She reaches behind her and pulls a tissue from a box. There’s quite a load of them crumpled up behind her. From the size of the heap, she’s been in here a while.
“I went and got the results. And I wasn’t sure what to do,” she blows her nose. My heart sinks. “The only place that I wanted to come back to…to hide…was with you. I don’t know what to do. Where am I going to go, Landon? This is the only place where you are.”
She reaches over and picks up a long, brown manila envelope from the floor. A twin of the first, her name is written on the front. The envelope shakes in her grasp. “I got copies of the results.”
“It’s not my baby, is it,” I whisper, the knot in my gut migrating into my throat. She begins to sob as I take the envelope from her.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t open it,” she cries. My heartbeat bounces against my ribs. “I was going to read it by myself, but I’m scared. I don’t want it to be Trent’s baby. I want it to be yours. I didn’t answer you when you called, because I couldn’t open the envelope. I thought I’d clean out your closet to try and calm down first, but then I found your letters…” She breaks down, bawling. I scoot closer, sitting beside her and wrapping my arm around her shoulders. “It’s not fair to you, I know it…but I can’t read it all by myself.”
“You don’t have to,” I tell her, squatting down beside her. “We don’t have to read them at all, Sher. I don’t want any answer that’s going to make you leave. We can just burn these in the sink, just like the other ones, and no one ever has to know anything.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I have to know. And so do you.” She rubs her face, hard, with the heels of her palms. “Just do it, okay? I’ve been sick all morning about it. Please. Open it.”
I nod. My whole life is ripped in two the moment I slide my thumb under the flap. There is right now, and two seconds from now, when we have our answer.
We. Let it be we, I think to myself as I slide out the papers.
I scan the legalese to the 99.9% accuracy line.
I read it three times, silently, in my head.
“What does it say?” Sher cries, searching my face desperately for an answer. I put the results down in the scatter of letters and lay her back on the closet floor. I wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“It says, we are having a baby, Sher. We are.” I kiss her face as she cries even harder. “And I’m telling you right now, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you don’t spend another day of your life crying, ever, ever again.”
I kiss her until her sobs dissolve and are replaced with the most tender moans of pleasure.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
Dear Landon Allen Grace Junior,
Today is the day you were born. At 7 lbs, 8 oz and 21 inches long, I’ve never held anything in my hands that was priceless, until now.
By the time you read this, it won’t be such big news, but right now, you’re the biggest news story of my entire life. You came into this world at 12:31 on the sunniest afternoon I’ve ever seen. The doctors said babies never come this fast, especially when the golf course is prime for a game, but you were in a hurry, I guess.
Now that you are here, there are things I want you to know. Your mother is my hero. After what she went through to get you here, when she insisted you be a Junior, there wasn’t anything I could say to sway her. I’m sorry about that. I’m not sure what you’ll think of the name, but it’s served me pretty well, and I hope it does for you too.
We decided to ask everyone to come to the hospital the day after you were born, so we’d have time with you to ourselves first. We wanted it to be just the three of us at first. We wanted to get used to being a little family. You made it easy. You are perfect.
The rest of our families showed up early the next morning, as soon as visiting hours allowed them. Actually, your Aunt Gina (my sister) snuck up an hour before and made time with one of our attending nurses. But after Gina, everyone poured in, both of your grandmothers, your six aunts and three monkey-uncles by blood, and then your Aunt Hale and Uncle Oscar, who are kind of responsible for bringing the two things I prize most into my life…your mother and you.
And that, my incredible son—as I watch you fall asleep in your mother’s arms—is the beginning of the story of you. The rest, well, your mom and I will be waiting for you to share all the highlights of your story with us some other time.
SPECIAL THANKS
Thank you, God. It is always about you.
Thanks to Mom and Dad, who is always there. I love you.
Thank you to Annie (A.M. Hargrove) who put me onto the giggle. Boobs you lots, my Annie Banani.
I couldn’t have gone so nuts without Kyle Provencher and the husbands of Lisa-Anne Samuels Moore, Amanda Heath and Aracely Patino Moreno. Thanks again for all your ballsy answers.
Thanks to Starla Huchton, who hides the chocolate and is always ready to shake the pom poms!
I know the best blogger babes on the planet and I want to thank all of them for being so incredible and always helping to get the word out about my work.
Table of Contents
Copyright
DEDICATION
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
TWENTY THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
SPECIAL THANKS
Full of Grace Page 19
