I looked at my own drink, unsure what to say but knowing that he was absolutely right in his assessment of my less than perfect life. “I’m not.” I said. “Well, not really – I mean, it’s not that bad...”
He frowned, “Shouldn’t it still be all hearts and flowers this early in, though?” he asked, “I mean – it’s not even a year yet is it?”
I rolled my eyes, “I don’t think it was ever all hearts and flowers. She got pregnant, so we got married.” His eyes widened with surprise. “Well, she said she was.” I amended, “But as it turned out, it was a false alarm – but by then we were already married.” I shook my head and sighed. When I said it all out loud, it sounded so goddamn lame. Horatio was staring at me with a look of shock on his face and I couldn’t really blame him – it really was like something out of the 1960’s. I felt the need to explain, “She’s from a strictly religious family and she didn’t want to be a mother before she was married. They thought we weren’t...” I trailed off. It all sounded so ridiculous now and I wondered how I could have been so easily manipulated – for chrissakes, we weren’t teenagers – and how could my parents have been so easily swept up in it? Maybe I’d have to go and ask them someday...
“So, she tricked you?” he asked, frowning.
I shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t think so...” I’d wondered myself so many times. Dad had a good job and was very well off – even if he had pretty much abandoned us as kids... Maybe she thought I was a rich man – or at least a good prospect. But I was neither. I wasn’t rich. And I wasn’t straight. I was absolutely useless to her.
But I wasn’t useless to Horatio. He didn’t give a shit about how much money I had or didn’t have – and being straight was the last thing he’d want me to be...
We fell into silence until Horatio looked up at me, “Well, I guess I should get you home.”
I smiled and raised my eyebrows, “Your house or mine?” I teased.
He shook his head, “You’re gonna get me into so much trouble.” He said with a chuckle, “I don’t feel right coming back your house with your wife away – but you can come back to mine if you like.”
I swallowed. This was heading into dangerous territory. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea either.” I hedged.
He raised an eyebrow, “Why?” he asked.
“I think you know why.” I said quietly, “And I think it would be better for me to go home before I make a complete and utter prat of myself by having too much to drink and to try to start something with you – it would be wrong on too many levels. I’m married for starters.”
Horatio sighed, “Believe me, you wouldn’t be making a fool of yourself.” He said softly, “You’re lovely, Danny. I wish...” He trailed off and I was pretty sure I knew why. No good could come from him finishing that sentence.
“You wish that things were different?” I asked.
He nodded, “But they’re not.” He sighed heavily, “I’ll take you home. Come on.”
He stood up and shrugged his jacket on.
I picked mine up and drained my glass, “I like this place.” I said, “We’ll have to come here again.”
Horatio grinned, “I’m sure we will.” He said, making my heart swell with hope. I really hoped this wasn’t a one-off.
Chapter 11 – Just hanging out…
Horatio
I shouldered the door of Karl’s parents’ cellar door and jogged down the stairs, “Noah?” I called out, “You down here, bud?”
I heard his muffled reply and smiled to myself with relief. Out of all my band mates, Noah was kind of my sounding board, my voice of reason when my own went AWOL.
“How was your date?” he asked slyly as soon as we were face to face.
I felt my face heating up. Thankfully, due to my dark skin, people could rarely tell when I was blushing. “It wasn’t a date, you dick.” I shot back at him, “I was just hanging out with a mate.”
He chuckled, “Yeah, yeah.” He said, “You keep telling yourself that, mate – he was totally into you. Fuck! We were watching your dance moves. I swear he’d have eaten you alive if he could have.”
The idea of him putting his mouth around a certain part of my body had me feeling a little on the flustered side. “Fuck off.” I muttered, “He did not.”
Noah just gave me one of his looks but he didn’t say anything else.
We sat in silence for a moment. I knew Noah was waiting for me to say something and I was dying to talk to him about Danny – I trusted Noah. I trusted him to tell me his honest opinion, I trusted him not to judge me – and to keep everything I said to him between the two of us. Noah was an honourable guy that way. Something that was pretty rare. Not that the rest of the guys were ratbags or anything but I wasn’t sure they’d not discuss me behind my back.
I let out a long sigh, “It’s just that I really like him, man – and I know it’s completely stupid of me to feel this way when he’s already married but I can’t help it.” And I know that he isn’t happy and that makes it even worse because I can see that he doesn’t want to be a cheat but I’m sure he likes me that way, too...
Noah hesitated, biting his lip but I knew he’d eventually ask and I wasn’t wrong. “Do you think he really likes you – that way I mean?” he finally asked.
I shrugged. The answer was yes, I really did but I didn’t want to jinx things for us. “I don’t know... I think he could... I’m not sure...” Yes, I was going to pieces over the whole thing but I had to talk to someone about this before I went insane.... “Oh, God, Noah – what am I going to do? I nearly asked him to stay the night at my place last night.”
He stared at me, “Are you serious?”
Well of course I was bloody serious. “Yes.” I ground out, “Deadly serious.”
“Wow.” He said, “I’ve gotta say, man – I’ve never seen you like this before.”
I scowled at him. “Well, maybe I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” I said defensively.
