“I’m still here.” What was I going to say to her?
The Morgan’s were a wealthy family in America. They had influence. If they wanted to battle for Lilah, they might win. But I was also influential – I was a billionaire, for Christ’s sake. From one of the most influential families in Australia. I could give them a run for their money. I sighed, wishing it hadn’t come to this.
“Finn.” Jennifer spoke again. “We are going to fight for custody of her. She needs stability.”
“What about if things were different?” I hardly knew where I was going with this. I just knew I needed to pacify her.
“What things?” Jennifer sounded confused.
“What about if I can give her the stability?” I rushed on, not thinking it through properly. “Just give me a little more time, Jennifer. I will call you back before the week is out.”
“Finn…”
“I’ve got to go, Jennifer. We will discuss this further – I’m taking you seriously. Just promise you won’t do anything before I speak to you again, okay?”
I heard a heavy sigh on the other end of the line. “Okay. But Finn – it would have to be something that would set our minds at rest, permanently. Otherwise we will start proceedings. Lilah deserves nothing less.”
“I know.” I balanced the receiver on the crook of my shoulder, thinking frantically. “We all want what’s best for Lilah. Speak soon.”
I hung up, staring out the window. But this time I wasn’t seeing Melbourne’s streets. I was trying desperately to hatch a plan. They couldn’t take her. She was my daughter, the last piece of Erin I possessed. I loved her, and I wanted her with me.
I thought of Amber, the nanny, again. Saving for her tuition fees to her Ivy League school. She would appreciate extra money for that purpose.
I stood up, walking toward the windows. Outside, trams rattled east and west through the city. The trees wavered in the wind, and pedestrians were turning the collars up on their coats. It was going to be another cold winter. Melbourne was famous for them.
My little girl needed a mother. At least for a little while, to get Jennifer and Michael off my back. And Amber needed money.
The pieces of the puzzle were slowly slotting to place in my mind. But would Amber agree to it?
Amber
“Amber! Look at my dollies!”
I glanced over at Lilah, playing in the corner of the living room. She had set up a whole doll’s tea party, complete with tea cups, chairs and pretend cakes. She had done a great job. Every one of her dolls had a chair.
“Well done, Lilah bear,” I said, ruffling her little blonde head. She looked up at me, smiling, then became absorbed in her play.
I walked around the living room, tidying up as I went. It wasn’t really part of my job description as nanny to clean, but I found it made things easier all round if I did some basic chores. Jean, the maid, was at hand to do the back-breaking jobs.
I stared out the living room window, at the grounds. I could see the swimming pool in the distance, cover on in winter. The tennis courts looked a bit forlorn, too. I hadn’t seen anyone play in a long, long time. Since before Erin had died, that was for sure.
I thought of Erin, Mrs Ormond. She had been a warm and caring person, and she had made me very welcome when I had first come to Australia to nanny. I had been so relieved. I was a bit out of my depth, travelling to the other side of the world for work. I had been scared that the people I was going to be working for would be horrible. I had heard all the nanny horror stories going around.
But Erin had set my mind at ease, picking me up from Melbourne airport herself, and letting me rest for a couple of days while I worked through my jet lag. I felt a lump form in my throat, thinking of her.
She had been American, just like me. She understood how hard it was living in another country. Even though Australia was similar in lots of ways, and spoke English, it still took a lot of adjustment. And it wasn’t as if I could travel home for lunch every now and again.
I picked up a framed photograph on a table. It was of the three of them – Erin, Lilah and Finn. Mr Ormond. It had been taken two years ago, when Lilah was only two. They looked so happy, laughing for the camera, both Erin and Finn’s eyes on their darling baby girl.
But life hadn’t been kind to this family. I still remembered the day that it happened.
It had been a normal Wednesday. I had picked up Lilah from ballet lessons, as usual, battling through the Melbourne traffic to get her home before dark. Driving was hard for me, Australians drove on the right-hand side of the road, which took some adjustment. So I was a bit stressed when I came through the door that day.
