“Not my point.”
He was starting to get irritated. “There’s a point?”
“Yes, Carson. The baby is the point. I don’t really think you’re ready for this...to marry me when you’ve barely known me a month because we’re having a baby when you don’t even want a baby.”
“How about you let me be the judge of what I’m ready for? I want to marry you. We can work it all out.”
“I just don’t think it’s that simple. As things stand now, I’m ready for you to be however involved you want to be. You didn’t sign up for this, and I understand that. I can totally accept your not really being there for our child.”
“What are you talking about? I want to be there.”
“I’m saying that if we were married, I’d have higher expectations of you, and our child would, too.”
“Fine. Good. I already told you. You should have expectations. So should the kid. Bring them the hell on.”
“If we were married,” she kept on way too patiently, “I would expect you to be a hands-on father, to be involved with our child.”
“Involved. Fine. I can do that.”
She let her caressing hands fall to her sides with a tired sigh. “Carson, you don’t even like children.” She got up and stood gazing down at him until he began to feel like a complete idiot, still kneeling there on the floor.
He rose, too, and reminded himself that he wasn’t going to grab her, wasn’t going to try to kiss some sense into her. “This is just not going the way I pictured it.”
She took his hand. He tried to find some comfort from that, from the fact that she’d touched him, that she looked up at him with soft eyes and a gentle smile. “We don’t have to rush into anything.” She brought his fingers to her lips and she kissed the backs of his knuckles, one by one.
“Tessa.” Her name came out rough with all the emotions he wasn’t all that good at dealing with. “We can make it work. Give us a chance.”
“I am, Carson.” Her voice sounded a little rusty, too. “Definitely.”
“I gave up a perfectly wonderful wife for you.” Where had that come from? He had no clue.
But she didn’t take it badly. On the contrary, she chuckled. “I think you gave up your wife so that you could be free to enjoy all the world has to offer you—including a whole bunch of gorgeous women, serially and probably in groups.”
“Very funny.” He scowled down at her. “And also wrong. I gave up my marriage for you. I just didn’t realize it at the time. Everything was and is for you. I wanted to be ready when I finally found you.”
“That was kind of twisted—but also just beautiful.” She went on tiptoe, offering that mouth he somehow never got enough of kissing. He should have resisted. She’d really pissed him off.
But he couldn’t. He lowered his head and kissed her, just a quick one, because he couldn’t not kiss her. “Marry me,” he commanded.
She rose up and kissed him again. Her breath smelled of berries and cinnamon. “I can’t. Please try to understand.”
He caught her shoulders, fingers digging in—until she winced and he loosened his grip. But he didn’t let her go. “What do you need?”
“Need?”
“What do I have to do to get you to say yes?”
Her dark eyes searched his face. “Passion fades, Carson.”
“Not mine for you.”
“It’s too early to know that.”
“Not for me. What about for you?” He ran the back of his finger up the silky skin on the side of her neck. She shivered a little. He drank in that unwilling response. “Are you afraid you’re going to get tired of me?”
Her gaze never wavered. “No. I’m not. You are...more than I ever bargained for. And in the best of all possible ways.”
“Good answer. So then, if you trusted me, if you were sure you could count on me and that I would treat our baby right, then would you say yes?”
She didn’t even have to think it over. “Yes. I would.”
“All right, then. Prepare to learn to trust me.”
“Only you could make that sound like a threat.”
He caught a curl of her hair and wrapped it slowly around his finger. “I’m going to have to fly back to LA today.”
Her eyes went stormy. “But you just got here. And weren’t we just talking about working things out? How can we do that if you’re in LA?”
“Come with me.”
“No, Carson. Right now I need to be here. I can’t just run away to your world. Not right now.”
He pulled his finger free of that shining coil of coffee-colored hair. “I knew you would say that.”
“They why ask?”
“Never hurts to try. I won’t be gone long. I need to clear my calendar, take care of a few things that can’t wait.”
“How long is not long?”
“A couple of days, three at the most.”
* * *
Tessa kissed him goodbye a few minutes later. It was a very long, deep kiss, and it took all the willpower she possessed not to let that one kiss melt into another.
And another after that.
Not to grab his hand and pull him to the bedroom and have her way with him. Preferably more than once.
But that didn’t seem right, somehow. Why it didn’t, she wasn’t exactly sure. Maybe because he was leaving again so quickly. She could get whiplash; he was here and gone so fast.
Of course, she could have flown back with him. He’d asked her to come.
But that didn’t seem right, either.
Nothing seemed right.
As she drove back to the boardinghouse, she kept remembering him dropping to his knees in front of her, replaying all the beautiful things he’d said to her. He’d melted her heart with his words—melted her heart and almost her panties.
But she needed to be careful. She lifted a hand from the steering wheel, pressed it to her flat belly and reminded herself that she had more than just her own heart to consider now. Beautiful words were one thing—and hadn’t she heard them all before? Hadn’t Miles sworn he would love her forever?