His eyes about popped out of his head, “What?” he asked. “You think you love this guy?”
Fuck. Was that really what I was saying? It dawned on me that actually, that was exactly what I was feeling for him and it was fucking terrifying me. I nodded, “Yeah, dude.” I said, “I think I really do.”
He sat down on the well-worn sofa and stared up at me, “But you’ve only just met...”
I nodded, “I know.” I said, running my hand over my short hair, “I know that – I know it sounds like absolute madness. But as soon as I first laid eyes on him... somehow I just knew...”
Noah shook his head, “And he’s married.” He said with a bit of a groan, “Of all the bad fucking luck.”
I nodded, “Yeah.” I agreed, “I know.” It was excruciating.
“Invite him round for dinner.” Noah said, “Get to know him.”
“What about the wife?” I asked.
He shrugged, “He’s got no business having a wife when he dances like that with a guy.” He said, “Trust me – he’s not straight and he should let the poor girl go.”
The ‘poor girl’ should be letting him go in my opinion but I wasn’t about the air his dirty laundry to Noah... “Okay.” I said, “I’ll call him and ask him over.”
“But on the other hand – don’t go for it with all your guns blazing.”
I sighed. Fuck me. Make your fucking mind up!
Noah shot me an apologetic grin, “I just think you should tread carefully – we might be misreading the situation. He might just be tactile and he might just really love dancing sexily.”
I felt my heart sink down to my Dr Marten’s “You think so?” I asked.
He shot me another grin, but this one was a dirty one. “No, not really,” he said, “But I’m trying to be your voice of reason. I’m guessing yours has left you high and dry.”
I grinned back at him bashfully, “Yeah,” I agreed, “Think it has.”
There was no way that Danny was straight. He might be bise
xual but straight he was not. There was no way. I didn’t imagine that near miss kiss – and I didn’t imagine the hardness of his dick pressing into my arse as we danced together. Danny was into me – he just wasn’t aware of it – or if he was, he was ignoring it – and I was about to start prodding that protective little bubble he’d conjured up around himself because we belonged together. I just knew it.
*
“Danny?”
He sounded surprised and pleased that I’d called him, “Hi, Rayshe.”
I smiled at the nickname. The guys all called me Rayshe but it was the first time I’d noticed that Danny had used the shortened version of my name – and it sounded lovely from his lips. “I was uh, wondering what you were doing for dinner tonight.”
“Oh,” he faltered, “Uh, nothing really...”
“Great – me either.” My heart was in my mouth but I had to make it sound cool. “So, I was uh, wondering if you remembered the way to my flat?” I didn’t let him answer before I jumped straight back in, “I’ll meet you there at around six?” I held my breath. Would he go for it or turn me down flat?
Noah was sitting still. Clearly, he was waiting for the outcome too. Nosey bastard...
“That sounds great.” He said.
Letting my breath go all at once with relief I grinned, “Great!” I exclaimed and turned to look at Noah who was sat there with a beaming smile and giving me the thumbs up sign. “Oh, and Danny – if I’m held up a little, the spare key’s under the black, shiny vase on the windowsill at eye level.”
I ended the call and high-fived Noah, feeling on top of the world.
Chapter 12 – Making dinner…
Danny
“So now what?” I muttered to myself as I looked around Horatio’s flat and wondered what the hell I was supposed to be doing. I shouldn’t really be doing this at all. I shouldn’t have agreed to this. I shouldn’t know where he kept his spare key – it was none of my business. I shouldn’t be doing this – messing with his head and making him think we could have a future together. I was married.
And yet I knew he was attracted to me – just like I was attracted to him and it gave me hope even while my voice of reason was screaming at me that this couldn’t end well. This – what I was doing right now – was a definite step towards the dark side. I knew that and yet I really didn’t want to stop what I was doing. I knew I was falling for him. I knew I no longer had any affection left for Mara. All I’d felt for months, since getting married and then finding out that she’d lost the baby – if indeed that was what had happened – was fear of upsetting her. Fear of her getting angry with me for saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing... fear of the pain she was so ready to inflict upon me, whether it be mental or physical.
Figuring that Rayshe would be hungry when he got in, I had a poke around in his fridge for something to throw together. I brightened as I noticed he had some bacon that wasn’t out of date and was that cream? Cool. It wouldn’t be a true Carbonara because I wasn’t anything like a cool would-be chef like his bezzie, Noah. But I could just about throw together something that at least resembled a delicious creamy pasta dish and it wouldn’t taste half-bad either.
Ooh, he even had mushrooms. That was so cool… I looked in his cupboard and found pasta twists – they’d do.
Checking the time, I smiled to myself. I could open the bottle of wine and let it breathe – by the time he got home, his dinner would be waiting and I could hand him a glass... I was the best husband...
*
I started to get nervous the closer the time got to when he said he’d meet me at his house.
When I heard his key in the door, my heart was in my mouth.
I turned away from the table that I’d set for the two of us. My eyes met his and I felt so exposed. So unsure of myself and so damned stupid for thinking we could do this. Who the fuck did I think I was, cooking for him?
“I’m sorry.” I gasped.
