***
That was how that night started, and a night that would be tattooed into my mind forever. Unlike Jamie and I, who always stood on the side lines and sat at the furthest corner of the cafeteria in school, her brother Jason was the popular playboy every girl tried to dig their nails into. Jason had been eighteen then, a senior, and I was the nerdy, chubby fangirl who shamelessly swooned over my best friend’s brother. What made it even worse was, whenever he had taken a girl to his room, Jamie and I would sit and eavesdrop, and then mimic their moans and groans. But what started as a complete mockery eventually became the very thing my fantasies were based on. Not quite appropriate for a girl my age, but either way, I was fifteen going sixteen, hormones had taken my body hostage, and I was just an innocent bystander.
I remember it as if it was yesterday, I had gone upstairs to Jamie’s room to crawl into bed. The world had started to spin out of control, Jamie was passed out like a sailor on the living room floor, and I simply needed to sleep.
I passed by Jason’s room, tempted to knock and make up some excuse to bother him if he was in there, but I resisted. He probably wasn’t even home anyways. He was always out on a date with a different girl. He didn’t have time to notice me.
Turning away from his door, I forced myself to walk the rest of the way to Jaime’s room and closed the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I expelled a small sigh. Why couldn’t I get over this crush? I didn’t quite understand why I reacted to him the way that I did.
Shaking my head, I pushed off the door and headed for my overnight bag. It was definitely time to get some sleep. I stripped out of my clothes, down to just my panties. Even though my breasts were quite large now, I hated sleeping in a bra. Since I hadn’t planned on leaving Jaime’s room again, I took my bra off and tossed it on the floor.
I dug around in my duffle until I found my favorite sleep shirt. It was an old Pink Floyd t-shirt that used to be my dad’s. I had found it in a box of clothes marked for the Goodwill and had taken it for my own. It used to be so big on me, hanging down to my knees like a dress. Over the years, I had finally started to grow into. It now hit me just above mid-thigh. Which wasn’t too bad. It still covered my ass.
Now my chest was another story. Ever since my breasts decided to double in size over the summer, the t-shirt could barely stretch across them. Already threadbare from the numerous washing over the years, the material was so taut it was almost see through. But again, I didn’t think anything of it because I wasn’t planning on seeing anyone but Jaime.
I went to go put my retainer in its case. But it wasn’t in my bag. After throwing everything out of it and checking every pocket, I remembered that I had left it in the bathroom. I stood there for a few minutes debating with myself whether to go and get it.
I couldn’t sleep in it, and I really didn’t want to just leave it lying around. That’s how I had broken the last one and my parents would kill me if I ruined another. They weren’t cheap. I had no choice. I would have to go grab it real quick.
I hesitated wondering if I should put my clothes back on but that seemed silly. So, I cracked Jaime’s door and stuck my head out. Her brother’s door was still closed, and everything was quiet. Taking a chance, I raced down the hall to the shared bathroom. I shut the door behind me and leaned against the sink to catch my breath.
I admit, I felt a little silly at my reaction. I placed my retainer in its case and then I splashed a little cold water on my face to calm down. As I turned to wipe my face on the hand towel hanging against the wall, I heard giggling coming from down the hall. Followed by a male voice whispering and another giggle. The giggle was definitely female, but it wasn’t Jaime. Jaime didn’t make high pitched squeals…ever. I knew instantly that the sounds were coming from behind Jason’s door.
I waited a few moments until I heard the sound of his radio turned down low in his bedroom. Quietly, I opened the bathroom and peeked out. The coast was clear. I would still have to make my way past Jason’s door to get to Jaime’s, but knowing he had a girl with him. I knew he would be …preoccupied for a little while.
Tiptoeing into the hallway, I made my way as quietly as possible. I didn’t think they could hear me, not with the radio. But I didn’t want to take any chances.
