“No, but I'd like to.”
I ended up bunching the long skirt around the hips and sewing the lumps of fabric into place. In my head, they looked like bustles or something. To the outside world, well, they probably just looked like lumps of fabric, but at least the dress felt new. At least I could savor the kiss of warm summer air against my bare legs, feel the anxious shiver in my blood each and every time a sea breeze hit me, yanking at the skirt Marilyn Monroe style. Besides, it looked better short, not so matronly. I didn't want to feel old, not when I felt so … wild. Young. Carefree. Or at least I would after this night was over. I might've been looking forward to seeing Casper again, but I wasn't looking forward to dodging out on Assignment Night.
Get through it and it's over. Once the votes are in and the positions assigned, there's nothing they can do. They can't drag you in later. It's now or never.
I steeled myself by squeezing my hands around the leather seat of my mother's BMW, breathing in deep and closing my eyes. Outside, I could hear the surf crashing against the rocks in sprays of foam, mocking me for my earlier fumble in its wild, blue depths. I wanted to get out, tiptoe past the succulent patches of bluff lettuce and scream at the sea, tell it that at least I knew it had power, respected its hidden dangers. Other people played in it without any respect, without believing that it could and would take their lives at its leisure.
Just get through tonight.
I snapped my eyes open and grabbed the car door, flinging it wide and stepping onto the sandy pavement, scanning the growing line of cars and the amassing crowd for Casper. I spotted Heidi first, but when she saw me, she just glanced away and snuggled further into the crook of Justin Haldeman's arm. Fine, I thought as I sucked in a breath that tasted like salt water taffy and stale popcorn from the concession stand. Be that way.
Instead, I opened the back door, grabbed my white cardigan and slipped it over my shoulders. It might be warm during the day, but if you live by the ocean long enough, you know that the nights are always cold, especially this close to the water. I could practically taste it on my tongue as I slipped behind the ticket booth and tried to grab a rough count of the milling students. It was barely seven thirty and already, there were at least a hundred people smiling at one another, pretending they didn't care when in all reality, this night meant more to them than homecoming, than prom, than graduation. For the seniors, this was their last chance to shine in our small pond, the last place they could stand out and be worshipped before they slipped into the real world and became invisible. This moment meant everything.
I watched them set out a table and place rocks over the piles of paper that would be used for voting. The wind picked at the edges and threatened to steal the small scraps away anyway, but hardly anyone noticed. They were too wrapped up in the subterfuge and the play of politics. I did my best not to sigh.
“You'd think we'd have advanced to voting via Facebook or something, huh?”
The voice behind me made me jump, spun me around and brought me face to face with Cage Lawrence. He was smoking a cigarette, leaning against the metal legs of the giant goose sign that had adorned the drive-in theater for more than fifty years. When he caught my eyes with his, he smiled.
“It would make more sense,” I said, my voice hardly audible over the whisper of wind and the crash of the waves. “And it would be more accurate, I'm sure.” Cage grinned and dropped his cigarette to the sand, covering it up with a kick of his foot.
“I'm glad you decided to show.” I smiled back and tucked some stray hair behind my ear. It didn't stay long and went whipping right back out in the next gust of wind, sticking to my glossed lips until I peeled it away with careful fingers.
“I'm not here for the Assignments. I have a date.” Cage raised his thick brows and moved towards me, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his blue jeans. He was the all-American boy, that's for sure. Tall, beautiful, dressed in a white sweater and pristine tennis shoes that looked like they'd been pulled straight from the box. But then, he was exotic, too. It was something about his glossy black hair and his slanted eyes, those gray irises and that bronze skin. He had a look I'd never seen before, not in movies or on TV. The word gorgeous sprung to mind.
“With who?” he asked, voice mild, like he couldn't have cared less. And maybe he didn't, maybe he was just curious. I don't know.
