by Lisa Moreau
Jordan popped the cork on the wine and poured two glasses full. She held up her cup, which prompted Sophie to do the same.
“What shall we toast to?” Jordan asked.
Sophie thought for a moment. “How about renewed friendship?”
“I like that. A lot. To renewed friendship,” Jordan said as they bumped plastic wineglasses.
The food wasn’t half bad, even though it wasn’t from a five-star restaurant. More than anything, though, Jordan loved spending time with Sophie, talking and laughing, just like old times. After dinner, they sat side by side, sipped wine, and enjoyed the sunset over the ocean. Red and orange streaked across the sky as the blazing sun inched below the horizon. As beautiful as the scene was, Jordan couldn’t take her eyes off Sophie. She looked stunning. Her complexion glowed in golden hues as the colorful sky reflected in her blue eyes. She untied her ponytail and shook her head in slow motion, which was the sexiest thing ever. Jordan breathed in fresh rose petals, which she knew came from Sophie’s shampoo. She’d smelled it last night when she got into bed, which had kept her awake half the night. Well, maybe it wasn’t so much the shampoo as it was having Sophie inches away.
Jordan grabbed the wine bottle and refilled their glasses. She needed a task to divert her attention away from staring. It was bordering on creepy.
“You are trying to get me drunk,” Sophie said as she seductively walked her fingers down Jordan’s arm and rested her hand on her thigh. “I’m definitely tipsy.”
“I think I might be a little buzzed myself. Good thing we didn’t drive.” Jordan stared at Sophie’s fingers, which traced an invisible infinity symbol on her leg. Her head spun, but she wasn’t sure if that was from the drink or Sophie’s touch. Sophie brushed a strand of hair from Jordan’s forehead before sweeping her fingers through Jordan’s locks over and over, causing electricity to shoot to her toes. Touchy-feely Sophie was fun. They should drink more often.
Sophie cupped the nape of Jordan’s neck and pulled her closer. “Do you make a habit of getting women drunk?”
It took Jordan longer than normal to respond, with Sophie’s lips, eyes, breath so close. Actually, come to think of it, she didn’t respond. She just stared.
“Did you get that sexy French actress drunk?” Sophie asked. “Just how many women have you been with the past ten years, huh?”
Okay, maybe Sophie was a little more than tipsy. Jordan finally found her voice once Sophie stopped stroking her hair. “Um…not many. How about you?”
“No one who meant anything. You…” Sophie slurred, as she poked Jordan hard on the shoulder. “You ruined me for all other women.”
“What?” Jordan asked, perplexed.
Sophie swayed as she reached for the wine bottle and took a swig, not bothering to use the glass. “You made me love you. Just like that Patsy Cline song. I didn’t want to do it, but you made me love you.”
Jordan grabbed the bottle out of Sophie’s hand. “Okay. I think you’ve had way too much to drink.”
Sophie steadied herself and focused on Jordan. “I might be a little drunk, but it’s the truth. I loved you.” Jordan’s heart raced. When she didn’t respond, Sophie continued. “Remember when I said I came out in college? Well, it was when I came out to everyone, but not to myself. I knew I was a lesbian the day you left. It hit me when I got home after the earthquake, after you were gone. It was then that I realized how much I loved you.”
Jordan stared at Sophie as the information sank in. She sounded serious and suddenly sober. “You were in love with me when we were teenagers?” Jordan asked, needing confirmation.
Sophie slowly shook her head and looked like she might cry. “It killed me when you left.”
“God, Sophie.” Jordan buried her face in her hands.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Now I’ve made you uncomfortable. Chalk this up to an embarrassing drunken tirade.” Sophie started to get up but Jordan grabbed her arm.
“Wait…I was in love with you, too. I had no idea you felt the same way. You’re all I thought about. You were all I wanted. I loved you so much, more than anyone I’ve ever known. My dad threw me out because he found out how much I cared about you. He said it was disgusting, and I thought you’d feel the same way. I couldn’t tell you why I was leaving. I thought you’d hate me.”
