“Your father,” she said shakily. Her voice broke into my thoughts. My eyes flew to Sissy’s face. She visibly swallowed and tried again. “I loved your father, Dane. I did. When I met Cornelius, I knew all about his wealthy young wife. I worked for them. They had a new baby, and I was hired to play nanny.”
My mother had been Simon’s nanny? The news gave me pause. I had never been privy to the details about how Cornelius and my mother had met each other. I had always assumed that whatever happened between them had to be some type of sordid one-night stand or something. Now here was Sissy telling me that it was anything but. I sat back in my chair in surprise. She finally looked at me, and I saw she was really and truly ready to talk.
“Sometimes it helps to sort through if you get it all out. I told you, I’m not here to blame you. I’m not here to judge you. I’m just trying to understand.”
She sighed, and her eyes rolled skyward as she slouched back in her seat with a shake of her curly head. She crossed her legs and straightened her. She clasped her fluttering hands in her lap. The floral-printed blazer, the pearls, the fresh makeup and flawless hairstyle—she looked more like the woman I remembered from my childhood. More like my mother.
“I was eighteen years old when my mama and daddy sent me to sunny California to visit a distant relative. I can’t even remember her name. I remember she was ancient as Methuselah, though, and the strictest old biddy. I had just graduated high school, and I thought it would be a lark to take the trip, but when I got to the ramshackle house it was revealed to me that Daddy was just tryin’ to reduce the amount of mouths he had to feed. He had lost his job again. It was Mama’s suggestion I go work for her maiden aunt, and nobody thought to tell me that until I got there.
“Anyway, imagine my surprise when she put me right to work like some kinda country cousin Cinderella. One day I thought to myself that I was a grown woman. I was eighteen years old. I ain’t have to stay at no house and be a slave for somebody I barely even knew. So…I ran away.”
“Where did you think you would go to?” I asked in shock. I could picture innocent, naive, eighteen-year-old Sissy out on the streets in a foreign place, far from home and family. Who had she imagined would help her support herself?
“’Bout the first few days, I spent nights in the cathedral after I found out they didn’t lock their doors. I’d sleep between the pews and get up and sneak out before anybody saw me, but of course I got caught one night. This kindly sister gave me tracks for a halfway house for runaways, and that was my lucky break. I went there. It sounds real bad but it wasn’t. It was a nice li’l place with its own vineyard me and the girls worked for room and board. Only problem was you could only stay up to a certain amount of time, so you was encouraged to get a real job too to save up and get you somewhere stable.
“That’s how I stumbled cross this advertisement for a nanny. There was this girl, Kay, who had a typewriter and some secretary skills. I traded a pair of shoes my mama had given me ’fore I went to Cali and got Kay to write me up some official-lookin’ letters of recommendation. I took them letters, and I went and got hired.
“Now, Caroline was ’bout my age or a li’l older, but I thought she had to be one lucky heifer to live in a big fancy house. Hadn’t even met Cornelius yet. I was just blown away by how much money them two seemed to have. The baby was a fat-faced, chubby li’l angel, and he never cried. He was so sweet. Caroline woulda spoiled him right up if I hadna been there to mind her. Had to tell her put the boy down some since he was so even-tempered, didn’t need carryin’ around all the time.
“They gave me a room and everything, but I mostly stayed out of sight after hours. I guess that’s why it took me so long to meet him. I was there a whole month and fell in love with everything about the place before I even met your daddy. When I met him, that’s when things started to change. I was—well, maybe I don’t look like much now, but back then men couldn’t keep they eyes off me. I didn’t pay none of the rest of them no mind. Fact, that’s how I got the job. I told Ms. Caroline I was a good Catholic girl, and I was, Dane. I swear to you, I was. But Cornelius come home from work early one evening and ran into me in the kitchen. Cornelius took one look at me and came home early every day after that.
“He didn’t really seduce me…I wouldn’t say that. He was real nice, talked to me politely. He just was always there, making time to be around me. I couldn’t help but like him ’cause he was so different from any of the other fellas from back home, so polished and worldly. And I could tell he liked me, too. We both fought some, I think, to keep our feelings under control. Then, one weekend, him and Caroline had a terrible row, and she went home to her mama to cool off. That left me in the house by myself with him.
“He came to me. He said he wanted to talk, so we talked. One thing led to another. Oh, I don’t think I should be telling you this part, but it was what it was. We went and got physical, and that’s where I messed up. He was the first man to get that part of me, Dane. I was head over heels. How was I supposed to understand at that time, young as I was, men like Cornelius could get women a dime a dozen, and I was just a notch in his belt? Afterward, after it was all said and done, Caroline came flying back to the house the next day—I guess realizing she had messed up leaving us two together like that. She had questions galore for me.
“I told her nothing happened, but I just knew something special had happened. I kept working for them, waiting for Cornelius to come to me and tell me he was leaving her for me!”
“And he never did,” I said. I sighed heavily. The picture was beginning to take shape. Cornelius wasn’t a callous man, but he was a man from a world I knew personally. He wouldn’t have thought anything of a casual affair. Even if he cared for the young, beautiful nanny, he wouldn’t have risked his livelihood to be with her. “I think I understand.”