As I approached his door, I saw that it was now slightly ajar and not as tightly shut as when I first passed. I could hear whispers and the unmistakable sounds of kissing. A pang of jealousy hit me. I wanted to be that girl. I wanted to know what it felt like to have his arms around me.
Jason never had any trouble getting girls to fall all over him, and it wasn’t any surprise. He was cut from years of playing sports. He was also quite charming and had the same twin dimples that Jaime had. It was an irresistible combination that even I couldn’t resist.
It’s not like I hadn’t been over when he’d taken a girl up in his room. Jaime and I would usually laugh and joke about it. That was back when we thought it was disgusting. But lately, I hadn’t found it disgusting. In fact, I had found it enticing. I wanted to know what it felt like. I wasn’t very experienced. Sure all of the guys in our class stared at my breasts and made crude jokes about them. But they still all preferred the stick-thin pretty girls. I was what you would call full-figured if you were being generous. Always had been. Though I would never admit it to anyone, not even Jaime, I was very self-conscious about the way I looked. My self-consciousness came across as shyness when around the opposite sex, so I’d never actually had a boyfriend yet.
Before I realized what I was doing, I was in front of his door and gently nudged it further open. Wide enough to see the mirror over his dresser. Which was positioned directly across from his bed. I had a direct view of Jason and the one and only Sonia.
I just couldn’t tear my eyes away. Had I been observant enough to know that the mirror also reflected the exact spot where I had been standing, I would have run for cover almost immediately. But I didn’t know that, and I just kept watching.
Jason took a breath from sucking on the blonde’s neck to yank her blouse open, buttons flying everywhere. The girl admonished him, but he ignored her. My entire body began to tingle and I felt hot as I continued to watch through the crack in his door.
She beckoned him forward slipping the remains of the shirt off her shoulders and tossing it to the floor. He stepped forward closing the distance between them. She went to say something smart, but he silenced her with his lips in a quick devastating kiss before he pushed her back against the bed until her knees hit the edge.
She fell back on the bed and he covered her body with his. His hands none too gentle has he grabbed her breasts through her lacy pink bra. She squirmed under his attentions and drew her knees up.
She was wearing a mini skirt so I could see that she was only wearing the tiniest of thongs. Her small rounded cheeks exposed. She gave a startled yelp when his hands slid down to her bare ass, before he slapped one side firmly. Did he just spank her? I was so confused. I had seen sex on tv before, but never like this. But then he was soothing the tender red flesh with slow massaging circles.
She sat up long enough to release the clasp of her bra, sliding the straps seductively down her arms before tossing it to the side. She had small, perky breasts with tiny, tight pink nipples. He smiled as he leaned over her and took one tiny bud in his mouth.
I felt my own nipples harden in response. Rubbing against the soft fabric of my t-shirt. It was uncomfortable in a good way. I wondered what it would feel like have his mouth on my breasts. To feel his tongue and lips on my nipples. I could feel myself getting damp between my legs as I fantasized about being the girl in there with him. I shifted my legs uncomfortably, trying to ease the ache.
I let out a small whimper before I could help myself. Shocked, I clamped a hand over my mouth and that’s when he glanced in the mirror directly at me. My eyes locked with those drop dead gorgeous baby blues, and he smirked at me.
I had run for the bathroom, frantic and embarrass
ed for spying on him so openly, hoping that he would simply ignore it and carry on with life as if I didn’t exist. But I would be so lucky.
He had made his grand appearance behind me in the small, confined space. He asked me if I liked what I saw, and of course I was speechless, or rather brain dead. I stuttered like a fool and the way his lips turned up and his brows had cocked in amusement had me grasping for straws. There had been nothing, not a single excuse I could have thought of quick enough that would save me from utter embarrassment.
But that was where things got a little interesting. Whether the fact that I, or any other person for that matter, had watched him, had turned him on, or whether he had this secret love for preying on innocent young girls’ emotions was another story altogether. All I knew was that it was the night that would change my entire outlook on the male gender forever…
“So,” Jason said with a smirk, “You liked what you just saw?”
