Everett shook his head, taking her hand firmly in his, sending a shiver through Tracy as she felt their union of spirit and body so clearly it almost made her cry.
“Not for humans, it isn’t,” he said firmly, his fiery eyes narrowing as he glanced past the shimmering island towards another rapidly expanding dot of light. “For humans the afterlife is what the myths and legends and prophets promised through the ages. Look over there, Tracy. Those are human souls. Pure human.”
Tracy gasped when she looked over at the scene emerging from that second dot of light. Everett was right! This looked like the heaven she’d imagined might exist, the heaven described in old myths and paintings, by folks who’d had near-death experiences, by every soothsayer and prophet throughout time. These human souls were laughing and smiling, some of them wearing the finest clothes, other strolling naked without shame like it was all a joke, some enjoying fruit and berries, others eating popcorn and candy, some smoking cigarettes, others doing pushups and jumping jacks. It seemed like everyone was doing whatever the hell they wanted, but the energy emanating wasn't evil. From where she stood it seemed pure and clean. No guilt. No shame. No regrets.
Tracy instinctively scanned all around her, cocking her head as she turned back to Everett. “But if this is heaven for human souls, then where is their hell? These souls seem to be enjoying things that they shouldn’t be enjoying, things that should make them impure! So if this is heaven for them, what is hell?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” said Everett with a slow smile. “Earth itself is hell! Earth is where a human forgets he has an immortal soul, is forced to confront the limitations of his body, is constantly being told that he is shameful, sinful, useless. And then when he gets past that struggle, he ascends to heaven, where he is free from guilt, free from shame, free from negativity.” His smile faded as he turned back to the island of Light, the place where the listless human souls of Shifters were milling about aimlessly like zombie-angels. “But for a Shifter, Earth is heaven! Earth is the only place where a Shifter can be in balance, where animal and human can be joined, be in eternal balance, enjoy the equally pure pleasures of the mind and the body, the spirit and the flesh.”
“But . . . but humans are animals too, aren’t they? They have to struggle to find that same balance between dark and light, don’t they?”
Everett nodded. “But the conflict isn’t as strong in a pureblood human. The conflict between its animal nature and the intellectual needs of the mind isn’t as strong. Evolution took care of that.”
“Evolution? Like how?” said Tracy, turning towards her mate as she remembered that this man had spent years studying, that he was a beast with a brain. But so was she, and she squinted as she tried to get her head around what Everett was saying.
“Think about it,” Everett said, putting his arm around her, his face beaming as if he was pleasantly surprised that she was curious enough to ask him to explain. It almost bugged her, and she frowned as she wondered if he’d thought she was some dumb bimbo all this while. Then she lost the frown and chastised herself for using the word bimbo. Just because a woman had boobs didn’t mean she was dumb. Besides, she was too fat to be a bimbo. 36-23-36 were classic bimbo stats. She was more like 38-32-43 or something awful like that.
Tracy blinked as she felt self-consciousness ripple through her. Was that even possible? She was bonded with her true mate, wasn’t she? And he was clearly attracted to her—shit, she could still feel his seed inside her, he’d poured so much up there! She blinked again, trying to ignore the strange mix of indignation and self-consciousness that was messing with her peace. Finally she forced herself to smile and listen to Everett’s explanation.
“Evolution has lifted humans past the needs of just the animal,” Everett said, his voice sounding annoyingly pedantic, like he was lecturing her as if she was dumb as a rock. “Think about it: Humans these days can be perfectly fulfilled and happy without ever having children. Sure, most humans do feel the need to reproduce, but the human mind has developed to the point where that sexual energy can be diverted into other meaningful pursuits. Don’t you know men and women who’ve chosen not to start families, dedicating their lives to some higher, broader purpose?”
Tracy frowned as she touched her belly, that image she’d seen earlier of her seven kittens coming back with a vividness that made her breath catch. She looked up at her mate, frowning when she saw how excited he’d gotten talking about some “higher” purpose of the human spirit!
