by J. N. Pack
I shrug, “It’s just a cast I’ll be okay. It’s only for a little while, right?”
Halfway through Meggie comes back in. She’s smiling from ear to ear, “It’s so pretty.”
I roll my eyes, “It’s pink. I puke more attractive colors.”
She cringes, “First of all that’s gross. Second, pink is very pretty.”
Jaxon laughs, “If you say so.”
When the doctor is done, he gives me a list of dos and don’ts and tells me to take over the counter pain meds if the pain gets unbearable. Once we’re in the waiting room Tanner and Caelan meet us by the door. Jaxon looks over at Caelan and nods. Tanner blows out a laugh, “Really Meggie?”
Meggie smirks and shrugs.
Jaxon updates them on what the doctor said and Caelan looks like he feels awkward but doesn’t want to leave either. I find myself watching him even though I know I probably shouldn’t. When he catches me he just smiles. After a few minutes Jaxon gives me a huge hug and kisses my forehead, “I’ll see you tomorrow in the mess hall.”
I roll my eyes, “I don’t need a babysitter Jaxon.”
Tanner laughs, “Good luck with that. You know as well as I do it’s useless to argue with him.”
Jaxon pats Tanner’s back as he leaves the hospital. Tanner looks over his shoulder at Caelan, “Are you riding with us or is Mannex still here?”
Caelan smiles, “I’m with you guys if that’s cool?” and he looks at me. I’m feeling too good right now to oppose anything, so I simply shrug. Once we’re back at the dorms and I’m inside Tanner gives me a hug and Meggie walks him to the door, he glances over his shoulder, “I’ll wait downstairs.”
Caelan nods. He turns his attention back to me and squats down in front of me, “I don’t want to punish you. I hope you know that. I was angry, but I didn’t know everything.”
I’m too relaxed for this conversation, “And you still don’t know everything. When you do, you will still hate me. Tanner and Meggie will too. I’ve come to terms with that.”
He grimaces, “Well tell me then, what don’t I know that I need to know?”
I can feel the pain shoving it’s way back into my chest and tears burning my eyes so I look away, “I can’t. Not yet anyways. I will tell you, just not right now.”
He looks away for a second as if he’s thinking, “You want the truth Piper?” I glance up at him. “The God’s honest truth?” He looks like he’s about to pour out his heart. “Truth is I was ready to marry you that day. Then the more I thought about it the more I realized I wasn’t good enough for you. If you loved Tanner, enough to marry him I’d never be enough.” He stands his eyes never leaving mine. When he turns, I feel like he carries a huge part of my heart out the door with him. Leaving me to toss and turn all night long.
Chapter 14
I am miserable Friday morning. My English class is the only class I have of the day and I’m in agony the whole time. I drag myself back up the stairs to the dorm and throw myself on my bed careful not to thrash my arm around too much. My eyes are closed all of fifteen minutes when the door burst open and Meggie and LaLa come in giggling. I’m beyond tired, but I know there’s no way these two are going to let me crash. Especially since my brother made it clear he wanted me in the mess hall today. That means that our table is going to be packed with a whole lot of football players, which in turn means, more bitchy girls. I’m so not up for this.
“So… How ya feeling?” LaLa.
I glare at her, “Like shit!”
She laughs me off and rolls her eyes, “Ready for lunch?”
Meggie laughs without turning knowing full well I’m not ready and if I could weasel my way out of going, I wasn’t going anywhere near the mess hall. I love my brother and Meggie, but the two of them drive me insane.
LaLa looks at Meggie confused as Meggie digs through her bag. “Yeah, I can assure you she’s not ready and if she could get out of going, she would. But she is going. If I have to drag her ass out of here, she’s going. Then she’s going to come back a take a nap if that’s what she needs to do and then get dressed and go with us to the game and bon fire tonight.” She turns eyeing me, “Get it?”
I roll my eyes and flop back on the bed again.