He frowned at me, “What for?” He asked as he eyed the table. His eyes widened and his face broke into a truly beautiful grin, “Hey, this looks fantastic.”
I relaxed immediately, “Really? It’s not too much?”
He smiled at me, his eyes warm and soft as he gazed at me as if I was the best guy on the planet. “It’s not too much.” He said, “It’s perfect – just like you are.”
I found myself blushing, “Wow.” I whispered.
He crossed the distance between us in a flash and gathered me into his big, warm hug. “Thanks, Danny.” He murmured, brushing his lips across my cheek, “This is amazing. Dinner smells great – what are we having?”
I pulled away reluctantly. Hell, I could have stayed right there, in his arms, all night long, “Oh, well, it’s kind of a Carbonara but it’s not technically cooked properly.”
He chuckled, “I don’t care,” he said, “If you weren’t here it would either be toast, a jacket potato with tuna and mayo or it’d be a takeaway – my name’s not Noah.”
I smiled. I knew Noah was a trainee chef at a bistro pub that was owned by the TV chef, Darren Duvall. Well, that was one of his part-time ventures anyway – he was also doing an engineering degree, like Horatio – and he helped his father run an auto-repair centre in the town – and still found time to play the drums in the band. I wondered if he was a vampire – because honestly, when did the guy find time to sleep? “Well, it’s about ready – so, here’s a glass of Malbec – make yourself comfortable.”
As Horatio laughed and sat at the table with his glass of wine, chatting about everything he’d been doing all day while I got his dinner ready, I was struck by how different it was to be with him than with Mara and her relentless nit-picking at everything I did wrong on a pretty much constant basis. This was so much better. I really didn’t want to go home... Not ever.
Chapter 13 – Perfect…
Horatio
My heart almost beat right out of my chest when I got home and realised that Danny was already there, waiting for me – and he’d cooked!
He couldn’t have been any more perfect. Well, he could have been single – that was a pretty big thing that wasn’t perfect but you know, I lived in hope that he’d see the light sooner rather than later...
I’d never spent so much time lusting after a guy that I could never have and it was scary. I’d honestly fallen in love and I had absolutely no idea how to change my feelings back into us just being friends.
The sad fact was that I was in love with my (almost) straight best friend. How pathetic. It was rule number one... Never fall for the straight guy.
Well, since I’d already fallen at the first hurdle, I might as well make a total prick of myself so I ploughed right on in and gave him a hug for making dinner. Jesus, I was such a loser.
Dinner was absolutely delicious. Danny was far too modest about his cooking skills – they were a million times better than mine and I told him so too.
He just laughed it off.
I insisted that I did the washing up, but we ended up doing it between us.
“Go and find something for us to watch and I’ll be in in a minute.” I said as I gathered the plates together.
“Don’t be daft.” Danny said, “I’ll help you.”
I blinked, “Okay – you can dry then.”
He nodded, “Sure.”
Once we’d finished with the chores, we headed into the lounge. We chatted about everything and anything. Well, we didn’t do a whole lot of chatting about his wife but to be honest, I was kind of pleased about that. It was easier to live with the fact that I was falling in love with a married man if I pretended that she didn’t exist.
Because, seriously. Danny couldn’t possibly be straight after the way he’d danced with me at Studs the other night... Could he?
“I’ve got tickets to a concert tomorrow night – are you free or is your wife back?” His face fell which told me instantly that she was back tomorrow night. Before he could answer I was already backtracking, “Forget it
,” I said, “It was just an idea.”
He grabbed my hand in his, “I would love to go with you.” He said, “Hell, I’d love to go anywhere with you. In fact, I’d like to just stay here with you – forever. But I can’t – she’ll be back on Monday and I really have to clean the house properly...”
You can stay with me forever. My mind screamed at him. Leave her! Save yourself from a lifetime of misery and drudgery and be mine instead – I can make you happier than you could ever imagine…
Of course I didn’t say it out loud and he couldn’t read my mind. I sighed, “Okay. It’s no problem. I’m not trying to push you – on anything.”
He smiled, “I know.” He said. He got up, “I’d better go.”
I bit my lip, “You could stay over if you like. I have a spare room.”
He looked at me. He was torn. I could tell. In the end his loyalty to his marriage won out and he shook his head, “I’d better get home.”
I nodded, disappointment flooding through me. “I’ll see you at five-a-side.” I said.
He stopped at the door and turned to me, “I had a great evening – I’m sorry it can’t be more.”
I nodded, “It’s okay, Danny.” I said, “I understand.”
He leaned in hesitantly. Did he want to kiss me?
Fuck. I wasn’t noble enough to try to stop it from happening. I looked into his eyes.
He stared back into mine and leaned even closer. As if in slow-motion our lips met and I swear the world stood still.
Fireworks exploded in my brain and I honestly couldn’t stop myself from reaching for him and gathering him closer.
The door was open and absolutely anyone walking by could have seen us together but in that moment, I couldn’t have cared less because Danny’s lips were on mine and he was finally kissing me – and kissing me like his life depended on it. Wow. How his wife could be unresponsive to him was completely impossible to me. His lips were warm and soft and delicious.
When Danny Met Horatio Page 5