Jordan had kept her feelings locked away for more than ten years. Admitting them aloud was like breaking out of solitary confinement and standing in the warmth of the sun. She couldn’t pretend any longer. Sophie knew the truth. Jordan had never realized how that secret had been weighing her down. She felt lighter than she had in years.
Sophie’s eyes swirled with emotion―confusion, shock, and maybe fear. “You left because you were in love with me?” She paused, looked at the ocean, then back at Jordan. “You mean we were in love with each other, but neither of us said anything? What would our lives have been like, where would we be, if one of us had been honest?”
A tidal wave of regret washed over Jordan. She knew exactly where they’d be, in each other’s arms. Jordan would have never left Sophie’s side. They could have had a life together instead of apart.
Chapter Nineteen
Butterfly Kisses
They had barely said two words to each other after their confessions the night before. Sophie wasn’t sure what was going through Jordan’s mind, but she was still in shock. How could she not have known Jordan had been in love with her when they were teenagers? In retrospect, every emotion-filled glance, every thoughtful gesture, every word out of her mouth had screamed love. Maybe she hadn’t wanted to see it at the time. She hadn’t been ready to admit her own feelings, much less Jordan’s.
Sophie resisted the urge to ask Jordan what she was thinking―or even scarier, what she was feeling―as they drove down the Pacific Coast Highway on their way back to Monarch. She usually liked to get everything out in the open, but now she wasn’t sure what to say. Discussing it wouldn’t change anything, and it wasn’t like they could be together now. They had different lives, different priorities, lived in different cities. It would never work. That’s what she tried to convince herself of, anyway.
One more second of silence and Sophie would scream. If they weren’t going to talk, they needed a diversion. She made a sharp right, slamming on the brakes as she took a thirty-five-mile-per-hour exit going at least fifty. Jordan lunged and knocked her head on the sun visor.
“Sorry.” Sophie bit her bottom lip. Jordan started to say something but stared at Sophie’s mouth instead. Finally, she peeled her eyes away. “I thought we could stop off at the Preston Monarch Grove. It’s just up the road.”
“Sure. Whatever you want.”
Jordan sounded about as excited as a kid getting socks on Christmas morning, but Sophie pulled into the parking lot anyway. Butterflies always calmed her nerves, and she could commune better with them than with Jordan at the moment. Sophie rummaged in the backseat and pulled out two water bottles, handing one to Jordan, before they headed down the trail. They walked in silence until they reached a eucalyptus grove filled with thousands of monarchs, either in the trees or flying about and whizzing past them.
“You’ve been here before?” Jordan asked.
Sophie lifted her chin and gazed into the branches. “A couple of times. I usually stop here on my way back from Big Sur.” Sophie wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered.
“Are you cold? You should have brought your jacket.” Before Sophie could respond, Jordan took off her Venice Beach sweatshirt and handed it to her.
“I can’t take that. You’ll freeze.”
“I’ll be fine. I dressed in layers.”
“Thanks. You always did take good care of me.” Sophie slipped the shirt over her head, touched by the gesture. The fleece surrounded her like a warm, cozy blanket, but most of all she liked wearing something that belonged to Jordan. The sweatshirt might have to get “lost” in her closet. She sat on a tree stump as several butterflies circled he
r head.
“Tell me what you love most about monarchs,” Jordan said.
Sophie thought for a moment before she responded. “There are so many things, but I’d say the most amazing one is how they migrate to the same trees each year. It’s incredible that millions of infant butterflies, who have never been to their ancestral breeding grounds, return to the very trees that their parents roosted in before they were born. It begs the question of how do they know which trees are the right ones to hibernate in.”
“So, how do they know?”
“Pure instinct.”
“I never understood how such a fragile creature could fly that far. To me, that’s the most amazing thing about them.”
“I know. They fly 2,500 miles.”
“That far? No way.”