“I guess he would say he tried to make me know the truth of what was really going on, but you can’t tell me that man didn’t see how green I was and capitalize on it. I think he had it in his mind to keep me as his mistress. He bought me nice things and made me keep it secret. We had a hideaway in the attic where some nights he would spend hours and hours with me. All that time, I was falling more and more in love with him, and Caroline was getting more and more suspicious.
“She just flat out asked me one day if I was sleeping with her husband and I said…I said… I told her I was in love with Cornelius and he loved me too. And she slapped me square in the face, even though I was holding the baby. She snatched that baby out of my arms and ordered me out of her house. I couldn’t even collect my things. I called to see if I could pick them up, but she had them mailed to the hotel where I was staying instead; but I wasn’t mad, you see. I figured if she had my address, well then, he had my address, and Cornelius would come and find me.
“Only he didn’t. He sent me a letter telling me that our relationship had been a grievous error on his part and that he was sorry for everything he had done. He told me not to contact him or Caroline again. Pretend they didn’t exist. I tried. I did. Then, months later, I had you.”
“You told Cornelius about me right away?”
“Yes,” said Sissy. “I told him and he came and saw you at my new flat. He thought you was the prettiest baby he had ever laid eyes on. He said it himself. It made my heart swell with hope, thinking wasn’t no way he could turn away from a baby pretty like you and not make me an honest woman. And you know what he said next? He told me he’d pay for you. Just like that. Them words. He’d pay for you, like you was something for sale. He was really paying for me to keep my mouth shut, and we both knew it, but I needed the money.
“I accepted the check and put the crazy notion of love and relationships out of my head. I grew up real fast after that, you hear me? By the time I met Darien, I was the most cold-hearted, calculating woman. I had to be to keep us with a roof over our heads and in decent clothes with decent food. Darien made it his business to take me away from having to work two jobs. H
e had to, ’cause I was running myself ragged, literally. You might not remember, but I contracted tuberculosis working nights as a nurse aide at an old folks’ home.
“Darien was the one who started watching you while I went to the hospital and got treated. He was the one that paid all them doctor bills. He saved my life, Dane, and yours, ’cause what woulda happened to you had I up and died? You tell me that. He might’ve turned out to be rougher than I had hoped, but…in the beginning he was my sole salvation. That’s why I put the faith and trust into him like I did, and that’s why I love him in the only true way I know how to, to this day. I owed him everything.”
“There are parts of this narrative that don’t quite add up. Why didn’t you just use the money Cornelius was sending you to pay the doctor’s bills?” I asked.
Sissy huffed and waved her hands. “That’s besides the point. A lot of that money went into investing into Darien’s company so he could start up his own business. How do you think it woulda looked for him to come in and live off another man’s money? He had to invest into his own ventures!”
“That’s the thing, Mama. He did come in and live off another man’s money. Name me one single venture that Darien Griess ever got off the ground. You can’t name even one, can you? Listen, Sissy, I get it. I do. I understand why you feel loyal to Griess now more than ever. But, for once, I need you to grow out of the old way of thinking and adopt some new ways. Darien used you from the very beginning. I can’t make you not love him, but it would make me more than happy to be a part of the process of teaching you how to love yourself more and be loyal to yourself.”
She sniffed, dabbing her eyes. “Well, that’s what I’m trying to do, ain’t I? I let you move me up here. You think I couldna disappeared again?”
I chuckled involuntarily, knowing damned well she was right; she could’ve disappeared. “Thank you for at least giving me a chance. This isn’t going to be easy for either one of us. You know that, right? You’ve got some things in your past. I’ve got some things in my past. You love me?”
She nodded and gasped hoarsely. “I know you don’t think I do, but I do.”
“I love you, too, Mama.”
“Just tell me what this game plan is of yours,” she said.
“It starts with getting you all moved in. I’ve got your apartment ready for you and a car ready to take you over there, but there are other things I’m going to need a commitment from you to do. You’ll be seeing a psychiatrist to help deal with your bipolar disorder and get you on a regimen to stabilize you. Now, I know you don’t like to be pumped full of pills. So I’m working on finding you a doctor with some alternative treatments like yoga and acupuncture to keep you balanced.”
She nodded tentatively, which encouraged me to continue. “Despite your house arrest status, you’ll be allowed to be escorted to mass, since I know how much you value going to church. That’ll help you get out a little. Long time ago you used to do some sewing. You remember that? I found you a sewing circle right here in New York, so you can get back doing some of the things you used to love and maybe meet some new friends. A support network is a powerful asset. Trust me, I know.”
“Oh,” she said, as if realizing something out of the blue. “Dane, about your lady friend.”
I held up a hand. I wasn’t quite ready to talk about Hanna. “I think I’m doing an admirable job of pretending like none of what happened on that yacht ever happened, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep it that way for the time being. I want to wipe the slate clean with you, Mama, and start fresh. Can we do that?”