“So you believe that wanting to have kids is a lower purpose? If a woman chooses to dedicate her life to raising children it means she’s some unambitious loser?” She snorted, pushing his arm off her as that perversely confusing indignation rose up in her again. “I thought you were a tiger, but you’re just another pig. Shoulda known.”
“Shoulda?” said Everett, his eyes narrowing, his face darkening, his mouth twisting into a sneer. He folded his muscular arms across his bare chest and looked down his nose at her. “Is that a word in the English language, Eliza?!”
“Call me that again,” Tracy snarled, feeling her bobcat come alive within her, the animal burning with what she could tell was the same perverse energy that was making her snap at her mate even though she knew she was purposely misinterpreting what he was saying. It was almost like she was itching for a fight. What was happening to her?! To them both?! “Go on,” she hissed, backing away from him and baring her teeth. “Call me Eliza again! I dare you!”
Everett had turned to face her dead on, his eyes blazing fierce orange, his tiger burning bright within him in a way that scared Tracy. “Say shoulda one more time,” he growled, baring his own teeth. “Go on, Eliza. I dare you.”
“Coulda, woulda, shoulda!” screamed Tracy, feeling her anger mount like she couldn’t stop it. It scared her as much as it confused her. Were they fighting?! About what? Was she crazy?! They’d just completed their fated bond! She was pregnant with his tiger cubs! They were bonded forever in a cosmic marriage, tethered by an unbreakable rope of golden light!
Then from the corner of her eye she sensed movement. She turned, her eyes narrowed as she faced that island of lost Shifter human souls. Those souls were milling about just like before, except for one that was standing fixed on the edge of the island, looking up as if gazing at the stars. As if by magic, Tracy felt her vision zoom in on the soul until she could tell it was a woman. A woman with dark red hair like flames that had died out. A woman with dark eyes that looked misted over and sightless, like she’d been blinded by cataracts.
Tracy frowned as a chill rose up along her spine. In the background she could tell that Everett had seen the woman too, so this wasn’t some personal vision of Tracy’s.
“What’s she looking at?” Tracy whispered, feeling her dread rise as a crooked smile began to break on the blind woman’s face.
Everett was silent for a moment. Then he reached for her hand and gripped it tight, his voice coming as a low whisper. “Us, Tracy. She’s looking at us.”
And just as he said it, the woman’s eyes flicked wide open, those cataracts disappearing to reveal green eyes that shone like emeralds on fire. She raised her right arm, that crooked smile widening as she pointed at Tracy and Everett like she could see them!
“Sinesta,” Everett muttered, pulling Tracy closer to his body as if to shield her.
“Who the hell is Sinesta?” Tracy said even though she knew the answer. This was the Black she-Dragon’s human side. “Oh, shit! We found her, Everett! We found her!”
But Everett was tense as a slab of stone by her side, his eyes fixed on the green-eyed woman who was still pointing at them. It was only when Tracy felt a strange pull that she realized Sinesta wasn’t pointing. Sinesta was reaching out. Reaching for that golden thread that connected Tracy and Everett. The golden thread that was now a bridge between Light and Darkness. An open road for someone who knew how to travel it.
Tracy felt herself choke as she watched Sinesta firmly grasp that golden rope and hoist herself up like she was a gymnast, swinging herself off the island, her sinister smile widening as she narrowed her green eyes at Tracy and cocked her head at a sickeningly unnatural angle.
“What . . . what is she, Everett?” Tracy whispered as Sinesta hung on that rope of light like some kind of mythical bird. As she watched, Sinesta began to change form, her hair turning bright red, her breasts emerging from her flat, asexual chest—heavy breasts with big nipples that were dark red and oozing with what looked like milk! The sight terrified Tracy, but she couldn’t turn her eyes away, staring in shock as Sinesta’s sex emerged like it had been cut into her by an invisible sculptor. “Ohmygod, Everett! Is she . . . is she giving birth?!”
