by Chiah Wilder
A small pause. “Thank you. You’re a wonderful brother. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ve been there for me ever since Mom died,” she said softly.
He didn’t want to think about their mother, about the red-smeared walls and furniture, about finding her sprawled on the floor swimming in her own blood. He didn’t want to revisit the scene he conjured up most days and nights.
It’d been sixteen years since he came home from school and walked into a nightmare, his mother’s body bruised and stabbed on the dining room floor. He’d been fourteen and had come home early because of an injury he’d sustained when he and some of his buddies were roughhousing during lunch. When he’d first seen his mother, the reality of what had happened hadn’t sunk in. He’d called his father right away and then the police. His father had made it to their house before the police, and when he came in and saw his slain wife, he’d fallen to his knees and wept uncontrollably. Paco’s father’s cries still echoed through his brain all these years later. He’d never be able to expunge them.
“Hello? Are you still with me?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“You were thinking about Mom and the horrible thing Dad did to her, weren’t you?” she whispered.
Taking a deep breath, he blew it out slowly. “No point in recalling all that shit. I’ll be near Richfield this weekend. I’m going to a biker rally. I’ll stop in and see how you and the kids are doing.”
“Another visit from you so soon. I love it! I know the boys will be ecstatic about seeing you again.”
“I’ll call you toward the end of the week and let you know when I’m coming. Take care of yourself, and call me if you need anything.”
“I will. I love you,” she said.
“Yeah. See you.”
He put the phone on the end table and twisted off the cap on the whiskey shooter, downing it in one long drink before lighting another joint, stretching his legs out in front of him. He wasn’t going back to Utah for the rally or to see his sister; he was going because a dark-haired woman had captured his imagination. With one glance, her soulful eyes pulled him in, and he wanted to see her again.
A billow of smoke ribboned around him as he blew out. Paco had no idea what it was about this particular woman that intrigued him so much, didn’t know why he couldn’t get her out of his head. A part of him feared the deep stirrings inside him, but he ignored the unease.
Maybe when I see her again, I won’t feel anything. I bet I was just tired from the long ride and the storm. I’ll see her, make sure she’s okay, and then move on. When I get back, I’ll party with Lucy. I may even ask her to spend the night with me. I’ll be back on track. I just need to see Misty one last time, and then all will be good.
Watching the mist thicken outside, he rested his head back against the cushion and closed his eyes.
Chapter Four
The chilly wind’s harsh bite whipped around Misty, making its way through her leggings, and she pressed her knees close to ward off the cold. Her hair fell loose around her face and shoulders, tousled, tangled. She bowed her head, wrapped her arms tighter around herself, and headed to the diner.
The heat calmed her chattering teeth as she stepped into the restaurant, walked quickly to the first booth, and slid inside. She glanced out the window and saw Crystal and Amber Jade moving between the lanes of trucks. She knew she should be out there hustling, but it was so cold, and she was so tired.
Earlier, several men had taken the bait when Bobby had her get on the CB to see who was interested in what she was offering. She had some men lined up, but she didn’t feel like being with any of them. She was sick of what her life had become. When she’d been back home, she’d never dreamed her life would turn out like this. She’d wanted to go to college and study theater. One of the things she’d loved best was acting in the school plays at Roosevelt High.
Misty supposed she was getting plenty of acting experience every time she pretended to like what she was doing, and most of her interactions with Bobby were lies. The truth was she couldn’t stand the bastard, and it repulsed her whenever he touched her.
In the beginning, she’d fought hard, but after a long time, he’d broken her. She’d been resigned to the fact that her life would always be this way until she’d met Paco. For that brief slice of time she’d spent with him, he’d made her want to get away from the shame and filth her life had become. But she knew she really couldn’t escape without harm coming to her family.
Sighing, she rubbed her hands together to warm them up. You have no idea what an impact you had on me, Paco. She hadn’t been to the diner since the night she’d met him, and she was half hoping he’d be there, drinking a cup of coffee.