“Casper,” I said, feeling odd with those two simple syllables. I felt like I should have a last name to throw in there somewhere. I'd never asked. Cage chuckled, but he didn't make any ghost jokes. He moved up beside me and tilted his head back, examining the gull nests perched in the rafters of the old building. There were none there now, just remnants, long forgotten. The man that owned the Gander, Alan something-or-other, had put up those little metal spikes on every available surface. He hadn't bothered to knock the nests down though, or clean up the bird crap. The whole place needed work, really, but he was never going to put in the time or money. I guessed it was why the Gander was a casual teen hangout and nothing more. It could've been fabulous.
“Don't know any Caspers,” he told me honestly, dropping his gaze back down to mine. I didn't miss the fact that we were close now, maybe too close. I wanted to take a step back, but I didn't like the implications, so I stayed put. “He the son of the guy that moved in across the street from the high school?” I shrugged.
“I met him at the beach today. He saved my life.”
“I heard.”
“How so?” Cage smiled and it was he who moved back.
“News travels fast here, Chloe. You know that.” He shrugged his shoulders and took another step. “Are you sure you don't want to get in on this? It wouldn't interfere with your date. All you have to do is sign the roster and that's that. We could always give you your official title after the movie.”
“Assuming I'd even get one.” Cage's smile turned into a grin.
“Assuming that.” And then he turned away and moved quickly around the building and out of sight. With a sigh, I leaned back against the fading blue paint and closed my eyes again. Cage was … beautiful but untouchable. It was like he wasn't even a real person, like he was too perfect. It was a hard feeling to explain, but it was there nonetheless. He was probably the most interesting person in this town. Or he was until Casper showed up. I smiled and opened my eyes. If I didn't go looking for my date, he'd probably never find me.
I went back the way I'd come and tried to stay out of sight. If too many people saw me, I'd get dragged in whether I wanted to or not. I weaved in between the cars and all the way over to the bathrooms, but I didn't see any sign of the boy with the bright green eyes and the angel wing tattoos. Disappointed, I maneuvered my way back to the BMW and was surprised to find my new friend sitting on the hood.
“Big night here?” he asked as he gestured his chin at the crowd in back. The buzz of chatter was so loud, I doubted we'd even be able to hear the movie.
“I guess you could say that,” I began, wondering how the hell I was going to explain our … tradition. I had to though. Because if I didn't, someone else would. I gave Casper a once-over, taking in the tight black and white striped shirt he was wearing, the dark jeans, the white converse. He was all done up in monotone, no color in sight. Well, except for a tiny hint of his red tattoo peeking out of the end of his shirt sleeve. He was wearing eyeliner now, too, and a stud in the center of his lip that I hadn't remembered seeing earlier. “There's this … event that kicks off tonight. You know, in about a half hour, this place is going to be packed solid, and it's not really my scene. Do you want to go somewhere else?” Casper smiled wide.
“I looked this town up on the Internet before we moved here. There is nowhere else.” I smiled back and lifted a finger.
“Only if you don't know where to look.”
Twenty minutes later and Casper and I were sitting on a bench in the graveyard, not for the company, of course, but so we could gaze out at the ocean. This spot was the best in town, and hardly ever occup
ied for obvious reasons.
“How did you know this was my sort of scene?” he'd joked as I'd grabbed his wrist and felt that little thrill of heat in my chest and stomach, that warmth that mimicked the sun even though it was cold as hell, windy, gray and getting dark.
“Lucky guess?” I laughed as we plopped down onto the wood side by side and focused our eyes out at the churning navy waters, the lick of foam against the rocks, the mountains lifting up into the sky, kissing the fading light with gentle lips. “But seriously, have you ever seen anything more beautiful than this?” Casper stared at me long and hard for a moment before moving his gaze back out to the ocean.
“The jury's still out, but you could very well be right.” He paused. “You don't hold anything against her?” I wrinkled my brow, but I didn't turn to face him. It was like I was possessed, captured by the beauty of the sea. I always thought it was prettiest like this, all angry and wild. Yeah, sure, it was nice during the day, bathed in sunshine and laughter, but right now, this seemed so much more intimate, like a moment that could never really be recreated. The waves would never hit quite like this ever again, nor would the wind blow just this way. Those sunny days were a dime a dozen here. These secretive, dirty kind, well, these were rare.
