by Sue MacKay
‘That will take a lot of work on your part, but I don’t see why not.’ When disbelief stared him in the eye, he added, ‘You’re a champion rower so you know what it’s like to work your butt off to get where you want to be. This will be harder. Your muscles will need strengthening and the bone will require time to knit.’ He hoped he wasn’t misleading Kelly. ‘You may have to compensate in some way for the damaged leg, but we won’t know for sure until further down the track.’
Tears slid down her cheeks. ‘You’re honest, but I don’t have to like what you’re telling me. It’s going to be painful for a while, isn’t it?’
‘You’ll have painkillers.’ Bone pain. Not good. ‘A physiotherapist will have you working on that leg when I think you’re ready.’
‘When are you operating?’
‘As soon as I get things sorted a nurse will come and get you ready for Theatre.’ He stood up. ‘I’ll see you in there. Have your family been told about the accident?’
‘Mum and Dad are on their way from Whangarei, but I don’t want to wait. If I’ve had surgery before they arrive it’ll be easier on them.’ She shifted on the bed and cried out as pain jagged her.
‘Take it easy. Try to stay as still as possible. You’ll soon be given a pre-anaesthetic drug that will make you feel drowsy and dull your senses a little.’ Zac nodded at the nurse on the other side of the bed. ‘I’ll talk to the anaesthetist now, get everything under way.’
As he headed out of the ED to arrange everything Zac rubbed the back of his neck. What a night.
*
‘Morning, everyone. Sorry I’m late. Forgot to set my alarm.’ Olivia slid into the only vacant chair at the table in the hotel dining room where she was having a late brunch with Andy and his family, Maxine and Brent Sutherland, who were Andy’s close friends, and Zac.
‘Have a late night?’ Zac asked.
She scowled at him. ‘Something like that.’
He told her, ‘I’ve been in surgery.’
‘Already? Were you on call?’ He’d have mentioned it, wouldn’t he?
‘A bus went over the bank near Waiwera. The hospital needed orthopaedic surgeons in a hurry.’
‘Why was a bus travelling through the night?’ she asked.
‘Taking rowers home from the nationals down south.’
‘Coffee or tea?’ A waitress hovered with the brunch menu.
‘We’ve all ordered,’ Zac informed her.
‘The kitchen will make sure your meal comes out with the others,’ the waitress said. ‘Drink?’
Yes, yes, yes. Give me a moment. Olivia took the proffered menu. ‘A pot of English Breakfast tea, thank you.’ A quick read of the list of tasty dishes on offer. ‘Pancakes with bacon and banana, and lots of maple syrup.’
When she turned to find Zac watching her with a soft smile on those adorable lips she snapped, ‘What?’
‘Pancakes and syrup? I thought you’d be a muesli and fruit girl.’
She was. Always. But this morning her usually strict control over her diet had gone the same place any control seemed to go when Zac was around—out west somewhere beyond the hills. ‘Thought I’d spoil myself.’ She looked around the table at her friends. Zac’s friends too, don’t forget. ‘Did everyone enjoy last night?’
‘You have to ask?’ Maxine asked with a grin. ‘The band kept playing until one and only stopped because the hotel management asked them to.’
‘The dinner was amazing,’ Brent added.
Olivia looked at the boys sitting quietly opposite her. ‘Did you all have fun too?’
‘Yeah. But Mum made us go to our room early. I liked dancing,’ the oldest said.
‘Your mum’s mean.’ Andy grinned tiredly. Now that the excitement of the night before had worn off he looked as though he had little energy left.
‘It’s part of the job description,’ Zac added.
‘That was a generous gift from Paul,’ Maxine chipped in. ‘I’m assuming you’re both going to take it up. I mean, who wouldn’t go to a luxury island in Fiji, all expenses paid? I know I would.’
‘Does everyone know?’ Olivia shivered. No way would she go after how things had played out last night in Zac’s apartment. Nearly a week sharing a bure with Zac would make a joke of her self-control. Remaining impervious to Zac’s charm would be impossible. As she’d already proved. ‘I don’t think I’ll be going.’ Unfortunately her eyes drifted to the right and locked with Zac’s.
