by Casey Dawes
His hands shook slightly as he continued to read.
We know you hope the rest of your family will return to the States, but over the years, they have adjusted to Mexico. Jorge and Javier do well at their auto shop. Jorge recently became engaged. After all this time, it may be safe for you to come to Mexico for the wedding. The family would like to see you again.
He slumped into a chair, his legs suddenly weak from the effort of standing.
Juan worries me. He wants to join the vigilantes fighting the cartels. Your parents want him to get a green card so he can return legally to your country. It is what they want most.
Will you be able to help him? His safety is your parents’ priority.
Mierda! Raúl wanted his parents back, not to be responsible for his older brother.
He skimmed the rest of the letter.
Juan lived in the mist of Raúl’s memory. Ten years older, his brother had already been in the fields working when Raúl entered elementary school. The person he remembered had been a lean, rawboned teenager with an attitude.
Obviously, the attitude remained.
With a few more words, Tío Alejandro closed the letter.
No mention of his parents returning someday.
His shoulders sagged as he folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. He would have to change the focus of his attorney’s efforts. It didn’t matter what he wanted, only what his parents needed.
It was how family worked.
But he had no family. Once he’d left his brutal uncle behind, he’d lost contact with many of the extended cousins, forcing his childhood from his mind. For years, his drive to complete his studies and his anger at his situation had driven his life.
Now, only the anger remained. Any chance that he could recreate his childhood as an adult had drifted out to sea with the morning fog. He was an adult. It was time to create his own family.
• • •
The gravel crunched as Alicia pulled into the inn’s driveway. She reached the lot shaded by tall trees, turned off the key, and stared at the path that led to a peaceful garden that had been the scene of both Elizabeth’s and her friend Annie’s weddings. Soon Sarah would be married there, too.
Would she ever get married in that same peaceful garden? She wasn’t ready for the commitment yet, but she hoped sometime in the future she’d have a magical ceremony with the right man. Someone like her half sister’s fiancé, Hunter. With a sigh, she got out of the car and went into the inn.
“Hello?” Sarah’s voice wafted from the kitchen.
“It’s Alicia.” She walked down the hallway to the warm kitchen that was the heart of the inn.
Sarah was working at the laptop on the kitchen table, a mug of hot tea and a stack of receipts beside her. Her daughter, Hannah, played with Lego Duplos in her playpen, while the golden retriever, Daisy, lay next to it. When Hannah saw Alicia, the toddler lifted her arms and waved them. “Up. Up. Up.”
Daisy thumped her tail but didn’t move.
“I see she’s added a new word to her vocabulary.” Alicia picked up her niece and gave her a big hug. “Oh, you are getting to be heavy, little girl.”
Hannah gurgled and offered her a saliva-covered plastic brick.
“I think I’ll pass.” Alicia sat down next to Sarah.
“Just give me a minute,” Sarah said. “I’ve got a few more receipts to enter, and then I’ll be done with the books. For today, anyway.”
“No problem.” Alicia bounced Hannah on her knee while Sarah frowned at the computer screen and typed in a few numbers.
“Tea?” Sarah asked. “There’s more in the pot. Peppermint.”
“Thanks.” She maneuvered Hannah to her hip, got the tea, and settled back down just as Sarah closed the computer.
“What’s up?” Sarah asked.
“Are you implying I need a reason to come see you, hermana?”
Sarah chuckled. “No, but I know how busy I am, and you have a toddler, a job outside the home, school, and a grandmother. There doesn’t seem to be time for a casual visit anymore—at least not since these kids arrived to take over our lives.” She paused. “How is Luis?”
“The same.” Her lungs lost some air.
“What did Dr. Mendez say? Mom told me you went to see him, and he’s Hannah’s pediatrician, too. He’s hot, isn’t he?”
“Sarah!” Heat rose up Alicia’s neck. “He’s a doctor!”