“Who?” I asked him, not understanding. “Heidi?”
“The ocean.”
“Hmm.” I thought about this for awhile and Casper didn't press. We stayed silent, but it wasn't awkward, not this time. “No, I don't think I do. The sea is wonderful. It nourishes and it entertains and it satisfies, but those things always come with a price. I took a risk when I stepped out into that water.”
“Your friend practically dragged you,” Casper interjected, and he sounded kind of ticked off. I turned to him then, finally, watched his green eyes absorb the scenery beyond the gravestones.
“You know, they say in thirty years or less that this cemetery will be completely underwater. There's talk of moving the bodies elsewhere, but I don't agree. How could you rest in peace if you'd experienced this and then got transferred to … God, I don't know, somewhere in the desert or something?” At this, all the anger in Casper's face drained away, and he smiled again.
“I agree. They should leave them as they are, let the sea take them.” And then as soon as he said this, his face drooped and his eyes flicked over to mine. “That's what my sister wants when she goes, to be scattered at sea.”
“Your sister?” I asked and then I got an image in my head of a raven haired girl standing atop the dunes. Ah. So that explained that.
“The doctors gave her six months max, so we moved here, to be away from the city and the stress and all that. But she's not even supposed to go out by herself, so I don't see what the point of dragging her to a coastal town is. Torture?” I swallowed hard, but I didn't ask what was wrong with her. That wasn't my place. If Casper wanted to tell me that, he would. He stopped talking and leaned back into the bench, slouching a bit and biting his lower lip in thought.
“Hey, what's your last name?” I asked suddenly, remembering the need I felt earlier to have it, like this would seem more real somehow if I got that information.
“Alice,” he replied and then dug around in his pocket for a second. I thought he was going for a smoke, but when he pulled out his hand, he had a seashell lying in his palm. It was a small, pink conch, about the size of a dime. I'd never seen one that little before. When I reached out to touch it, Casper folded his fingers around the shell. I glanced up at him. “This is for you,” he told me. “But first, I want to hear your last name.” My pulse began to thunder in my head and my mouth went dry. I couldn't explain the feeling, but there it was again, that magnetic heat that was always between us, warming the cold evening air and lighting up the sky with fireworks. It felt exactly the way people always claimed first love will feel – wild, electric, uncontrollable. Now, I didn't exactly think I was in love, not yet, but there was the possibility of love, and it was as beautiful as the roiling sea.
“Summer.” Casper grinned and opened his fingers, waiting with his palm outstretched and his eyes locked onto mine.
“It suits you,” he said, and I smiled. My hand came up and the tips of my own fingers slid across his moist flesh, testing, teasing, learning. Each whorl of my fingertips felt like a ridge, crashing against the lines of Casper's hand until my heart was pumping so fast I thought it would burst from my chest. If I wasn't careful, I'd end up dropping dead and getting buried in one of the old graves.
I put the shell in my lap and clasped my hands around it.
“Casper,” I began, knowing I couldn't put this off any longer. I hated to break the moment, but I could hear the shouting and cheering coming from the drive-in and knew it was only a matter of time before he figured out there was something odd going on. “I know we just met and this might sound a little weird, but there's something you should know about this town.” His raised his thin brows and sat back, draping his arms over the back of the bench.
“Do you sacrifice kittens on the full moon? Because if so, I'm totally out. I won't sacrifice kittens. Goats, maybe. But not kittens.” I tried to smile back at the joke, but thinking of The Assignment was akin to strapping weights on either side of my mouth. The corners of my lips pulled down into a frown.
“Tonight is Assignment Night.” Casper remained still, listening, not at all nervous about what I was going to say. He didn't think it was going to be bad or that it was going to affect him, but I knew it would. Somehow, I just knew.