“I…uh, I didn’t see… much,” I lied.
“Liar, you saw everything, you were spying me and Sonia for almost five minutes,” he smirked.
“Well… yeah, but… I didn’t see…” I was in the hot seat, caught red handed and there was no way to get myself out of this one, “You could have closed your door!” I retorted instead.
“It’s my house; I can do what I want.” he chuckled and stepped closer, then sniffed the air, “Were you drinking?”
Great! I had told Jamie that we were going to get caught.
“Jamie… well we had some whiskey, just a little.”
Jason laughed, but his eyes were full of mischief, he came closer until I was caught between him and the towel rail.
“Have you ever been kissed?” he asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Of course…okay no, I haven’t,” I admitted nervously.
“Do you want to be kissed?”
“I-um-no,” I lied.
Jason clearly didn’t fall for it; instead he bent his head and pressed his lips against mine. I froze like a statue, too scared to breathe or move. The persistent movement of his tongue tracing the seam of my lips tore my defenses down and when I finally gave in, I kissed him back. The kiss was clumsy; I had no bloody clue what to do with my tongue, or how to angle my lips. My nose was in the way, but somehow the kiss evolved on its own. Then he stopped, looked at me with another smirk, turned around and sauntered back to his room. And Sonia.
As soon as his door slammed shut, I quickly ran back to Jaime’s room. I grabbed a hairbrush off her nightstand and pretended to be brushing my hair when she came in just after I did. I feigned being tired and climbed into the top bunk. She turned off the lights and soon I could hear the faint sounds of her snoring as she slept.
I lay in the top bunk, remembering the way Jason had looked when he had spanked Sonia. I pictured him in my head, only it was me he had been stroking. I licked my lips and rolled my tongue in my mouth, his flavor was still there. It felt alien and different, but intoxicating at the same time. I imagined Jason smiling down at me, touching and stroking me as he cradled me in his arms.
***
I let out a sigh and stood up shaking my head, the memories of Jason were always so vivid, if only I could erase them. Time to get back to the grindstone, I told myself as I shouldered the kitchen door open and went inside to help Mac with the last die hard patrons.
Ally
“Look out!”
Mac’s loud cry brought me back to the present, just in time for me to catch myself before I collided with the beer distributor guy and sent us both crashing to the floor. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks with embarrassment as I muttered my apologies. The guy just shook his head at me as he rolled the cart full of beer towards the back of the bar.
“Go deliver those drinks without spilling them and then come see me,” Mac ordered.
Despite her diminutive size, Mac made an imposing figure. With her no-nonsense attitude and her surprising ability to throw grown men out on their asses, she was a force to be reckoned with. She was the perfect person to run the bar.
I was a waitress here at Hannagan’s; I had been for about two years now. It used to be a run-down biker bar before Mac bought it. She cleared out the roughnecks, remodeled it, and built it back up from scratch and now it was a respectable establishment with patrons from all walks of life. She catered for everyone from the blue-collar crowd to the middle-class runts that are looked down upon by higher society. She managed to maintain an upscale atmosphere without the pretentiousness. Mac ran a tight ship and didn’t take any crap from anyone. It also helped that she served a hell of a good drink.
Not wanting to incur her wrath, I quickly delivered the tray of drinks to my two waiting tables, apologizing for the delay before I made my way back to the corner of the bar where Mac was waiting.
No one really knew how old she was. With short, fiery red hair and bright blue eyes, she looked far too young to be the owner of a bar. But she handled the place as well as any veteran. Right now, she was glaring at me with her hands on her hips.
Despite her gruff exterior, I knew she was concerned about me.
Throughout my shift at Hannagan’s, I had been distracted having spilled two trays of drinks, thankfully not on any customers, but I did break three of Mac’s nice German beer steins, which would undoubtedly have to be paid for out of my wages, but that was the least of my concern, the thunder cloud hovering above Mac was far more intimidating than a few dollars from my pocket.