‘If that’s what you want.’
She wasn’t sure about it being what she wanted, but she knew it was how it had to be for her sanity. Amidst exclamations from just about everyone else at the table Olivia told Zac quietly, for his ears only, ‘It’s for the best.’
‘Yours, or mine?’ Why the disappointment? Surely he hadn’t thought they’d be having a five-day sex fest? Though, if she was being truthful with herself, he had good reason to think that, given how quickly they’d leapt into each other’s arms last night.
‘Ours.’ A picture of blue sea and coconut palms crossed her mind. Going to Fiji would be marvellous. That lump at the bottom of her stomach was her disappointment. It was a great opportunity and she was reneging on it.
‘Last night you accepted.’ Zac’s words arrowed to the core of her concern.
‘I did.’ She’d be letting Paul down after he’d done something so generous. She wasn’t used to people doing things like that for her. She had a feeling she’d also let Zac down. Would he want to go alone? Or could he take someone else with him? Jealousy raised its ugly head. She didn’t want Zac going to the tropical island with another woman. If he was going she wanted to be the one at his side. In his arms. Gulp. Make up your mind. What do you want with Zac?
She wanted Zac in her life. But to follow up on that would be dangerous. What if they did get close; moved in together? How long would that last? When her mother acted once too often with the mess Olivia was used to dealing with, would Zac walk? If she had a month like she’d had in February, when she’d had so much work she’d all but lived in the hospital for four weeks, would he begrudge the time he didn’t have with her and leave? There’d only been one man in her life she’d loved unconditionally—her father—and he’d deserted her. She doubted her ability to cope with anyone else doing that to her.
Her tea arrived and she concentrated on pouring, tried hard to ignore the dilemma going on in her head.
But Zac didn’t seem to have any problem continuing the conversation. ‘I take it this is because of what happened in my apartment?’ He leaned closer so only she could hear him.
Unfortunately his movement brought that heady smell that defined him closer to her nostrils. There was no avoiding the scent, or the challenge in his eyes. ‘We wouldn’t be able to go the distance without touching each other.’
‘Is that what you want?’ Disbelief darkened his eyes, deepened his voice. Who could blame him? Last night she hadn’t mucked around about getting into the sack with him. He asked, ‘Seriously?
No, she wanted to spend the whole time in bed with him. That was the problem. ‘It’s what I need.’
Zac sat back, leaning away from her, his gaze fixed on her as though he hoped to see inside her skull and read her mind. ‘I should be glad you’re saying no, but there’s one fabulous holiday going begging. Until Paul pointed it out I hadn’t realised how much I could do with a break. Fiji would be perfect.’
Olivia said, ‘You can still go.’
‘Not much fun alone,’ he said softly.
‘Apply the pressure, why don’t you?’
‘Yep.’
‘Not happening,’ she muttered. Lifting her cup, Olivia tried to concentrate on what the others were talking about. When the meals arrived she joined in the conversation, relieved that the subject of Fiji had been dropped. But all the while that picture of the sea and coconut palms remained at the forefront of her mind, with Zac firmly in the middle.
Her phone rang just as everyone was getting up from the table to
go their separate ways.
‘Olivia, it’s Hugo. I’m sorry to disturb your weekend when I said I’d cover for you, but I’m concerned about Anna Seddon.’
Alarm made her voice sharp. ‘What’s up?’ Anna was a healthy woman who shouldn’t be having any post-op complications.
‘Medically she’s fine. Her obs couldn’t be better, she slept well until four this morning. But she’s having a meltdown about the operation. I’ve tried talking to her but I’m a mere male and have no idea what it’s like to have my breasts removed.’ Hugo sighed. ‘She’s right, of course.’
‘Of all the people I’ve done that procedure for I’d never have thought Anna would break up about it. She’s been so pragmatic.’ Olivia echoed Hugo’s sigh. ‘Is her husband with her?’
‘Yes, and looking lost. She keeps yelling at him to go away. He doesn’t know how to help her either.’
And I can? She had to try. She’d told Anna she’d be there for her throughout this difficult time, and she had meant it. ‘I’ll come over now.’ She dropped her phone into her handbag and turned to face everyone. ‘Thanks for the catch-up, guys. I’ve got to go.’