“Like, for classes or something?”
“Like, for the summer. All summer. Tonight, all the students, ages thirteen to eighteen, will be assigned a title. Most of them will stay Students, but a select lucky and unlucky few will be … Something else.” Casper gave me a look that said I was totally and completely nuts. Again, I attempted a smile, but this one fell even flatter than the first. I resorted to keeping my eyes on the sea and letting my fidgety hands spin the conch around in circles. “You know all the stereotypes people think about when they talk about high school? Jocks? Losers? Party boys? Goths?” Casper pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and slipped it between his lips.
“Yeah, sure, okay.”
“Well … on Assignment Night, tonight, people get nominated by their peers for certain … positions, and then they have to act them out until the Friday before Labor Day. Every day until that day, at midnight, they have to be who everyone wants them to be, for good or bad. And everyone else, the Students, they have to play along.”
“Um, you're kidding right? Is this some kind of game?” My faux smiled turned into a grimace.
“I wish it were. If it were just a game, it'd be fun, right? But it's not. I mean, I used to think it was, but not anymore. People get hurt playing this game.” I paused, not necessarily for dramatic effect, but there it was. “They get killed. Sometimes. By accident.”
“You're serious?” Casper asked, sitting up, looking alarmed. “Why, how?” I nibbled my lower lip for a second, trying to decide how to explain this.
“There are certain … roles you don't really want to play. Like Outcast. Or even Crush. Last year's Crush was killed in an accident … She couldn't handle the attention and she ran off in the middle of the night. They say she slipped on the edge of the cliff and … ” I didn't have to finish my sentence. Casper was smart; he'd figure it out. It was so clichéd, but still tragic. When Tatiana's body had washed up onshore, it had been barely recognizable. She had no eyes, no face at all really, and her hands … I shook the memory off.
“Can you opt out or whatever?” I glanced over at Casper. His green eyes were wide and his cigarette remained unlit.
“I guess. I mean, I am this year. We are. It's not normal, but if we're not there, we can't sign up.” I shrugged and watched as the shaking got worse. Casper's face blanched and his lips got tight.
“My sister. Julie. Let's say, she went to the drive-in. I mean, let's just pretend for a second that she was sitting in my car.” I stared
at Casper with a baffled expression my face. They wouldn't … would they? No. No, I knew better. They would. They most certainly would. That whole mob mentality thing is true. When everybody got together for The Assignment, they got weird.
“If she were there,” I began, feeling afraid for a girl I'd never met. “Then she'd be in big trouble.”
We made it back just after the votes had been cast, tossed in colored buckets that had been hand painted by various volunteers. After I parked the car, Casper tore out the door and across the sandy lot towards his own vehicle. I followed after, not bothering to avoid the screen where a black and white vampire film was currently playing. Nobody was watching it anyway.
“Julie?” Casper asked, yanking open the driver's side door and peering into the empty car. I paused behind him and scanned the crowd with a critical eye. There were so many people, it was hard to really pull out any individuals The boys were all dressed in brightly colored surf shirts, and the girls were all decked out in sundresses, much like the one I was wearing. They wouldn't really start to show their individuality until Assignments had been made and everyone knew where they stood. Still, I figured that Casper's sister with her dark hair and pale eyes would be fairly easy to spot.
I ended up finding Heidi first, with a beer in one hand, a smirk on her face. She shrugged Justin's arm off and came over to us, barely glancing at Casper, all of her attention focused on me.
“You're a little late,” she said, accent slipping just enough that I knew she was still upset, even if she wasn't showing it. “But I think it'd be alright if you joined in.” I smiled back at her, much less wickedly. Despite her feelings towards me right now, I wasn't in the mood to fight. It wasn't worth it, not over something as temporary as this. I liked to think my friendships were for life. Now, whether that was true or not, I guess I'd come to find out, but that's the way I liked to position myself. Fight as little as possible, agree to disagree, make compromises. Not everyone shared my views however.
Crushing Summer Page 3
