by Imani King
“I know what you thinking,” Alisha said. “You wondering if he turns on his charms, will you be able to say no?”
“How did you know that?” I was impressed.
“It’s written all over your face, girl,” she nodded wisely at her own point. “You better be extra careful. Sure, these white boys like to come around, but sometimes they just want a little taste of the dark side. You want to make sure he’s in for the long haul before you let him have it. That is if you want him at all. You should have high standards, since you are one beautiful and smart woman.”
“Ok, thank you,” I said. Alisha was right, and I had known her for a long time. Suddenly she swiveled the chair around.
“What do you think?”
It was a great cut. Feminine, with angles that made my cheekbones pop. My eyes looked wider, and somehow it drew the eye to my full lips.
“This is great, oh thank you A!” We hugged spontaneously.
“Anytime. And best of luck for your date with the doc,” she said, smiling.
“Thanks!”
Chapter 12
Christopher was looking in the mirror, suddenly anxious. Dating had never been much of an issue. He didn’t want to toot his own horn, but he had never gotten too attached to any of the girls he had been with. For some reason, they had just never gotten past his walls. He hadn’t been the one to put them up, those walls – they were a natural consequence of his dad walking out when he was young. So he had decided at a very young age to just concentrate on what was important to him, and not let anyone or anything to get in the way of what he was trying to accomplish.
Medical school had made that pretty easy. He was kept so very busy that it was almost impossible to have the time to build a relationship with someone. Quick and easy hookups between students was kind of the norm, and nobody faulted you for it, because nobody had the time for more. If he had wanted to date someone besides another student, or intern, he just wouldn’t have had the chance to meet one. When you were scheduled for a 36-hour shift, you just didn’t meet anyone who wasn’t a patient, and if someone came in, there were strict rules against dating them anyway.
However, being as busy as he was also masked the fact that he was feeling a growing sense of being alone, and that there must be more to life than his job, than his mission in life, than his money. He had never been too hurting for cash, but the money he had now was more of a recent thing. His absent father had passed away, a fact that he would never have even known about, had he not gotten the call from the lawyer asking him to come in for his share of the will. When the stony faced man had told him how much money he was going to inherit, Chris was in shock. He left the meeting empty.
How much is a father’s love worth? He wondered. How is it that he spent his life so alone that he didn’t have anyone besides me, someone he barely knew, to give his money to? Sure, I am his first-born son, and in the past that would mean I was the rightful heir, but he could have chosen anyone.
He had sat in his car for a few minutes, a decent Japanese car, before driving to the dealership and plunking a bunch of money down on a sports car. Almost in a haze as he was doing it, he walked out and into a new Ferrari. It was black, shiny, beautiful, but somehow it still had the quality of a hearse to Christopher. A shiny chrome black hearse that was driving away the memory of his father.
And now there was a new girl in his life. When she had talked about the death of her sister, all he wanted to do was to take her into his arms, and tell her that he understood. It was if her words were coming out of his own soul. He remembered the change in his house when his father left, like he wasn’t allowed to laugh or cry, to make noise, or even exist, unless he would set his mother off to another well-deserved, but difficult episode of grief. When she said how much she wanted to have a child, he realized that that was the reason he had specialized, as well. To give happy childhoods. Because it was guaranteed that these parents, parents who were willing to struggle financially, with their health, with everything they had to have a child. Those parents weren’t going to walk out on their children. They were going to stick through. They were committed.
And now I should be committed, he thought wryly, as he ran the razor over his cheeks, maintaining the perfect level of stubble to accentuate his cheekbones. Thinking that because I had a dream that I should date some random beauty that walks into my office looking for a job. Could I be more unprofessional?
Chapter 13
The lighting was a soft glow. Looking at Christopher’s face almost scared me, he was so good looking. And the expression in his eyes was more than beautiful, it was full of desire. I could tell he wanted me, and I knew I wanted him. Maybe it was just physical, this thing that we were developing. Which might be ok by me. I wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant, I thought wryly. Apparently it would have to be some kind of miracle, but who doesn’t like a miracle?
He poured me a glass of wine and I took a sip. It was sparkly, bubbling, a little tangy, and the complex flavors played on my tongue. Kind of like I wish I could play on his tongue.
“Yes,” he said. “Isn’t it good? I am no wine expert but I love this champagne. I guess everyone else does too.”
“It’s incredible.” I looked up at him through my lashes, shyly. I hoped my dress wasn’t too revealing – it was a bit low-cut, and I noticed his eyes were drifting to my chest every now and then and then sparking away. Still I didn’t mind at all – I loved it. The way he listened to me when I spoke, he could look at whatever he wanted. Heck he could taste whatever he wanted. ‘Teagen! Behave!’ I could hear Alisha saying in my mind. ‘Don’t let that white boy take advantage.’ But… Is it taking advantage if you want it more than he even could?
