by Shey Stahl
The moonlight reflecting off the large windows in every room lit the inside just enough so Parker didn’t turn on any lights. He guided me to his room at the end of the long hallway. A stream of light came through the large floor to ceiling window that overlooked the forest. Against the wall was his bed and a nightstand. Across from that was a dresser with a television on it. Other than that, the room was bare.
He sat down on the bed and held out his hand to me. “We haven’t been alone like this since Moab.” I knew what he was hinting at. The last two times we had been together it was rushed. Now, it appeared we had time, time to explore and learn a little more.
“Please don’t knee me in the junk.” His smile was bright even in the moonlight.
I laughed moved towards the bed. “Only if you promise to pull my hair a little.”
“Oh, well,” he said slowly, “I think that can be arranged…”
When I sat beside him, he looked down at me. Neither one of us said anything. His arms moved into a stretch as he removed his shirt, raising them over his head in elaborate gesture to show off his muscles. “Did it work?” He grinned.
“Did what work?”
“My muscles,” he answered with a chuckle, flexing. “Wanna get naked now?”
I leaned into him, unable to control how cute I found him when he did little things like that. “Yeah, getting naked sounds pretty good actually.” I looked up at him from my lashes.
Parker’s hands finally found my hips, and he pulled me from beside him to his lap. As I straddled him, a gentle hand slid from my hips up my sides to remove the sweatshirt I had stolen from him.
Leaning back against the mattress, he looked up at me, his eyes staring deeply into mine. “I’ve dreamed of having you here with me in this exact position.” He breathed.
I lifted my hand to stroke his cheek. Seeing his eyes in the moonlight made me realize how far we’d come.
Parker smiled when I reached for the button of his jeans, but he stopped me, rolling over so he was hovering over me. The smell of racing gas and summer was all around me, and I could almost taste it.
He buried his face into my neck, kissing me while his hands started to knead into my skin, like he was getting worked up, like he was getting impatient.
When he pressed his weight forward, I felt his hardness.
Everything about it was slow and full of passion that two seventeen-year-old kids knew nothing about. We felt things, deep things, that we had no idea would control us for years to come.
I moved my mouth to his jaw, kissing along it until I found his lips. My breath blew over his face as I spoke the words. “I love you…”
As my lips moved from his jaw to his neck, he gave me all of his weight, gripping my hands over my head. “I love you too, Ro.” He hissed as I sucked under his ear.
Our bodies moved together, loving each other the only way we knew how.
Parker took control, removing my clothes, and with shaking hands from my confession, I removed his. This time seemed different, more passion, more love, more of everything. His breath on my skin made me feel more, want more, give more.
We tried a few new positions this time, but when I was on top arching my back and really getting into, Parker lost control. “Fuck. Ro, I’m sorry but you…I…” His voice faded when his back arched and I knew what was happening.
Thankfully, I was already there too.
Trying to control our breathing, I lay against his chest with him still inside me, his hands rubbing my back.
“Yamaha called yesterday,” he said sort of somberly, taking the conversation in a completely different direction as if trying to prepare me.
“I figured they would.” It was all I could think to say without bursting into tears.
Parker tipped his head forward, his lips finding my ear. “I haven’t called them back.” He sighed. “I don’t know if…well…I don’t know…” He sounded frustrated and somewhat disturbed.
“They want you back. It’s a good thing,” I said, trying to put myself in Parker’s shoes.
Parker nodded. “I know,” he whispered, his voice distant.
I put my head back on his shoulder. “Sometimes I think what you’re meant to do has a way of finding you.”
A light laugh shook Parker’s chest, and he moved so he was hovering over me pressing between my legs again. “I found you…does that mean I was meant to do you?”
“So mature…” I laughed kissing him. “But yes...” my hands moved from his shoulders to his backside to make my intentions clear “...by all means, do me again.”
