If only she could give him the children she knew he’d want with time. But Eliza knew that dream would never come to pass. She felt moisture dampen her face as a lone tear eased past her troubled heart and onto her cheek.
* * *
Jackson took a deep breath and reentered the house. He felt as if his legs were weighted down with wrought iron. Before he left the smithy, he’d hung a sign on the blacksmith shop saying he was closed. But if an emergency came up he could be reached at the house.
He found his family in the kitchen. Eliza stood at the stove stirring fried potatoes, his mother sat at the table nurturing a hot cup of either tea or coffee and Peter played on the floor with the toy Eliza had gotten him in Glendale. A perfect picture to an outsider but to him it contained all the ingredients for disaster.
Peter saw him first and jumped up. The little boy wrapped his arms around Jackson’s legs. “I missed you, Pa.”
Jackson swung him in the air and said, “I missed you, too. I hear you’ve been working for Mrs. Velarde after school.” He set a giggling Peter back onto the floor.
He puffed his little chest out. “Yep, she pays me in cookies.”
Ida scoffed at the table. “Like that is any type of payment,” she muttered just loud enough for them all to hear.
Peter looked up at him with big eyes. Jackson knelt down in front of him and said, “I’m proud of you, son.”
Ida slapped the tabletop hard enough to jiggle her cup and saucer. Malice dripped from her tongue as she yelped, “Proud? What is there to be proud of?”
Peter’s chin began to quiver. Jackson hugged him and whispered in his ear, “Everything.”
“Now see here.” Eliza turned from the stove and pointed a wooden spoon at Ida. “I’ll not have you speak to my son like that.”
Ida stood and faced Eliza with a snarl on her lips.
Jackson set Peter back down and took a deep breath. It was time to stand up to his mother, time to stand up for his new family. “Mother, that’s enough.” He heard the anger in his voice and for the first time allowed her to hear it, too. “This is my home, and you will respect my wife and son or you can leave.”
She clutched her fists on her hips and glared at him. Her words were filled with contempt. “Really? You really think you can throw me out?”
Jackson looked at Eliza. Her face said it all. She was struggling with anger, disbelief and something more that he couldn’t quiet decipher. “Eliza, would you take Peter to the diner and have breakfast? I need to talk to my mother.”
Eliza took the skillet off the stove and laid the spoon down. Her brown gaze turned to their son and she offered the boy a sweet smile. She held out her hand to Peter. “Come on, Peter. Mrs. Velarde makes the best banana nut pancakes.”
Peter ran to her and grabbed her hand. His frightened eyes looked between Jackson and Ida. “All right.”
Eliza stopped in front of Jackson. She gave him a hug and when he bent down to return the embrace she whispered in his ear, “Be kind but be firm. Don’t lower yourself to her level of behavior.”
He pulled back and was surprised to see a sweet smile on her lips for him. This woman understood him without knowing what drove him and his mother to such behavior. Something he didn’t fully understand himself. All Jackson could manage was a nod.
“Oh, please. I’ve been in this town long enough to know you two are not in love, so you can stop the act.” Ida sat down in a chair and crossed her arms and legs.
Did it look as if they were in love? Jackson released Eliza and watched her lead Peter from the room. He took a deep breath and faced his mother.
When he heard the front door close, Jackson walked over to the table and sat down. “Mother, why are you here?”
She huffed. “I’m your mother. Do I need a reason to be here?” Ida picked up her cup and swirled the liquid around inside, much like she did his emotions.
He ran his hand through his hair. “Yes. All my life you have had a reason for everything you’ve done. I won’t pretend to understand your reasoning, but I know you have one. So, what is it now?”
Ida raised her head and looked proudly down her nose at him. “I followed you because I care about you.”
Jackson hardened his heart. He wanted to believe his mother loved him but past experiences told him it wasn’t true. “Try again.”
Her eyes regained their hardened glint. Ida’s thin lips smiled, but no warmth entered her face. “All right, I came to tell you I am getting married.”
Who would marry her? She was a bitter woman who treated everyone as if they were something that needed to be scraped from her shoes. Jackson didn’t believe her.
She stood to her feet. “I know you don’t believe me. I’ll prove it.” Ida set her cup down and stomped to her room.
Jackson stared out the window while he waited for her to return. Even if what she said was true, that really didn’t explain why she’d taken the time to find him. His mother was up to something, but what?
Ida stalked back into the kitchen. She held a thick envelope in one hand and the other was closed into a fist. “Here.” She thrust the envelope into his hands
Jackson frowned down at the envelope. “What is this?”
She dropped back into her chair. “Your inheritance.”
Jackson felt a laugh build in his throat. They’d always been poor. Whatever was in the envelope couldn’t be much of anything. He allowed the mocking laugh to burst from his throat.
