“Where’d they go?” I point my hands at their empty seats.
She shrugs her shoulders, “They either went to his place or hers. That’s all I got out of it. I told them I’d find a ride so they could leave.” Great, the ride home I had mapped out for her left. No biggie. I’m sure Seth would understand me having to take her home real quick.
I pull up to her dark driveway. “I didn’t expect to be coming back tonight, so I didn’t think to leave any lights on when I went to Mal’s earlier.” She explains.
“Shit Jes, I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting this to happen tonight and damn if I wasn’t looking forward to having you to myself again.” I bend over the middle console and pull her mouth to mine with my hand on her cheek. I can’t help the passion I put in this kiss. You can call it full of want or maybe it’s just the excitement that’s overflowing. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m falling for this woman. Who am I kidding; I’ve already fallen for her. I’m just not sure how to tell her yet. I think I’ll let her know just how much I care about her after our first big concert; the only one I plan on playing. That night is already going to be amazing for me, why not make it the best night possible by giving her my heart and claiming her body afterwards?
Chapter Fifteen
Jesika
I had just got out of the shower when I heard the doorbell. “Just a minute!” I yell. I hurry to towel dry my hair before digging through the pile of freshly cleaned clothes that are lying on my bed for the quickest thing to throw on. Once I am presentable I rush to the door. It was early afternoon on Saturday and I wasn’t expecting any company. In fact I had already dropped Jaxon off at his friend’s house for a sleepover and was about to start getting ready for Derek’s show tonight.
Tonight, The Rifters are playing at an arena type concert. Not the usual dinky venues they are accustomed to. They aren’t the main act tonight, but I know this is a huge position for any band to be in. I was so proud of Derek. He is the most amazing drummer I have ever heard and I’m not just saying that because I’m partial to him; I had thought that before I even knew the guy. There’s always been something about him.
Opening for a mainstream band is a huge opportunity for these guys and I know Derek is having an extreme case of mixed emotions. He had told me about him and Seth’s childhood dreams of making it big in a band one day. That was their ‘dream’. That isn’t something you can just take lightly when the possibility of it is actually coming to fruition. I would love to see him live out his childhood dream alongside his brother. I really believe it would be an epic experience for the both of them, but Derek likes to think he gave up on that dream six years ago. Once Emma was born to be exact, he’d give up anything for that beautiful girl.
Derek and I have never really talked in depth about his ex, or mine for that matter. I assume he actually knows the truth about mine though seeing that we live in a small town and he is a firefighter. That’s probably why he never brings it up because he wants to avoid the possibility of hurting me. The only thing I know about his ex is that she took off after having Emma. I’m starting to think that’s all Derek actually knows as well.
I glance out the window half expecting Mallory’s car since she usually thinks I’m incapable of getting sexy without her, but there’s a silver Nissan sedan sitting in the street in front of my house that I have never seen before. I’m slightly hesitant to answer the door because I really try to avoid random solicitors. Opening the door I can instantly tell this isn’t one of those Girl Scout cookie selling moms. Not really sure what this tramp is trying to sell on my front porch, but I’m not buying any of it. I’m sure whatever it is, it should come with an STD vaccination. Hell, I’m almost scared to get within touching distance; five foot rule. She’s definitely one of those chicks you’re scared you’ll get hepatitis from just by looking at. I mean she’s very attractive, but dressed extremely suggestive. She definitely gets around and isn’t ashamed to show it—she’s skanky and she knows it.
I quickly shake off my dumbfounded look I know is written all over my face before she tries to slap me with herpes.
“Can I help you?” I try not to sound like a complete bitch, but what she says next literally has me wanting to knock the HIV out of her.
“Is Jake here?”
My brows pull together in confusion. Where the hell has she been the past year and a half? Under a fucking rock? Then I start wondering why the hell a chick like her would be looking for my deceased husband. To keep getting pieces to this infested puzzle that is standing on my porch, I go along with it not letting her in on the big secret that apparently she missed out on.
“Umm, who are you and why are you looking for Jake?” I’m trying really hard to hide the anger and the weird sense of jealousy that’s pushing down on me.
She just smiles. “Oh, I’m Victoria. Jake and I go way back. There was a time we were really close.” Flipping her fake blonde hair behind her shoulder she continues, “We actually ran into each other over a year ago when he was visiting Ohio. Did he never mention me?”
I shake my head. “Ah, no. Is there a reason he should have?” I can’t hold back the venom in my voice any longer.
She sighs. “Yeah, actually I had expected him to clue you in on the fact that I had informed him we have a child together. I had told him when I ran into him that I planned on coming back here. I also told him that he should tell you. I can’t believe he hasn’t told you yet. Damn, that was over a year ago.”
What?
I’m going to pass out. I feel dizzy. I feel like the world is spinning around me and I can’t move. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to deck this fucking bitch that just ripped my heart out again, but hitting her isn’t worth catching a disease. I’m lucky if I managed to stay clean with her talking to me. Before slamming the door in her face and hoping her head gets hit by it, I yell, “Maybe that’s because he’s been dead for a year and a half you fucking cunt!”