“What’s up?” I asked, plastering a bright smile on my face.
I tried to go for the carefree and relaxed approach, but Mac was having none of that. She just crossed her arms and cocked a brow at me. I squirmed uncomfortably under her direct gaze. She reminded me of Sister Clarence in Catholic school who used to just peer at you over the top of her bifocals and purse her lips. She could intimidate you with just one gaze and cause you to confess to future sins you hadn’t committed yet.
“I’m sorry, I know I’ve been a little distracted,” I stammered.
Her response was to snort in a very unladylike manner, “A little distracted? That’s an understatement kid.”
She unfolded her arms and leaned forward a concerned look on her face, “I have never seen you this clumsy in all the time you have been here.”
“I know I’m sorry about the beer steins. I will pay you back for them,” I apologized.
She just shook her head, “I’m not worried about replacing the steins honey. I’m worried about you.”
The genuine concern on her face tugged at my heartstrings. Mac had been like a surrogate mother to me since mine wasn’t around. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. How could I tell her I was distracted by the thoughts and memories of a man I haven’t seen for years? Someone I didn’t even really know.
“I’m fine. Really,” I assured her, fudging a little, I added, “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”
That wasn’t a complete lie.
“Is it college, do you need money, do you need another loan for the rest of the semester?”
I shook my head, fighting back the tears. I quickly looked away pretending to wipe an imaginary spot on the bar with my towel. Mac could be generous to a fault. I didn’t want to play on her kindness, but I did grasp at the outlet she provided.
“Yes,” I answered.
“How much do you need,” she asked before I could finish.
“No, no that’s not what I meant.” I quickly responded. “Yes, it is school. But no, it’s not about money.” Blowing out a sigh, I tried to play it off as the problem was with my grades. “I’ve just been struggling with a couple classes. I have a huge test in Supply Chain coming up and a paper due for my Business Ethics class.” That sounded reasonable right? “I’ve had a couple low scores on my last quiz, so I really need to do well.” It was completely plausible. However, if anyone bothered to check, they would find that I carried a 4.0.
She scrutinized me for a minute longer and
then nodded as if she understood.
“Well, if you need some extra time to study, I don’t mind rearranging your shifts a little.”
“Thanks, Mac. I really appreciate it, but I think I’ll be fine.”
Just then, the distributor came back over to have her sign for the invoices. Grateful for the distraction, I took the opportunity to sidle away from the bar.
“Hey,” she called my attention.
I snapped back around, worried that she was going to drill me some more.
“Why don’t you go restock what he just brought in to the cooler,” she offered, “It’s almost closing time, I can finish up here.”
Expelling a breath of relief, I just nodded to her and, grabbing a coat off the hook, I stepped into the cooler. The jacket barely went around my ample chest, but it provided enough warmth against the chill. Spying the boxes of beer in the corner, I went about verifying the inventory and then unpacking the boxes into the designated carts. We used roller bins to restock the bar quickly during the rush. We could just come back here, grab a cart and roll it out to the bar. They held 100 bottles of beer, which would get us through the rush until we had time to restock the bar coolers. The work was easy and didn’t require any real thought, which was opposite of what I need. With nothing to focus my attention on, my mind began to wander to Jamie and a certain dark-haired guy. I had thought about him only on occasion over the past few years, but today he consumed my mind.
Jaime and I had practically grown up like sisters, and now we lived together as roommates. We have always been inseparable when we were younger. I can hardly remember a time when one of us weren’t spending the night at the other’s house. We had been friends since elementary school. Jason was just a little over three years older than us and had always been more like an older brother to me. For the longest time, I had pretty much ignored him. That’s what little girls did with older boys. They pinched them, kicked them, made fun of them, simply for the hell of it. It wasn’t until I was in my teens when I started developing stronger feelings for him.
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