“Way,” Sophie said with a smile. “Similar to migrating birds, they glide on air currents to preserve energy. Monarchs are the only butterflies that make two-way migrations as birds do. It’s a crime the population is declining. Twenty years ago there were five hundred million monarchs, and today there are only fifty million.” Sophie liked Jordan’s interest in butterflies. The more she knew, maybe the less likely she’d be to sell the sanctuary.
“That much of a decrease?”
“People cutting down trees are destroying wintering sites, and herbicides are killing off milkweed. If we don’t do something to protect the monarchs, they’ll keep declining.”
Jordan took a swig of water and looked deep in thought. “One less eucalyptus grove won’t make a difference. Not when there are so many others.”
Sophie jerked her head toward Jordan. “If you’re referring to the monarch sanctuary, seven thousand butterflies migrate there every year. Granted, it’s not one of the largest groves, but that’s thousands of monarchs that won’t have a place to go if it didn’t exist.”
Jordan was silent, hopefully taking in the information. Sophie wanted to say more but didn’t want to push it. Instead, she inhaled the sweet scent of eucalyptus, closed her eyes, and held out her hand. Within minutes, a butterfly landed in her palm. She opened her eyes and gazed at the beautiful creature. The orange-and-black wings always reminded her of a cathedral stained-glass window.
“How do you do that? How do you get a butterfly to land in your hand?”
Sophie shrugged. “I don’t know. It just happens.”
“No, really. Tell me. You’re like a magician.”
“Well, there’s a quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne that sums it up perfectly. He said, ‘Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.’”
“So, what does that mean, exactly?”
The butterfly in Sophie’s hand flapped its wings and flew into the tree. She rose and stood beside Jordan.
“It’s about letting go. Here. Turn around and give me your hand.” Sophie stood close behind Jordan and wrapped both arms around her. Jordan tensed when Sophie grabbed her hand. “Relax and let go.”
Sophie closed her eyes and silently sighed. The sensation of Jordan in her arms felt amazing. She rested her cheek on Jordan’s shoulder and resisted the urge to hold her closer.
“What now?” Jordan asked.
Sophie’s eyes fluttered open. “Mentally request that a butterfly come to you and then patiently wait. The key is not to try to make it happen. Just trust that it will.”
It took less than a minute for a monarch to land in Jordan’s palm. “Oh my God! I can’t believe it.” Jordan stood completely still, probably so as not to scare the monarch.
“See. I told you it would work.” Sophie couldn’t help but smile at Jordan’s excitement.
“But…it probably only happened because you’re here.” And with that, the butterfly flew away. Jordan turned around and frowned. “It’s gone.”
Sophie put her hands on Jordan’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. “That’s because you didn’t trust.”
“How’d you get so smart?” Jordan hooked her fingers in Sophie’s belt loops and pulled her closer. It was an impromptu move that seemed to surprise them both.
Sophie’s breath hitched when Jordan’s breasts brushed her own. “I…I read a lot.”
Jordan’s gaze dropped to Sophie’s lips for what felt like an excruciatingly long time. “Reading is good. What do you read?”
“Books.”
“Books are good. What else?”
Sophie didn’t respond. Instead, she stared at Jordan’s lips, which were plump and inviting. The desire to kiss Jordan overrode any good sense she had. In fact, she couldn’t remember ever wanting anything so much before. Sophie leaned forward and pressed her lips against Jordan’s, instantly melting into her warm mouth. If Jordan was shocked by the kiss, she didn’t show it. She claimed Sophie’s mouth possessively, which was a huge turn-on. It was like they’d been kissing for years. This was no awkward first kiss. It teemed with passion, like a hot-blooded tango, with Jordan whisking her off her feet.
Sophie’s hands slid down Jordan’s back as she pressed their bodies closer. She moaned when Jordan’s tongue grazed her bottom lip. Wanting more of her, Sophie opened her mouth wider, kissing her deeply. Jordan’s low, raspy groan when their tongues touched turned Sophie’s limbs to rubber. The beating pulse between Sophie’s legs wasn’t surprising, but she couldn’t explain why her stomach clenched and a wave of emotion cascaded upward into her chest, warming her heart. It felt like drinking hot chocolate on a wintery day, or being wrapped in a warm blanket. Sophie had made out with expert kissers before, but she’d never felt this way. But then again, she’d never kissed Jordan.