I hadn’t checked my phone in a while, and was a bit dismayed when I saw five missed calls. But the voice mail message made my blood turn cold. It was from the Alfred Hospital. Erin had been involved in a head-on collision on her way home from work at her trendy little boutique on Chapel Street. She was dead on arrival.
They hadn’t been able to get onto Finn. It had been my awful job to tell him that his wife had been killed in a car crash. The next months were a blur of sadness. Finn had been so angry in his grief, using work as an antidote. We rarely saw him. He had always been a workaholic, but he took it to another level.
Then there were Erin’s parents, who stayed on after the funeral. I could see they were upset at how Finn was reacting. They wanted him to spend time with his little girl, she had just lost her mother, after all. I glanced back at Lilah, playing happily with her dolls. It had taken her awhile to get to this. At the start, she had been confused, and kept asking when her mother was coming home.
And then she had withdrawn, getting angry at me, refusing to let me hug her or kiss her. As if scared that I was going to be snatched away from her, just like her mother had been.
I was startled out of my reverie by the sound of a Lamborghini tearing up the circular driveway. What on earth? I strained my neck to get a better view. It couldn’t be, could it? Finn home from work in the middle of the day? It was unheard of.
Yet, there he was, climbing out of the designer car and racing into the house. He did everything quickly, that man. He had so much energy it almost made my head spin. I glanced around. All good. Tidying up as you went came in handy, sometimes – like when the boss unexpectedly came home in the middle of the day.
“Daddy!” Lilah abandoned her dolls to their tea party, leaping to her feet to run into her father’s arms. Finn caught her, tossing her into the air. The little girl chuckled.
“Have you been a good girl for Amber?” He asked her as he lowered her to the floor, tousling her hair as he did so.
“Yes.” She looked at him adoringly. “She helped me with my tea party.” She looked around at me, seeking my approval.
“She’s been very good,” I said now. “We were just about to pack up and have some lunch.” I looked at him, waiting. What was he doing here?
“Amber, I need to speak to you,” he said. “Could you get Lilah some lunch quickly, then we can sit down for a few minutes.” I nodded, a bit fearfully. What was this about? Was he about to fire me?
I started making peanut butter sandwiches, thinking over the last few days. I hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary – not that I could recall, at any rate. No, I was at a complete loss.
Lunch over, I settled Lilah down for her afternoon nap, and returned to the living room. He was standing against the fireplace, frowning.
“You wanted to speak to me?” My heart was in my mouth. Best to get it over with, if it was bad news.
“Yes.” He raked his hands through his dark hair, absently. I looked at him. I was struck anew by what an attractive man he was.
Finn Ormond was a billionaire, and dressed in the best clothes from Melbourne’s finest men’s boutiques. But it wasn’t just his clothes. He had the physique of a panther, long and lean and hard. Brown eyes in a chiselled face. Tall. He had a presence, you could say.
I had never been immune to that attr
activeness, but I had kept it in check. He was my boss, after all, and for the first six months of my work, a happily married man. I would never have done anything to jeopardise my position or to betray Erin.
But looking at him now, my heart skipped a couple of beats, and I could feel my face flush slightly. Best to be business like, I thought.
“Amber, I’m just going to cut straight to the chase,” he said. He turned to me, his dark eyes quietly assessing.
“I have a business proposal. One I think might be beneficial for both of us.”
I looked at him, expectantly.
But what he said next made my mind spin.
Finn
She looked up at me with her mouth wide open. I had shocked her, all right.
“You want me to pose as your fiancée?” she repeated. “For money?”
I laughed, trying to take the intensity out of the words. “Yes. We would draw up a business contract – it would be all signed and sealed, done legitimately. For an agreed amount, you pose as my fiancée for a set time. And when that time is done, you can walk away. With your money, of course.”
