by Jaden Skye
“How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to do? Sit back and listen to the half assed police force on the island?”
Cindy saw the veins in Mattheus neck begin to bulge. Carl sounded the way Mattheus had so many times before he’d found his wife’s killer.
Carl turned swiftly to Cindy and Mattheus then, “We need your help. I’ll pay top dollar. Cost means nothing to me.”
Mattheus stood up and ran his hands through his hair. “Carl,” he said, “I know how rotten and lousy this situation is. I wish we could help, but we can’t right now. We’re here on vacation. We need time to ourselves.”
The words weren’t registering, nothing was.
Carl continued vehemently, “The paper said that Kate posted all over Facebook that she just got engaged. That’s nuts. None of us ever met this guy. This was a new relationship. She wouldn’t do something like that without letting us know first.”
“Are you sure about that?” Cindy perked up.
“Of course I’m sure. I knew everything about Kate’s life.”
Tyra looked up at them then, focusing for the first time.
“He did, he’s right. Kate loved Carl tremendously. And he loved her.”
“And I still do,” he cried out.
Mattheus took a deep breath as his jaw clenched. Cindy saw how hard this was for him, too.
“How recently did she meet this guy?” Mattheus asked, beginning to resonate with the rage Carl was feeling.
“It was new,” Carl insisted, “They met online.”
“Lots of good people meet online,” said Cindy, trying to put things into perspective. “Nothing wrong with that.”
“I didn’t say anything was wrong with it,” Carl turned to Cindy full force.
Cindy was struck with how handsome and intense he was and the depth of his feeling for his niece. She wondered if he’d ever married or had a child of his own.
Carl stopped a moment and looked right at her. “I never had a child of my own,” he said, as if hearing her unasked question. “Three bad marriages and no children. What does that add up to?”
Mattheus walked a few steps away, not wanting to hear Carl’s story or get further embroiled.
“Kate was the daughter I never had,” Carl went on. “If she were even thinking of getting engaged she would have told me. This was mostly a long distance relationship. I believe he came to New York a few times and they saw each other in person then. It wasn’t a big deal to her, she never said it was, anyway.”
Tyra began whimpering then. “I had no idea, none,” she managed. Kate never told me a thing about him. Then I see on Facebook that they got engaged.”
“She posted it and then turns up dead? It doesn’t make sense,” Carl stamped his foot on the ground.
“Nothing makes sense when someone dies,” Mattheus intervened, “absolutely nothing. Slowly the pieces come together. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes work. I wish we could help you, but we can’t right now. We’re off duty, on vacation.”
Carl stood up, stepped too close to Mattheus and stared. “What kind of guy says no to something like this?”
A good guy, a fair guy, Cindy told herself, a guy who’s trying to set his priorities.
Mattheus took a step closer to Carl as well. “We would if we could,” Mattheus said unflinchingly, “but we can’t. Not now.”
CHAPTER 6
After Carl and Tyra finally left, a pall hung over the early afternoon. Both Cindy and Mattheus felt rattled and neither wanted to go on an outing, and it was hard to chat. The grim situation hung between them and there was little they could say about it.
“I’d love to go play some golf,” Mattheus said after a while, “it steadies my nerves. Would you mind that?”
“Not at all,” said Cindy.
“Great,” said Mattheus. “There’s a well known golf course a few miles away. Afterwards, I’ll come back and we’ll go out on the town.”
“Sounds perfect,” said Cindy, and it really did. Her nerves were frayed as well, and she needed some time to walk alone on the beach and absorb what had happened.
Instead of going to the beach in front of the hotel, Cindy chose to go to Eagle Beach, a few minutes away, easy to get to, and less crowded. She would enjoy the quiet and calm after the unexpected wave of turbulence they’d run into.
*
Eagle Beach was considered one of the world’s most beautiful beaches. Cindy loved it. The pristine sand was soft, white and very clean, the waves weren’t too big and the water was a brilliant turquoise. Cindy could see clear ahead for almost two miles.
