by J. N. Pack
I drop my gaze to my hands as my cheeks heat up.
He tucks my hair behind my ear and lifts my chin with his index finger. Our eyes meet and I’m lost in a time that this was okay. After a few seconds he grins, “I’m going to grab some food, you want anything?”
I wrinkle my nose and shrug. He takes a few steps away from me holding my gaze before he grins. He spins and walks over to a food truck. I watch as Tanner joins him. I haven’t taken my eyes off of him, when Meggie whispers, “Be careful with that one. I’ve seen you broken, and I don’t want to see that again.” I turn my attention to her. Her face is sober, and she looks concerned for me.
“I’d have to be fixed for someone to break me.” I glance back over my shoulder at Caelan who is talking to Tanner while they wait for food. I pull my lip between my teeth as a nervousness I’d been avoiding all night starts to take over. I turn back to Meggie to find her eyebrow cocked and her watching me closely. Before she can say anything more Caelan slides a basket of fries in front of me and a can of coke. My mouth falls open when I look up at him. He just smiles, “Eat something. Please?”
I look at the food as my stomach rolls, this may not be a good idea, but I eat a few fries. Washing the greasy yumminess down with the soda. I’ve eaten maybe a handful when I push the tray away. After eating we all walk through the haunted house. We follow the others hoping I can be a little more prepared if there is a clown ahead. It was a good plan, but it didn’t work out. I ended up huddled against Caelan with my head buried in his chest, jumping at the sound of everything. Once we are out of the haunted house, I am relieved that we are on the way to the car. I’m with Meggie and LaLa and we’re walking ahead of the boys. I’ve got Caelan’s coat wrapped around me tightly because it is freezing, and I’ve barely got clothes on. I glance back at the guys and Caelan’s eyes never waver. He lifts the corner of his mouth as he responds to something Mannex is saying. He winks at me and I turn around. When we get to the truck everyone climbs in and of course I’m left to climb on Caelan’s lap.
Chapter 18
Caelan
I reach my hand out and help her climb onto my lap. She’s tense at first, but quickly relaxes into me. She’s wrapped in my coat and leans back against my shoulder as she stares out the window. I can’t take my eyes off of her. She’s absolutely beautiful and has completely captivated me all over again.
Mannex hits a bump and she has to readjust on my lap, glancing over at me she apologizes before turning back to look out the window.
I look up and out of the front windshield only to come face to face with Tanner in the rearview mirror. His face is blank, but he nods. He’s terrified he’s going to lose her as his friend. More like family. They’ve been friends their entire lives and her secrets are eating them all alive. Meggie glances back at me and gives me a sad smile. They both understand the struggle and her stubbornness. They know this isn’t going to be easy for either of us. She turns back and cuddles tighter into Tanner’s chest. I glance back down at her and her eyes are fluttering. I lean over and kiss her cheek, “Get some sleep beautiful.”
Her eyes flutter up to mine and she turns curving her body around mine, laying her cheek on my chest. Her hand curled into the bottom of my shirt, just touching my lower abdomen. Her eyes drift closed, and a quiver rocks her little body. I wrap my arms tighter around her hoping to give her some comfort.
I love you Piper. I believe I always have.
That thought rocks me to my core. I love this girl. I’d do anything for her. Anything. Even let her go, if that’s what she truly needed. God, I pray not, because it would kill me to watch her go. Don’t get it twisted, it’d be the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but I’d do it if that was what she truly wanted. Not some fucked up theory that I’m going to hate her once I find out what her secret is. Nothing she could do would ever make me hate her. Nothing. I’ve just got to prove that to her.
When Mannex pulls up at the dorms I whisper, “Piper? We’re here.”
Her eyes flutter against her cheek and her eyes finally open all the way. I help her from the truck and climb out behind her. She starts to walk away and turns back to hand me my coat. I catch her hand and pull her to me careful to avoid her broken wrist. She gazes up at me and I wrap lower my hands to her hips. Slowly leaning in I press my lips to her only deepening the kiss after she responds. When I finally pull back her fingers press against her lips. Her lip trembles and I take her hand and walk her to the dorms. Once she’s inside I watch her through the glass door as she joins Meggie and LaLa going up the stairs to their rooms.