Her half sister cocked her head. “And that’s a bit of an overreaction. Now I really want to know what’s up.”
She did not want to talk about the effect Raúl had on her whenever she saw him. Shit. She didn’t want to think about the good doctor in any way that included the word “hot.”
Sarah tapped her hand. “I was only teasing, but I want you to be happy, and the doc’s a nice guy as well as good-looking.”
“Sheesh, Sarah. Give it a rest.”
“Uh-huh.” She sipped her tea. “What did he say about Luis?”
“He said it’s too early to tell for sure, but he might have Asperger’s. They can’t do tests until he’s eighteen months old, though.”
“Six more months to go. What do you do in the meantime?”
“The doctor gave me a book to read. And”—Alicia stared at her tea—“he met me for coffee and answered some of my questions.”
“Oooh.”
Alicia glared at Sarah. “There’s no ‘oooh.’ Raúl’s trying to be helpful.”
“Raúl?” Sarah’s raised eyebrow punctuated her sentence.
“He told me to call him that. Please don’t read anything into it.”
“He is why you’re here, isn’t it?” Hannah squirmed in her lap. She helped her niece slide to the floor. The little girl toddled the few steps to her mother, where she held out her arms. “Up. Up. Up.”
Sarah laughed, picked up her child, and rubbed noses with her daughter, causing Hannah to giggle.
The tea turned bitter in Alicia’s mouth. Why couldn’t she have a happy, gurgly child like Hannah? Why was she stuck with an angry, defiant boy who would never get better? She swiped at her eye.
“I’m sorry, Alicia.” Sarah looked at her with sympathy. “It’s got to be hard. I’m glad Dr. Mendez is taking an interest, maybe even more of an interest than an ordinary doctor.”
Silence—the pregnant kind—filled the room.
“Did he try anything? I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but you’re a pretty girl, and—” Sarah frowned.
“No, nothing like that.” Would the situation be easier if he had? If he’d been something other than a nice man?
“It’s pretty unusual for a doctor to meet a patient for coffee.”
“Yeah, I know. I was hesitant at first, but I’m so desperate to find out what’s wrong with Luis ...” She shrugged.
“And?”
“I think he likes me.”
There. It was out. But maybe she was imagining things. Maybe the coffee date hadn’t meant anything at all, and Sarah would tell her she should get her head out of the sand.
“Do you like him?”
“I don’t know.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I shouldn’t even be thinking about a man like that—especially one who’s a professional.”
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Sarah got up and put Hannah back in the playpen.
“I only have a high school education.”
“You’re smarter in some ways than I am. I don’t know if I could have coped with everything you’ve had to do. You were the one who pushed for a relationship with me. That took a lot of guts.”
It didn’t take courage as much as not wanting to be alone in her solo pregnancy. With Sarah in the same single-mother predicament she’d been in, she’d felt a little less stupid.
The opening of the refrigerator door sent a cool draft into the summer-heated room. Glass clanked as Sarah removed baby food jars, reminding Alicia she needed to get back home to feed Luis.
“The real question is,” Sarah c
ontinued, “do you want to find out if there’s anything there? Sometimes love happens when we’re least expecting it.”
“Whoa. I think love is a big leap.”
“Love doesn’t always have to be a hit-you-over-the-head moment. It can start small.” Sarah plunked the jars on the table.
“Like you and Hunter.”
“Exactly. But you’re the only one who can decide if you’re interested. I mean, I think he’s hot, but you may feel differently.”
Why couldn’t Sarah stop saying “hot”?
Daisy got up and walked to her bowl. The slurping sounds of a dog drinking water echoed through the kitchen as Alicia sorted out her feelings.
“I’m not sure what to do. I’ve only known Eduardo, and Raúl’s totally different.”
“That’s good. Are you meeting him again?”
“I guess so. He wants to help me with Luis.”
“Just take it slow. You’ll figure it out. If he doesn’t behave, we’ll send in the marines.”
