Barney had run to her with blind abandon and Jenny had hugged him tight, her kisses lost in his hair. They’d stood like that for a while, eyes closed, taking in each other’s smell. And in that moment I saw it. She loved him, truly, and he loved her. After helping him into the back seat, she gave me a quick nod of gratitude and then they were gone.
‘I’ve obviously not been allowed any further access to the case,’ said Martin, his cheeks pinking at the allusion to his ongoing suspension. ‘You’ll be assigned a new family liaison officer soon but, until then, I wanted to make sure you know that, despite the disappointments of this year, I’ve got it on good authority the team are still one hundred per cent committed to the investigation.’
I squeezed Jason’s hand and kept my face fixed firm. The last three nights I’d woken at dawn to discover him on the old nursing chair next to our bedroom window, his face bathed in the blue glow from the laptop. He was scouring missing persons forums. Then, this morning, I’d found him sat cross-legged on the living room floor with Barney’s fire engine. I’d watched as he repeatedly extended and retracted the ladder attached to the vehicle’s roof. Each time he’d let the ladder collapse back into its metal casing, it had made a loud aluminium crash and each time I’d felt my heart catch in my throat.
But life is a series of trade-offs, of choices considered and choices made.
I have made my choice.
The detective fiddled with the cuff of his shirt, pushing his watch under and then over it.
‘Actually, Jason,’ he said, his voice now swollen with emotion. ‘That was the main reason I wanted to come and talk to you. I wanted to promise in person that they won’t stop looking.’ His eyes were wide and unblinking. ‘I swear to you, as long as I’m still living and breathing, Barney’s case will be kept open.’ He held his hand to his heart. ‘I wanted to tell you, they won’t ever give up searching for your boy. I wanted to promise you that.’
Acknowledgements
This book’s journey to publication has been long and complicated and certain people along the way have helped and supported me immeasurably.
Nicola Barr. Finding the right agent is like finding the right husband. You need someone who gets you totally, who always tells you the truth, who is tough when they need to be and who believes in you no matter what the rest of the world may say. Nicola is in my corner. For that I am and always will be grateful.
Kate Rizzo and the team at Greene & Heaton.
Joel Richardson. I like clever people and Joel is really, really clever. He makes me a better writer. I’m lucky to have him as my editor.
Kate Parkin and the team at Twenty7.
Emily Burns and Carmen Jimenez. Publicists extraordinaire.
Detective Inspector Steve Roche. For lending me his expertise and for reality-checking my various early drafts.
Chris Sussman, who is as smart and brilliant as he is kind. Chris was one of the first people I told I wanted to be a writer. His friendship and critical feedback helped me become that writer.
Tom McDonald. I mentioned I like clever people. Tom is next-level clever. Not only does he continue to give me early gold-dust-like editorial feedback but he was also pivotal in helping me get this book out into the world. Thank you for stepping in at just the right moment and for telling me to give myself a fair fight.
Naomi Kelt and Sam Gardiner. For your first readings, friendship and unfailing support.
Team Twenty7. The most unexpected and wonderful part of being published by my imprint are the other debut writers. I now have this whole new set of friends. They make me laugh almost every day (reader, we have a secret twitter group) and whenever I have a question or a crisis they are the literary equivalent of calling 999. Team Twenty7 you are a sheer bloody delight.
Louise Doughty and The Faber Academy.
Kate Norbury, for her rigorous editorial eye and careful, intuitive notes.
CPL Productions. Barry, Charlie, Luke, Quincy, Amanda, Arabella, Danielle, Murray, Janet, Heather, Alex, Charles and Jess. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful home these last three years. I basically get to go to work every day and hang out with my friends.
Daisy Goodwin. For her generosity in everything.
My English teachers: David Litchfield, Les Robinson and Ray Honeybourne. My Director of Studies at Newnham, Jean Gooder. For fundamentally changing the course of my life.
Barbara Johnson, my mother. Who, against all odds, raised me so well. She’s also a top-notch first reader and stepped in whenever I needed help brainstorming a tricky plot point or character.
Danny O’Connor, my brother. For being there with me every step of the way and for the best pep talk emails known to man.
But most of all thank you to my husband and best friend, Alan Wray. For the time, for the absolute belief.
Reading Group Questions
Heidi states that, ‘What happened to my daughter now defines who I am.’ Is this true? Does a single event have the power to shape and define a person?
Why is Heidi attracted to Tommy? What does he seem able to give her that Jason cannot?
When Heidi suggests that Jason may no longer be able to recognise his son, Jason tells her a story about when the midwife first handed him Barney. He describes a primal, unbreakable bond with his newborn son. What does this book have to say about the parent-child connection?
Heidi was overweight for most of her adult life, until Lauren went missing. She compares losing the weight to losing control – what do you think she means by this?
When Heidi and Jason first meet they discover they have lots in common, especially the fact that they now feel ‘their dreams had the power to sustain and frighten them.’ What do you think this means?
Does Heidi want Jason to be reunited with his son? How do her feelings change throughout the novel?
Heidi believes that the reason the media were so quick to blame Vicky for Barney’s disappearance was because they (and the general public) can’t cope with the idea that a child can be randomly stolen. How much do you think this is true of the world we live in today?
At the end of the novel, Heidi realises that Jason has survived the last five years by clinging onto an ‘idea of parenthood’ – which idea is she referring to?
Heidi does something extraordinary at the end of the book. Why do you think she does this? Is there ever an instance where it is right to do the ‘wrong’ thing?
Why do you think Heidi chooses to stay with Jason?
Join the conversation online
#MyHusbandsSon @BonnierZaffre @deboc77
About the Author
Deborah O’Connor read English at Newnham College, Cambridge, before going on to become a television producer. Born and bred in the North-East of England, she now lives in East London with her husband and daughter.
First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Twenty7 Books
Twenty7 Books
80-81 Wimpole St, London W1G 9RE
www.twenty7books.co.uk
Copyright © Deborah O’Connor, 2016
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
The right of Deborah O’Connor to be identified as Author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-7857-6193-5
This book is typeset using Atomik ePublisher
Twenty7 Books is an imprint of Bonnier Zaffre,
a Bonnier Publishing company
www.bonnierzaffre.co.uk
&nbs
p; www.bonnierpublishing.co.uk
My Husband's Son: A dark and gripping psychological thriller Page 28