Over the next two weeks I try to get every minute I can with her. Every day we eat in the mess hall with our friends. Whenever I can, I walk her to class. One good thing, Kenzie has backed off, but I’m not naïve enough to believe she’s let it go.
Mannex drops on the bed across from me, “Sooooo…”
I glance at him as I continue to toss the football in my hand up and catch it, “Sooo… What?”
“So, I have a date!” Mannez says grinning from ear to ear.
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me, “What are we? Girls. Since when do we get giggly over dates?”
He laughs and tosses a water bottle at me, “Fuck off fucker.”
I smile and go back to tossing my ball up and down, “With who?”
His smile widens, “LaLa.”
My grin widens because they are just alike. If Mannex was a chick he’d be LaLa and if she were a dude, she’d be Mannex. “That’s awesome man.”
You couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He glances at me and his face sobers, “You and Piper good yet?”
My smile fades and I think my answer over a few moments before answering. “We are good, just not great yet.”
He smirks now, “Yet?”
I nod smiling, “Yet! But we will be. I think… I think I love her.”
His mouth drops open. He sits straight up on the corner of his bed, “Think? Or know?”
I roll the words around in my head a few times before saying, “I love her. Like really love her. Like I’d marry her today if she wasn’t so adamant that I’m going to hate her.”
“Woooow. That’s amazing.” He says still gapping at me.
“So, where are you taking LaLa?”
He smiles, “A little Italian restaurant off of La Vista.”
That’s a good one. They’ve got good food and the people are awesome. “That’s great, she’ll like that. Have fun.”
He leaves a little while later.
Caelan: Hey beautiful.
Piper: ummm hi
Caelan: WYD
Piper: homework
Caelan: Wanna grab something to eat?
Piper: Cael…
Caelan: Just food
Piper: I can’t Cael. Maybe next time.
Caelan: Next time!
I try not to feel the disappointment, but it’s hard not to. I need this to work out. I need her. I was devastated after everything that happened last time. I can’t go through that again.
Chapter 19
Piper
The last few weeks my anxiety has been steady building in my chest. I feel like I’m going to explode at any given moment. As much as I try to avoid the pills, they are what is keeping me going right now. They are the glue that is holding me together. It wasn’t that the last few weeks have been bad, just the opposite as a matter of fact. It’s just knowing that this is all going to come to an end that has me all in knots.
“The football team is having a poker night, so it’s just us girls tonight.” Meggie proclaims.
LaLa grins, “Fuck yes! So, we’re hitting up Z-Man’s party, right?”
Meggie laughs, “Ohhh yes! Mannex is going to give us a lift, he’s going with Carlos to the party. When I asked about the poker game Mannex just said something about he’s lost enough money.”
I tried to avoid their conversation by burying my nose in my kindle. If I keep quiet maybe they won’t notice me.
Yeah, I’m not that lucky. Just as the thought is finished Meggie dives on my bed. “What are you doing?”
I giggle as she digs her bony little fingers in my side.
“You’re not getting out of this. Nothing in that kindle is worth missing a night out with me without the guys around.” She lays her head on my pillow staring at me.
I laugh at her, “Oh you’ve never met Mr. Colton Carrington. He is worth every minute I spend on this kindle.”
LaLa starts giggling and Meggie’s jaw drops, “Nope! No ma’am!” She stands gripping my good hand and pulling me from the bed. “You are getting that sexy little ass dressed and we are going to party. If for no other reason than the fact that we haven’t done it in a long, long time.”
I groan but take the clothes she shoves into my hands. I disappear into the restroom and begin grumbling about the clothes I’m wearing. I’ve got on a pair of ripped skinny jeans with a cropped top that falls off the shoulders. It’s hot as hell, but I wish she’d let me wear my jeans. I’d be one hundred percent more comfortable in that than this. After pulling my hair down and running my hands through it. I throw on some mascara and eye liner with a little lip gloss and leave the bathroom. When I get out, she hands me a pair of heels and I just stare at her a few minutes. I finally take them after realizing she’s not going to give up.