Maxine stepped up to give her a hug. ‘Don’t take so long next time. I want to hear all the details about your trip to Fiji.’
‘There won’t be any. I’m not going.’ She tried to free herself from Maxine’s arms and failed.
‘Go. It would be good for you.’
Maxine dropped her arms to her sides and Olivia stepped back.
‘You might be surprised.’
Olivia couldn’t help herself: she glanced across at the man in question. His familiar face snatched at her heart. Talking animatedly with the others, he appeared relaxed and comfortable in his own skin. Then he looked over at her and winked. Caught. He’d been aware of her scrutiny all along. Like they were in tune with each other, which was nonsense. They’d never been like that. Except when it came to sex. But there was nothing sexual about that wink. It had been more a ‘Hey, girl’ gesture. Friendly and caring, not deep and loving or hot and demanding. But it had been…? Nice? Yes, nice.
Turning back to Maxine, she said, ‘I’d better run. A patient needs me.’
‘You have to be somewhere in a hurry?’ Zac strode alongside her as she raced for the lobby and the elevators, keen to get away before anyone else brought up the subject of that trip away with Zac.
‘The hospital. I did a double mastectomy and implant yesterday morning and apparently my patient is losing it big time this morning.’
‘That’s a biggie for any woman to deal with.’
‘She’s been so brave all the way through discussions about the operation and what size implants she’d like. She’s dealt with her family’s history of breast cancer matter-of-factly, and accepted she didn’t have a lot of choice if she wanted longevity. Guess it had to catch up with her some time.’
‘Has she got good support from her family?’ Zac asked as he pressed the up button for the elevator.
‘Yes, very good.’ Olivia drew a breath. Only yesterday she’d been saying to the Theatre staff how Anna’s husband was a hero in her book. Yep, and she’d had thoughts about the man next to her being a hero too.
‘You want me to get your car out of the basement? Save you some minutes?’
She stared at Zac. ‘I forgot. I need to order a taxi. My car’s in the hospital car park with a flat battery. I didn’t have time to phone a service man yesterday.’ She made to head for the concierge only to be stopped by Zac’s hand on her arm.
‘I’ll be waiting in my car out the front when you’re ready.’ He nudged her forward into the elevator. ‘It’ll only take a couple of minutes to get it.’
But I don’t want to sit in a car with you, breathing your smell, feeling your heat, wishing I could go away with you. ‘A taxi will be fine.’ She was talking to the closing doors, Zac already halfway across the lobby. She’d lost that round. There’d been determination in the set of his shoulders and the length of his quick strides taking him out of the hotel. He’d be ready for her the moment she emerged from the revolving door of the hotel.
Nice.
Leaning back against the wall, Olivia smiled despite her misgivings. She’d have to come up with a better word than ‘nice’. Zac was more than nice, and his gestures were kind and caring. All good, all sounding bland for a man who was anything but. ‘Hot’ used to be her word for him and, yes, he was still that.
But now? Now he was a mixed bag of emotions and characteristics she hadn’t taken the time to notice before. This Zac was intriguing. She wanted to know more about him. Hell, she wanted to know everything.
As the elevator pinged at her floor she knew she had to walk away from him, because the more she learned about Zac the harder it became to remain aloof. Her emotions were getting involved, putting her heart in turmoil, and that was a no-go zone.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘I AM SO SORRY.’ Anna Seddon sniffed, and snatched up a handful of tissues to blow her nose. ‘I know it’s your weekend off. Hugo shouldn’t have called you.’
Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and shook her head at her patient. ‘It’s not a problem. I’d have been annoyed if he hadn’t. What started this off? What’s distressed you this morning?’
‘I took a look under the gown and saw where my breasts used to be. It’s horrible there. The new ones don’t look right even wrapped in bandages. I know you said to wait, but I had to see.’ Anna slashed at fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. ‘Nothing looks normal. The implants are different, ugly, not me, and the scars are bright red. I shouldn’t have done this. I should’ve taken a chance I wouldn’t get cancer.’