When lunch rolls around I follow behind LaLa and Meggie as if I’d rather be anywhere else. I laugh to myself because I would rather be anywhere. The library would be great. As we walk into the mess hall everyone’s eyes turn to me and I want to crawl under a table and hide. At that very moment my wonderful brother stands with a huge smile on his face, “Pip? Over here little sister.” As if I didn’t see him and the group of people he’s sitting with. Tanner is grinning from ear to ear and Caelan is smirking. I can feel my face heating up and turn to leave, but Meggie catches my good arm. She pulls me towards everyone. My brother throws his arms around my shoulders leaning in, “Thought you were going to escape huh?”
I roll my eyes and take the seat he pulls out for me which happens to be between him and Caelan. I drop down and adjust the sling my arm sits in. I look up to see Caelan leaving the table. I watch him until Meggie draws my attention giggling at something Carlos is saying. I’m lost in this crowd.
I notice the exact moment Kenzie and her friends walk in the mess hall. The table becomes tense and quiets somewhat. My eyes don’t leave Kenzie until a tray of food is sat down in front of me. I glance up at Caelan who is now lowering himself back in the chair. He smiles and I fake a smile in return and whisper, “Thank you.” I toss a grape in my mouth just as Kenzie, Kayla and Lindsey arrive at the table.
“Hey guys!” Kayla.
Crickets.
“Ready for the game tonight?” Kenzie.
Dead silence.
Lindsey’s the only one with the sense to stay silent and keep back. When Kenzie doesn’t get a response and everyone continues the conversation ignoring them, she circles the table running her hands over Caelan’s shoulder just as he pops a grape, he stole off my tray, into his mouth. He rolls the grape around in his mouth chewing it slowly. Everyone had become quiet. Nobody was looking directly at them, but they were paying close attention. Me on the other hand, yeah, I’m gawking.
“Hey baby, miss me.” Kenzie.
I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows the grape, never once looking up at her.
I go to stand to leave and he hooks his finger through my belt loop pulling me back down to the seat. I don’t want to see this. I don’t want it rubbed in my face. If he wants her, so be it. I mean, who am I? There will never be a him and I anyways. May as well be her.
She lowers her ass to his lap, and I gulp. I lower my head and I’m fidgeting with my cast. His hand leaves my belt loop and drops to my thigh. He gives it a squeeze and I’m stuck staring at his hand.
All of a sudden, he jumps up dropping Kenzie on the floor where I swear to God her bottom bounced. Her eyes widen in disbelief as she stares up at him. Laughter fills the air around us and I hear Meggie snort and LaLa giggling.
“Stop fuckin’ stalking me Kenzie. I don’t want you. Pretty sure I made that clear already.” Caelan.
Her bottom lip quivers and after a second she turns to me and her eyes are glowing with anger, “You bitch.” She goes to launch at me and in that same second, I jump from my seat. Caelan throws his arm in front of her stopping her and I can feel my brother at my back. Tanner, Maggie and LaLa are on their feet on the other side of the table. She glances around and Lindsey and Kayla grab her arms and pull her away. She’s eyeing me and growls, “This ain’t over bitch!”
Meggie laughs bitterly, “Ohh, but it is bitch!”
She rolls her eyes turning and stalks out of the mess hall. I ease back down into my seat. My brother’s hands on my shoulders making sure I’m okay. I chance a look up at Caelan and he smiles down at me. When he lowers himself into his seat the conversation at the table goes back to normal. Everyone laughing talking and joking. Is that what it’s going to be like for me when I come clean? None of them are
going to sit at this table with me and laugh and joke. They sure as fuck aren’t going to defend me. My appetite is gone and the thought of forcing myself to eat is making my stomach do somersaults. I avoid looking at Caelan, but catch his eyes lingering on me a few times before lunch is over. I listen to the conversations going on around me, but I don’t participate. Every now and then they try and draw me in asking what I thought, but I can’t allow myself to connect with them, knowing that at some point down the road they are going to turn on me right along with Caelan and I will deserve it. Leaving the mess hall, they all asked me if I was going to be at the game tonight and knowing I really had no choice I nodded.