When they walk out, I quickly throwback two anxiety pills and shove a couple more in my pocket, just in case. I follow behind them. They are already climbing in the truck when I exit the dorms. I watch Mannex snap a pick that I’m assuming he’s sending to his brother and I smirk.
When we pull up at the party everyone piles out of the car and disappears inside. I take my time getting inside. My hand not in the cast trembles. Inside Meggie shoves a bottle of Fireball in my hand. I open the bottle and take a huge gulp. I’m so not ready for this shit, but here I am and there’s no getting out of it now. I can feel eyes on me as I lower myself to the couch. I feel out of place and I wish I could just turn everything off. Stop thinking.
I swallow another pill. I gulp down a couple shots of fireball relishing in the burn. Meggie’s too busy dancing and hanging with everyone to notice I’m on the verge of a complete breakdown. I’m tired of feeling. After a fifth of Fireball and four Xanax, I’ve finally reached the desired effect. Everything is slightly blurred around the edges. My body is relaxed into the couch. My mind can’t focus on any one thing, so Caelan doesn’t have the ability to hurt me right now. I stand and slightly stumble. I catch myself on the edge of the couch. I make my way to the dance floor and giggle as I start swaying to the music. Running my hands through my hair feels amazing. I feel so free. I pull the bottle to my lips and take a huge gulp, chasing the feeling of feeling nothing at all. This was amazing. A hand wraps around my waist. The warmth as it glides along my skin is the best feeling in the world. Hands join the ones already there, intensifying the feeling. Taking me higher and higher.
Caelan
Mannex: NEED HELP!
Mannex: 1360 Kings Place… Shits about to go down with your girl.
My heart leaves my chest and I stand from the table quickly circling around to show Tanner the text and he too quickly stands from the table. It takes us all of twenty minutes to get there and my heart is in my stomach the whole way.
Walking in my eyes search the room until they land on my girl. Meggie has Piper at the side of the room looking her over while Piper sways to the music. Lost. Carlos has some guy pinned to the wall. Blood flies as Carlos cracks the guy again.
Tanner walks in behind me and his eyes instantly go to Piper and Meggie. A look of concern taking over his features when his eyes land on Piper. Him and I shove through the crowd making our way to them. I freeze when I see her. Something’s off. I make it to her and Meggie just as Tanner takes her face in hie hands. Meggie is panicking, “I don’t know what she did. She was just sitting there drinking.”
I shove Tanner to the side, and she sways. I steady her and grip her chin, turning her face up to mine. Her eyes are unable to focus and her body constantly sways to the music, like she’s lost in it. Hold on Baby, I got you.
She can’t focus on anything I’m doing or saying. My heart tumbles to my feet when I realize exactly what she’s done. Her knees go weak and I catch her pulling her into my arms before she hits the ground. I mumble, “I got you beautiful.” As she giggles tiredly. Her body hangs limp in my arms. The dude Carlos has pinned to the wall yells, “She’s a fuckin’ cock tease. If it wasn’t for your boy, she’d have had the night of her life.” Blood rushes through my ears and it takes everything in me not to lay her on the couch and beat the brakes off this mother fucker. Tanner jumps the couch and has him pinned nailing him over and over again. I wish it was me, but I can’t bring myself to put her down. I can feel the rhythm of her breathing in my arms and I’m terrified to put her down. I won’t allow myself to let her go.
Meggie’s attention turns to me, “Get her out of here, I’ll get them under control.”
I walk out the door with her held tight to my chest. When I get her in the car and get in the driver’s seat, I’m two seconds away from driving away when Mannex climbs in the backseat slamming the door. I glance back at him not caring that he’s here. She shifts in the seat and mumbles, “I don’t blame you for hating me, I hate me too.” As a silent tear leaks from her eyes. Mannex’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. I turn back to her and she moans into my seat and sleep steals her from me.
When I pull up at the house, Mannex and I both jump out at the same time. I snatch open the door to the car and pull her out. This is our moms house, when she’s out of town sometimes Mannex and I stay here or party here. She really doesn’t care. I carry her up the stairs to my room and Mannex follows close behind. I lay her on the bed and get the water in the shower going and let it get as cold as it possibly could. She needs to wake up. I need her to puke up whatever it is she took. I come back to the room and turn to Mannex, “You’ve got to get out. I’ve got to get her undressed.”
