by Erin Hayes
“And unethical would be not following through with your feelings,” Dawn continues.
I rub my temples. “I don’t know what they are.”
“So just go to this date tonight, have a great time, and what happens, happens. You know what?” Dawn sounds inspired now, which is usually a bad thing. “What’s to keep you from dating all three? Hell, you know what would be unethical? Not getting a chance to sleep with these three to figure out which one you’d like. Because it sounds like something’s there.”
“Ugh, don’t tell me that, Dawn.”
She laughs. “And who’s to say you can’t just keep dating the three of them?”
“Monogamy,” I reply simply. “Society.”
“Puh-lease, Grace. You deal with the human psyche every day, you should know that we’re not monogamous animals.”
The heat flushes my cheeks. Because she’s right. How many people have come into my office and talked about their wandering thoughts? Their fading feelings for their partners? Or their fear of duplicity, just because society says that there can only be two in a relationship?
“You have a big enough heart for three men,” Dawn pushes. “Maybe you’ll have three different happy endings.”
“But only one ring finger.”
“What does that have to do with anything? We’re not talking about marriage, we’re talking about having fun. Hell, maybe these guys are up for sharing you. You’re worth it.”
I blink in surprise. I hadn’t considered that they might be up for a polyamorous…thing. And while I don’t feel worthy right now, I have a warm, fuzzy feeling blossoming in my chest at her words.
“And right now,” Dawn says, bringing me back to the conversation, “you have a date to go to where you need to get gussied up and go out and have a great time with this guy.”
I consider her words for a moment, trying to get past my initial feeling of being unworthy and filthy for having these thoughts. “I hate when you make sense.”
She laughs. “That’s why you have me for your best friend.”
I look at my skater dress again, and think about how sexy I’ll feel in it. How much I need to have a good night.
“All right,” I say with finality. “Let’s just see how tonight goes.”
I decide that the skater dress is a good thing. It shows off my legs without being too short, and the lacy top hints at sexy without being gratuitous or daring. Just the right amount of femininity and beauty.
And I can tell that Ned loves it.
His jaw is agape as I meet him outside my apartment building, watching every move I make as I lock the door and come down the front steps. I flash him a winning smile, hoping that my lipstick hasn’t smudged on my teeth to ruin such a perfect moment.
“You look beautiful,” he says, wonder in his voice as he opens the passenger door to his Tesla.
“Thank you,” I whisper, suddenly shy. “You look handsome yourself.”
And he totally does. His blond hair is coifed, and he’s clean-shaven. Intelligence sparkles in his icy blue eyes as he winks at me and shuts the door before heading over to the driver’s side. Shit, a wink like that could totally undo a lot of women.
It undoes me.
When I saw him standing outside his car, I couldn’t believe that such a man exists. It gives me enough respite from my earlier thoughts to focus—no, believe—that I made the right choice tonight.
“Where are we going?” I ask as he turns on the car.
“Well,” he says at length, “I thought that since we’re both dressed nicely and this is our one-month anniversary…”
“It’s our one-month anniversary?” I ask. I hadn’t realized it, and the fact that he remembers touches my heart, and I can’t keep the smile from my face. “You remembered that?”
He arches an eyebrow in amusement. “I figured we’d go get a grilled cheese.”
My smile falters. “Grilled…cheese?”
He chuckles, delighting in my confusion. He reaches out, takes my hand, and gives my knuckles a kiss. “You’ve never had grilled cheese like this before. Do you trust me?”
I watch him for a moment before nodding. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
I moan in pleasure through the hot gooey mess in my mouth.
“Oh my God,” I sigh. “I never knew such a thing could exist.”
Ned laughs softly. “Told you,” he says in a satisfied voice. “Nothing else like it in the world.”
“White truffle on a grilled cheese? Are they just insane here?”
“I think they really just wanted to make the best goddamned grilled cheese possible,” Ned says with a laugh, because I think my eyes are rolling in the back of my head. “A buddy of mine said we had to try it.”
“Well, remind me to thank this buddy,” I say between mouthfuls. “This place is amazing.”
It’s unlike any other place I’ve been. It’s a restaurant that only specializes in grilled cheese, quite honestly one of my favorite foods in the world, but the sandwich has never celebrated like this before. It’s a fancy establishment, with white tablecloths, a wine list with bottles that cost more than a malpractice lawsuit, and the most ingenious variations of grilled cheese sandwiches that I’ve ever seen.
The restaurant is marvelous. And as I take a sip of my wine, I notice that Ned is watching me with an amused expression on his face.
“What?” I ask playfully.
“I’m just glad you said you trusted me,” he says softly.
I put my hand over his and give it a squeeze. I note how much bigger his hand is than mine, how his roughened skin feels against my own. The hands of a man who’s not afraid of getting grease under his fingertips. As the head of robotics at a tech company, he works with them daily.
“Me too,” I whisper.
A look passes behind his gaze as his expression sombers.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says, giving himself a little shake. “Just happy to have found someone who’s willing to try new experiences.”
I feel my brows furrow together. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been so torn today, but this whole thing sounds suspiciously like my conversation with Dawn earlier.