“Yes,” she whispered. A half-smile tugged at her lips. “I’d like that.”
CHAPTER 7
With new knowledge of how I had come to exist, I had mixed feelings about my origins. I could easily understand why Cornelius had done the things he had done, and I could equally get why Sissy had become the woman she had become. But I didn’t have much time to puzzle over my past with so much of my future hanging in the balance.
I had been at the manor for a good four weeks without the world intruding. Days were spent taking conference calls and handling work with Excelsis from the safe distance of my estate office, but unlike in the past, when I had felt comfortable working from home, I felt restless about being so far away. I felt like perhaps my absences had made it easier for Tom to commit his dirt.
The bright speck at the end of the dark tunnel was growing bigger, however.
“When they found out he was working with your ex-girlfriend to make you look bad, that was considered a mark against his character,” said Gervais.
We sat poolside, shades on our faces, sunscreen on our arms. A small radio played salsa music, and I was pretending like I was away on vacation. I watched the new maid mosey around the back patio in her cute little skirt and blouse, an apron tied around her waist. I waved when she looked up and caught us watching her. I’d had her for a few days.
“She’s got legs like a horse,” Gervais said.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“She scares me.”
“You’re gay, aren’t you?”
“What? No.” Gervais chortled. “So, have you heard from her?”
“Have you heard from her? It’s not like Hanna’s going to call me.”
“I know as much as you know, but as you know, I can find out more.”
“She’s working in DC. I guess she likes it. She hasn’t come flying back to New York yet. But enough about that. Enough about the fun stuff. Tell me what I need to know about Annabeth.”
“Right. I brought along some files for you to look at, photos taken by the PI. She’s been going to her prenatal appointments. She’s been seen around sporting a bigger belly. She’s not making any secret of the fact that she thinks it’s your child, and no boyfriend in the wings is coming forward to claim it as his own.”
“She hasn’t even tried to contact me. Why doesn’t she just call me?”
“As the saying goes, hell hath no fury.”
I sighed and sat up, reaching for my melting piña colada and taking a sip. I glanced over at Gervais, who looked ridiculous in trousers and suspenders with a pinstriped shirt and leather shoes while I set there in red swimming trunks.
“You’re starting to burn,” I said.
“Oh, shit.” He stood up and stared down at his reddening arms. “Let’s take this meeting inside. As for your mom,” he said as he walked into the house, “I’ve been checking in on her, and she seems to be enjoying her apartment.”
“Perfect. Come to think of it, maybe I need to go see her too. I’ve been out here long enough. Shit is starting to get boring.”
“Well, you know Ms. Brittany thinks you’d be best out of sight, out of mind,” he said.
Brittany was the head of our new media relations team, a gutsy black woman who came highly recommended. I bristled at the thought of once again having my actions controlled by someone other than myself, but by now I was aware that for them to do their job, I had to do as they asked.
“It’s a good time for a vacation,” Gervais said. He sat on the couch and I took a seat on the ottoman in front of the TV, going through Xbox games, looking for something to play.
“A vacation? I thought that’s what this was.” I picked a classic fighter game and depressed the button so the doors hiding the game console and television would open, then I put in the game and turned on the TV. “There we go. You want to play? I call first player.”
“Maybe down south a ways.” He accepted the second controller and watched the screen light up with graphics.
I started the game and sat back on the sofa. “I just got back from there.”
“I’m thinking more north than the Gulf of Mexico.”
“Gervais, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“Like DC, maybe.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like DC, maybe,” I said mockingly. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll think about it. Maybe I’m enough of a masochist to give it a shot.”
> He shrugged, grinning. “Cool. Now…get this ass kicking!” His character laid into mine with drop kicks and punches, power moves and weapon assaults.
“Dude!” I got into the fight and tried to do as much damage back to him.
We sat in my house and played video games for much of the rest of the evening, and I had the time of my life, being carefree and letting life take care of itself. I was kind of pissed to see him leave, especially since he had won more matches than me.
“Next time,” I promised him with a scowl, high-fiving him as he ran out to his car. “Hey, I’ll think about that vacation thing.”
“I can look up some flights and make some arrangements.”
“Don’t be too hasty. I have to make up my mind first.”
“Can I tell you something?” He opened his car door, standing half in and half out. “I think she loves you. I think you love her, and I think you guys are good for each other. I don’t usually get into your personal life, sir, but I think if you let her stay down there pretending like she doesn’t want to be with you, then she will. But if you go down there and remind her of why she does want to be with you, then at least you can come back knowing that you gave it your best shot.”
“I don’t know if I should take relationship advice from a guy who’s always single,” I teased.
Gervais guffawed and said, “It’s free advice. You don’t have to take it.”
I smiled and shook my head, waving goodbye to him with a laugh. “I’ll think about it.”
And I did. And I went.
#
“This gentleman came asking for you?”
Hanna looked up, glasses on her nose that I had never seen before. She looked very academic and professional. “Even more beautiful than I remembered,” I said, walking into her open office.
“What on earth are you…? How did you know where to find me?”
Dane - Book 3: A Foster Family Saga Page 6
