Thinking about the things I had almost done in that hospital room had my cheeks heating up like they always seemed to do when I thought about Max.
I had him at my mercy, and it had seemed like a good idea at the time, considering how he had gotten one over on me previously, but he was too injured. The interest was there, no way of hiding that, but I changed my mind after his first grunt of pain. It was inappropriate for me to be so selfish, so I uncuffed his good arm and let him loose. I think he might be mad at me now though, he hasn’t really talked to me in almost two months.
Okay, that’s not true, I’ve seen him and spoke with him—but we haven’t talked. About the two of us and the weirdness of our relationship. If relationship is what it could be called.
It was driving me crazy.
He’s been around. He had a sling on his arm for a few weeks after his surgery and couldn’t drive or get around very well, but he moved out of Jean’s house as soon as he was able and I don’t know where he’s staying now. Agent Knox wasn’t kidding when he said we had to stay close. It had been an incessant barrage of questioning for the last few weeks. Thankfully, between support from Agent Knox, and my testimony, it was looking like there was enough evidence to keep Steven locked away for a good long while. I had temporary custody of Denny, but there were some changes that needed to be made before I could make that permanent.
I needed a stable home for one. I needed a steady stream of income to maintain that home as well, and working part-time at the only dive bar in Pemberville wasn’t going too far in helping me achieve that. The work I did with Jean, helping those women, that wasn’t something I made money from. I did it because it was the right thing to do and because Jean helped me when I needed it as well.
I had stayed close to town because I couldn’t bear to leave Denny. Now I guess my options were more open, but I still had no idea what to do. Did I try to find another job away from this small town? Or did I try to stick around and make things work with the limited opportunities available? I knew Denny would want to stay. He was a little boy with school and friends, and now that he was out of Stevens’s control, he could be free to enjoy everything there was about being a little boy.
It wasn’t that Max was ignoring me. Actually, it was the opposite. I talked to him just about every day, but it was mostly about Denny. I would never have guessed how attached Max could get to a child, but those two were thick as thieves. I don’t know why I would be surprised though, nothing about Max was normal. I couldn’t take anything at face value when it came to him; it was part of the reason I liked him so much.
Max was a huge, rough looking biker. He was a walking, talking stereotype and did nothing to change that image. People were legitimately afraid of him, at least, people that didn’t know him. I’d known for a while that he was a different sort of man, and I didn’t even need to witness Jean’s absolute trust in him to make that decision for myself. Max was kind. Sure he said the word “fuck” a lot, but he always put others first. He was always available for Jean whenever she needed, and I knew all about the money he donated back to the guys in the AOG. I didn’t ask about the work he did, I didn’t have any illusions that he did what he had to do, but Max had a moral code that he lived by. I knew it, I just wish other people could see it too.
Although maybe I didn’t. Just thinking about any other woman feeling the same way I did about Max made my chest tight. I’d had a crush on Max ever since I first saw him, even before he grabbed my injured arm on accident, and before I punched him in the crotch. I had been nervous around him before. There was really no recovery after that.
I swear I have a good heart most days, but my attitude could use some work. I knew it. Max knew it. Jean knew it too. I could have really used Jean, as I busied myself around the empty kitchen, wiping down counters that weren’t even dirty for about the fourth time that day. She usually kept me calm during moments like these, she was clear-headed and rational in ways that I wasn’t. But she was up in Detroit for a week helping her son and daughter in law with the new baby, and I was home alone in the big empty farmhouse, waiting for Max to bring Denny home from whatever the hell secret stuff they were up to.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want Denny hanging out with Max. Hell, I trusted Max with his life—with both of our lives. I just wanted Max to pay more attention to me. Like, we had some stuff to work out between the two of us. What the hell were we even doing anyway? We weren’t in a relationship, not really. I mean, I wanted to be, but did Max? I wasn’t the kind of girl who just messed around with a guy for fun. I’m no virgin, but Max was special. Was I special to him too? Did he think about me like I thought about him? Was he going nuts like I was trying to figure out what to call our relationship? Did I have a reason to stick around in this podunk town and try to scratch out a living with Denny, or should I leave and try to find a busier place with more opportunity? Was Max even planning on staying in Pemberville or would he bail as soon as the investigation was over? Where was he living now anyway, and where was he taking Denny every day after school? So many damn questions, I was going to lose my mind!
A shotgun blast outside the front door startled the hell out of me and I dropped the kitchen towel I had been holding. It took three seconds to calm down enough to realize it wasn’t a gunshot at all, but Max’s piece of crap truck pulling up the driveway. I’d asked him why he bought what had to have been the oldest, most abused pickup truck on the lot, but he’d just smiled and said, “I don’t need it to be pretty. I just need it to carry stuff.” I wanted to ask what stuff he needed it to carry but he had didn’t look like he was going to say any more about it, and I was too nervous to push for extra conversation. I was trying to work on my people skills, but when I was around Max I always seemed to say the wrong thing. I just wanted him to look at me, but he was so distracted lately. Just showing up to pick up Denny for a few hours and then drop him off when it got dark.
