life. The world I used to know shattered in light of what happened.
My world had been turned upside down.
I called the first person that came to mind. My brother.
“Hey, sis. What’s up?” His upbeat personality told me he didn’t have a clue what was going on.
I kept my breathing steady and tried not to cry. I’d managed to keep myself together so far and I had to keep pushing on. “Ryan…” I just said his name so he would understand that I was barely holding on.
His attitude completely changed. “Scarlet, what’s wrong?”
My eyes bubbled with tears but I blinked them back. “Sean…he’s been stabbed. He got in a knife fight to protect Roland…” It was all a blur. I still didn’t understand what happened. “He’s in surgery.” My brother always made me feel better but I had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to help me this time.
“Fuck.” His voice came out quiet. “Shit…” He was probably running his fingers through his hair and pacing the room. “Scarlet, hang up and drive safely. You shouldn’t be talking to me right now.”
I took a deep breath and kept my hold on the steering wheel.
“I’m going to call everyone else. I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay.” By a miracle, I stopped myself from sobbing.
“I’ll see you soon. Just concentrate on driving.” He hung up.
I started to count in my head so I wouldn’t think about anything else. But of course, Sean’s face was always in my mind.
***
When I got to the hospital it was chaos.
Ryan was talking to the head nurse, practically yelling at her. “I need an update right this second, not in five minutes.” He slammed his fist down. “Do you have any idea who he is?”
The nurse gave him a bored look. “Sir, I’ll give you an update as soon as I have one.”
Ryan continued to argue.
My family was in the waiting room, pacing back and forth or sitting down with their faces covered with their palms. They were all distraught, just as heartbroken as I was.
“Mom!” Skye left her seat and sprinted at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy like she’d been crying for an hour straight. She ran into my arms and gripped me tightly. “Mom…”
My arms enclosed around her, and I rested my hand on the back of her head. Her soft hair moved against my skin. She sobbed into my chest, broken and destroyed. “I’m here…” I looked past her and saw Mike pacing back and forth. His arms were crossed over his chest and they shook slightly.
“I’m so scared…”
I wanted to break down and fall apart. I didn’t have any strength to hold back the emotion that was gripping me by the throat. My hands stopped shaking only because I used all my strength to stop them. I had to be strong for my two children. They were grown adults but they were terrified. I had to be calm for them. If not, they wouldn’t have anyone else. “I know, sweetheart. But it’ll be all right. Your father is a strong man. He’ll pull through.”
“Roland said he was stabbed in the back…”
I cringed at her words. “He’ll make it, Skye. I know him better than anyone. He’ll come back to us.” I tried to believe my own words but I was failing.
“I can’t lose my dad…” She pulled away from me with tear-stained cheeks. “I can’t.”
The idea of spending the rest of my life without him almost made me have a panic attack. I held the hysteria behind my eyes and stared at my daughter with the strength my husband always possessed. I learned so much from him in our marriage, and strength always kept everyone calm. “You won’t.” I rubbed her shoulder and gave her a look of encouragement. “He’ll be okay.”
“How do
you know?” She sniffed loudly then wiped her nose.
“I just do.”
Roland came next, just as distraught as his sister. “Mom…” He moved into my side and hugged me. He was much taller and bigger than I was, but he held me just like he used to as a little boy. Skye stayed on my other side, and I used both of my arms to circle them. “We haven’t heard anything from the doctor yet.”
“I’m sure we’ll hear something soon.” I kissed Roland’s forehead. “Your father will be okay. Just breathe.”
“It’s all my fault,” he whispered. “He was making sure I was okay when they stabbed him in the back…”
Fire leapt inside me, and I wish I had a gun and a location for the motherfucker who hurt my husband. I was a peaceful person, but if someone touched my family I was an assassin. “He’ll get what’s coming to him, Roland. What goes around comes back around.”
“I hope so,” he whispered. “The knife went in so deep…I only saw the handle.”
My heart wouldn’t slow down. I was panicking behind my eyes. “Your father can recover from anything. I know him.”
“He wanted me to tell you something…”
I held my breath because I didn’t want to hear it.
Roland cleared his breath. “He said his soul will wait for yours on the other side…” He watched my face as he spoke. “That was the last thing he said.”
My heart stopped beating, and instead of feeling the tears form in my eyes I felt them start deep in my chest. My soul broke in two and I felt crushed under my grief. “Your father is so dramatic…” I squeezed them both and led them to a group of chairs in the waiting room.
Every member of my family looked at me with concerned eyes but no one spoke to me. They gave me the space I needed to take care of my kids. They needed me right now. I couldn’t abandon them and lean on someone else for support.
They sat on either side of me and huddled close to me. Skye leaned her head on my shoulder, and Roland gripped my hand tightly as he stared at the ground. We huddled together like we were sitting in front of a campfire. Skye continued to whimper next to me, her tears till falling. Roland breathed hard like he couldn’t catch his breath.
I consoled both of my children, hiding everything I was feeling deep inside. My entire body felt empty like I lost every drop of blood. My thoughts were scattered and incoherent. A volcano of emotions was erupting inside me, killing me with every passing second.
But I sat there like a statue and remained brave. I might lose my husband forever and I would be forced to spend the rest of my days without the other half of my soul.
But I couldn’t think about that.
I refused to.
***
Hours had passed and we didn’t hear a word.
“Is that a good sign?” Roland whispered to me.
“A very good sign.” That meant Sean was still alive and they were working on him. “Dad will be okay. Have faith.”
Roland still had a skeptical look in his eyes. He saw the scene first hand. He saw Sean get stabbed through the back. He would be scarred forever even if Sean came out of this alive.