Sinesta opened her mouth and screamed like she herself was just being born, and Tracy screamed too when she saw Sinesta spread her legs wide and push out a child . . . a child with one green eye and one gold eye, a child with the wings of a dragon, gold and green wings that were torn and broken, hanging limp from the child’s back.
“It’s Adam Drake,” whispered Everett slowly. “She’s reliving the birth of her son, Tracy! That must be when Murad tried to Turn her! She must have been killed while giving birth, and she’s been trapped in that moment of pain and joy, reliving it again and again until it twisted her into this . . . this creature!”
“So what is she?” Tracy asked again, watching agape as the child withered away into nothing and disappeared, leaving nothing but Sinesta’s mournful howl.
“I don’t know,” said Everett, and Tracy could hear the tiger in his voice. “But whatever she is, she needs to be put down. Put down before she finds her way to the Darkness. Finds her way back to her dragon.” He shook his head, slowly letting go of her hand as if he was preparing to Change to his tiger. “We thought reuniting Sinesta with her dragon would bring balance to the Black she-dragon, eventually bring balance to a lopsided world. But Sinesta is too far gone. What happened to her corrupted the human in her. She isn’t human anymore. Reuniting her with her dragon can’t balance the beast. It will only create a new kind of beast!”
Tracy felt herself torn as she watched Sinesta scream again, her breastmilk turning blood-red as she pushed out another child from her womb, another Adam Drake, broken and bruised, torn and twisted, dead before the cord was cut.
“It doesn’t make sense,” Tracy muttered, narrowing her eyes as she tried to understand what the green-eyed Sinesta was going through. “Adam Drake is alive and well. He didn’t die in childbirth. So why is Sinesta reliving something that never happened?”
Then as if the universe had heard Tracy’s question, the answer came flashing through in a vision so vivid that even Everett shouted in surprise. She watched as the vision grew so bright it was all they could see, and then in flash it was gone again.
But that snapshot into Sinesta’s past had been enough, and Tracy screamed as she understood. Then the tears came, and Tracy wept for Sinesta even as she smiled with the faith that everything was going to be all right. There was hope for Sinesta. She’d just been twisted by what had happened to her during childbirth!
“She didn’t know Murad was a dragon at all!” Everett gasped, looking at Tracy and then back at Sinesta. “So when Adam was born, she thought she’d given birth to some kind of monster! And she . . . oh, God, Tracy, she . . .”
“She tried to kill her own son,” whispered Tracy as she slowly processed the enormity of their shared vision. “Murad intervened! Or rather, his dragon burst forth and killed its mate to protect its offspring! Which means Murad’s Black Dragon isn’t roaming the earth because it’s all lovesick and moody as it searches for its long-lost true love! It hates its true mate for trying to kill his son! And Sinesta hates him back! There’s no chance for reconciliation! There’s no chance for balance! If Sinesta and her dragon manifest on Earth, the two Black Dragons will be at each other’s throats!”
The realization made her sick to the stomach, and Tracy felt despair cut through her like a jagged-edged knife. At first she’d thought she could just tell Sinesta that her son was alive and well, but Sinesta knew that already. She didn’t want her son alive and well! She believed he was a monster! She believed her mate was a demon!
“But what about yourself?” Tracy whispered without thinking, looking deep into Sinesta’s eyes. “What do you believe about yourself, Sinesta? You’re a mother. Does it matter if you gave birth to a monster? He’s yours, and it’s your fate to love your child no matter what. It’s your fate and your duty. There’s no escaping it, Sinesta! Accept your son into your heart. Accept that he came from your womb, that he’s a part of you. Accept him and love him!”
Sinesta’s head cocked the other way, her green eyes flickering as she looked at Tracy like Tracy was speaking some strange language. Again Tracy saw movement on their left, and when she turned she was astonished to see that vision of human heaven that she and Everett had marveled at earlier!
