“Is that any way to talk to me?” Annabeth looked genuinely stung, but I knew it was all an act. She was an actress, playing a part in the destruction of my relationship. Annabeth was well aware of what she was doing, too. “After all we’ve been through together.”
The perfectly round mound of Annabeth’s stomach added a touch of softness to her toned celebrity physique, and she looked womanly, motherly. I had only seen her in tabloid photos. I had to admit, none of them did her beauty justice. Her cheeks were fleshy, free of makeup, save a hint of red lipstick. Her hair was longer and fuller, absent of the colorful dye streaks that had been part of her signature look in the past. A blond fishtail braid hung over her slender shoulder, an oversized cardigan making her petite pregnant body look even smaller and more vulnerable.
Her eyes misted as she stared at me, and then Hanna, without saying a word.
Despite my wariness with Annabeth, there was a tendril of doubt within me, a sense that instead of fighting, I should be mending bridges. I wanted desperately to know the truth. Compelled to touch her stomach, I tucked my hands in my pockets instead, but I ached to know whether the child she carried was mine. It was possible, though unlikely.
Annabeth sighed, pulled photographs out of the pocket of her sweater, and handed them to me. I felt Hanna draw closer to my back and peek over my shoulder.
“Ultrasound pictures,” Hanna murmured excitedly. “Oh, when are you due? Is it a girl or a boy? Are you two related or something?” She sounded as if she were trying to ignore the obvious, for our sake. I wished desperately I could play along. Hanna pushed me aside and put a palm to Annabeth’s pregnant belly, smiling. “Was that a kick? You look amazing. Oh, I can’t even picture carrying a life inside of me. You must be so brave. You must be due soon. Are you excited?”
Hanna took the photos out of my hand and flipped through each one with a tender smile, the way every woman got at the idea of pregnancy. I suppressed a groan. How the fuck to explain?
“Related?” Annabeth giggled merrily. “We used to date, Dane and me,” Annabeth said, studying Hanna’s face. Hanna pulled her hand back slowly, eyes going to Annabeth’s serious face. I clutched Hanna’s shoulders and gently moved her to the leather couch.
“Please sit down, Hanna,” I murmured.
“What’s going on? Who is this woman?” she asked.
I frowned, at a loss for words, and sat down next to her, throwing my arm across her shoulders and pulling her stiff body close. I gestured to the club chair, praying Annabeth wouldn’t make things any more difficult than they had to be. “Hanna, this is Annabeth. We dated off and on for…years. But it was before I met you. Unfortunately, Annabeth believes I’m the father of her unborn child.”
I saw the same hurt expression across Hanna’s face that had appeared the day I confessed to her I was using her to boost my public image. My spirit deflated. I realized this blow might be one too difficult for our relationship recover from. I had placed her in an awkward position. She was stunned, and it was all because of my inability to be straightforward with her. “Hanna, I’m sorry.” Her expression went blank, hard, cold.
“Naturally, I had to bring him pictures of our child,” Annabeth said, waddling to the chair. She lowered herself cautiously, looking like she was ready to pop. I grimaced. She stumbled, and I half rose to assist her, but I felt Hanna tense beside me. Annabeth caught herself.
She laughed, voice tinkling like ice shattering. My heart skipped beats, the situation looking dire. I reached across her lap and squeezed Hanna’s hand reassuringly. It was amazing that she had enough aplomb not to tear into me the way I knew she wanted to, but I needed answers from Annabeth, and I was grateful to have Hanna at my side. It was time to be done with secrets. I swallowed thickly, praying to God it wasn’t too late for us. There had to be a way to salvage the situation.
“Hanna, I didn’t think we would have to go through this so soon. I never meant to blindside you. I want you to know I…I have my doubts about the veracity of Annabeth’s claims.”
“Are you?” Hanna’s voice was small, her eyes flinty. “Could you be the father?”