“You mean Hunter.”
Daisy lifted her head and barked.
“Looks like Daisy wants to come, too.” The constriction around her heart lessened.
“Hey. I’ve got an idea.” Sarah handed her a worn business card. “Remember I said I worked with a coach? Maybe it’s your turn.”
Alicia stared at the card.
Carol Eos. Mythology was one of the few parts of high school English that had stuck in her brain. Eos was the goddess of the dawn. If only the coach could help her create a new sunrise for Luis.
What would a coach know about living with Asperger’s? And how was she going to pay for it?
“I’m not sure. My problems are pretty big.”
Sarah smiled. “Yes, you have some difficult things to face, but one of your problems is as old as Adam and Eve. You’ve got guy problems, little sister, just like I did.”
• • •
When Alicia woke Friday morning, the house was eerily silent. She checked the clock. Time to get up.
Why wasn’t Luis fussing like he normally did after the alarm went off?
She slipped out of bed and crossed the room to his crib. He lay still on his stomach. A flicker of concern lapped at her stomach as she touched the back of his neck.
Warm, but not burning up.
Her son stirred but didn’t wake. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and drifted back to sleep.
The drive to the clinic was short but noisy, Luis voicing his disagreement with her actions the entire trip. Alicia prayed he’d settle down when they got there.
As soon as they walked through the doors, he forced his way down from her arms, toddled toward the fish tank, and plunked down on his butt.
Good. She could get checked in without having to struggle with him.
Eased of one burden, she faced another. Graciela was alone behind the reception desk.
Maybe overt friendliness would help. “Hi, Graciela. I’m hoping Dr. Mendez can squeeze me in. Luis is running a temperature.”
“The doctor is extremely busy. His schedule doesn’t permit visits from just anyone.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Especially doctor-chasing sluts with retarded children.”
Alicia gasped and clenched her fists. “What did you say?”
“You heard me. I told Eduardo how you were—always spreading your legs for guys. You said the baby was his, but the way you slept around, no one believed you.”
Fury colored her vision, and she fought against the desire to reach over the counter and choke the woman who’d once been her friend. She forced her voice to hold steady. “Luis is not retarded. Don’t you ever say that again.” She put her clenched fists on the counter. “Luis is Eduardo’s baby. I am sure of that. He was the one who cheated. With you.”
“I’ll say whatever I damn well please,” Graciela smacked a stack of files with her hand.
Alicia leaned further across the counter. Graciela’s hair was almost within reach.
Luis shrieked.
“You need to make him stop that,” Graciela said loudly.
“Is there a problem here?” Raúl emerged from the back hallway.
“Her son is making too much noise. He’ll disturb the other patients. She doesn’t have an appointment, and I know how busy you are.” Graciela tapped the computer screen, a false look of concern pasted across her face.
Raúl looked around the empty waiting room. “Well, there don’t seem to be any other patients right now, so I can squeeze her in.” His tone was stiff.
Another shriek from Luis echoed through the office.
Alicia rushed to her son, ready get him away from the meanness. Luis pointed at a clown fish emerging from a plastic log and shrieked again.
She felt Raúl’s presence before he spoke.
“What’s up, little man?” Raúl crouched beside her son. “Is the fish hiding from you?” He pointed at the orange and white fish flitting through the tank.
Luis shrieked again.
Her shoulders ached with tension. How would Raúl respond?
“That’s right,” he said. “Fish.”
Luis turned at the sound of Raúl’s voice, stared at him for a moment, and put his fingers on Raúl’s mouth.
“Fish,” Raúl said, his voice muffled by little fingers.
Luis pointed at the tank.
“Fish,” Raúl repeated.
Luis stared at the tank.
Raúl looked up at Alicia, smiled, and stood.
Her world righted itself. Graciela and her hateful words lost a bit of their sting.
“What’s up, Alicia?” He touched her arm, easing some of the headache that had started to pound.
“Luis has a fever.”
