by Sue MacKay
Salty lips covered his, and her tongue exploded into his mouth. Her hands gripped his head, holding him to her. This was no soft, sweet kiss. This was CC giving her all. This was what he needed. His hands were on her butt, lifting her higher up his body, across his reaction to her. Without breaking the kiss, she wound her legs around his waist and hovered over his throbbing need.
Twisting his mouth away from those lips, he croaked, ‘No sex, babe.’
‘Stupid rule. I’m breaking it.’ Low and sexy laughter highlighted her intent.
Relief nearly dumped him underwater. Words dried in his mouth. So he went back to kissing while trying to hold Olivia and shove his boxers down his thighs all at once.
Suddenly a small hand pressed between them, her fingers splayed on his chest. ‘Wait.’
‘Wait?’ His voice was hoarse with longing. If she’d changed her mind he’d lose his permanently.
‘That massive bed. The bure. The Fijian experience. I want that.’
This time relief had Zac sinking into the water, taking Olivia with him, so that she sat over his point of desire. ‘Since when have we been one-act-per-night types?’
Her answer was to slide over him, taking him deep within her, her head tipped back, her body quivering as she came fast. Four nights of restraining himself exploded in one deep thrust into her heat.
*
Dragging themselves up the beach, they scooped up their clothes and, holding hands, raced to the bure. Except I’m not running. Olivia grinned. I’m skipping. I am over the moon with happiness. ‘What a goddamned waste. Four nights and we didn’t do it. Are we idiots or what?’
Zac swung their hands high. ‘There are plenty of words out there we could use, but I’d rather concentrate on getting you to beg me to make love to you in that bed we’ve been pretending we haven’t shared.’
‘Good answer.’ Her shoes and dress slipped out of her hand at the doors leading inside. ‘Let’s hit the shower first. I don’t usually season my sex with salt.’
‘The outside shower.’
‘Is there any other?’ A quick sluice off and she dried Zac as he fumbled with a towel to do the same with her. Impatient, she tossed the towels aside and grabbed his hand, pulled him into the main room and leapt into the bed, taking him with her so that they tumbled into a heap of arms and legs. Not that Zac had needed any persuasion. He was already showing interest in her, in the way only men could.
Goddamn. She grinned and shook herself. This had to be the most wonderful, magical, fabulous way to end their stay on the island. Maybe waiting those long, tension-filled nights had been the way to go, had added to the tension and wound up the orgasmic relief. ‘Zac,’ she whispered. ‘Long and slow.’ As she trailed kisses over his chest she continued, ‘We’ve got all night.’
‘Yeah, babe, not leaving until ten tomorrow.’
Some time after four in the morning, as the sun began to lighten the bure around the edges, Olivia snuggled her exhausted body against Zac’s and traced a line across his chest with a fingertip.
‘This is unlike other times for us.’
‘Yeah, you’re talking too much, for one thing.’
‘I feel different. I guess lying in bed together afterwards has something to do with that.’ In fact, she was shocked at how much she was enjoying lying here with Zac, knowing neither of them would shortly leap out of bed and head home, or to work, or anywhere. ‘This is taking it to a whole new level.’ As if there was a depth to making out with Zac she’d never known before. She should be scared. She wasn’t. Not right this moment, with Zac’s body wrapped around hers and her muscles feeling deliciously sated.
The hands that had been working their magic on her back stopped moving. ‘Regret not zapping that rule earlier?’
Locking gazes with him, her heart pounded at a ridiculous rate. He didn’t look unhappy about what she’d said, more cautious. ‘Not at all.’ Having fun doing other things together had added more to their relationship. ‘I have had the most amazing holiday with you.’ I want to have more of them.
‘Aw, shucks.’ He pulled the sheet up to their necks. ‘You say the nicest things. In case you’re wondering, I’ve had a wonderful time doing some great things with you too. Now let’s fall asleep in each other’s arms for the last few hours of our holiday.’
Yep, soon reality would return in the form of Auckland, work and her mother. And in thinking where to go with this new relationship with Zac. Her eyelids drooped shut. She would not think about that now. Not when his strong arms held her as though she was delicate. Not when she could breathe in the scent of their lovemaking and Zac’s aftershave. Not when… She drifted into a dream-laden sleep filled with images of the man sharing the bed.