I’d tried to ask Denny about where he went with Max and what he was doing, but he only gave me a disgruntled look and said, “Man stuff.” Jean would laugh and tell me to relax, but it was easier for her to say then since apparently everyone knew what was going on besides me. For weeks it felt like I was slowly being pushed out of their chummy little circle and it was seriously pissing me off. Jean wasn’t here anymore to be the voice of reason and calm me down. I wanted to know what was going on, and I was going to find out. Right now.
Normally Max just dropped Denny off and didn’t come into the house. I don’t know why he did it, was it me? Did he not want to see my face and that was why he usually just pulled out of the driveway and left as soon as Denny got back into the house? They were ridiculous thoughts, but since I was left alone with them most of the time, it was easy to let them overtake me. I tried not to Denny see my anxiety, so I plastered a smile on my face as Denny walked into the kitchen. This time was different though, as I heard the heavy steps of Max’s thick-soled boots on the floor behind him. His large frame filled up the empty space of the kitchen, and I forgot what I was thinking as I stared at him.
God, I missed his face.
His stupid, handsome face.
I must have been looking too long because his lips curled into a slow smile and he winked at me, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners like he knew what I was thinking even though I hadn’t said anything. I hurriedly glanced away, embarrassed at being caught, but my embarrassment changed to shock as I got a look at Denny’s arm.
And the bandage that was wrapped around his wrist.
“What happened, Denny?” I shrieked a little too loudly. A look of fear crossed his face and he took a step back—towards Max. Away from me. My little brother never had a reason to be afraid of me, but even though I knew I was probably overreacting, I still couldn’t reel in anger. I was too emotional, I knew. But Denny had gotten hurt, and someone had damn well better start telling me the hows and the whys of it before I completely lost my mind.
Max put his hand on Denny’s shoulder and my baby brother strai
ghtened, looked less afraid. Part of me was happy that Denny had a male role model he could look up to and trust. The other part of me was severely pissed that he was looking to someone other than myself, and keeping secrets from me to boot. Someone better start talking.
“Relax, Billy,” Max said smoothly, ruffling Denny’s hair with his large hand. A cloud of white dust rose out off of his head and both Max and Denny started laughing. “It’s actually just a little scrape, but I didn’t have any band-aids so I wrapped it up with this until I got him home. Denny, why don’t you go upstairs, take your shower and get ready for bed while I talk to your sister for a minute? You did good today, kid. I’m proud of you.”
I could only stare with my mouth hanging open as my, upon closer examination, filthy brother smiled like Max had hung the moon and ran upstairs to do exactly what he was told with no hesitation. I normally had to threaten to take away his video games just to get Denny to bathe. What sorcery was this?
You did good today, kid. I’m proud of you. I was still mad. Seriously. I wouldn’t let those sweet words change my mind.
You are mad Billy, I reminded myself. Get your answers.
“Please tell me what’s going on.”
“I miss you and have questions about our relationship.”
“Where have you been taking Denny every day and what have you been doing?”
“I feel isolated and lonely and I really need some reassurance from you.”
Those were all statements I could have made that would have accurately represented the current state of my mind. Instead, what came out of my mouth was, “What the hell, Max?”
We both looked up at the ceiling as the water cranked on in the shower upstairs. In an old farmhouse you could hear those pipes running no matter where you were in the place.
“He’s fine, Billy,” Max said as he stepped a little closer into the kitchen.
“Well, I’m not fine.” Max looked pleased for some reason, and every part of me screamed internally to take a step back. I was stubborn though and held my ground. He kept walking until he was so close I had to crane my neck to still be looking at his face.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes, I did want to talk about it, in fact, but I didn’t like his smug tone so I pressed my lips together and crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn’t going to throw myself at him. No way. No sir.
“Billy, do you have something you want to say to me?” Max reached up with one hand and traced his finger along my jaw lightly. I wasn’t prepared for that feather touch and shivers rippled down my spine, sending little electric pulses through my fingers and toes. Not fair. I was angry, I wanted answers, and he was not playing fair.
“Do you have something you want to say to me, Max?” I stepped out of his reach. I wanted to step closer. To feel his arms wrap around me and pull me close. I wanted him to tell me that he had feelings for me, that he was going to stay, and everything was going to be all right. But he wasn’t giving me any indication that he was going to say those things, and I would be damned if I was going to break down and beg for it. So stubborn. So prideful. I was so angry at myself for being both of those things, but I still couldn’t be the one to say it. I needed him to make the effort. Please, Max. Make the effort. Internally I was begging, externally I was sure I looked like I was ready for a fight.
It looked like neither of us were going to get what we wanted as Max sighed like I had disappointed him and stepped away. “It looks like I’m pushing my luck with you, aren’t I Billy?”
“What does that mean?” I didn’t like the sound of that. It sounded like he was giving up on me. I don’t know why I thought that, but panic set in and I reached out to stop him.
Max had already turned his back to me though and was walking out of the kitchen and down the long hallway to the front door.