Olivia waited until Anna ran out of steam, then took her hand. ‘You’ve had a shock. No amount of explaining could’ve prepared you.’ Which was why she asked patients to wait until she was there before they looked at the results of their surgery. ‘Remember, I said that your breast implants were going to look and feel strange. They’re not natural, like your real breasts were, and we have yet to bring them up to full size. This will take time as we can’t pump them full of saline instantly. It’s a gradual process, giving your skin time to stretch and accommodate the implants.’
‘You told me that, but I saw them and freaked out,’ Anna whispered. ‘You must think I’m a total head case.’
‘Not at all. You’ve just had your breasts removed when as far as we know there’s nothing wrong with them. You’re not dealing with the fear of knowing you’ve already got cancer. Instead, breast cancer is a real possibility for you, so you’re working ahead of things. Of course it’s a shock and very different from other situations.’
‘I know you went over this more than once. I thought I understood how I’d feel, and that the fact I was doing it to be there for my kids and Duncan would override every other emotion. I was wrong.’ At the mention of her husband tears began pouring down her face again.
‘You’re a woman, first and foremost. Our breasts help define us. When we’re young we can’t wait for them to start growing and then it’s what size will they be? Will they be sexy? They’re also about nurturing our babies. You’ve done something very brave. Don’t ever think you’re not as feminine as you were before yesterday because you are. You’ve got a lovely figure, a pretty face and a heart of gold. Not to mention a family who adores you. Especially that husband of yours.’
A shadow of a smile lightened Anna’s mouth through the deluge of tears. ‘Duncan’s something, isn’t he?’
‘He’s a hero.’ There, she’d said it again. What was it with her that she kept coming up with that word? It wasn’t as though she believed in heroes. But you want to. You want one of your own.
‘You think?’ Anna asked, a twinkle slowly lightening her sad eyes and easing her tears.
‘I know.’ She stood up. ‘In fact, there’s a hero out in the waiting room. I’ll go tell him you’re busting to see him.’
‘What will he say when he sees my false breasts?’
There was a hitch in Anna’s voice and fear in her eyes.
‘I bet he tells you he loves you.’ Lucky woman. What was it like to have a man to love you, to say those precious three words to you? Olivia had never known and wondered if she ever would. It must be the most precious thing—love, unconditional and everlasting. When she walked into the waiting room she found Zac talking rugby to Anna Seddon’s husband as though he’d known him for ever.
Her heart did a funny little jig. Zac. Sexy Zac was doing nothing more than yakking to a stranger who was trying to cope with his wife’s unenviable situation, and yet he looked…like everything she’d thought she might want in a man, in her man. Her hero.
Get out of here. Where had that come from? Yeah, sure, yesterday when she’d called Duncan a hero it had been Zac’s face flitting across her mind, but Zac? Hero? Why would she even think that? What had he done for her to think so?
She’d dumped him and he’d sent her beautiful flowers.
He’d driven her here this morning and taken her keys to get her car battery sorted.
He’d turned up to help yesterday afternoon when everything had been turning to custard.
He’d never once been rude to her, or made fun of her need to keep herself to herself, or told her to stop being so much in control of just about everything she touched.
Did any or all of those things make a man a hero? Didn’t heroes slay dragons? She still had dragons, but Zac didn’t know about them because she’d never shown that weakness to him. It wasn’t as though he could make everything right for her, even if he was aware of her screwed-up family life.
‘CC, you’re daydreaming.’ Zac was smiling at her, his head at an angle that suggested he wanted to know exactly what was on her mind.
Thank goodness she wasn’t the type to blush. The absolute last thing Zac needed to know was what she’d been thinking. ‘I don’t daydream.’
‘Then you’re missing out on a lot of fun.’
‘How’s Anna?’ There was a load of worry in Duncan’s short question.
‘Wanting to see her man.’ Olivia moved closer. ‘She’s got past that little meltdown but, Duncan, you need to be prepared for more episodes. I’m not saying Anna’s going to fall apart on you long term, but she’s facing reality now, whereas before surgery it was still an unknown. It’s scary for her.’ She continued, ‘She’s afraid you won’t be able to cope when you see her breasts. It’s natural to feel that way, but it’s how you handle the situation that’s going to make the difference.’