A low groan escaped him before we were going at it again. I loved that we couldn’t keep our hands off each other and that I never wanted to be away from him. I loved that he was learning my body and wanted to know me more than he wanted to know my body.
We had a line figured out and it was nice.
July 22, 1997
A yawn overtook me, rippling through my body. Feeling the heaviness in my eyes watching the trees outside his room sway with the summer breeze, the pull of sleep became stronger than the pull Parker had on me.
I blinked my bleary eyes. “What time is it?” I asked Parker, lying against his chest again as another yawn escaped me.
Craning his neck forward, he checked the alarm clock on the nightstand. “Shit, it’s three in the morning,” he said. “I should get you back. You might turn into a pumpkin.” He kind of chuckled as he removed himself from the bed.
“I think I would make a good pumpkin pie.” That remark made him laugh, and it was a sound I loved.
We got dressed quickly but I wanted to say something before we left. I took a hold of his wrist as he reached for the bedroom and found his eyes. “Thanks for sneaking me out,” I said with a smile, trying to convey my love.
Parker smiled and brushed my tangled hair back with his hand. “Thanks for getting in my bed,” he said, simply being a boy.
I was so tired I couldn’t remember how we made it back to my house. I fell asleep in his lap while he drove his truck.
His lips softly brushed mine outside my window as he helped me back in my room. “Bye,” he said, smiling his adorable smile.
“Be careful,” I said, watching him as he climbed down the tree.
I heard him whisper, “I will.”
When he turned the corner and was out of sight, I ached to have him back, to have more. My heart was overflowing with emotions, most of which I wasn’t sure how to handle. Everything he did and said made me fall a little deeper into whatever this was. He was the only thing I wanted, the boy that filled every thought I had and every desire that coursed through me.
I fell into bed with my clothes on, still wearing Parker’s hoodie, and kicked off my shoes as my heavy head hit the pillow. I was so tired but I was also at peace.
Far too soon, before I had time to dream, the summer heat and glare of the sun beat down on me through my window. The sounds of the day picked up: children playing, my mom and her Shania Twain music, dogs barking, log trucks in low gear, lawnmowers…the sounds of summer.
I had to work that morning, as did Parker, so that was my only reason for forcing myself into the shower and then down the road to the shop.
When I saw him, his head was down, and his were practically closed as he came towards me with a parts order in hand. I gave him a pensive wave and waited for his reaction. I was looking for a smile or something to let me know that he was happy to see me. When I finally caught his attention, he raised his chin at me and smiled.
“I’m sorry,” I said apologetically, finding his tired eyes. When I got to him, I pressed a cup of coffee into his chest. “Here, this will help.”
Parker smiled looking down at the cup. “Thanks,” he said, wrapping his perfect fingers around it and then pulling it to his lips and taking a long sip. “Coffee is good, even though I don’t drink it,” he said slowly. “I can think of something else that might make it better too.” He hinted with a tired grin.
“Drink your coffee,” I said, laughing.
“I don’t drink coffee.”
“Yeah, but I made it, so it’s good.” I was trying to be cute and he knew it. We were the only two people in the shop and he also knew that.
“You are cute…too cute for your own good right now.” He winked but the action seemed more drawn out. He was really tired.
“How early did you get up?”
Parker took another long sip. “Seven,” he said. “Got a couple hours sleep.” He laughed, his eyes curious looking over the bruise on my neck. “What’s that?” His hand raised to touch it.
Damn it. I noticed it getting dressed but refused to acknowledge it. Now there was no way around it.
My hand shot to cover my hickey. “Nothing,” I said nervously, feeling my face get hot.
“Why are you covering it then?” he asked, reaching for me again to remove my hand. His face lit up with an amused smile.
When I finally dropped my hand and he saw it, I was worried about his reaction. He seemed confused at first but then his eyes lit up with recognition. He put the coffee cup down on his tool box and grabbed my neck, his green eyes zeroing in on his handy work. “Damn,” he said.
“It’s really obvious, huh?” I asked, hoping that he would say no.