Skye continued to grip my arm while she rested her head on my shoulder. Cayson wasn’t there to comfort her and all she had was me.
Mike approached me then kneeled down before me. His eyes said everything he couldn’t say out loud. He told me he was there for me, and if things took a turn for the worse he would be there to take care of me in his brother’s stead.
He didn’t need to tell me any of that. I already knew.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked quietly. “Some coffee?”
“No, thank you,” I whispered.
Grief was written all over his face. “I’m here if you need anything—anything at all.”
“I know, Mike.” I kept my voice strong. “He’ll be okay. I know he will.” I didn’t believe a word I said. But maybe if I said it enough times it would come true.
He nodded. “I’m sure he will be.” His eyes gave away his lie. He wasn’t hopeful either. In fact, he expected the worse.
But neither one of us said that out loud.
***
Ten hours had come and gone and there wasn’t any news.
Roland moved to the seat beside Heath, and they held hands as they whispered quietly together.
Skye fell asleep on the chair. I managed to calm her down by rubbing her back and running my fingers through her hair until she was calm enough to drift off. I hadn’t moved from my spot but my eyes constantly watched the nurses’ station, waiting for someone to look this way.
Everyone else sat in the chairs and remained silent.
Slade sat beside Trinity and gripped her hand tightly. His lips were pressed tightly together and his eyes looked empty. The heartbreak was written all over his face. Trinity cried on and off, blowing her nose into a tissue.
Conrad, just like his father, paced around the room with his arms crossed over his chest. Lexie remained in her seat and watched him with concerned eyes.
Cortland held Monnique’s hand on his thigh and appeared calm, but his true emotion was deep in his eyes. Sean was one of his closest friends and colleagues. Obviously, the blow was devastating.
Ryan seemed worked up most of all. He didn’t hold Janice’s hand and he could hardly sit still for more than a few minutes. When the nurses were silent, he stormed over there and demanded a report on Sean’s condition. Unfortunately, he never got it.
Finally, a nurse headed my way. She wore different colored scrubs than the rest of the nurses, and her facemask was pulled down. “Mrs. Preston?”
My hands started to shake again. Was this good news? Was this bad news? Did I want to know?
Everyone stared at me, desperate to know what she had to say.
“Yes?” I slowly rose to my feet, keeping my back straight and my shoulders square. I managed not to cry in front of everyone in the waiting room. I managed to remain strong for my children. I hoped she would tell me something to make it worthwhile.
“Come with me.”
Was she taking me to him? Was he okay? Obediently, I followed her.
She took me into a side room with a small table and chairs.
I didn’t sit down. All I did was stare at her.
She put her hands on her hips and gave me a look full of sympathy.
No.
Please don’t say it.
I started to breathe hard, my body unable to stay calm.
This couldn’t be happening to me.
“Mrs. Preston, we’ve been working on him for hours…”
“God, no.” I covered my face and felt my tears burn.
“He’s lost a lot of blood and he has severe damage internally. We’ve done what we can to repair the wound but it’s very deep. Just when we stabilize him he starts to code again…go into cardiac arrest.”
Tears fell down my face. “No…”
A pained look came across her features. “We’re doing everything we can. But I wanted to prepare you…”
I covered my face with my palms and felt the moisture stick to my fingers. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would give out. The truth was hitting me hard in the chest and I couldn’t face it. I couldn’t accept it.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “If something changes, I’ll let you know.”
I nodded because I couldn’t say anything.
She stared at the ground, probably to respect my moment of demise.
“Can I have a moment please?”
“Of course.” She walked out and shut the door.
I tried to calm myself down and return my breathing to normal. How could I go out there like this in front of my family? How could I tell them what I just heard?
How could I tell them that Sean was about to die?
***
I couldn’t be in this hospital anymore. I was about to break down and never go back. My body was falling apart piece by piece. I didn’t know who I was anymore. The idea of losing Se
an forever made me hopeless. How could someone take him away from me? How could someone stab him in cold blood like that? How could this happen to us? We were supposed to be together forever. How could I carry on without him?
I left the room and stormed passed the waiting room. I didn’t look at anyone as I moved. All my body knew was to run. How could I look my daughter in the eye and tell her she was about to lose her father? How could I tell my son the same news?
Once I was passed the waiting room I ran. I sprinted down the hall and got through the doors. I pushed past nurses and doctors as I made my way out. Tears were glued to my face and they burned my skin. I needed to get outside under the night sky. I needed space. I needed to breathe.
Once I broke through the doors I stood on the sidewalk. Cars came and went in the roundabout for emergency services. People moved passed me but I didn’t notice them. Somehow I migrated to a bench and plopped down, feeling heavy and empty at the same time.
Then I started to sob.
I sobbed my heart out, feeling myself become swallowed in a thick shadow. My body was numb from pain and my heart started to slow down. It seemed like my body needed to shut down because the pain was too unbearable.
I couldn’t lose Sean.
I was nothing without him. He was everything to me. We made such a beautiful life together. I needed him to come home to me every night. I needed to share my bed with him. Why was he being taken away from me? Why was he wrongly being pulled from this earth?
Our time together was too short. A love like ours didn’t just happen to anyone. It was special and unique. We really were two flowers from the same tree. Our roots came from the same place. How would I go on without him?
Someone sat in the seat beside me, and I felt arms wrap around me.
I didn’t need to look to know who it was.
Ryan stared at me, his face paler than a ghost. He gripped me tightly like I might fall over. “I’m so sorry…” He rested his head against mine. “I’m here, Scarlet. I’m right next to you.”
“He’s not going to make it.” My chest heaved after I said the words. “The nurse said he keeps coding after they stabilize him…he’s not going to make it.”