“Unless you got money, your skank ass is outta here,” Holly said.
The nasty woman’s voice shattered her thoughts. “Bobby paid the tab,” she replied.
“No, he didn’t. He probably spent the money you fuck for on a woman who isn’t a whore. Do you got money?”
Misty’s insides tightened as she opened her coin purse.
“And the biker isn’t here to feel sorry for you, so either show me the money or get the hell outta here.”
Taking out three dollars in quarters, she threw the coins on the table. “A cup of hot tea. Bring me some honey and a glass of water with lemon.”
“I oughta throw your ass out, you filthy lot lizard.” She whirled around and walked toward the kitchen.
Her words stung as hard as if she’d slapped Misty across the face. She’s right. I’m nothing but scum. The bottom of the barrel, even for sex workers. She wiped her eyes and pretended to be looking for something in her purse when Holly came back and slammed down the cup of tea. The brown liquid sloshed over the rim and spilled on the table. Without looking at her, Misty pulled out a few napkins from the dispenser and wiped up the mess before ripping open a packet of honey.
As she drank her tea, she looked down at her phone. She’d googled the keywords “surplus store” and “Alina,” and two stores had popped up in the town. She’d been toying with the idea of calling him for the past couple of days, but each time she tapped in the number, she’d chickened out.
What would I say to him, and where would it get me? I can’t escape. She stirred her tea. It’s better to forget all about him and give up on the crazy notion that I’ll be freed. If I want to avoid a beating from Bobby, I have to focus on earning enough money tonight. I know Crystal and Amber Jade will tell Bobby they saw me in the diner. Those bitches.
The fantasy of Paco rescuing her from her shitty life didn’t get her anywhere. That shit only happens in fairy tales, the ones Mom used to read to me. Fuck… that was such a long time ago.
“Can I sit with you?” an older woman asked as she slid in the seat across from Misty. “I gotta get off my feet for a while.”
Her thoughts splintered and she looked at the woman. Misty had seen her hauling her ass in and out of cabs since she’d arrived at the truck stop with Bobby, Crystal, and Amber Jade three months before. The woman looked to be in her early fifties, her face lined and weathered from too much sun, her teeth rotted. Misty was pretty sure she was a meth user like most of the women on the lot. She felt sorry for her because she had to compete with the younger flesh flocking to the lot night after night. Misty often saw the woman hustling during the day. She probably knew the younger women preferred the nights when they could do shameful things under the cover of darkness.
“Are you having a good night?” Misty asked as she stirred another packet of honey into her tea.
“Not so good. My feet are killing me. What about you?”
Misty shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
“You doing this ’cause it pays better than some crappy-ass minimum-wage job, or are you forced to do it?” She stared fixedly at her.
Misty cleared her throat and sat up straighter. “It pays the bills. What about you?”
“I’ve been flying solo for almost thirty years. I was about your a
ge when I started. I’ve quit so many times, but I always come back. The pay is good, and I don’t have to declare shit to the government.” She guffawed, then leaned back. “I’m Shirley.”
“Misty.”
“Hey, Shirley. What can I get you?” Holly asked.
“I’ll have the BLT with extra mayo. Bring me some coffee.”
“Black, right?” Holly smiled, and Shirley nodded.
“Can I have some more hot water?” Misty asked.
Holly rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you the big spender? I can’t have you taking up space drinking hot water.”
“Just bring me the water. I fuckin’ paid for it.” Holly glared at her, then marched away. “She’s such a fuckin’ bitch.”
Shirley chuckled. “She thinks she’s better than us because she doesn’t get paid to fuck. Actually, she’s pretty stupid. She’s been giving it out for free to all the long-haul drivers for the past three years, and she’s still stuck in this shithole.”
“She doesn’t seem to have a problem with you. I hate the bitch.”