BAM!! Bitch be out!
The walls of my house shake, mimicking the walls of my soul. This cannot be happening. My life has been amazing these last six months. Granted, it’s been because of Derek strolling into my life, but it has been amazing none the less. I don’t know what to believe. With Jake being dead, the last thing I want to believe is anything that will taint my memory of him—or anyone else’s for that matter.
Six months ago, Mallory would have been the first person I dialed, but since Derek didn’t answer when I called, she was the second person I dialed. She answered on the second ring and hearing that I couldn’t catch a breath to even tell her what the hell was wrong, she told me she was on her way.
She doesn’t even knock when she arrives. She joins me on the couch and I instantly crash into her sobbing. It takes me awhile to calm down and get rid of my hiccupping crying sounds that keep me from being able to talk. I drink the water she got me from the fridge. I take a few drinks and then pinch my nose and hold my breath to calm my vocal nerves that are going crazy in my throat. Holding my breath has always seemed to help me calm down.
After ten minutes of holding my breath, taking a few sips and then repeating the process all over again, I’m finally able to speak. I tell her everything, which wasn’t much actually, but the impact was almost unbearable.
Even though I feel and look like shit, I manage to pull myself together and get ready for Derek’s concert. Mallory, being the bestie that she is, mentions us just staying home and eating lots of ice cream and watching scary movies. There is no way in hell I’m going to miss this concert. This is huge for them and I’m not letting some skanky ass chick that showed up out of the blue ruin my night, or my life for that matter. That part of my life is behind me, but damn if the possibility of Jake cheating on me and possibly having another child doesn’t hurt.
There’s only one thing that can possibly make me feel better; Derek. There is no amount of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream or Freddy & Jason movies that can lighten my mood the way he does just by being n
ear me. And right now I crave to be near him. I just want him to hold me and make me feel better. He always makes me feel better. To me he seriously is a super hero, my own personal one.
I hate that I can’t be front a center to watch the sexiest drummer, my sexy drummer, play his first real concert. I want him to see me. To see how proud I am of him. As much as I love watching him play, and as much as it’s helping me clear my mind of the bullshit that was dumped on it not even three hours earlier, I need to see him, talk to him, touch him.
As soon as they finish their last song and leave the stage, I grab Mallory’s hand and yank her through the crowd. I know she doesn’t mind, seeing that she has a slight crush on Seth. Yeah, I definitely won’t be playing match maker with the two of them. They both have some serious screwed up issues, which is a horrible combo when both parties involved are emotionally jacked up.
I almost start sprinting through the throng of people that are all around the area behind the stage. I have so many emotions zipping through my body right now, and I just want to crash into Derek and never let go. It surely would make me feel better by sending all these feelings that were suddenly sprung on me sailing away.
I’m so close I can almost taste his sweaty kiss and feel his strong arms around my back, pulling me into his chest. As I turn the corner I stop dead in my tracks. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I must be fucking seeing things. There is no damn way that same slut that rocked my world earlier is clinging on to my man. Didn’t she already taint my memory of Jake by what she told me just hours ago? This bitch is about to get decked. I’m beyond the point of caring what I catch from this walking talking biohazard.
As I close the distance Derek finally notices me and breaks the closeness from her. He comes up to me and hugs me which I don’t reciprocate back. Noticing that I’m highly pissed Derek tries to introduce us. Ha! Little does he know I got one hell of an introduction earlier.
Clearing his throat he says, “Umm Jesika, this is Vic—”
Stopping him mid-name, I spit out, “Yeah, Victoria right? I met her about three hours ago.” I look her dead in the eyes and giving her my best bitch face.
He looks at me and then glances at her as if he’s expecting an explanation. Then he picks back up at where I cut him off. “—Yeah, this is Victoria. She’s Emma’s mom.”
Chapter Sixteen
Derek
Feeling a pair of arms snake around my waist from behind, the last person I expect to see was fucking Victoria when I turn around. Hell, the only person I expect to see or even want to see was Jesika. The smile that is plastered on my face and the high I was still on from playing our first real concert is instantly knocked out of me. Just like my breath was. Turning around to be face to face with the mother of your child who you haven’t seen in six years, six fucking long years, feels like a swift kick to the nuts. Honestly, I would much rather have a swift kick than to have Victoria strolling back into my life. My mind is suddenly flooded with the memories from six years ago.
Knowing Vicky, her intentions for being back in town after running off so long ago can only be bad. There was a time that she was a sweet, honest girl that I loved more than the world. She was everything to me and we had an amazing future planned out, until she got hooked on drugs. At first it was just random prescription pills here and there. She’d give excuses that she needed energy to get through school and of course, I let it slide. Her habit progressed really fast after being introduced to the hard shit by the girlfriend of one of our ex band mates.
That’s something I will always admire about Seth; he doesn’t put up with drugs or band mates partaking in them. We’ve both had first-hand experiences dealing with people we loved becoming addicts. It changes everything about them, not only their personality, but their outer appearance as well. It’s not fun watching friends and family members bounce in and out of rehab or jail for years until they either kick the habit or it finally kicks them down for good.