Cindy put her things down and began walking along the edge of the ocean, feeling the water run through her toes. It had been a wonderful idea to come here alone. The sound of the gentle surf on the sand and the endless vista before her opened her mind. She looked into the water and up at the sky as she walked.
After walking for a while, Cindy sat down at the edge of the surf and gazed at the horizon as the soft water rolled up over her legs and down. It was good that she and Mattheus both enjoyed time apart. When they returned to each another they usually felt settled, eager to be together again.
As she looked out into the horizon, Cindy watched some seagulls flying overhead, and listened to the fleeting song of other birds that drifted by. Some landed for a short time, sang their song, and flew away. Others lingered a little longer at the ocean’s edge. It made Cindy think of both Clint and Kate, who had come down to these beautiful beaches, seeking happiness and love. They’d both found it for a little while, and then an unexpected current came in, bringing a huge and dangerous wave, that snatched everything away.
It had been especially unsettling to meet Kate’s mother and uncle. Cindy wondered if Kate’s father was still alive. Were her parents divorced? Had her father heard about what happened? Carl seemed to have taken on the fathering role. Cindy found Carl powerful and interesting. There was no way he was going to let the investigation slide. That thought comforted her for a moment, but she also knew how tricky it could be to work one’s way through the Caribbean police system, to get beneath the layer of pleasantries and reassurances and discover what was really going on. There was a dark underbelly here that Cindy and Mattheus knew how to navigate. Cindy was sure that Carl didn’t, and once again was struck with how badly her services were needed.
Cindy sighed and leaned back on her elbows as she dug them into the sand. The warm breezes from the ocean flowed over her, undoing the knots that had formed in her body and mind. Mattheus was right, this was their time to make things work between them. The case was not their concern. But Cindy could not shake the strange feeling that destiny had other plans, was weaving its own web. Whatever she and Mattheus thought, whatever they’d planned, Kate and Clay had been brought right to their table, sitting side by side. Kate’s family had also been brought right over to them as they lounged at the pool. Cindy had wanted to tell Mattheus that a bigger plan seemed to be working, but she’d been afraid. She didn’t want to dislodge the harmony and joy they were finally experiencing together again.
Laying here on the beach now, Cindy realized that in the past, it had been too easy to dislodge the harmony between her and Mattheus. Many things had been able to easily disrupt them. Cindy thought about relationships and how much work and attention they demanded. Was every relationship like that? She didn’t remember it being that hard with Clint. Things seemed to flow so much more easily between them.
Cindy wiggled her toes in the warm water as it splashed around her playfully. Of course this wasn’t time to dwell upon the past, but she could not help but do so. She also could not help but think of Clint again now, wonder what he would do in a situation like this. The answer was immediate. Of course he would jump in and help on the case. There wouldn’t even be a moment’s hesitation. That’s what Cindy had loved so much about him. Clint would have never put himself ahead of someone in need.
Cindy got up from the sand energized and started walking
along the beach again. It seemed as if without her realizing it, the Caribbean had become her home. It had happened only recently though, since Clint’s death in Barbados. Her work as a detective after that had drawn her down here again and again. But it was more than that. It was also her promise to herself and Clint not to let the horror of his murder go to waste. From the very beginning, Cindy had been determined to use the pain she’d gone through to help others in the same situation.
Cindy kicked at the sand as she walked. What did her promise really entail? Had she fulfilled it by now? True, she’d helped solve many cases. But here, from out of nowhere, another case was being thrown in her lap. Did she have the right to say no to it? Hadn’t she promised she would help? Wasn’t that promise what got her through her dark and terrible time? Just because she and Mattheus had found happiness together, was that an excuse for letting the promise go?
Cindy turned full out to the ocean and watched the waves rippling in. Clint, she called out in her mind. Can you see what’s happening on this strange earth? Can you help me do what’s right?