I wanted to assuage her fears, but the truth was that I just didn’t know. I followed the direction of her gaze, and Annabeth was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “Well, there isn’t any question in my mind. It’s like they always say: mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe,” Annabeth said.
Hanna exhaled harshly. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead. “Baby, I promise you this all happened before you.”
Annabeth burst out laughing, holding her sides, and she fanned her reddening face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But do you believe this guy? Darling, when Dane and I were an item, I knew he was with other women, and I didn’t really care. Men like him have appetites, and women like me understand that. That’s why we lasted so long. Honey, if you want to make things work with Dane, you’re going to have to get thicker skin.”
Hanna pushed away from my chest and shot up from the couch. I grabbed her arm. “Hanna, wait a minute!”
“Get off me!” she said. Hanna broke free of my grasp and flew up to the loft.
“Oh, let her go, Dane. This is between me and you anyway. Now, about our son.”
“My lawyers have already filed suit for a paternity test,” I said. Annabeth wore a smug smile that grated at my frazzled nerves. “Tell me, Annabeth, how are things between you and Tom?”
“He was a means to an end. He’s not in the picture anymore. Look, I know you think I’m doing this to get back at you or something, but this pregnancy happened naturally. We fucked. You should’ve been wiser about what you did with your cock, Dane.”
“You know I always wore a condom with you!”
“Is that how you remember it? I seem to recall a time or two I had you so hot and ready the condom had to wait.”
I scowled, knowing Hanna could hear. Pointing a finger at Annabeth, I leaned forward. “Was it that upsetting, Annabeth? You couldn’t stand the thought of me moving on and being with someone who honestly cared about me. You clung to me like a creeping fucking vine. It’s over between us! If that child turns out to be mine, rest assured I will take care of him, but if he’s not, then I feel sorry he has to call you his mother. If I find out you did something underhanded to make this happen, I swear to you, no resource will be spared in making sure that you pay for what you’ve done to me.”
“Ugly words from a bastard! As for your lawyers, you’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll be pushing this baby out in another month, and you’ll be a daddy. Hope ginger up there is ready to be a step-mommy, but I doubt it. You sure have luck with women.”
Annabeth rose to her feet with some difficulty and waddled back to the door. “Keep the ultrasound pics,” she spat. She opened the door and breezed out, leaving me staring after her with my heart in my throat.
My eyes dropped down to the floor and then up at the loft. Hanna was standing at the rail. Our eyes connected. “How could you?” she whispered harshly. “How could you invite me back like this and not tell me?”
“Hanna, I can explain.”
I hurried up the winding stairs and she backed away from me, shaking her head. “What’s to explain? It’s a pretty big fucking deal. You knew you could be expecting a child. Now you have the audacity to apologize for blindsiding me? You’re a monster!”
I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “I love you, and I’m not about to let that conniving woman come between us. I was going to tell you after I found out something definitive.”
“And what if the baby turns out to be yours? You, of all people, must know what it feels like to grow up without a solid, steadfast connection to your father.”
I wrapped my arms around her, and she didn’t resist. She dropped her head to my shoulder. I ran my fingers through her hair and held her face closer to my chest. “I know, Hanna. I know. I would never put any child through something like that. If the baby is mine…Hanna, I’ve always been diligent about usi
ng protection.”
“Babies shouldn’t be mistakes, Dane,” she said. “And you’re asking a lot of me. I’m not prepared to accept a ready-made family. That’s the part you don’t seem to understand. Waiting until you found out for sure whether or not the child was yours would’ve been just as bad an idea. Either way, if you have a child, I have to live with the consequences if I choose to stay with you.”
“What are you trying to tell me? Are you trying to tell me you don’t want to be with me now?” I pushed her away from me to study her face.
“I have to think, Dane.” Her face was twisted with confusion, and I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. I felt like my chest was collapsing. Not again. I couldn’t lose her again.
“Hanna, please—”
“I have to.” She pulled away from me. “And you have to respect that. You should’ve told me before I left DC.”