*
Josaia and all his family were standing on the beach when Zac and Olivia turned up to board their float plane.
Olivia hugged Lauan. ‘I’m so glad we met you and your family.’
Lauan was crying openly and shaking her head. ‘No, it is us who are glad.’
‘We’ll be in touch very soon, I promise.’ Leaving these wonderful people wasn’t as easy as she’d expected. Zac nudged her out of the way to have his turn hugging Lauan. ‘We’ll schedule Josaia’s surgeries as soon as possible.’ He was repeating what they’d all discussed yesterday afternoon.
Donny stepped up and said, ‘Josaia has something for you both.’
‘Dr Zac, this is for you.’ The boy handed over a bright blue sulu with all the gravity of a ceremony for royalty.
Zac took the carefully folded cotton cloth that Fijian men traditionally wore tied around their waists at special times.
Josaia stepped in front of Olivia. ‘This is yours.’
She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around Josaia, a yellow sulu that could be wrapped around her body like a strapless dress in her hand. ‘Thank you so much. I’ll look after it, I promise.’
Once inside the plane Olivia leaned forward to wave goodbye. Suddenly the plane was racing and bumping across the sea and finally lifting into the sky.
She’d had the most amazing five days, and now she didn’t know what was ahead. Hope rose, hope for a future they could share. The hope backed off. She couldn’t make a full commitment to Zac. Her mother made sure of that. There just wasn’t enough of herself to go round. She wasn’t going to try to spread herself too thin. That’s how people got hurt.
Zac lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. ‘Stop overthinking things.’
Did he know what was going on in her mind? Of course not. He didn’t know the half of what went on in her life.
She gripped his hand and turned to stare outside, absorbing every last moment of Fiji.
*
Olivia shivered as she clambered out of the taxi outside her house. ‘Why does the weather have to be wet and cold tonight of all nights?’ she grumbled.
Zac only laughed. ‘Bringing us back to earth with a thump, isn’t it?’
Grabbing her case, she ran for the shelter of her covered veranda. That’s when she noticed lights on inside. Then the steady beat of music reached her. And her stomach dived. No. Not tonight. Not when I’m so happy.
‘You going to open that door?’ Zac asked.
Not while you’re here. She waved frantically at the taxi driver. He had to take Zac away. Now. Not after that coffee she’d suggested when they’d turned into her street. ‘Wait,’ she yelled.
‘Too late,’ Zac muttered. ‘You don’t want me coming in after all?’
‘I’ve got a headache.’
Zac dropped his case and reached for her. ‘That sudden? I’m picking it’s because there’s someone inside you don’t want me to meet.’ His hands were gentle on her upper arms, his thumbs rubbing back and forth in a coaxing manner. ‘I thought we were better than that, had moved on from the quick visits to something more real.’
So did I, until reality slapped me around the ears. She’d been an idiot to think there was a way around the problem on the other side of her front door
. ‘I’m sorry.’ She didn’t want his sympathy—or worse, was afraid of seeing a look of horror in his eyes when he saw how far gone her mother would be.
The sound of her front door being unlocked sent a wave of panic through her. ‘You have to go. Now.’
‘Olivia, darling, there you are. I’ve been wondering where you’d got to and when you’d be back. They wouldn’t tell me anything at the hospital.’
Olivia was a dab hand at interpreting the alcohol-laden slur. One glance at Zac and she knew he was also right up to speed on the situation. Anger—at her mother, at Zac for learning her truth—rolled up and spilled out. ‘Mum, what are you doing here? You know I don’t like you in my house when I’m away.’
A firm hand on her arm stopped her diatribe. ‘Olivia, it’s okay.’
‘No, it’s not. You don’t get it. This is my mother, Cindy Coates-Clark. Mum, meet Zachary Wright, a friend—’ No, damn it. ‘Zac and I have been in Fiji together. We have had a wonderful time and now we’d like to wind down from our flight home. Alone.’