I offer him a smile. “Without trying new things, you never know if you’re going to find something you really like.” I gesture to my plate. “Like a white truffle grilled cheese. Which, by the way,” I pick up the other half, “is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever had in my life.”
He laughs as he picks up his own grilled cheese, one that has over fifteen types of fancy cheese that I can’t even pronounce.
“To us,” he says, holding it forward like one would do to clink his wine glass.
I touch mine to his, perfectly content with the date, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so content. “To us.”
And we laugh and talk as we finish up our meals. Dessert is a kind of ice cream sandwich using a cream cheese ice cream that is just decadent, and we have another wine to top it all off.
I can’t remember the last time having such a fun time on a date. Sure, my previous dates with him have been nice, but it’s as if he decided he need to make tonight perfect for me. To help quell my taboo lusts.
It doesn’t feel like choosing Ned is playing it safe. Not by a long shot.
It’s as if dinner tonight is meant to show me that my future is with Ned. Obviously, he likes me. Enough to take me to such a nice restaurant. To remember the anniversary of our first date. To look at me this way.
It makes me feel like cozy. Beautiful. Wanted.
I could really fall for him. In fact, it may already be too late.
The waiter comes with the check, and before I know it, we’re swept out of the restaurant, shivering in the chilly air. Our breaths come out in puffs of white clouds as we laugh. I pay attention to the smoke curling around Ned’s lips, how his eyes burn as he looks at me.
“What time is it?” I ask breathlessly.
He checks his watch. “After ten.”<
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“What? We spent four hours there?”
His fingers intertwine with mine. “That’s what happens when you’re with someone special.”
I playfully bat on him on the arm. “You’re too much.” Because it’s true. And I don’t want him to stop. I don’t want this night to end.
“And you’re too cold.” He shrugs out of his sports jacket and puts it around my shoulders.
I inhale deeply, his scent wrapping around me.
“Thank you.”
He grins at me, his eyes smoldering in ways that I hope mean he’s thinking of other things. “You’re most welcome. Let’s get you home, Cinderella.”
“Cinderella had until midnight, though,” I tease, loving our banter.
There’s that word: love. I am falling for him. My gasp catches in my throat, and Ned glances at me.
“What’s wrong?”
“N—nothing,” I say, wondering how my heart could flip-flop around so easily today, only to land at this very conclusion: that I want to be with Ned.
Silly fantasies, that’s all they were, right?
Ned is definitely not a fantasy. Ned is definitely not silly. Not if his manly scent is anything to go by.
We reach his car, and he helps me into the passenger’s side like before. I clutch his jacket around me, feeling the regret of the night coming to an end. I mean, I know that I have to go to work in the morning and be the responsible adult that I should be.
But right now, right now…
All I want is for this night to never end.
We pull up to the curb in front of my apartment building. Panic settles in that it’s all going to end too soon. I’m not ready. So not ready.
I turn to him, blurting, “Do you want to come up?”
That sounded totally desperate didn’t it? I can’t quite see his eyes, but I can tell that the muscles in his jaw are moving, considering my offer.
My heart pounds and my palms feel like they’re getting sweaty. Oh God, I moved too fast.
Just when I’m about to burst from anxiety, he reaches over to me with the crook of his finger to capture my chin, pulling me closer to him. Then his mouth is on mine, and instead of me exploding, the world disappears around us until there’s just me and his lips. I swoon in his arms, wanting to hold onto this wonderful, delicious moment.
He breaks the kiss and puts his forehead on mine. “Let me find a place to park,” he says, his voice rough and damn sexy. “I’m parked illegally right now.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll wait outside?”
He looks back at his steering wheel for a moment before shrugging. “Fuck it,” he says. “They can tow me for all I care.”
Then with purposeful, decisive movements, he opens the door and steps outside, closing it behind him without another word. I watch as he comes around the front of the car, my pulse threading in my throat. I hold my breath, wondering if this is real. Could it be real.
He opens the door and leans in, his eyes dark as they bear into me, telling me of all the things he wants to do to me.
And I so want him to do those things to me.
I take his outstretched hand, unbuckle my seatbelt, and he practically pulls me out of the car and into his arms. But that’s not where it ends—his lips are on my throat, under my jaw, kissing their way up to my mouth where he coaxes his tongue inside. I lick him back with a laugh as his strong, manly arms hold me tight.
I hear the dim thud as the door closes behind us, the double beep as he somehow has the presence of mind to lock his car—because I sure don’t, as evidenced by my shaking hands as I try to take my keys out of my purse. He just seems to be everywhere I want him to be, taking up every single thought. There’s no room for my apartment front door.
“Hurry,” he whispers roughly.
Even though I don’t quite know how the front door opens, and we somehow make it up the four flights of stairs—which is quite a challenge when your skater dress is hiked up around your waist and your breasts are exposed as a gorgeous man licks at them and laps at them. He seems to know where to go, to help lead me up the steps to the fourth floor.
I don’t even bother adjusting my clothes as I stumble from the stairwell to my door. Ned’s breath is in my ear, making my skin tingle and the small hairs on my neck stand up. It feels so good.
“Hurry,” he says again, more insistent. Like he needs this as much as I do.