I looked down, swallowing hard. She was right. “I should have… I just… Please, stay here while you think it through.”
She looked pained, but she nodded. “Fine, whatever. I’ll take the guest room.”
“Whatever it takes. You have no idea how sorry I am for you having to find out like this. Hanna, I wish—”
“I don’t want to talk about this now. I have work to do. I have to find me a job. Excuse me.” She pushed past me and clattered down the stairs. I sat heavily down on the edge of the bed. At least she was still there, I reasoned, but I wondered for how long.
CHAPTER 11
The phone jangled me awake out of a light sleep hours later. I rolled over in the empty bed, reaching blindly to the nightstand to answer it before it woke Hanna. I realized belatedly that she was sleeping in the furthest guest bedroom downstairs. There wasn’t a chance of the phone waking her. I grimaced in anguish and answered, turning on the bedside lamp.
“Hello.”
“Dane, did I wake you? You sound like shit. I’m wired myself. Took a red eye back to California. There was no way Caroline would consent to me staying in New York overnight, knowing I was out there having dinner with your mother.”
“Dad?” I muttered groggily. “What time is it?”
“I haven’t a clue. Time difference and all that. Listen, I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to ring you up and let you know I appreciate you for making tonight happen. Without your wise intervention, us two old geezers might’ve rolled over in our graves before sitting down to have a civilized chat together.”
I sat up and yawned. “No, it was no problem.” I glanced around the room, my nose chasing phantom whiffs of Hanna’s perfume. The clock read just past eleven, and I wondered if she was downstairs sleeping or having a sleepless night. I wondered why we couldn’t have a sleepless night together, even though I knew the reason why we couldn’t. It was my fault, as usual. “Mom was glad to see you,” I murmured, getting back to the person on the phone.
Cornelius’ soft chuckle rumbled in my ear. “There was a lot I couldn’t say, but one thing I should’ve said, so I’m saying it now. To you personally, son, I apologize for the hardships I unwittingly allowed you to suffer. After discovering Sissy’s culpability in your kidnapping, I realized there was a lot you had kept to yourself about how you were raised, but I understood that it couldn’t have been a walk in the park.”
My mouth tightened, and I nodded in the darkness. I sighed. “It wasn’t, but I’m better for it. And thank you…thank you for the apology, Dad.”
“In all honesty, Dane, I loved your mother with all my heart, but there were things I didn’t say tonight because it would’ve broken her heart all over again to know how close I came to making a decision to be with her. You see, I went back to that hotel after I met you for the first time. After I held you in my arms, it made it that much harder to do the right thing.”
“What do you mean, Dad?”
“I stayed with Caroline because we had Simon together. We were building a life together, as our parents felt we were a good match, but my affections for her in the beginning were more of obligation than sincere love. When it came to your mother, I ran into my first brush with true love, and once I discovered Cecily had you, I had a choice between which of my sons would have me in their lives. It was the hardest decision I have ever faced in my life. In a lot of ways, your mother made it for me. Like I said…I went back to that hotel.”
“She had already moved out,” I said in disbelief. “You went back, and we weren’t there.”
“Precisely. In my mind, I had come to the conclusion Simon would be reasonably well off, what with his mother’s wealth and family backing her. I was comfortable paying support, and though divorces weren’t fashionable in that day and age, I felt Caroline would be better off with someone who could love her properly. I knew Cecily had no one, no family, no money. There was no way I planned to send her off into the world like that with my child.
“But by the time she got in touch with me to let me know where to send the support checks, Sissy was so embittered by what she felt was my abandonment of her that she didn’t even realize I was trying to get her back. She gave me a post office box number and denied my right to see you for years. And then she met Griess, and the rest is history.”
“I had no idea. I can’t imagine how that must have hurt you, how devastating… Dad, women are crazy!” I slumped down on my pillows and scowled at the wall. “They do the most maddening things in the name of love. God, I wish I could just get through to her.”
