I sat for a few minutes longer when suddenly it registered what song was playing over the airport sound system. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On played softly beneath the clanking of trays and the sound of chairs scooting across the tile floor. I laughed a soft laugh. As the song continued to play, purpose began flowing through my body.
I stood up and gathered my things, leaving the food at the table. I wasn't going to go to Dayton. I had a flight to change.
**********
I had to pay a hefty fee, but I was able to book a flight back to Vegas that left a couple hours later. My body was humming with nerves but I felt filled with excitement, the knowledge that this choice was right, singing in my blood. I was going to Carson.
I wondered if I should call Trilogy and get a hold of him before I just showed up there. But I somehow knew it would be better to go to him in person, to explain my feelings while standing right in front of him. He had been brave, as usual, and put it right out there that he wanted us to try again, to try for real this time. And I had pushed him away not once, not twice, but all three times he made his feelings known to me. I had a good reason–another person's feelings to consider. But still, it had to have been hard for him to lay his pride on the line and to be rejected. I wanted to look in his eyes when I told him that I wanted him too. I had always wanted him. If I had been honest with myself, I would have known as soon as I looked in his eyes again, that I had never stopped. Fate had brought us back together and I was going to hold on tight and thank the heavens above that we had been given a second chance.
As I waited for my flight to board, I took my phone out of my purse and dialed Julia's number. I knew Julia had taken the week of Christmas off so she would be home.
"Hey sis," she answered, "I thought you'd still be flying right now."
I cleared my throat. "I'm actually about to board my flight, Jules," I said, "um, back to Vegas."
There was a slight pause. "Why? Is everything okay?" she asked, worriedly.
"Well, yes and no. I broke up with Alex."
She hissed in a breath. "Oh, Gracie, I'm so… I mean, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm good, Julia. We… weren't right together. It took me a little while to figure it out, and I'm sad about that, but a little relieved too, I guess." I took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm headed home, and Julia, I'm nervous to tell you this, but, I'm heading home because Carson Stinger is back in my life–you know, the man I spent a weekend with almost five years ago. And he's not a porn star anymore. He's a SEAL, or rather, a former SEAL who now works in security, and I, well, he wants me, I mean, I hope he still wants me." I paused. "My behavior toward him, well, it wasn't awesome and… anyway, I want him too and I'm going home to tell him that. And I hope you all will forgive me for ruining Christmas, but I have to do this because he taught me to follow my heart. And I am, and he's my heart." I started crying at this point, but I couldn't stop talking. "He's had my heart all this time, Jules, and that scared me so badly because I didn't think I could ever have him again. But–"
"Grace!" Julia came over the phone and I heard the huge smile in her voice, but then I heard a little sob in the background.
"Am I on speaker?" I whispered.
Julia and Audrey started laughing and crying and talking over each other.
"Girls! I can't even hear what you're saying. Audrey, I didn't even know you were there," I whispered into the phone and then turned around from the corner I had gone into so that no one could hear my call. Thankfully, no one was close enough to hear my teary rambling.
Audrey's voice came over the line. "Go get him, Gracie!" she laughed. "Alex wasn't for you. We knew that when we met him in Vegas."
"Why didn't you say anything?" I cried out.
"Because, we didn't know you'd get engaged to him! And then we felt badly. We were going to try to bring it up this week. But it would have been hard because he would have been here…. We, oh, it all worked out! Go get your guy, Grace. We'll talk dad down from the ledge."
I laughed, but then groaned. "Oh God, Dad. Will you tell him how sorry I am and that I'll explain. Tell him I'll call him as soon as I can, okay?"
"Don't call him too soon. We got this. Give him some time. It'll be fine. But you know Dad. He blows up first and asks questions later."
"Yeah, I know. Thank you so much. I love you girls so much."
"We love you too," they said together and I could hear the tears in their voices.
I hung up and went to the restroom to clean myself up. An hour later I was boarding my flight back to Las Vegas. Back to Carson.
**********
I touched down in Vegas at seven o'clock that evening. I had been traveling all day and I was right back where I had started, and yet the course of my life had just changed dramatically. Alex had driven us to the airport, and so I took a cab back to my house to get my own car.
I wished I knew exactly where Carson lived. I would go there first to see if he was home. But if he wasn't at Trilogy today, hopefully they would call his home number for me and I could get in touch with him that way.
I ran inside quickly to take a shower, washing the day of travel off my body. I dried off and pulled on clean jeans and a black cashmere sweater and my black boots. I re-did my makeup and grabbed my coat and ran out the door again.
As I drove out of my neighborhood and toward Trilogy, a case of nerves attacked me. What if he had changed his mind and decided that he didn't want me anymore? No, that couldn't be the case, could it? Surely that wouldn't have changed in less than a week? He had said I was in his blood–all these years I had been in his blood. A thrill shot down my spine. He was in my blood too, and I could hardly survive one more minute without him knowing that.
He hadn't been with anyone else in all this time. A lump formed in my throat and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I considered the fact that neither one of us had had sex with anyone else since each other. I had half a mind–and plenty of hormones–to make that the first priority, right after I told him I wanted him.