Parker laughed. “Well, now that you said it, yes, it is.” Then he turned my neck to get a better view. “Are you sure I did this?”
“Shut up,” I whined, shoving his chest back with my palm when he tried to push me against his tool box.
I was weak and in love with him, so I let him trap me when he tried again. “Sorry,” he whispered, the smell of motor oil, gas, and paint thinner filling my nose. “But it’s kind of your fault,” he said with a sly smile.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “How is it my fault?”
“It just is.” He smiled, tossing a wrench around in his left hand and backing away to lean against the bumper of the Chevy pickup in his stall.
Joey and Ben came through the side door filling the shop with their loud voices. I rolled my eyes at them and looked back at Parker who created a little more distance between us. “Keep telling yourself that,” I said, walking towards the office.
Parker let out a soft chuckle but said nothing more. Before I got to the office, Ben noticed. “Wow, look at that!”
I punched him in the gut as hard as I could. “Shut the fuck up, Ben!”
Choking on his laugher and holding his stomach, he shouted at Parker from across the shop. “Didn’t know you had it in you, glamour boy,”
Glaring, Parker wasn’t impressed by Ben and just gave him a nod, before going back to work.
I caught shit all day long over that damn hickey, mostly from Ben and then Joey, but Parker never mentioned it again.
July 25, 1997
My parents knew about what was going on between Parker and I. They weren’t stupid. They saw me sneaking out, found it entertaining to lock me out a time or two, and made fun of my hickies and sprained ankle from falling out of my tree. Friday morning before work, my dad informed me of some news I wasn’t expecting. He had invited Parker’s family over for dinner…and they agreed.
“You did what?” I asked, filling purchase orders.
“Well...” he gave an entertained glance before going back to his paperwork “...I figured if you were going to continue to sneak out every night with him, we outta get the boy and his family over.” He laughed shaking his head. “He doesn’t talk much, does he?”
A smile overtook my face knowing he was comfortable around me and wasn’t shy. “He can be shy…”
I spent the entire day fretting over it, worrying that Jack and Michelle wouldn’t like me or that they would think I wasn’t good enough.
Parker, witnessing my nerves, tried his best to comfort me. “It’ll be okay, Ro, they’re great people.”
“Yeah, you say that but they’ve never met me before. I get really nervous sometimes, and then I say stupid things,” I explained. “What if I say something stupid?”
He gave me a look of disappointment. “You don’t see yourself clearly. They will love you, just like I do.”
We left the conversation like that when Addy and Justin arrived. They’d gotten so close since they got back that this was the first time I had seen her outside of work, and that was rare for Addy and I.
Immediately, I dragged her upstairs to my room. “Have you met Jack and Michelle yet?”
Addy smiled, going through my closet and yanking out a lilac summer dress she found. “Put this on… It’ll look better than jean shorts.” I did and she smiled. “And, yes, I’ve met them. You’ll love them and they will love you.”
I wasn’t convinced until they arrived and looked like normal parents would. Jack was tall and slender, dressed in a Yamaha Racing t-shirt and jeans that had an outline of a chew can in his back pocket. Normal.
Michelle was tall with long legs and dark flowing hair that she had pulled back into a ponytail. She was normal too, dressed comfortably in a pair of shorts and a tank top.
Normal. We walked out of the sliding glass door to the large deck where the barbeque was, and Addy stayed close to me. Jack and Michelle already had a beer and were chatting with my mom and dad.
Everything was normal.
Parker found me, his grin wide, his eyes bright, and his summer cheeks, two Pepsi’s in hand. “Come on...” he tipped his head the direction of our parents “...I’ll introduce you.”
Afraid, like I wasn’t in my own house, I followed him. Parker sensed my nerves and his fingers gripped my hand a little tighter. “Relax, Ro.” His soft tone was reassuring and meant for only me. He didn’t want anyone else to hear him. “They’re great.”