Cindy felt odd as she called to Clint in her mind. She had done that a lot right after he’d died. As time had gone on, she’d done it less, was better able to make choices on her own. Then came the relationship with Mattheus. Many times Mattheus’s choices were different from hers. Cindy knew she had to stand strong in what she believed. She couldn’t give up her principles in order to hold onto her new relationship. That would never work.
As she mused about it, a large seagull seemed to fly out of the sky directly at her. It had a huge wing spread and came so close that Cindy jumped back on the shore. She stared as the gull flew in a circle and then took off again.
After it left, Cindy took a deep breath and couldn’t help feeling that Clint had swept in to be with her. Be true to yourself, Cindy, he had always said. Follow your heart, follow your path. Life is not worth living without courage. That was the way he’d lived and she wanted to as well.
A spray of water splashed up right in Cindy’s face then. She smiled as tears filled her eyes. She had no right to say no to Kate’s family. It was clear that she had to take the case.
*
After they’d both returned to the hotel Cindy and Mattheus showered, changed into evening clothes and took off for a wonderful dinner in town.
Seated close together at the trendy bar, they waited for their table at the restaurant that was packed and filled with smoke, noise, and song. Mattheus, looking suntanned and relaxed ordered apple martinis, as he pulled Cindy even closer to him.
“This place is crazy, but it’s fun. Like it, too?”
Cindy did. She enjoyed the lively energy and was glad they were surrounded by people. It would be easier to tell Mattheus what she had to say in the middle of a crowded restaurant and lively night. With music playing and people laughing, she could toss it off as if her decision were the most natural thing in the world.
The drinks came and Mattheus lifted his glass and toasted, “To the most beautiful woman I could ever imagine being with and calling my own.”
Cindy smiled, lifted her glass, touched hers to his and took a sip.
“Like the toast?” Mattheus was in a light hearted mood. “I meant every word I said. A woman I can call my own.”
“Beautiful,” said Cindy, not wanting to make more of it at the moment. Mattheus had a way of speaking grandly when he was in a good mood. Would he still want to call her his when she told him what she’d decided to do?
“You seem a little quiet this evening?” Mattheus said as he drained his glass. “Enjoy your time on the beach?”
“It was great,” said Cindy, quietly, “beautiful beaches.”
“Fantastic golf courses - everything we need is only a few steps away,” Mattheus agreed.
The bar they were in was obviously a hot spot. In the few minutes since they’d arrived, more people crowded into the entrance and were pressing up against the bar. Mattheus was shoved even closer to Cindy, and put his arms around her tight.
“Too crowded?” he asked, “we can go down the street to Nevilles. They’ve got dancing in the back.”
“Mattheus,” Cindy couldn’t banter with him this way when something so important had to be discussed. She put her glass down on the bar.
Mattheus drew to attention, feeling something was coming. “Yes, Cindy?” he tried to smile, but couldn’t.
Cindy spoke softly and quickly, “I’ve been thinking and thinking about what happened at the hotel. A young woman is dead. The families are suffering terribly. The case been thrown right into our lap. I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t take it.”
Mattheus jaw clenched as she spoke. “You couldn’t live with yourself if we didn’t take it?” he asked. “Why not?”
The noise around them grew louder and it was hard to hear what he said. Cindy could see from the look on his face though, that he wasn’t on board.
“I can’t stop thinking about that young girl,” said Cindy, “she was beautiful, innocent.”
“You don’t know that,” said Mattheus. “She might have been a rotten liar.”
A chill went through Cindy. “But I can’t stop thinking of her anyway.”
“That’s called obsession,” Mattheus responded.
“I’d call it compassion,” Cindy countered.
“Call it what you want,” Mattheus grew heated, “this is our vacation.” Then he waved at the bartender and ordered another round of drinks.
“Mattheus,” Cindy put her hand on his arm. “I made a promise.”
“Yes, you did. You made a promise to me, remember?”