Oh God, what if he had taken Kira up on one of her offers in the last couple days since he left my house? I wouldn't have blamed him, really. But it sounded like she had been making it known she was available before I walked into his office, and he hadn't done anything about it then. No, I couldn't allow my mind to go there right now. But my head was clear and the confusion and guilt that had been clouding things ever since I laid eyes on him again vanished. He was mine. And I wanted to be his. That was all I needed to focus on right now.
Except… something was going on with him and this case I was working. I couldn't figure it out and I knew that if things were going to go anywhere with us, we'd need to talk. Somehow though, that didn't feel like the priority. Suddenly, I knew with every fiber of my being that whatever was going on wasn't anything that was going to make me run. I trusted him. I trusted the man that he was. Despite the time and the distance, I knew he was good and decent. I knew it. And so whatever was going on, it would be okay.
I pulled into the garage at Trilogy and found a space. I walked quickly up to the lobby and then through the casino to Carson's office. With each step, my heart rate quickened and my excitement grew.
I rounded the corner to the hallway where his office was. The hallway was deserted and the door was closed. I stopped in front of it and took a deep breath and took a second to calm my nerves. I knocked lightly and waited. No answer. I knocked one more time, but when it became clear that he wasn't in, I bit my lip and turned around haltingly. I guess I would go to the front desk and find out if he was in at all–maybe somewhere else in the hotel or casino.
As I started walking away from Carson's office door, a tall, young, blond man wearing glasses turned the corner toward me. His eyes traveled over me and he smiled a warm smile. I smiled back and when I noticed that he was going toward Carson's door, I said, "Oh, do you work with Carson?"
"Yeah, can I help you?" he asked, stopping.
"Um, well, I don't know
. I'm looking for Carson, but he's not in his office–"
"No, he's gone for a couple days. He'll be back next week. Do you want me to leave him a message? I was just going to leave some other paperwork in there for him," he gestured toward his office door.
My heart dropped and my shoulders sagged, disappointment washing over me. "Oh," I breathed out.
The man was looking at me closely. "Wait, are you Grace?" he asked.
My eyes snapped to his. "Yes," I said. "How did you–"
"I'm Dylan," he said. "I work with Carson now, but I also lived with him in L.A., before he went into the Navy."
"Oh!" I said, surprised and still not fully understanding how he knew my name, but finding it interesting that another friend of Carson's worked at Trilogy.
"Well, it's nice to meet you Dylan." I smiled. "Do you know where Carson went or how I can call him? I just wanted to… tell him something kind of important."
He paused. "I do know where he went, but you won't be able to reach him by cell. I've tried a few times today and evidently he isn't getting reception."
"Oh," I said, leaning against the wall behind me and biting my lip.
"Okay, well, can I leave you my phone number so you can give it to Carson if you get ahold of him?"
He paused, looking like he was considering something. Finally he said, "This something that you have to tell him, will he be happy to hear it?"
I laughed slightly, holding back the tears that threatened. "I think so," I whispered. "I hope so."
He studied me again for a few seconds before saying, "Well, Grace, if you're up for a six hour drive, I can tell you where he is. I don't think he'd mind that." He smiled.
I straightened up. "Really?" I said, my heart picking up speed again.
He laughed. "Yeah, if I know my friend… yeah. What kind of car do you have?"
I frowned, surprised by the question.
"Um, a Honda Accord."
He shook his head. "Switch with me. I have four-wheel drive. Just take care of her."
He started walking back toward the casino and gestured for me to follow him.
I ran to catch up, asking, "Where is he exactly, Dylan?"
He looked over at me as we walked toward the elevators to the garage. "He rented a cabin in Snowbird, Utah. Wait until you see that boy snowboard." He grinned and held the garage door open for me.
"He rented a cabin to go snowboarding by himself?" I frowned.
He nodded. "That's Carson for you. We're all working so none of us could go with him. He hasn't been in the snow since he was discharged. He was itching for it."
"We?" I asked, referring to his comment, 'we're all working.'
He nodded as he stopped next to a large black SUV. But he ignored my question and instead handed me his keys. I took them and then dug around in my purse for my own.
I pointed up the row of cars and hit my electronic door lock, making my car lights flash. Dylan looked at me and nodded, taking my keys.
"Hand me your phone," he said. I took it out of my purse and gave it to him, and then he took a few minutes and programmed something in, looking between his own phone and mine.
"I put the address of the cabin he's staying in into your phone. You can plug it into my GPS when you get on the road. I put my phone number in there too, just in case you need to reach me."
I blinked at him as I took my phone back. I was beyond grateful for his help and his kindness, but I was confused. This was the first time I'd ever met this man. And if he knew my name, surely he knew that I was the prosecutor on Carson's, and possibly his, friend's case. "Why are you doing this, Dylan?" I asked.
He seemed thoughtful for a minute before he answered, "I'm not sure, Grace. But it feels right." With that, he smiled and walked off, calling behind him, "Drive safely."