For some men, forever didn’t last very long. Carson swore he wasn’t like that—or at least not anymore, not when it came to her.
But he had been like that once, with Marianne, hadn’t he? Yes, everybody made mistakes and what had happened with Marianne had been several years ago. Some relationships just didn’t work out.
Still, she just needed to be careful and not allow Carson to do what he did so very well—sweep her right off her feet and into his waiting arms.
In her room at the boardinghouse, she dug into a couple of small projects she had in the works. When she checked her email, she found one from Jason Velasco. He asked how she was doing—and mentioned that “her” job was still available if by any chance she’d changed her mind. He wrote, I still have that sketchbook of yours. Do you want it back? Excellent work, by the way.
At first, she felt a little annoyed. Carson had probably put him up to it.
But then, really, so what if Carson had been behind Jason making contact again?
Tessa realized she could get to like Jason. And professionally, it never hurt to cultivate good contacts. She composed a friendly reply and sent it off before going downstairs.
At lunchtime, she helped out in the kitchen and then moved on to laundry duty. When she came back upstairs, her grandmother called her into the kitchen. Melba plied her with iced tea and lemon bars and asked how “things” were going with her and Carson. Tessa looked into her grandma’s loving eyes and almost told her about the baby.
But she was only five weeks pregnant. Who could say what the future might bring? Telling her family about the baby could wait awhile.
“He had to return to LA for a f
ew days.”
“But he’s coming back?”
“That is the plan, yes.”
“Will he be staying here?”
“I don’t know. I think he’s keeping his suite at Maverick Manor, too.”
“I hope he stays here. I like your young man. He’s very charming and yet direct. And he’s helpful, too. Pitches right in. And it’s obvious he’s in love with you.”
“Oh, Grandma...”
“Not that his being in love with you surprises me. Any man with sense would fall in love with you.”
She reached across the table and squeezed Melba’s arm. “Love you.”
“You be sure to tell him we miss him and he should stay here.”
“Of course, I’ll tell him you miss him. But as for staying here, I think I’ll let him decide that for himself.”
“Fine, then. Don’t tell him. I’ll do it myself.”
* * *
As it turned out, Melba didn’t have to tell him.
That night, he texted Tessa: Back with you Sunday. Staying at the boardinghouse. Because I miss you and I need to be close to you.
Can’t wait, she texted back.
So you miss me, too. I knew you would.
My grandmother adores you. I have no idea why.
Give her my love.
Give it to her yourself when you get here on Sunday. How long are you staying?
If no disasters arise here, until the end of the month—or until you agree to come back to Malibu with me.
What to say to that? All possible answers seemed dangerous.
Before she could decide on a response, another text popped up from him.
What are you wearing?
She burst into a loud laugh lying there on her bed before texting back. I did not have sex with you this morning and I am not sexting with you tonight.
Come on, just a hint. I really liked those little satin panties with the peekaboo lace on the sides that you were wearing yesterday.
Perv. They’re called boy shorts.
And I like them.
She giggled. And then, out of nowhere, her eyes misted over. She stared at his words on the screen, her throat clutching and her heart filled with longing.
Because she loved him. She really did. Even though it was way too soon, even though she feared it couldn’t last and she had the baby to think of, too. The baby needed a mom who made good choices, a mom who didn’t just rush into marriage because the father offered—well, okay. Carson had more than offered. He really did seem to want to marry her.
And, well, she wanted to marry him, too.
She loved him. And she desperately wanted everything to work out.
Which was why they needed to take it slow.
Tessa? Where’d you go?
I’m right here.
Everything okay?
I miss you, Carson. You’ve only been gone since this morning and I miss you so much.
Two more days. I’m there.
She whipped a tissue from the box on the nightstand, dabbed at her eyes and then texted, I’m glad. And I should go.
Wait.
The phone vibrated in her hand with his incoming call. She put it to her ear. “What?”
“I need to say good-night to the baby.”
Her poor heart melted all over again. She swiped at her eyes some more. “She doesn’t understand words yet.”
“Put him on, anyway.”
“Hold on a sec. You think it’s a boy?”
He answered, “I do,” in an intimate tone that set her nerves humming.
“Well, I think it’s a girl.”
He chuckled. “Just put him on.”
“Fine. Here you go.” She pressed her cell to her stomach and heard Carson say something, though she had no idea what. She put it back to her ear. “Done?”
“For now.” His voice was rough and tender. “Good night, Tessa.”
She disconnected the call before she could end up bawling on the phone to him, crying out her love, promising him anything he wanted, all of her, forever.
If only he would love her back and never leave her.
And never, ever break her heart.