‘Pleased to meet you, Zachary. Call me Cindy.’ A wave of alcohol fumes wafted between them all.
Her mother stepped back and held the door wide, as though it was her place to do so. ‘Do come in.’
‘Thank you, Cindy.’ Zac picked up the cases and nodded Olivia through in front of him. ‘I’ll leave mine just inside the door while we have that coffee.’
‘You still want it?’ When she locked her eyes with his, he nodded.
‘Yes.’ Like there was nothing out of the ordinary, being greeted by a scantily clad woman who was obviously plastered.
Heavy black smudges of mascara covered Cindy’s cheeks, and bright red lipstick had run into the lines around her mouth. Her low-cut top revealed way too much cleavage, and her skirt…
Olivia gulped as anger and disappointment again boiled over. ‘Mum, that was a new suit. I haven’t even worn it.’ And never would now that three-quarters of the skirt had been hacked off. She’d been thrilled when she’d found the emerald-coloured outfit at her favourite shop.
‘It’s far sexier now. You can be so old-fashioned with your clothes, darling.’
‘I wonder why.’ From the day she’d turned thirteen her mother had spent a fortune on buying her clothes that had made her feel uncomfortable even around the cat, let alone the kids she’d hung out with. Humiliating didn’t begin to describe it.
Now Zac was seeing things she never wanted him to know about. ‘Zac, about that coffee…’
‘I’ll make it, shall I?’ He hid his disgust very well. ‘Would you like a coffee, Cindy?’
‘Coffee? I don’t think so. Why don’t you two join me with a gin? Zac, I know you’d like one. You’re a real man. Not like—’
‘Mum, stop it. Now. We are not having gin.’ She stepped into the kitchen and crumpled. Welcome home, Olivia. Welcome back to life as you really know it. Empty bottles lay everywhere. Half-full takeout food containers covered the bench, dirty cutlery and glasses filled the spaces. ‘How long have you been here?’
‘I don’t know. Days?’ Mum sounded confused all of a sudden.
Strong arms wound around Olivia, held her from dropping in a heap. ‘Hey, we’ll get it sorted.’ Zac’s low voice was full of compassion and wove around her like the comfort blanket she’d taken everywhere with her as a toddler. ‘You’re not alone, okay?’
Yes, she was. Her mother was her problem. This had nothing to do with Zac, and never would. Despite the warmth that stole through her at his words. She stayed in the circle of his arms—just for one more minute. Her chin rested on his chest. One minute, then she’d toughen up and face the consequences of having gone away without telling her mother where she was.
Finally she stepped away, put space between her and Zac. ‘You have to go.’
Frustration deepened his voice. ‘No, Olivia, I don’t. I’m with you, at your side, looking out for you.’
On her phone she found the taxi company number and stabbed the button. Forcing a toughness she didn’t feel on her face, she snapped, ‘I’m not asking, I’m telling you to go.’ Someone from the taxi company answered and she rattled off directions, ended the call. ‘They’ll be five minutes.’
He gave no further argument, just kissed her softly. ‘Good night, sweetheart. Talk to you in the morning.’
‘No, Zac. Don’t. It’s over. We’re done. Permanently.’ It was the only way forward for her.
But when the front door had closed behind him Olivia leaned against the hall wall and felt her heart crack into pieces. It had taken this for her to realise her hope for the future with Zac was actually love for Zac. She wanted to be with him, to give him so much, to share a life. To openly show him her love. To try to be the woman she hadn’t thought she could be. But that mess in her kitchen told her otherwise. Dreams were fairytales.
Sliding down the wall, she wrapped her arms around her legs, dropped her head on her knees, and let the tears come. She hadn’t cried over her mother for so long but there was no stopping the torrent. For a brief time she’d let hope into her heart, had wanted more with Zac. How dumb could she get? This had always been going to happen. Therefore, the sooner the better. Now she could move on, without Zac, and do what she’d always done—survive and look out for her mother.
*
Zac stared at Olivia’s house until the taxi turned the corner at the end of the street. His throat was dry, his heartbeat slow and his gut knotted tight. What a difference twenty-four hours made. From sexy and fun in that red dress to heartbroken at home, it was like Olivia had flipped from one person to another.