“I also made a promise to Clint,” said Cindy.
Mattheus grew stone cold. “Clint’s dead, Cindy. I am here now. Open your eyes.”
Cindy sat up straighter as a bolt of energy flashed through her.
“I made a promise not just to Clint, but to what he stood for,” said Cindy. “And I made a promise to myself that I would dedicate my life to helping victims of crime.”
“You’ve kept your promise and you’re keeping it,” Mattheus insisted, taking the fresh martini that the bartender brought him and drinking it down. “What about your promise that you wouldn’t let anything get between us? Doesn’t that count, too?”
“This doesn’t have to get between us,” said Cindy.
“But it is,” Mattheus insisted.
“We can do this together,” Cindy replied, “we’re a team. You taught me all I know as a detective.”
“I don’t want to work on a case now. I came down here to be with you,” Mattheus was definite.
“You want us to spend our time drinking martinis and dancing when a young woman has been killed right under our nose?” asked Cindy.
Mattheus bristled, “Young women and men are getting killed every day all over the world.”
“Not right where we are. This case has been brought to us directly.”
Mattheus placed his cocktail glass back on the bar. “There’s always an excuse for everything, isn’t there? Looks like the roles between us have become reversed. Could it be that you’re the one now who’s afraid of intimacy? Has it been that way all along? Are you a workaholic, Cindy, afraid of loving and being loved?”
Cindy stopped cold. Was it so? Was she running away from closeness and happiness, hiding in cases? She didn’t think so. She’d been extremely happy to be close to Mattheus before this happened. She hadn’t gone out seeking another case. An emergency had happened, like a sudden summer storm. She was being summonsed to help. That was different, wasn’t it? How could she say no?
Mattheus turned his back to her then and ran his hands over his face. Cindy knew he did that when feelings of hurt and anger started to build.
“I love you, Mattheus,” Cindy reached out her hand to him, “I’m not running away from you. I never will.”
“I’d say you are,” he turned back and stared at her. “It’s one thing to say I love you, it’s another to live it.�
�
“We can put time into the case and then after it’s over, continue our vacation. We’ll both feel better then,” Cindy was adamant.
“Put time in? It’s not so simple.”
“Could be it’s a suicide?” Cindy pleaded. “That will be simple.”
“And if it’s not?” Mattheus shook his head back and forth. “I don’t like this.”
“I’m sorry, Mattheus.”
“Just like that? You’re sorry. You’ve made up your mind? It doesn’t matter if I agree?”
“I’ve got to do it, I’m sorry, Mattheus,” Cindy repeated. “I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t.”
“You’ve got a problem, Cindy,” Mattheus said, looking away. “I’ve seen it happen to detectives before. They become addicted to the chase, a normal life becomes boring, a regular relationship unfulfilling. I’ll never be able to compete with a hidden murderer floating around. Once the addiction sets in, all you really want, all you live for, is to nail down the next culprit, see them brought to justice. Only then can you sleep at night. “
“It’s not like that with me,” Cindy protested. “I sleep very well at night.”
“Yes, it is that way, and you don’t even realize it,” Mattheus was on a roll.
“You’re describing yourself, the way you used to be,” Cindy breathed.
“That’s how come I can recognize this a mile away,” Mattheus grumbled. “But I’m over it now. I’ve detoxed. Now it’s your turn.”
“I’m not addicted,” Cindy demanded, “I’m just doing what’s right. I want you, Mattheus. I want a normal relationship and a normal life.”
But Mattheus wouldn’t listen. He believed what he believed. “Come on,” he said, “let’s get out of here.”
*
Once out on the street Mattheus grew silent as they walked along the festive street back to the hotel.
“Always something between us,” he muttered as they moved along, “always something.”
Cindy felt he was being unfair, but she also wondered if destiny was taking a stab at their relationship as well. Were they meant to be together? Was there something or someone else they both needed that would make them happier and more fulfilled?