Chapter 14
Christopher gazed on Teagen in the light of the streetlamp, filtered through the dark window of the Ferrari. The soft glow on her dark skin was mesmerizing, her full lips looking so kissable. He sighed with some regret. Why did you have to come along? He thought. My life was going just great until you arrived and turned it all upside down.
Her mouth morphed into a slow smile.
“What? What are you sighing for? Didn’t you have a good time?”
“Well of course I did, best first date I ever had!” He tried to smile reassuringly, but he knew that the warring emotions inside him would find their way to the surface. He wanted her, that he knew. He needed someone like her, who understood what he had gone through when he lost a family member he loved. But he was terrified at the same time. He looked out his driver’s side window, but his hand crept out and found hers, and held it. The fingertips traced fingertips, feeling the extra spark of electricity that flowed with each movement. The palms intermingled, every touch a happy discovery of connection and lust, and desire. Eagerly the hands drew together until he turned toward her, and they faced each other. He leaned in, touched his forehead to hers, before tipping her face up with a finger and touching, ever so tentatively, ever so respectfully, ever so full of love, her waiting lips. They were like soft cushions to his fervent touch, welcoming him in, accepting him.
Christopher opened his mouth a little, just a little, and was thrilled when she did in return, until their soft, warm tongues slipped against each other, shyly, and then wildly. His hand pressed up against her waist, fingers clenching unconsciously, before sliding up the soft fabric of her side to the swell of her breast.
Teagen’s breath came hot and fast, willing him to thumb her nipple, to circle it over the hardening nub, as the kissed hard and fast. Her own hand slid around his waist and lowered to his firm ass cheek, massaging and savoring its feel before pulling his hips toward her.
His hand tangled into her hair, pulling her face to his, when he stopped and looked her in the eye.
“Teagen, what is this?” He asked, his breath fast and eyes widening. “You are so amazing. But we just met? How is it that I feel this way?”
“I don’t know, just kiss me!” she giggled, tilting her chin up to his a
nd smiling, before he claimed her mouth with hers. His fingers twined hers, and he could swear that he could see sparks flying when they connected. He could definitely feel it.
Chapter 15
Why did I go upstairs with him? I asked myself. What was I thinking?
Dawn’s rays were coming through the slats of the custom blinds, and the excesses of the night before were coming into sharp relief as well. She had wanted him so badly, the way he looked so vulnerable, so beautiful, so filled with desire, nearly silhouetted in that expensive car. She hadn’t been able to pull herself away from his embrace, hearing his heart beat against hers, his hard body pressed against her soft curves.
“You are so fucking sexy,” he had whispered into her ear before she had said, “Should we continue this evening elsewhere?” and he had asked her to come back to his place. That was a crazy thing in itself.
She pulled the cashmere blanket around her as she looked at the sleeping figure on the other side of the bed. Christopher’s usually expressive face wasn’t blank, exactly, but it was so guileless, so sweetly unprotected. She wished she could stare at him for the whole morning, just to memorize every aspect of him, the lines of his lips, the pores of his perfect skin, the pattern of his sweet, perfect stubble, clearly manicured for her delight.
So was the bed, for that matter. The sheets had to be at least an 800 thread-count. They felt like silk, wrapping around her with a crisp softness. She snuggled into them against her own will, thinking about how she should leave whether she wanted to or not. What she wanted to do was to struggle into his warm body, and never leave. Sink her lips into his, and lower herself onto his hardness, slip his hot length into her soft, wet folds, and gyrate until they were both on the verge of ecstasy. Instead she savored the feeling of the pillow top mattress for a few precious extra seconds before slipping soundlessly out of the bed, grabbing her clothes that were strewn in a path leading toward the bed, and tiptoeing toward the bathroom for a quick touch up.
Thank God we didn’t have sex last night, she thought, though we came damn close. He was one sexy motherfucker, and it took all her power to keep it at a level. Of course, that didn’t preclude a little oral exploration. As she took a few sips of water from the sparkling crystal glass by the sink, her mind flipped through visions of his body, of what he did to her, what she did for him – the way he tasted, his salty hot petal-soft skin against her lips and tongue, as she took him inside, tongue swirling around the veiny surface to his light groans. Her womb was contracting with each image, almost doubling her over in pleasure.
How he buried himself between her legs, his mouth slowly sucking in each lip before the tongue gently circled her center, making her wail with desire and pleasure in one. When he entered her with his fingers at the same time, she had wrapped her dark legs around his light shoulders, her hands gripping his silky dark hair, guiding him closer into her.