Sophie’s eyes fluttered open when she felt something scrape against her cheek. Reluctantly, she moved her head back. Two monarchs flew between them and flapped their wings rapidly before soaring away.
“Great timing, guys,” Sophie said, as they both released nervous chuckles.
Still wrapped in each other’s arms, Sophie gazed at Jordan. In that moment, she was quite possibly the sexiest woman Sophie had ever seen. Desire radiated from her smoldering eyes, her cheeks flushed, and slightly parted, moist lips begged to be ravished yet again. Just as Sophie was about to lean close for another kiss, Jordan released her hold, stepped back, and stuck her hands into her pockets. Sophie shivered, suddenly cold. Jordan’s expression was hard to read, desire mixed with fear. She took another step back, putting more distance between them, and looked at her watch.
“We should probably get going,” Jordan said.
Sophie stared, not sure how to respond or what was happening. One minute Jordan was kissing the hell out of her, and the next she looked like she couldn’t get away fast enough. Jordan cleared her throat, grabbed her backpack, and started down the trail. Sophie stood motionless for several seconds until she followed. They hiked back to the car and drove most of the way home in silence. Sophie was bursting with questions, but Jordan had erected an invisible electric fence between them, and she didn’t particularly want to get shocked. It was frightening how quickly and efficiently Jordan could seal herself off. Talk about going from hot to cold with the snap of a finger.
Sophie spent the quiet drive home second-guessing her actions and blaming herself. Had she flung herself at Jordan? Maybe she didn’t want to be kissed? But then again, she’d certainly responded. She was as clearly turned on as Sophie was. So why had she pulled away? Did Sophie do something weird with her tongue that turned her off? There had to be some reason.
It was dark by the time they reached Monarch. Sophie parked alongside Jordan’s car and popped her trunk. Jordan grabbed her bags and slung them into the Jaguar. Several awkward moments of silence passed as they stood there, avoiding eye contact.
“Thanks again for your help at the reservation,” Sophie said.
“You’re welcome. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jordan hopped into her car, revved the engine, and screeched her tires as she pulled away.
> Sophie stared at the red, disappearing taillights, wondering what the hell had just happened.
Chapter Twenty
Winged Adults
Jordan leaned against the bathroom counter and stared at her reflection in the mirror. What was she doing kissing Sophie? That wasn’t part of the plan. Women complicated things, especially smart, beautiful, totally amazing, utterly kissable women. God, could she kiss. Jordan closed her eyes and groaned. She had really screwed up. For the past ten years she’d fantasized about kissing Sophie, and now, knowing that the reality was a hundred times better made things even harder. Jordan splashed cool water on her face. She needed to focus, get back on track. Knowing how Sophie had felt about her ten years ago didn’t change anything now. Jordan was in Monarch for one reason only, and that was to do her time, sell the land, and get back to LA. Sophie would always be special, and she was glad they’d become friends again, but that was as far as it could go.
Jordan showered, dressed, and headed to Mr. Simms’s office for her ten a.m. appointment. Nanci was sitting in the waiting room when she arrived.
“Hello, Jordan. It’s nice to see you again.” Nanci stood and shook her hand firmly. “When did you and Sophie get back from your trip?”
“Late last night.”
“You two seem quite close. Do I have competition?” Nanci nudged Jordan’s arm.
It took her a second to understand what Nanci meant. “No, of course not. Sophie and I are just friends.” Did that sound convincing?
“Good to know because I’d like to ask her out again.”
Jordan’s stomach clenched. The thought of Nanci’s lips on Sophie, her hands caressing her skin, their bodies pressed together, made her ill. Nanci raised an eyebrow, which made Jordan wonder what her expression looked like. She forced a smile. “Go for it.”
Nanci grinned widely and rubbed her palms together. “Excellent.”