Jack was the first to see me hiding myself behind Parker. My face was pressed to Parker’s shoulder, my hand intertwined with his. My other had wrapped around his forearm, my fingers rubbing against his arm hair.
My tummy was in my throat.
“Rowan?” Michelle asked, stepping in front of Jack and his bright smile and hers was just as bright.
I nodded and the next thing I knew I was in her arms.
“It’s so nice to finally meet the girl Parker can’t stop talking about.”
Parker pushed Michelle’s shoulder trying to separate us. “Okay, enough of that.” He smiled as Michelle slapped at his broad shoulders with a giggle. “I do not talk about her all the time.” He let go of my hand and tried to cover her mouth, but instead ended up putting her in a headlock. They playfully wrestled around with each other for a moment as Jack moved closer and stood beside me.
Jack cleared his throat and I looked at him. “He’s full of shit. He does talk about you.” He eyed Parker carefully but kept amusement in his voice and expression.
Parker wasn’t amused, but the more they talked, the more comfortable I was. He eventually came back to stand next to me, his hand finding mine, fingers touching fingers.
Jack and my dad talked racing, mostly NASCAR, but they talked about Supercross too and Parker’s plans for next year. I learned Parker hadn’t agreed to anything yet, but he had a meeting scheduled with Lonnie Gusto, Yamaha’s rep.
I knew of the meeting from Parker, but I didn’t know details. They were details Parker wasn’t going to disclose either.
Wrapped around each other near the fire, I listened to story after story from Jack and Michelle about Parker and Justin as kids and their early riding career. Apparently, Parker was pretty aggressive on the track but always had patience which was rare for a kid of his age.
Justin had quit riding soon after his mom had left. He wasn’t into the politics of it and hated the commitment it took. Now, with Addy securely on his lap, it was easy to see why he chose not to.
With Parker, it was easy to see he still wanted to race.
And that scared me a little because I was getting to know him, and I knew it would be short lived.
Before he left that night, we said goodbye on the porch. I was once again wra
pped up in one of his hoodies. I’d be adding another one to my collection.
“How many of my shirts do you have now?” Parker laughed, pulling at the hood when we hugged. His lips moved to my neck when he spoke.
I felt a shiver rand locked my arms around his neck, bringing my legs up around his waist.
His hands wrapped around my backside. Walking forward, he leaned against the railing of the covered porch we were standing on. Everyone else had left and we were alone. That was when Parker was himself. Even earlier with family around, he wasn’t as shy as he was when I first met him, but he held a good portion of himself inside.
Now, with me, I saw all of him.
“You have a few left, don’t you?” I asked, finding his lips.
“I have one left.” Since my weight was supported by the railing, he moved his hands to my face and deepened the kiss. He groaned, pressing forward, and I knew where this was heading—exactly where I wanted it to. Our tongues moved together, finding a line, a groove we knew. Before long, he was asking about my tree house and forgetting about sweatshirts.
The closer it got to the end of summer, the harder it was to convince myself that I’d be okay if he left. I also felt our physical relationship shift. When we kissed, we both poured a little more into those kisses. When we touched, the touch seemed to linger longer and mean more, like it was our purpose.
Maybe we were in over our heads, maybe we weren’t. I didn’t know and maybe I didn’t care. I was acting seventeen, living for secret rides in the moonlight and tree houses.
Walking back to my house from the tree house, righting my clothes and smiling, Parker stopped before reaching my backyard. He pulled me against him with his hand.
I knew what he was going to say, and I wanted to stop time so I asked, “Parker, why did you come to Shelton of all places?”
He seemed caught off guard for a moment and then squinted at me. “Jack thought it would be good to get away after what happened with Dusty, and I’ve always liked the northwest trails. So we came here. That house we live in is Michelle’s. She’s from here originally.” He swallowed, half smiling, half not, his face tense. “And then I saw you and staying for a while seemed like a good idea. I needed to get away and understand what it was I loved so much about riding. Now I know.”