“Sinesta?” Tracy said, her eyes widening when she saw one of those human souls—a woman in a long, flowing dress, red hair healthy and strong, green eyes clear and focused. “Ohmygod, how can you be here and there?”
“Bloody hell,” Everett whispered. “Her human soul must have been split just like her dragon and human got split! A three-way split! After all, Sinesta wasn’t a Shifter! When a human dies, they go to that happy place in the Light where all human souls go. But Murad’s attack also Turned Sinesta in the moment of death, so not only did it create that Black she-Dragon, it also created some kind of semi-human soul that was trapped in the place of Light where unmated Shifters send their humans! ”
Tracy looked back and forth between the two Sinestas, understanding in a flash what Everett meant. “So I’m trying to reason with the wrong Sinesta?” she said, glancing at the human Sinesta and then towards the semi-human splinter of a soul that was hanging like a deranged monkey from that golden thread. “Wait, where’d she go?!”
“Bloody hell!” Everett roared, twisting his head around as he tried to find the dark Sinesta.
“Everett, look!” Tracy shouted, pointing towards where the human Sinesta had been looking up at them. Except now the human soul of Sinesta was walking away. She’d turned her back on them like she didn’t want anything to do with this drama. It was like she’d found her way to heaven, and so to hell with everyone else! “Sinesta, no! You can’t turn your back on this! You’re turning your back on yourself! You’ll never find peace if you don’t help us!”
“I’ve found my peace,” came Sinesta’s voice even as her soul twirled around in the light like it was dancing. “I married a monster. I gave birth to a monster. And I was killed by a monster. I’ve paid my dues, and this is my reward.”
“Tracy,” Everett shouted, grabbing her hand and pulling. “Forget her! We need to go to the Darkness and stop that other Sinesta before she merges with her dragon!”
“Good luck killing something that’s already dead,” said Sinesta, still twirling around in her peaceful little heaven. “Now shoo, you monsters. I’ve got to dance my way through eternity. Shoo, I say!”
“You’re the monster!” Tracy shrieked, feeling her anger rise as she suddenly understood that even this so-called “human” heaven was colored by her own childish notions about heaven being some place of boundless joy. Both she and Everett had been wrong. They’d all been wrong—even Sinesta! “You think just because you don’t have wings or claws or fangs or fur you’re not a monster? Hah! Look at yourself, woman! You didn’t know that Murad was a dragon?! Bullshit! You knew! You knew and you chose to deny it.” Tracy breathed deep as the words flowed like she was seeing it all clearly in her mind. “And that was the right choice, Sinesta! Murad was your fated mate, and you chose to look past the mo
nster in him, to accept your fate! But you were still just a human, still plagued with the guilt and shame of being attracted to a creature that anyone else would call a demon. The conflict broke you, Sinesta. You were a splintered soul before Murad killed you. Help us, Sinesta. Help us put you back together again.”
Everett had stopped trying to pull her away, and when Tracy glanced at him she blinked when she saw how he was looking at her. There was real admiration in his eyes, like he was moved by what she’d said. She smiled at him, blinking again and then turning back to Sinesta.
“How can I be put together again when I was never even whole?” Sinesta whispered.
“None of us was whole until we found each other,” said Everett, his voice steady and quiet, his body warm and protective as he stood close to Tracy and slid his arm around her waist. “All of us have many sides. Each of us is a complex being of both Light and Darkness. Finding our true mates is just one part of our journey.”
“So what’s the other part?” said Sinesta, her voice trembling as if she was allowing herself to open up in ways that had been closed for years, perhaps forever.
“Finding our place in the world,” whispered Everett. “Accepting our responsibility to not just our mates and family, but to our community, to the world, to the universe itself. That’s the responsibility of the Shifter, Sinesta.”
“But I’m not . . .” Sinesta began to say, frowning as if their words were getting through.
Taken for the Tiger Page 9