“I’m sorry Billy, but don’t be too hard on Denny. I asked him to keep a secret, and he’s done a good job. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I was still standing in the kitchen with my arm stretched out, grasping nothing, as the truck fired up and pulled out of the driveway. It was probably another ten seconds after that before I was able to move again. None of that had gone the way I had planned, but then again, when Max was concerned it usually didn’t.
What the hell had just happened? Had I ruined everything?
12
I think I had pushed Billy about as far as I could push her. The air had just about vibrated around her last night in the kitchen, and I think if I wouldn’t have left right then she would have snapped.
I don’t want Billy Daily to snap. I want her by my side, in my bed, and in my life. I was keeping her and I was keeping Denny—I just needed her to get hip to the idea. The key to getting inside Billy’s head, I had come to find, was letting her think things were her idea. Letting her have control. A man couldn’t take that away from an independent woman like Billy, so I was trying to give her the space she needed to come to the conclusion that she wanted me around. I knew she felt it, I just wanted her to say it out loud.
I had hoped to be able to keep the secret a little longer, but after taking Denny home the night before I knew I was out of time.
So I stood outside of the gray farmhouse again, nervous as hell and wondering if I should knock on the door when it swung open without me, and Billy’s face peeked out. A look of surprise crossed her face when she saw me.
“Max? How did you sneak up here without me hearing your truck? Where is your truck?”
If the security system had been working she would have known the moment I crossed the perimeter of the property, but I knew that Jean had disabled it before she left because it was just Billy and Denny in the house while she was gone. That security system was complex, and she didn’t want Billy to have to worry about lights and monitors going off every time the mail delivered. Plus, Jean knew that I had been keeping an eye on things while she was gone. In my own way.
“I didn’t bring my truck.” I probably should have said something else, but she looked so damn beautiful standing in the doorway wearing what looked like pajama pants and a little tank top I lost my train of thought for a minute.
“Is everything okay, Max? Denny is at school today, the bus picked him up about an hour ago. It’s the middle of the week.” She spoke the words like I was an idiot, and maybe I was because she really thought I had no other reason to go to that house besides picking up and dropping off Denny. Senseless woman. Or maybe I was just the idiot for being so secretive and making her feel that way. It was probably the second thing.
“I’m not here to see Denny I’m here to see you. Come out here, I want to show you something.”
“I can’t go anywhere, Max. I’m not even wearing a bra. How did you get here without your truck anyway? Your bike is still in Jean’s pole barn. What did you drive?”
“You don’t need a bra for where we are going, we aren’t going to see anyone anyway. And I didn’t bring the truck here. Will you just come out here, Billy? Please?”
Ooh, it was the please that had her taking those few steps onto the porch. I would have to remember that little nugget of information for later when I wanted Billy to do other things for me. I didn’t need her to wear a bra either. I liked the way that tank top looked, stretched tight over her breasts. I bet if I ran my thumb across the front of that shirt her nipples would draw up tight and poke right through. If I could just get her to come with me, maybe I would try it and see.
If she would just come down the steps and around the side of the house a little bit she would see exactly how I got here, but she was being cautious and slow with me. I didn’t like it, so I took those porch steps two at a time until I could grab her by the hand and haul her up next to me. Then I kissed her.
Fast.
Hard.
“Woman be quiet and come outside with me. I need to show you something. Do you want to know what’s been going on? I’m going to tell you. Come. Now.” Thankfully, instead of arguing over my
caveman approach she did exactly what I asked and allowed me to lead her by the hand to the four-wheeler parked in the grass.
“A four-wheeler, Max? I don’t understand.”
“Maybe not yet,” I said, explaining nothing, “but you will. Hop on.” I steeled myself for an argument. It was Billy after all, but thankfully her curiosity was stronger than her attitude because she got on behind me without any more questions. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I paused for a second, partly to let her get situated and partly because I like the feeling of her holding onto me for support. Hopefully, we would have more of that in the future after I had shown her the secret that Denny and I had been keeping for two months. Either that, or I had grossly misread the situation, and wouldn’t that be awkward? I wasn’t too worried about it, I was pretty sure I knew what Billy needed. It just happened to be something that I wanted to give, I just needed a good kick in the ass myself.
I could have gotten her there in two minutes, but I took my time on the ride, winding through the tree line that backed against Jean’s property before cutting through the rear of the piece of land that I had purchased as soon as I had gotten out of the hospital. The freshly painted white of the two-story house looked grossly out of place against the barren and muddy yard it sat on, but the house was the priority, the yard was last on the list. No sense planting a bunch of grass seed either until we were done driving vehicles loaded with supplies in and out. She didn’t say anything as we pulled up to the house, but I felt the tenseness in her arms as she squeezed me a little tighter. Was she surprised? I bet she was. I bet she didn’t even know this house was here, and if she did I knew it looked a damn sight different than she would have remembered.
I cut the engine on the four wheeler and waited until Billy got down before I swung my leg over the side. “Is this where you’ve been staying?” Bill asked the question with her eyes wide, her pretty mouth hanging open in a surprised little o shape. The answer to that was yes, but so much more than that. She would understand when she went inside. There was so much more to show her.
Billy Daily Page 6