“Look at me, sweetie. Would you be jealous of me? She hates you because you’re pretty and clean. I can tell you don’t use. And the way that biker stood up for you made her madder than hell. She wanted to fuck him so bad.” Shirley laughed.
“How’d you know about Paco?”
“She told me and anyone who would listen. She couldn’t believe that he picked you over her. I just wished I was here to see it.”
“He was just helping me out. Nothing happened. I was so sick that night, I just fell asleep, and he was a real gentleman.”
“That’s a first. I used to party hard with bikers when I was younger. I worked in some of their strip clubs, and ‘gentlemen’ isn’t a word I’d use in describing them. But they sure know how to party and give a gal a good time. I had some great times when I was younger.”
Holly put the BLT in front of Shirley. “Can I get you anything else?”
The woman glanced at Misty. “You want something to eat?”
Holly scowled.
A low growl rumbled from Misty’s stomach, and she squirmed in her seat trying to quiet it. “I’m good.”
Shirley shook her head. “No you ain’t. Do you like BLTs?”
With eyes cast downward, Misty nodded. Holly huffed out an exaggerated breath and stomped away.
“Thanks,” Misty said softly. “I’ll pay you back.”
“I know you will. No rush. Where you from?”
She raised her eyes and met Shirley’s pale blue ones. “Why?”
The woman took a big bite of her sandwich and chewed for a few seconds. “I was just wondering. I’m from Arizona, but I’ve been traveling all around the country. I’ve been here for about three years. It’s the longest I’ve ever stayed in one place in a real long time.” She popped a potato chip in her mouth and crunched down on it.
“We do a lot of traveling too. Especially in Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. It’s not so humid here, so I like that.”
Holly slammed the plate down in front of Misty and stalked away.
“So you’re not gonna tell me where you come from. Are you sure you’re here ’cause you wanna be?” Shirley looked at her pointedly.
“Yeah.” She bit into the BLT. “This is really good. I can’t remember the last time I had a BLT.” In a couple of minutes, she’d finished her sandwich and chips. “I guess I was hungry.” She laughed dryly.
“You gotta eat.”
“Thanks, Shirley.” Misty glanced at the flashing screen on her phone.
Bobby: Y the fuck r u in the diner?
“Those bitches,” she muttered under her breath.
Misty: Just stopped in 4 hot tea. Still sick. Leaving now.
Bobby: U better bring home 500 bucks or I’ll be pissed.
A shiver of fear wrapped around her spine.
Misty: I will. No worries.
Bobby: Move ur fuckin’ ass. NOW.
Sliding her phone in her jacket pocket, she scooted to the edge of the booth. “I have to get back out there. Thanks again, Shirley. I’ll pay you back. Promise.” She pushed the coins over to her. “That’s for my tea.”
“Take care of yourself. Be careful whose cab you go into.”
Misty smiled. It’d been a long time since someone cared about her well-being. For a split second, Shirley reminded her of her mom. “I will. See you around.”
The wind slashed through her as she rushed over to the middle row of trucks. Several of the drivers honked, and a couple flashed their lights. She waved at them, holding up her hand indicating that she was going to visit them all. Someone’s on my side tonight. I’ll definitely make more than what Bobby’s expecting.
Happy that she’d avoided a beating, she opened the door of a semi and pulled herself in.
* * *
At four in the morning, she quietly turned the doorknob and went inside the RV. Bobby’s snores greeted her, and she hoped he’d stay sleeping when she was ready to slip between the sheets. The last thing she wanted was to have him paw her.
Turning on a small lamp on the counter, she saw numerous beer cans strewn across the counter and the small table. Elation coursed through her—he’d passed out and would be out cold for the next several hours.
After drinking a bottle of water, she went into the bathroom and jumped into the shower. The warm water made her relax for the first time in the past several hours, and she rubbed her skin over and over, trying to wash off the memories of that night. Taking a shower after her shift had become a ritual she looked forward to every night. It gave her order in a life filled with chaos.