Chapter Thirteen
Carson boarded the plane for Montana at eight Sunday morning. He picked up a Cadillac SUV in Kalispell and headed for Rust Creek Falls, stopping off at Maverick Manor on the way into town to drop off some things he didn’t need right away. At a quarter of noon, he pulled into the boardinghouse parking lot. He grabbed his suitcase and briefcase and went in through the back door, which Melba left unlocked during daylight hours.
The back hall was empty, but he could hear voices from the dining room and knew that Claire and Melba would be in the kitchen preparing lunch, with maybe little Bekka there, too. And since it was Sunday, probably Levi as well. And Tessa would most likely be with them, pitching in. Rather than drag his stuff to the kitchen with him, he raced up the backstairs to leave it in his room.
Tessa’s door opened as he strode along the upper hall. She emerged, in old jeans and a wrinkled Drive-By Truckers T-shirt, her hair piled up in the usual messy knot at the top of her head.
She froze at the sight of him, those eyes that tipped up just right at the corners going wide with surprise. “Hey.” Breathless. Eyes shining. The moment was unbelievably sweet.
“Hey.” His suitcase and briefcase hit the floor with a matched pair of thuds.
She ran for him. He reached out and caught her as she jumped into his arms, wrapping herself around him the way she liked to do. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, sucked in the wonderful scent of her skin. She whispered, “I missed you.”
And then she fisted a hand in his hair, pulled his face up to hers and kissed him.
At that moment, as her mouth crashed into his, he was absolutely certain she would say yes, and soon.
* * *
Three days later, he wasn’t so sure. She kept saying she wasn’t ready yet. She kept telling him she needed more time.
Lots more time.
He didn’t have lots more time. And they needed to be together from now on, needed to learn how to be together, to build on the chemistry and commonality they already shared. A long-distance relationship wasn’t going to cut it.
But he couldn’t stay in Rust Creek Falls indefinitely. And she wouldn’t come to LA with him. Not, she insisted, until she was sure they were going to be together “in a permanent way.” He was all for permanent. And he told her so.
And then she would cycle right back around to how he couldn’t know that. Maybe it wouldn’t work out. And where would they be then? Where would their baby be?
He reminded himself he still had time. Till the end of the month, before he had to be back in LA to get serious about the brandy liqueur product launch and handle preparations for the new club opening in San Diego. He told himself that no matter what happened, no matter how long she stalled him, he wasn’t giving up. He’d find a way to make it work long-distance, if that was all she would give him. He would stick with her, prove himself true to her.
And somehow, they would end up together.
But he hated that bastard Miles, who had messed her over. That loser had made it way too hard for her to trust again. She doubted her own judgment, and she was scared to death to follow her heart. And that left both of them hanging.
Carson needed to break the damn stalemate they seemed to be caught in. Somehow, he needed to find new ways to convince her that he meant what he promised her: that forever could be theirs—hers, his and the baby’s—if only she would reach out and claim it.
On Thursday, he went to the Manor to catch up on some business. While he was there, he called Ryan.
“Heard you were in town a
gain.” The lawyer sounded way too pleased with himself. “Can’t stay away from a certain hot brunette, can you?”
Carson cut to the chase. “I’m in love with Tessa, and I want to marry her, but she won’t say yes.”
There was dead silence on the other end of the line. Then, finally, Ryan said, “Didn’t I tell you this would happen? It’s Rust Creek Falls—am I right? Maybe there’s something in the water or—”
“Don’t push it, Ryan.”
“Aw, come on. Let me gloat at least a little.”
“No way.” Carson tapped the seal of the bottle that sat on the coffee table in front of him. “However, you do get a bottle of really good Scotch.”
Ryan chuckled. “You brought me the Drake Imperial?” At Carson’s grunt of affirmation, he crowed, “Now I know you’re grateful.”
“Yes, I am, as a matter of fact. And didn’t you also predict that I would move to Rust Creek Falls?”
“Yes, I did.”
“I would move here tomorrow if I could. But I can’t.”
“I’m speechless.”
“You’re never speechless. And I need your help again.”
“Man, whatever you need, it’s yours. I’ll do what I can.”
“Good. Say I had a reputation for not loving children...”
“Well, given that you’ve told me any number of times that you’re never having children, I would probably have to say that your reputation is richly deserved.”
“So, then, how do I change that?”
“You’re saying Tessa wants children?”
Carson debated his options: tell Ryan the whole story—or not? He decided to hold back. As of now, the baby was nobody’s business but Tessa’s and his. “Yeah, Tessa wants children—or at least, she doesn’t want to marry a man who doesn’t want children.”
Ryan made a low, thoughtful sound. “Just so we’re clear, you have changed your mind about kids, then? You really are willing to be a dad one of these days?”
“That’s right, I am.” And a lot sooner than you might think.
“Love.” Ryan’s tone was downright reverent. “It’s amazing.”
“When you’re through being awestruck, I’m open to ideas.”
Marriage, Maverick Style! Page 16