Four hours later, I’m standing in line between Meggie and LaLa waiting to get into the game. It’s the Homecoming game so the stadium is packed. Both sides. The weather had changed in the last few days. The leaves had become fewer on the trees and the temperature had slowly decreased to the fifty-degree weather it is tonight. I huddle into my cropped hoodie in hopes of keeping the cold at bay. Once we are inside the stadium, we stand beside the fence waiting for the team to come onto the field. When the broadcaster announces the rival team, the stadium is filled with boos from all around. Once on the field they quickly move to the far side of the field. The band then comes onto the field playing an offbeat version of Rockstar by DaBaby and Roddy Ricch. The whole stadium is chanting and cheering when the band parts and the announcer introduces our guys. When they burst on to the field with Caelan, Jaxon, and Tanner leading the way, the whole place goes insane. Helmets in hand they bump them together before separating to get instructions from the coach. I’m pretty sure Meggie deafened me in the right ear and LaLa in the left. Once things calm down and Tanner acknowledges Meggie at the fence, we make our way halfway up the bleachers and sit. I’ve never really been able to understand what’s happening on the field, but every time the announcer says something about number forty-four, number sixty-nine and number fifteen my eyes fly to the field. When the announcer informs us that we won forty-nine to zero the crowd goes wild and the band starts playing again. At this point I’m a nervous wreck and just ready to get the hell out of here. Don’t get me wrong I’m super proud of the guys, but there are way too many people here and I can feel my anxiety starting to get the better of me. I grit my teeth as I make my way out behind Meggie, who stops at the fence to of course talk to Tanner. This time I walk over with her not wanting us to get separated in the crowd.
Tanner smiles brightly, “WE WON BABE!” Meggie is smiling as he wraps his arms around her swinging her around.
“YOU DID! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” Meggie yells kissing him.
He smiles at me, “You guys can meet us at the bon fire. I’ve got to go shower and change. See you guys in a few.” I wave as he turns and jogs back to the locker rooms.
Meggie is grinning when she turns, “You guys ready?”
LaLa giggles and I groan. We make our way to the bon fire.
Chapter 15
Caelan
After quickly showering and changing I meet Tanner, Mannex, and Carlos in the school parking lot. I’m going to ride to the bon fire with Mannex. Jaxon met Shelby in the school parking lot, and we follow behind them with Tanner and Carlos behind us. It’s too quiet and it makes me feel kind of awkward. The feeling deepens when Mannex asks, “What’s going on with you and Piper?”
I drop my head back on the seat and close my eyes, hoping that would drop the conversation.
“Come on for real. It’s me Cael. What’s up with you and her?” Mannex. His eyes never turn to me as he pays close attention to the road.
I blow out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, “Nothing man… nothing. Maybe there was something before, but there’s nothing now.”
He does glance at me now, “Doesn’t seem like nothing.” He glances between me and the road a few more times before settling on the road.
I take that as a subject dropping remark and keep my mouth shut. Do I still have feelings for Piper? Hell, I don’t know. Maybe. Yeah. Probably. Do I want to be around her? Hell yeah. Am I scared of her secret? Somewhat. Do I think it will make me hate her? No, but I can’t lie and say that it isn’t bugging me. What could she have done that has convinced her that I will hate her? Nothing comes to mind. I guess I will have to wait until she’s ready to tell me.
Pulling into the parking lot at the lake, Mannex says, “Whatever’s going on between you two, be careful man… She’s not as strong as she puts on and I’d hate to see her when she breaks.”
I can’t bring myself to turn away from him as the surprise takes root in my heart. It hits me in that moment, he cares for her. Not like Tanner and me, but he feels the need to protect her. He cares about her well-being, doesn’t want to see her hurt. When he sees the wheels turning in my head, he quickly turns and climbs from his truck. I take his lead and climb out as well. I can hear Kevin Gates pumping through the speakers as we make our way towards the bon fire on the shores of Rocks Lake. The smell of the lake drifts past my nose and a flowery perfume along with the scent of fresh apples. I look to my left and see Meggie and LaLa lost in conversation. Piper is sitting on a log next to them staring at the bon fire lost in thought. Meggie keeps looking over at her, but she’s segregated herself off to the side. She’s not making any effort to be included. Does she really think she’s done something so horrible that we’d hate her? From the look on her face the answer to that question would be a yes. She heads lifts and she looks around, her eyes colliding with mine and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. She’s beautiful without even trying. Her bright green eyes darken, and her hair is draped over one shoulder. She’s wearing high waisted jeans that seems to be melted to her body. Fitting her perfectly in every way. Her cropped hoodie would show the top part of her stomach if she were to lift her arms, but she keeps them wrapped around herself.