Now he understood so much. The control she constantly maintained over herself and everything around her was a coping mechanism.
There’d be no controlling her mother.
Olivia didn’t want to be like her mother.
The glimpse of worry when he’d said that dress was so different from what he was used to seeing her in now made sense.
‘Well, hello, you’re nothing like your mum.’ Despite having spent only a few minutes with Cindy and not knowing anything about her, he knew Olivia was the polar opposite from her mother.
But you didn’t have to kick me out like I mean nothing to you.
When Olivia had mentioned her mother was an alcoholic he’d had no idea what that meant in real terms. Drunk and disorderly didn’t cover it. Cindy whined like a spoilt brat, created chaos. She’d helped herself to her daughter’s clothes, ruining them in the process. Helped herself to the house, the contents of the kitchen, and trashed it as only belligerent teenagers did. What had that woman done to Olivia’s life? Her sense of belonging, her future?
The resignation in CC’s eyes had hit him hard. She was responsible for that woman, and he knew all about responsibility. He’d learned it the hard way. Hopefully Olivia hadn’t, but deep down he knew this situation went a long way to explaining why she ran solo.
You don’t have to be alone any more.
Olivia wasn’t made for that. She was loving, caring, sharing, and a whole load more.
The taxi pulled up in Quay Street. His apartment building loomed above, dark and unwelcoming. He’d rather be back at Olivia’s house, no matter the mess inside. He wasn’t thinking about the state of the kitchen.
But you sent me away, Olivia. Again.
As Zac rode the elevator to his floor a slow burn began in his belly. He’d been shoved out of Olivia’s life for a second time. She hadn’t given him a chance to stay, to talk about it, to do any damned thing except get out of her life. What had their holiday been about if not learning more about each other and getting closer?
Learning that I love you, Olivia. Do you know that? Do you know I’ve broken all my rules for you? That for the first time ever I’m seeing a future that’s got people in it—you and our children.
The doors slid apart but Zac didn’t move. The itch had gone.
The doors began closing. Sticking his foot in the gap so they opened again, Zac hois
ted his bag and dragged his feet towards his apartment. He’d pour a whisky and try to fathom where to go from here.
How damned typical that when he’d finally fallen in love he wasn’t wanted.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘DON’T HANG UP, OLIVIA.’ Zac didn’t give her time to say hello. ‘This is about Josaia.’
‘I’m listening.’ Olivia could listen to him all day, but of course she’d spent the last ten days doing her damnedest to push him away, out of her head, her heart. She missed him so much it was unbelievable. It was like her heart and mind were stuck in Fiji mode with Zac, talking and laughing, while her real life was grinding along without any joy.
‘Theatre’s booked at the private hospital for Saturday morning. I’ve managed to inveigle a free bed for four nights so we’re set to go.’ Zac sounded upbeat and pleased with himself. As he should be. He’d been hassling everyone he knew to get Josaia’s surgery organised. All the staff assisting were doing it gratis. No surprise there. When Zac wanted to he could charm the grumpiest of old men into putting his hand in his pocket and handing over his life savings.
‘You should start a charity organisation for kids like Josaia,’ Olivia acknowledged.
‘I should? You’re the one who knows how to pull at people’s heartstrings. Look at how successful Andy’s gala night turned out to be.’
Had she pulled Zac’s heartstrings? Ever? Even a teeny-weeny bit? Why was she wondering when a yes only added to her grief? Staying away from him was hard enough already. She only talked to him about Josaia’s upcoming surgery, cutting him off the moment he started on about anything personal. ‘I’ll see you at the motel at five.’ They’d decided between themselves to pay for a motel unit for the family close to the hospital. Zac was picking up Josaia and his family from the airport later in the day. Tomorrow they had a free day, and then it would be D-day.
‘You could come with me.’
‘I’ve got a clinic starting at two.’
Zac sighed, his upbeat mood gone. ‘Promise me you’ll be at the motel. It’s important for Josaia.’
She didn’t make promises. Her word was usually enough. ‘I promise.’ I do?