She padded to the bed and gingerly slid between the sheets. Bobby kept snoring. She closed her eyes, waiting for the refuge of sleep to take her away for a few hours.
* * *
Rays of sunlight pierced her eyes as she slowly opened them. The scent of coffee permeated the room, and she heard the clang of pans and the low sizzle of something frying in a pan. Breakfast links. How she hated them. The smell alone made her want to puke. She pulled the covers over her head to block out the sun and the smells.
“Get up, lazy bones.” The bed dipped, Bobby’s hand running over her hip and leg. “You did real good, baby. Seven hundred and fifty bucks. Fuck, you must’ve been on fire last night. Crystal and Amber Jade didn’t bring that much in for the two of them. You hungry?”
“Not really. I’d rather sleep for a few more hours. I got in late last night.”
“You can sleep while I drive.”
A knot formed in the pit of her stomach. “Why’re you driving?”
“We’re pulling outta here.”
It was as if he’d thrown a bucket of ice water at her. Her heart beat in overtime, hitting against her chest so hard she feared her ribs would break and her skin would rip apart.
I can’t leave. How will Paco know where I am?
“Although, I’m tempted to stay after the money you brought in last night. If I hadn’t made the arrangement, we’d stay a bit longer.” He pulled down the covers and stroked her hair.
Don’t touch me, you disgusting asshole. I can’t go. Then his thin, cold lips kissed her. It was a sloppy kiss, and it turned her stomach. You’re being ridiculous. You’ve moved so many times. Why is this any different? And don’t you dare think about Paco. You’re being ridiculous. Like he’d ever come back here looking for you.
“What’s the matter? Did you give it all away last night?” He laughed and roughly squeezed her breast under her thin nightshirt.
“Do we have to go? I don’t want to.”
Suddenly he wrapped his fist around her hair and yanked it hard. Her eyes watered and she cried out before he brought his face inches away from hers. “I’m not asking you what the fuck you want. You don’t have an opinion. You don’t think. All you do is fuck. I own you, and I tell you what the fuck to do, when to do it, and where to do it.” Spit from his mouth wet her face. For good measure, he pulled her hair so hard she feared it�
��d rip out of her scalp.
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever question me again, slut,” he growled as he smacked her hard across the face then walked out of the room.
She rubbed her tingling scalp, then buried her face in the pillow, suppressing her sobs.
Thirty minutes later, Misty sat in the front passenger seat as Bobby pulled away from the gas pump. Hitting the highway, she glanced in the rearview mirror and stared at the truck stop as it became smaller and smaller, then eventually disappeared. She put on her sunglasses and focused on the mountains in the distance as the sand and sagebrush blew across the highway.
Chapter Five
With two black saddlebags in hand, Paco zipped them on the yoke and tightened the belt to make sure there was enough clearance from the bottom of the packs to the top of the rear tire. He glanced over at Shotgun, who had just finished installing his bags. Normally, Paco and the other bikers would dismount the satchels when they returned from a longer trip. Paco pulled on the packs to make sure they were secure, then slid his leather gloves on while he waited for Goldie, Army, Chains, and Cueball to come out.
“No rain in the forecast,” Shotgun said as he tightened the screws on his bags.
“Glad of that.” Paco leaned against his bike and lit a joint. Winters in Alina were a combination of bitter winds, rain, and sometimes snow. The San Juan Mountains could be treacherous in the winter with all the snow and ice that covered them, and it would be a pain in the ass to ride if it started raining.
“Are you finished, Shotgun?” Army asked, walking over to a shiny amber Harley.
“Just about,” Shotgun replied.
“I’m gonna ride with you guys until we get to Moab, and then I’ll join you at the rally.” Paco opened one of the bags and took out his sunglasses.
“Whatcha got going in Moab?” Army asked.
“Just something personal.” He put on his sunglasses and swung his leg over his Harley.