“Hey man!” I look back at Kyle and Kurt. “Want a beer?”
I glance back at Piper, but she’s moved, and I can’t find her. I blow out a breath and turn back to them, “Sure.” Kyle hands me a beer and I pop the top sipping on it.
Jaxon and Shelby are walking through the crowd and I spot her just ahead of them standing at the edge of the water. She looks lost. Far from the girl I met in that bar, but I’m still drawn to her like a moth to light. When Jaxon gets to her it looks like they’re arguing. She looks tense and a tear drips down her cheek. Both of them glance in my direction and I feel like this conversation should include me. It’s obviously about me or has something to do with me, but they’ll both go to the grave with whatever it is. When Jaxon storms off and Shelby follows, glancing back at Piper with sadness, I decide then I am going to talk to her. She may not be ready, but it needs to happen. Her eyes widen when she notices me advancing on her and she turns her back to me.
Too late beautiful, I already saw the tears.
When I get over to her, I step around her so that I’m in front of her again. “Can we talk Piper?”
She’s tense and whatever happened between her and her brother had her on edge. She shrugs.
“What’s going on? What is it that you need to tell me?”
She looks away and I can see her trembling as she shakes her head, “I can’t.”
“Piper, I can see it eating you alive. Turning you inside out, just tell me.” I beg.
She whips her head around to face me with anger boiling in her eyes, “You in that big of a hurry to hate me?”
My eyes widen in surprise and she stares at me for a second before turning to leave. I reach out taking her hand in mine, “Wait Piper. Don’t go.” I pull her back around to where she’s facing me. I lift my hands to her face and make her look at me, slowly leaning in until our lips collide. I didn’t mean to do this, but when she went to walk away… I couldn’t let her go. The spark of life I saw in her eyes was all I needed to see the girl I fell in love with, in that bar was still in there. My beautiful Piper. Her lips are soft beneath mine and she leans her
body into mine. I drop my hands to her hips taking advantage of every second I can before she pulls back and jerks free from my arms. Her hand coming to her mouth as she stumbles back away from me. I reach for her, but she darts away. I could chase her and easily catch her, but deep down I know she needs the space right now. So, I give her what she needs… for now anyways.
I find Tanner, Mannex, and Carlos and join them. The beer in my hand is warm so I toss it in the makeshift trash bin and grab a cold one from a cooler close by. A little while later I notice she had joined Meggie and LaLa back by the fire. I notice she keeps scratching at her arms, but she tries to control it by holding onto the sleeves of her hoodie. When LaLa offers her a beer she quickly takes it downing half in one go. Tanner notices me watching her, “She’s fine. Meggie’s with her.”
I glance over at him, “Am I being that obvious?”
He chuckles, “Transparent.”
I laugh knowing I really don’t give a fuck how transparent I’m being, and he doesn’t care either.
I know the exact moment Kenzie arrives. She loud, obnoxious and pretty fuckin’ drunk. She’s stumbling around bumping into people showing out. Her normal bullshit. I notice the exact moment her eyes home in on Piper. Piper does too. She tenses, but she doesn’t move or say a word to anyone. Kenzie starts towards her and I start in that direction with Mannez to my left and Tanner following close behind. However, before I get to her Meggie’s eyes widen and I see the exact moment she goes from being cool to being on the verge of murder. She shoves past LaLa and Piper and I hear Tanner behind me, “Fuck.” And he shoves past us, but before he gets there her tiny little fist rears back and Kenzie lands flat on her ass. Tanner grabs her around the waist as she screams and kicks trying to get free. Mannex and Carlos are laughing, and I can’t help the smile that pulls at my lips. She’s insane, but it’s a welcoming crazy. The group follows him as he tosses her in his truck and climbs in on the driver’s side. He rolls the window down, “Make sure Piper and LaLa get home.”