Vicky was real bad for a while. She went through an extreme crazy stage. Seth and the other guys had told me that she was cheating on me, but I never fully believed it. I was always the ‘if I didn’t see it, I can’t believe it’ type. No matter what she did to me I could never give up on her. It hurt like hell, but I pushed through it. I felt like I was to blame because she was brought into the band world with me. So, there was no way I could abandon her. I wanted to help her. I tried to help her. I tried really damn hard. She was doing so good once we found out she was pregnant. I finally thought we’d be receiving the life we always dreamt up for ourselves. I was willing to give up the drummer life for what was to become my family—I had even proposed to her.
After she gave birth, I could tell she wasn’t her normal self. I had just assumed it was those ‘baby blues’ you hear about. Boy was I fucking wrong. As soon as she could manage to get dressed and walk, the bitch up and left. Not to mention our daughter came out hooked on drugs. The girl had been lying to me the whole time, I was left there alone. I had no idea where she went, no one had heard from her. It was like she vanished into thin air. I have a feeling it was completely pre-meditated.
I was left in that hospital room a fucking bundle of emotions. I felt like a time bomb waiting to blow. I was so pissed and hurt that I couldn’t calm myself down. I was so close to bolting out of that hospital myself and letting someone else figure out what to do with my daughter. It wasn’t fair. I gave up my life’s hopes and dreams, and for what? To be a single father.
Since Emma had to stay in the hospital longer than most new newborns to monitor the drugs in her system, thanks to her wonderful mother, I left. At first I went home to search for any sign of Victoria, and found nothing besides the fact that all of her clothes were gone. So, realizing that she was really gone I did the one thing I can always do when I need to think, or not to think. I went to Seth’s to play my drums; which helped clear my head, along with the bottle of Jack. Seth actually helped too. He told me how I can’t abandon my daughter and how lucky she is to have me as her dad. I wasn’t so sure about that, but I trusted my brother’s judgment. He also told me I wasn’t alone, that he’d always be there for me and be the best uncle he could be.
I loved my daughter from the moment I found out she was the size of a pea in her mom’s belly. I knew there was no way I could just abandon her like her mother did. Hell, the only good thing that came from this, this woman, has been Emma. I’m very thankful that’s the only thing she gave me because I’m pretty sure she’s racked up a few little ‘friends’ that she passes around whenever she spreads her legs. Which, by the way she’s dressed, her extracurricular activities haven’t changed. She corrupts everything she touches, everything. She almost corrupted me and I’ll be damned if I let her corrupt Emma.
She’s attempting to wrap her arms around me in an embrace, but I pull back before she can. “What the fuck are you doing here Vicky?”
She smiles at me mischievously as her hands wander up my sides, finding their resting place on my shoulders. “I wanted to surprise you Derek. I’ve missed you baby,” she coos.
I push her away from me as I see Jesika making her way towards us. “You lost the right to call me baby when you left me and our daughter sitting in a hospital.”
“Speaking of our daughter, where is she? I want to see her.”
Surprised by her sudden interest in our daughter after leaving us six years ago, I brush past her without giving her a response. I have so many emotions running through me right now, that the only thing that can calm me besides a bottle is Jesika. All I want to do is wrap my arms around her and hold her. Maybe if I can do that, then maybe this whole nightmare that is standing behind me will be just that, a nightmare.
I bypass Vicky to close the distance between me and Jesika. She looks pissed, beyond pissed. I wrap my arms around her and she just stands there letting me hug her. Yep, she’s without a doubt pissed. I’m unsure why she’s so angry, but I can guaran-damn-tee the bomb I’m about to drop on her defini
tely isn’t going to help. The bomb I thought had exploded years ago that is. I’ve heard a shit load of stories about crazy baby mamas. Nick has tons. The fact that I’ve never had to deal with one had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. For all Jesika knows this could just be a handsy groupie chic, but by the hate filled gleam in her eyes I can tell that she might have a pretty good clue who this woman is. Somehow.
I’m all of a sudden extremely nervous as to where this is about to lead or take me and Jesika. We have still never gone into details with our pasts and I was fine with that. I know once she decides to open up to me that I’ll have to tell her the truth. The truth about the night her husband died. The truth about my thoughts the first time I saw her and every time afterwards. The truth that for the last four months I’ve known Jake had cheated on her. It’s not like I have lied to her. I couldn’t be the one to taint the image she holds onto of her dead husband. I wasn’t going to be the one she resented for opening her eyes to the truth. Why is telling the truth so fucking hard?
All I know is now I’m being smacked with the truth of my past on what was supposed to have been the best night of my life. Knowing there is no going back, I do the only thing I can do and introduce Jesika to the missing link of Emma’s life, the one who shattered my heart. This is the woman I know Jake cheated on her with, but I don’t have the heart to tell her. This woman who I know has some master plan concocted or else she wouldn’t be showing her heartless self around here, my baby mama.
Exposed: An Anthology Page 11