**********
Carson
I threw another log on the fire, making it jump and crackle. I sat back down on the leather couch, lacing my fingers behind my head and leaning back. It was early morning, still dark out, and the temperature was near freezing.
I had always been an early riser, but after being in the military, it was a habit that was even more ingrained.
I had been snowboarding all day yesterday and my muscles were still slightly sore. God, I had missed it. And apparently it was just like riding a bike because after an hour or two, I felt all my skills return.
I felt a little bit guilty about enjoying something so much with everything Josh was going through, but Leland was right, there was nothing we could do right now except pace the floor. At least this was a stress outlet for me. And in the end, it would help Josh if we all were on our best mental game.
I looked over to the window and the first light of day was coming up over the horizon. I watched it for a few minutes as the glow increased, lighting the sky around it.
My mind went to Grace for the tenth time since I had gotten out of bed. I knew the ball was in her court, but it didn't stop me from thinking about her all the damn time. I didn't know what I'd do if she didn't contact me when I got back. What could I do, other than become a damn stalker?
I heard a light scraping sound coming from the front door and was immediately on guard. I stood up quickly and grabbed the gun I had brought out of the drawer in the table to the left of the couch. I didn't expect trouble, but it was always good to be prepared, especially with everything going on in Vegas.
I started walking quietly toward the front door when a knock came and a female voice called out weakly, "Carson?"
I froze. Was that… Grace? My body was suddenly on hyper-alert. There was no way. I had just been thinking about her–my mind must have conjured her up somehow. My heart started beating triple time, adrenaline shooting through my veins. I stuck the gun in the back of my jeans and walked quietly to the door.
"Carson?" I heard called again, louder this time. That was most definitely Grace.
I flung the door open, the sunrise blaring in at me, almost blinding. And there she was, standing in front of me, cheeks flushed bright red, her long, blonde hair wet and covered by snow, shivering violently, with one boot on.
What the…? I grabbed her in my arms, worry flooding my system. "Grace, what…? How?" I didn't even know what to ask first. My mind was going everywhere, questions firing rapidly through my brain.
She grabbed my face in her freezing cold hands and looked into my face, her eyes moving over my features. "I never let go, Carson."
"What, Grace?" I asked, confused and filled with worry.
She shook her head, trying again, "Never let go, baby," she said. "I never did. I never let go." Tears started sliding down her cheeks and she laughed out a half laugh/half sob through her chattering teeth as understanding lit my heart, making a lump form in my throat and hope blossom in my chest.
"I never let go," she repeated.
I scooped her up in my arms and carried her inside, kicking the door shut behind us.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Grace
Carson sat me down in front of the fire and took my drenched jacket off. He grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders. My teeth were chattering so loudly, I could barely hear my own thoughts.
"Grace, baby," he said softly, "what happened? How are you here?"
"I called it off," I said.
His eyes moved to mine and he stopped in the middle of peeling off my wet socks, waiting for me to continue.
"I was flying home for Christmas when I realized," I chattered out. I shook my head slightly. "I knew it all along, but… I just… I realized in the middle of the airport and I told Alex, and then I flew home, and I went to Trilogy to find you, to tell you." I was crying again.
He was rubbing my freezing feet between his hands now as he gazed at me, watching me as I talked, a gentle expression on his face.
"Your friend Dylan told me where you were and he gave me his car."
A look of surprise came over his face and then he grinned and shook hi
s head slightly but still didn't say anything.
He stood up again and walked out of the room, and when he returned a couple seconds later, he had a towel in his hand. He walked back to me and began tenderly drying my hair.
"Then what?" he asked gently.
My shivering had mostly stopped now and warmth was flowing to my extremities, the heat from the fire seeping into my cold flesh. I sighed and wrapped the blanket around me more tightly.
"As I started getting closer to you, I got distracted, and… I ran out of gas," I ended, biting my lip, embarrassed. "Just down the hill from here. I was able to pull Dylan's SUV to the side of the road and I walked the rest of the way."
Carson frowned at me. "You could have been hurt," he said.
I reached up and put my hand on his cheek, the slight stubble there rough against my skin. He closed his eyes for a couple beats, leaning in to it. "I didn't get hurt. Just cold. And I lost my boot a couple hundred feet from your door, and I didn't care. I just kept going because the sun was coming up and," I let out a small sob moving my face closer to his, "I told you the sunrise would always remind me of you, and it has, all this time, all these years."
He closed his eyes again for a second and kissed my lips gently and then kissed each one of my eyelids and my nose. "Me too. You've come to me with the sunrise all these years too."
I let out another sob as I found his full lips and rubbed mine over his, softly, not tasting, just feeling, soaking in his warmth, his presence.
"I never let go, but I still turned into a human popsicle," I said softly.
Carson looked at me for a beat and then burst out laughing. He smiled at me, his eyes twinkling. "On the positive side, I think I'm cured. No more cinematic therapy needed," he said.
I laughed and we both smiled into each other's eyes, warmth shining from his. The smile left his face. "We have so much to catch up on," he said quietly.
Exposed: An Anthology Page 181