She still looked at me with that puzzled expression. “This is a joke, right?”
“I have never been more serious.” I walked over to her. “I know this has come out of the blue, Amber. I’ve shocked you, I can see that. Just think it over. But I would need your decision by the end of this week.”
“The end of this week?” She gasped. Then she looked at me, her eyes flicking over me. “This really isn’t a joke?”
“This really isn’t a joke.” I ran my hands through my hair, a bit desperately. “I have my parents-in-law breathing down my neck. They want to take Lilah, have her move to the States to live with them, permanently. I can’t let that happen. She’s my daughter.”
“Yes, I understand that,” Amber replied. “But what I don’t understand is how me posing as your fiancée would change that.”
“Jennifer and Michael think that I am not providing a stable home environment for Lilah,” I answered. “Because I work so much. If I could show them that I am settling down with a new woman, who will be like a mother to Lilah, then I think that they will change their minds.”
Amber frowned. It was like a little pucker on her forehead, slightly creasing her skin. I was conscious, for the second time that day, of how attractive she was. Suddenly, I could smell her perfume. What was it? That’s right. White Diamonds. Erin had worn it, as well.
My eyes slid over her, taking in her denim skirt beneath black tights. Stop it, I told myself. Get a grip. But I kept staring at her.
“Even if I agreed,” she was saying now, “I don’t think it would work. Or, it might work for a while, until the contract finished. Then what? Your parents-in-law will still be around, and know that the ‘engagement’ has ended. Then you’re back to square one.”
“By that stage, they will have moved on,” I answered. “Things will have settled down on both ends. They will see that my first commitment is to Lilah, and hopefully back off.”
Did I really believe that? Well, I had no other choice, for now. This was the best I could come up with on such short notice. And it was a win-win. Lilah would get a surrogate mother, and Amber would get a fat pay check to boost her tuition fees.
And what would I get? Looking at her, I wasn’t sure. A fake fiancée, granted. But instinct told me it could be more.
Did I want it? Was I ready for it? Erin had been dead six months. I hardly knew whether I had moved on, or not. I had buried myself in my work so relentlessly, I had no idea how I was thinking and feeling any more.
I hadn’t been with anyone else. Sure, I had some opportunities. There were always women who I could have called, or who made a play for me at bars when I was entertaining clients. I was well known around Melbourne, making the social pages in the papers.
Which is one of the reasons I hadn’t done anything. I didn’t want rumours to get back to the Morgan’s. They would be affronted, and I probably wouldn’t blame them. Erin had been their beloved daughter, after all.
But it had been six months, and they would understand now that I had moved on. Wouldn’t they?
“I don’t know.” Amber interrupted my reverie. “You’ve really caught me out, here! I wasn’t expecting you to say this when you walked through the door.” She shook her head. “I’m a bit shocked, I must admit.”
“I know it’s an unexpected scenario,” I said. How could I persuade her? “But think of the sum that I said. It would really boost your savings, enough that you could get back to your studies sooner. That’s your aim, isn’t it? And you already know me, and Lilah. It’s not as if it would be much different to how it is now, really.”
She still looked unconvinced.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, eventually. “I can’t say yes or no now. It’s too huge.”
“Okay.” I sat down, thinking. “That’s fair enough. But would you be able to give me an answer by the end of this week? That’s when I said I would call Jennifer back.” I stood back up, my energy returned. “I’ll have the contract drawn up in the meantime.” I grabbed my coat, ready to hightail it back to work.
She raised her eyebrows. “That’s a bit presumptuous, isn’t it?”
“Not at all.” I picked up my phone and keys. “Merely good business sense. This way, it’s ready and waiting if you say yes. If you decline, we just rip it up, no hard feelings. You are still welcome to stay here as the nanny, that goes without saying.”
I walked toward the door. “Think hard, Amber. This could be the ticket to your future.” I glanced back at her. “By the end of this week, I will need your answer.”