Why had she done all that? Alisha’s disapproving face was floating in her mind.
“Sure, these white boys like to come around, but sometimes they just want a little taste of the dark side.”
“The dark side.”
She rinsed her face and mouth and finished dressing before slipping out the door and padding across the carpet, running down the stairs and shutting the heavy front door behind her with a quiet click. She was ready to grab a coffee then catch the next cab she saw, to rid herself of her shame and her stupid decisions.
Chapter 16
Christopher turned over and extended his arm, feeling for Teagen’s body. A cold realization settled on his warm awakening consciousness when he was met with just the silken feel of the bedsheets, instead of her soft skin.
He opened one eye, warily, to see nothing. He listened, hoping he could hear some coffee being made, or the white noise of the running shower, but there was nothing. Just the same silence there was every day.
His heart grew empty. Of course she left, he thought. People leave, that’s what they do.
He pulled the sheets around him and stared into nothingness while he tried to process the events of the night before. He hadn’t expected to be so carried away, so filled with desire, and dare he say it? Even love. Love? At this stage of the game? That’s madness. The way she had clutched at him. Their breathing, their moving in unison. Each touch a promise of more. But would that promise be broken?
But it was love, somehow. It was the small spark that just promised to grow into a raging inferno, and the feelings they had the night before had just proven that that was the case. Unfortunately that spark was something that could have two other consequences. If denied of oxygen it could never grow. And if it’s not controlled, it could burn down his life, and everything in it.
Christopher closed his eyes again and willed sweet sleep to return, but to no avail. The tight, choking feeling that had formed in his heart was keeping him awake. And eerily, though different in scope, he recognized it as the same feeling he had had after his father had left.
Chapter 17
“Fuck fuck fuck,” I said to myself.
“Pardon me?” Said the barista.
“I’m sorry! Whoops, cappuccino, please.”
“Coming right up. Rough night?”
I just smiled in return, not sure what to say. It had been a great night. The greatest ever night. But now it’s over and I shouldn’t have done it, and now I am traipsing around town in the clothes I was dressed for dinner in the night before. Walk of shame anyone?
Yeah, not my proudest moment.
“Take it easy on yourself. We’ve all been there,” said the barista, handing me a steaming cup. “Things will get better.”
I sipped it gratefully, sweet liquid filling my mouth. Then I rushed out, somehow more embarrassed that it apparently was written all over me that I had had a one night stand.
Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? A one-night stand?
It didn’t feel like a one-night stand.
But still, Alisha was right. Don’t give it up right away. Still we may have slept together, but we hadn’t had sex per se, so I hadn’t exactly given anything up. Or did I? I was certainly giving up my dignity walking around town like this. I jumped in the next cab and made my way back home as quickly as possible.
Chapter 18
“Maia, why?” The last word was drawn out a million miles. I was laying on the floor in our apartment clutching a pillow, pausing every now and then to bury my fist in it.
“What? What why?”
“Why did I have to sleep with him the first night? Alisha said he probably just wants some of the dark side.”
“Dark side? Oh honey,” Maia shook her head. “Well if he wants that there’s nothing you can do anyway. But I don’t think that’s what this is about.”
“Well then why hasn’t he called me?”
“He’ll call,” she said.
“How do you know?”
“I just know.” She looked at peace, resolute. “He’ll call.”
“Auuughhh!” I rolled over a few more times, ending in a dramatic position with the back of my wrist over my forehead like the ladies in old pictures.
“Girl, you need to pull yourself together.” Maia was not impressed. “I’ve never seen you like this before. What got into your head.”
“Alisha told me that I shouldn’t give it up right away, and what do I do??”
“But you’re not giving anything up. You had a nice evening with a gorgeous, successful man, and then you went home with him, made out, had some fun and fell asleep. Am I right?”
“Well yeah,” I sniffed.
“That shit happens on the daily. Seriously. People do that. It’s not 1956 anymore, and plenty of people get together when they slept together on the first date.”
“Like who?” I felt a glimmer of hope.
“Like my sister, Malika,” said Maia. “And she’s married.”
“Who else?”
“Plenty of people,” she said. “Look. Go have a shower, and then we will
do pedicures. I want you to look your best when Prince Charming comes to call.”
“Ok.”
“And make sure you exfoliate! I don’t want you all ashy!”
I laughed. “Ok, ok.” I shook my head. Maia. My best friend.
Chapter 19
“Honey, how’s it going?” My mother’s voice was deceptively casual.
“Fine,” I said, crunching on a carrot.
“You know I don’t like it when you chew on the phone with me.”
“So why do you call at lunchtime mom?”