Mannex quickly turns his back, “This is as good as you’re getting.”
I blow out a breath and quickly pull her clothes off. I lift her in my arms and start to the restroom, “Get her a tee shirt and find some of my jogging pants Man.”
He jumps into motion as I climb in the shower under the freezing cold water with her in my arms. Her eyes pop open and she starts fighting me trying to get free. When I step out, I move her directly over the toilet where she purged her gut. She leans back on my shoulder as I hold her. A tear streaks down her face as she mumbles, “I just wanted to forget.” Her eyes flutter up at me, “I don’t want to feel anymore.”
I wipe the hair from her face pulling her head tightly against my chest. After a few minutes I wrap the towel around her tightly and bring her out into the room and Mannex helps me get the clothes on her. I lay her on the bed and pull the covers up to her chin. She sighs and cuddles tight into the blanket.
Mannex looks from her to me, “Cael, she’s got some serious problems. If you’re not willing to make them yours them step back. If you think there’s any chance that after whatever secret she has comes out that you will hate her, then back off. Let her go.”
I can’t pull my eyes from her, “I can’t do that. I’ve already forgiven whatever it is she thinks she’s done; she just doesn’t know it yet.”
Mannex’s lowers his chin and pulls the door shut behind him as I climb in the bed behind her. I pull her back flat against my stomach and wrap my arms around her. I spend ninety percent of the night listening to her breathe. With every breath she takes, the tightness in my chest eases. At some point she turns burying her face into my chest breathing me in. Her hand holds tight to my side and she curls into me. When she is settled, I wrap my arms back around her.
I fall asleep at some point and am woke to her curled into a ball crying in her sleep. She has her middle wrapped tightly in her arms and shivers rock her body. I pull the covers back around her and curl
s his body back around hers. The shivering stops instantly, and she sighs as sleep takes her again.
Chapter 20
Piper
I glance down at the white gown draping my body. A shiver runs the length of my spine. I look around the room and there are people walking around, but they don’t see me. I look at the end of the altar and Caelan stands there with my father. Caelan looks miserable and my father looks angry. His anger pointed in my direction. Tanner is standing to the right of Caelan with Meggie at his side. I start moving towards them and try to stop, but I had no control over my body. I was moving and nothing I tried to stop worked. Once there Caelan takes my hand and the preacher starts the service. There’s an interruption from behind and I turn to see Kenzie skipping down the aisle towards us. Caelan smiles when he sees her. She hands him a picture and he looks at me as if he could kill me. He drops the picture to the floor and turns leaving me standing at the altar. Everyone one by one follows him leaving me standing alone at the altar. I squat and pick up the picture. My heart coming to a complete standstill in my chest…
I jerk into a sitting position with sweat pouring from my body. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and my body is shaking all over. I glance around and don’t recognize where I’m at. It looks to be a nice home, but not one that I recognize. I lift the blanket and don’t recognize the clothes that I’m wearing either. My head is killing me, and I need to get out of here. What the fuck did I do? Yet, another thing Caelan is going to hate me for. Why is that the only concern I have at this very moment. A moment when I need to get the hell out of here before whoever lives here comes back.
I climb from the bed, but I’m unable to find my clothes. I garb my phone and text Meggie.
Piper: I need help. Can you ping my location and come get me?
She never responds. I guess I’m on my own. I sneak into the hallway and after finding a staircase I take it to the bottom floor. I see the front door when I hear the distinct sound of Meggie’s laughter coming from another room. So, I follow that. I walk into the kitchen tucking my hair behind my left ear. I hear someone clear their throat and finally look up. Mannex is at a huge stove cooking something that smells mouthwatering. Meggie is sitting at a bar with Tanner standing behind her with his hand on her hip. Caelan is leaned against the counter with a coffee cup in his hand stopped midway to his lips. He eases it back to the counter and comes around the counter leading me to a bar stool beside Meggie. There is a glass of orange juice and some ibuprofen in front of me. I take the pills no questions asked. A minutes later Mannex turns sliding a plate in front of me. He smiles when I look up at him. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