I walked out the door, jumping into my Lamborghini. I automatically glanced around the place, seeing what needed to be done, before I went.
Swimming pool needed maintenance. Gardens needed pruning back. I had to get onto David, the gardener. Then I looked up at the house, seeing if anything needed doing there. She was at the window, looking down at me. I could see her through the curtains.
Like a princess in a tower, I thought. Waiting for me. I smiled at her. She looked shocked, then smiled back. Twenty-three years old, with long, shining chestnut hair. Beautiful.
I took myself in hand, again. This had to be purely a business arrangement didn’t it? She was going back to the States to study. I hardly knew where my life was taking me for now. It would make things way, way more complicated than they had to be.
She hadn’t even said yes, yet. But the vision of her in the window and my strange thought when I had seen her stayed with me long after I opened the gates and sped off through the Melbourne traffic.
Amber
I watched him go, still shaken by what he had said to me.
Lilah slept on. Now was the time I usually caught up on a few chores, taking advantage of her nap. But I was so rattled by what Finn had said to me that I made myself a cup of coffee and walked out onto the balcony, sitting down at a wrought iron table. I stared over the manicured lawns and gardens, but I saw nothing.
I had to decide by the end of this week. The amount he had offered me had blown me away. It was more than enough to get me back on track with my studies. But it wasn’t just about the money.
Could I live a lie, pretending to everyone that I was engaged to be married to Finn? He had stipulated that I wouldn’t be able to tell a soul. Not even my best friend, Cara. Not even my mother or my father. Nobody. Otherwise word might leak back to the Morgan’s - and then it would all be for nothing.
I thought about how I would tell my parents and Cara, acting all excited. Would they see through me? I had done a bit of acting in high school, but no performance had ever been Oscar worthy. I wouldn’t be giving Meryl Streep a run for her money any time soon.
I bit my nails, an old habit that resurfaced when I was stressed. It seemed to be happening a lot. Then there would be pretence with Finn. He wouldn’t expect me to sleep with him, obviously, but we would have to act like a lo
ving couple whenever we were around other people, or out and about. It would be very odd having to suddenly act intimate with my boss. Although, acting intimate with Finn wouldn’t be too hard. He was such an attractive man – I wouldn’t have to fake it.
Jesus, could I do it? I mean, really?
I was a San Francisco girl who had surprisingly got into Harvard Law School, against all odds. My family could never in a million years have afforded the tuition. I wasn’t from what you would call a wealthy family, my mom is an office clerk, my dad a construction worker. They had saved for college for me and that had helped, but I still had to beg and borrow to get through the first couple of years.
Then it had all turned to shit. My aunt Natalie had developed cancer, and she didn’t have the medical insurance to cover it. I lent her the last of my savings, so that she could start her treatment. I had to give her a chance. She was my aunt, after all, and we had always been close.
I found this position through a college job website, desperately trying to find a job that would pay relatively okay so that I could start saving again. This had been the highest paying out of all of them. I mean, what else could I do? Working double shifts at the local diner wouldn’t have even paid my rent at Harvard.
I had squirrelled away most of my earnings, but that wasn’t hard. I didn’t know anyone here, so it wasn’t as if I had a social life. Finn and Erin had paid for my airfare. Board was covered, and so was my food. I had been doing quite well.
But Finn’s offer would boost my nest egg, magically. I would be able to comfortably afford my tuition. I shifted on the seat, staring up at the sky. It was a grey day; it looked like it might rain. And I was still no closer to a decision.
I would be stupid to refuse, wouldn’t I? I would have to pretend to be Finn’s fiancée. So what. I could do that. I was already close to Lilah, so that wouldn’t be an issue.
It was too good to refuse. That was the truth.
“Amber?” A little voice disturbed my thoughts. I looked around. Lilah was standing at the balcony door, clutching her favorite teddy bear.
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