“Okay.” He held out a hand to Luis. “Let’s take a walk.”
“No.”
Raúl chuckled. “There’s that independent thinking again. Mind if I pick him up?”
“I don’t. Luis might have a different opinion.”
“Probably.” Raúl knelt down and said, “We’re going to check you out, little man. I’m going to pick you up and take you to another room, okay?” He grasped Luis around the waist, lifted him up, and walked back to the examining rooms.
Luis stared at her, mouth agape, from over Raúl’s shoulder. He fisted the doctor’s white coat but there was precious silence as they walked down the hall.
Raúl checked Luis’s vital signs so quickly, her son didn’t have time to protest. “Looks like he picked up the flu that’s going around. They’ve got some new saline solutions that are effective.” He pawed through some cabinets and handed her some cardboard packages. “The samples should get you through. Make sure he has plenty of fluids. Pedialytes, too. A few days and Luis should be as good as new.”
“Thanks.”
Seconds elapsed as Luis stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t move.
Raúl brushed a strand of hair from her face, his thumb grazing her cheek as he did so. “How about you? How are you feeling?”
A flame raced along the path his skin had touched. “I’m fine.”
“No fever?”
Unless you count the one you’re giving me right now.
“No. I’m fine. Really.”
“How about dinner tonight?” He stepped closer.
“I can’t. Luis—”
“Ah. True.” Raúl’s mouth drooped. “Hopefully, he’ll be better by the time we meet on Wednesday.”
“I’m not sure we should meet. You’re a busy man. And I ...”
“We should definitely do this. And more.” He placed his hand on her arm. “I want to get to know you, Alicia.”
Vocabulary deserted her. All that was left was the warmth of his hand on her skin. Her logical voice, very faint in the distance, warned her meeting the doctor again was a bad idea.
Was his affection real? Or would he tear her fragile trust apart?
She plunged past her fear. “I’ll be there.”
Chapter 5
Once again
carrying Luis, Raúl walked Alicia to the front desk of the clinic. This time she went first, giving him an opportunity to enjoy the sway of her hips.
Maria, the other receptionist, had joined Graciela at the front desk. He leaned over the desk. “Quick office visit,” he said to Maria.
Did Alicia have insurance? Probably, since she had taken Luis to Stanford. And it would not do to embarrass her in front of Graciela. Whatever was between those two women wasn’t good.
“Your next patient is waiting,” Graciela said. “The nurse just took her back.”
He glared at her. Something needed to be done, but Hadiya would be reluctant to let her go. Graciela was an excellent worker.
“I’ll be with her in a moment.”
Luis remained remarkably quiet while Alicia settled her bill. The boy snuggled into Raúl’s shoulder, stirring a familial tenderness from a distant past. By the time he handed the boy to Alicia, Luis was almost asleep.
“I’ll see you on Wednesday,” he said.
“Sí.”
She walked toward her car, her back straight in spite of the weight of her child. Mother love. He saw it every day, but it never ceased to awe him. Luis would never be a perfect child, but Alicia would stand by him.
He wanted to get to know her better.
It was close to five thirty by the time he was done. Lunch had been a rushed ham sandwich from a nearby deli, along with his fifth or sixth coffee of the day.
He really should cut down on caffeine.
Opening the medical records browser, he typed in notes about his last patient before calling Graciela into his office.
“What can I do for you, Dr. Mendez?” She traced a glossy red nail across the papers at the edge of his desk.
Her nails looked sharp enough to rip skin, like her words had torn at Alicia.
“Sit down. We need to talk about your behavior.” He clenched his abs to keep his temper in check.
Once his receptionist sat, her legs slightly apart, he stood and walked around the desk. If nothing else, his uncle had taught him how to make someone feel powerless.
She crossed her legs, her skirt inching up her thigh.
He forced himself to focus on her face. The heavy makeup enhanced the invitation in her eyes—a request he’d avoid.