“Why do I get the sense we’re not talking about your mother now?”
I sighed and realized what I had said. “I’m sorry. I was just venting. Hanna and I, yet again, have a botch-up of my doing to get through.”
“Care to chat about it? I might be able to offer some advice. Considering my past, I can reasonably say I have experience in botch-ups and women.”
“I don’t know how much to tell you. You might fly back and demote me or something. Some of it deals with the tabloids, and I know how you feel about the family’s dirty laundry being aired out in the press, but it couldn’t be helped. Tom conspired against me, which caused the loss of my media relations team before we could head it off at the pass.”
“What exactly is it?”
“An ex-lover. A woman, an actress, I dated before I met Hanna has popped up like the Ghost of Christmas Past, and she’s pregnant, naming me as the father. I have my doubts. I was always careful, but I could’ve made an error. I don’t know. Either way, until the paternity suit is settled, the shadow of fatherhood is casting my relationship in darkness.”
“This is grave.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Of late, I’ve been thinking a lot about being a grandfather. I’m at that age, son. I’d welcome a little Dane, Jr.” He laughed, and I smiled.
“This isn’t a joke, Dad. What if Annabeth’s really carrying my baby?”
“Then you do the right thing. You take care of your child and try to keep up an amicable relationship with the mother. Children really do need both parents in their lives. I’m sure you know that. I can imagine Hanna isn’t too pleased about all this, but didn’t you say it happened before you met Hanna?”
“Technically, it happened just after I met Hanna. The problem is I failed to mention the child when I convinced Hanna to come back to New York with me, and don’t ask why I had to convince her to come back. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say, Hanna’s broken up with me enough times for this one to really be the charm. She says she needs to think about what she should do next. She says she’s not interested in having a ready-made family, and while I do understand where she’s coming from, I can’t help but want her to keep our love in mind before she backs out. I know we can do this together, regardless of whether or not the child is mine.”
“You sound convincing. Try that whole spiel on her. It’ll likely work. For future reference, relationships don’t do well with secrets. How can you ever inspire trust if at every turn you’ve got another surprise for a person? I learned that
the hard way and almost lost, though I learned to love Caroline and she learned to forgive me. My advice to you, son, is to be more forthright. It’s about integrity.”
“I have integrity.”
“Integrity means doing the right thing even when no one is watching. This may sting, but even if you risk losing Hanna, you be there for that child if it’s yours. Hanna may come around if she loves you. But you have to understand there’s only so many times you can cut a person deep before they bleed out on you. I’m sorry you’re going through this, son. Manhood demands more than putting on a suit and carrying a briefcase. It takes heart, and hearts break, but you just have to keep on living and loving anyway. I wish I could’ve been there for you earlier in your life to teach you that lesson, because it’s the hardest one to learn.”
I frowned, hearing every word he was saying and identifying with his message. “I have to talk to Hanna,” I murmured.
“She looked like a real firecracker when I saw her. I’d say give it a day or two before you broach the subject. In the meantime, your main priority is to find out about the true parentage of Annabeth’s baby. I’m sure you can handle that.”
“I will. Again, thanks, Dad. You’re…surprising. I wish I would’ve had you while I was growing up, too, but there aren’t words to describe how much I appreciate meeting you in my adulthood. I feel like I’ve always known you and will always loved you. I respect you, Cornelius Foster.”
He chuckled. “I don’t say this to many men, but I respect you, too, Dane Foster. You’re shaping up to be a chip off the old block. Goodbye, son.”
I hung up and fought the urge to fly downstairs to cuddle in bed with Hanna. I could imagine how soft and warm her body would feel. A sharp frisson of lust shot through me, but I quelled it. Like Cornelius had suggested, I would give things a day or two to die down. She had told me she needed time to think. I owed her that, at least.
Dane - Book 3: A Foster Family Saga Page 9