That’s all the motivation I need to finally get the door open and we burst inside. I drop my purse by the door and don’t even bother flipping on the lights before I turn around and capture his lips with mine. His hand cups my jaw, stroking my cheek with his thumb, while his other hand comes up underneath my dress and grabs my ass.
I let out a little moan, and this time, it has nothing to do with grilled cheese.
“This needs to come off,” he growls softly, his fingers going underneath my thong. “But keep the dress on. I like it.”
I grin against his skin as I shimmy out of my underthings, leaving the skater dress where it is, exposed breasts and all. I’m so glad I didn’t go out wearing granny panties. Yet another thing I need to thank Dawn about.
He pulls me against him again, nibbling at my earlobe. I start undoing the top button of his jeans, pulling out his shirt. My fingers, which were trembling so much earlier, are steadier.
“Where do you want to do this?” he asks, nipping at my neck.
I fight to focus my vision, which is tilting at an awkward angle. Where do I want him to have his way with me?
“The bed,” I say in a hoarse voice as I grab him by the belt loops to take him to my bedroom. I think it’s clean enough for guests, not that he’ll be commenting on the décor, but I realize now that I truly hadn’t expected to be bringing a man home tonight.
I need this so bad. I need him so bad.
He casts one glance about my bedroom, those glowing blue eyes taking in everything before settling on my queen-size bed, which I make every morning. A grin pulls at his kiss-roughened lips.
“I like it,” he says amusedly.
“I like you,” I whisper as I unzip his pants and pull out his considerable length, which is already hard and ready to go. The trousers and boxer briefs fall around his ankles as he removes his shirt, giving me a good look at his naked body in the dim light.
Happy one-month anniversary to me, indeed. Suddenly, it’s my favorite special occasion.
He takes a step towards me, his gaze fixated on my breasts, which are still in my bra, the lace top around my shoulders. His long, articulate fingers slip underneath the fabric and teases the nipple into a hard bud.
I gasp at the contact, stars shooting across my line of sight.
“You are so beautiful,” he says against my skin, and I sigh happily. “Such a wonderful, special woman.”
“You’re wonderful and special yourself,” I tell him.
He quirks an eyebrow. “You have no idea.”
Which makes me chuckle as he gives me a gentle push onto the mattress, perpendicular to how one sleeps on it. But maybe this is the best way to lay on it, especially as I push myself back and see his muscular form above me.
I hear the tear of a condom wrapper, and a few seconds later, I feel his tip at my entrance, throbbing with need. He pauses just long enough for our eyes to meet again before he pushes himself in. All eight inches of him, and I give a strangled cry, arching my back off the mattress.
“Oh, God!” I say.
“That’s not my name,” he says amusedly, and for a strange, weird moment, I think I may have said another name, one of the men I lusted after today. But then I see his satisfied smile, at what he’s doing to me, and the panic subsides, giving away to a delicious sensation that’s spreading throughout my middle as he starts to shift his hips, bearing into me. Making me his.
“Oh, Grace. You feel so damn good.”
He does, too, and I can’t get enough of him. I grasp at his shoulders and dig in with my nails, holding on for
dear life as he pumps into me. He’s almost too much for me to take.
Almost.
As it is, I’m panting with every thrust, words coming out of my mouth that don’t make a lot of sense. Sometimes crying, “Yes!” And other times kissing him. And at other times, just his name is on my lips.
“Ned,” I breathe. “Ned, I’m coming…”
He looks down at me, the sweat glistening on his brow, even though the temperature outside is somewhere around freezing. “I’ve got you, Grace,” he whispers. “I’ve got you. Do you trust me?”
Apparently, I do, because the orgasm hits me, and I give out another strangled sound before his lips cover mine, taking me as I come. I pulse around him, shuddering as I ride the wave of pleasure as it sweeps through me like a hurricane.
He gives another several thrusts before he, too, comes, kissing me again, giving me his orgasms just as I gave him mine. His strong body trembles as he empties himself, but I’m still cradled in his arms.
We lay there for a few moments, still connected, feeling our hearts beat as one. I close my eyes and inhale him deeply, memorizing the scent of him. Like leather and peppermint. And I sigh happily, committing that scent to memory.
“I could lay here like this for the rest of my life,” Ned murmurs into my skin, tugging me closer to him.
“You could lay here for the rest of the night, at least,” I offer. He pulls back just enough to search my face. I give him a wicked grin. “Unless you want to have another go.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “What, that wasn’t enough for you?”
“I could go at least three times,” I tell him.
He raises a brow. “Let’s start with another time,” he says. “And go from there.”
I lick my lips tauntingly. “Sounds like something I can live with.”
Two sessions later, as we lay panting in my bed in the aftermath of great sex, he pulls me into his arms, and kisses my neck.
“Thank you, Grace,” he whispers. “For trusting me. Please don’t regret it in the morning.”
“I won’t,” I whisper, but as sleep pulls at me, I wonder what he means by that.
My phone alarm goes off way too early the next morning, and I groan, turning my head toward the too loud noise. For a brief moment, I consider letting it continue ringing, because after five minutes of ignoring it, it snoozes for ten minutes.