“Open it,” Ida ordered. She looked over the rim of her cup and watched as he slid his finger under the flap and looked inside.
The mocking smile slipped from his face. Money filled it to the rim. Not small notes but large ones. “Where did this come from?” Jackson gasped.
“Your father left it.” She snarled the word father as if it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Jackson studied her face. “But you told me Pa ran off and left us penniless.”
“I know what I said, Jackson. I lied.” She stared at him.
None of it made sense to Jackson. Why would she lie? What really happened? Had she lied to him all his life? He asked one question, the one that burned his tongue and summed it all up. “Why?”
“Because I hated you. I hated that your father loved you enough to leave money to take care of you. Did you know you look just like him? I wanted you to suffer like I suffered. Making you suffer almost felt like I was making him suffer, even if he didn’t know it.” Her eyes took on a crazed look. She continued to watch his every expression.
Was his mother truly crazy? He felt betrayed and confused. “You said he left because of me.” His voice sounded as small as he felt.
“Oh, come on, you didn’t really believe that.” She searched his face and laughed harshly. “You did!” She shook her head. “I’m a better actress than I thought.
He left because of me. The night he ran out on us he gave me that—” she pointed at the envelope “—and said, ‘Make sure my boy is raised right.’”
Jackson looked down at the envelope. So his father had cared about him. “Why didn’t you use this money when I was a kid? It would have made both our lives easier.”
Ida sat down. Another harsh, bitter laugh tore from her throat. “He left money for our everyday lives, too, and even sent more from time to time.” She pointed at the envelope he held. “But that money had your name on it.”
She wasn’t making any sense. Why would the woman not want to use the money to make her life easier, his, too? Confusion must have revealed itself upon his face because she continued. “Don’t you understand? If I had used the money to make your life easier, he would have won.”
Jackson decided his mother really was a little crazy. What she said, was saying, made no sense. How would making his life harder affect his father? The man never looked back. He had no idea wh
at their lives were like.
Her voice rose to a near scream. “I wasn’t going to touch the money. It’s been sitting in the bank all these years.”
He looked down at the money. “Why give it to me now?” he asked cautiously.
“I wasn’t going to but—” she looked at her clenched hands, lying in her lap “—he said I should.” She opened her hand and looked at the ring inside it.
Jackson watched as she slipped a small gold band with tiny diamonds imbedded in the gold on her finger. Her eyes took on a dreamy look for just a moment before she shielded them once more.
He tore his gaze away from her and focused on the apple orchard outside the window. Not really seeing it but trying to get his thoughts together. She’d said his father had sent money to them through the years. Each letter or wire would have had his location on it. She’d known all these years where his father was and hadn’t told him. Even when she knew he’d left to find the man who’d sired him, she’d kept his true location a secret.
Jackson felt anger well up again. “Do you know where Pa is now?” he asked around a lump in his throat.
“Buried in California. I got the letter a few weeks ago.”
There was no end to the cruelty of the woman before him. Did she realize what she had done and was still doing to him? Did she even care? He’d never know his father. Never really know if the man cared about him.
Joy filled her voice as she announced, “His death was the best news I’ve ever gotten.”
Jackson’s mind reeled. “How so?”
“I’m free to marry again.” She continued to stare down at the ring on her finger. “All these years Jasper and I had to hide our love, and now we are free to announce it to the world.” A smile tugged at her lips, and her eyes softened as she thought of the blacksmith from home.
Just to make sure, Jackson asked, “Jasper? The man who trained me?”
Ida nodded. “He was willing to train you so that you’d move on and be out of our lives forever. Why do you think he sent you off as a journeyman as quickly as he did? Whispered lies to you that your father was in this state and that state and then last summer hinted he was in Colorado. I’ll tell you why. With you out of the house we were able to be together all these years.”
A thought came to Jackson. He didn’t want to believe it, but if his mother was confessing he needed to hear it all. “Mother, did Pa know about Jasper?”
Sorrow filled her eyes. “Yes, he shouldn’t have come home early that day, but he did.”
Jackson understood. His pa had caught his mother with the other man. “And that’s when he left.”
Silence hung between them. All these years he’d thought it was his fault his father had left. He’d been told by his mother that his size had caused her not to be able to bear any more children. She’d told him that birthing him had torn her up inside and because his father wanted more children he’d left. Now Jackson realized they’d all been lies told to a ten-year-old boy. None of the lies made sense; if his father had wanted more children he would have taken Jackson with him when he left. At least, that was the hope Jackson clung to now.
Ida stood. “Now that you know, I’m heading home. Jasper is waiting for me and we’re getting married. It’s been a long time since I’ve been truly happy.”
Jackson studied her face. He didn’t see a happy woman. The choices she’d made in life had shaped her and him. The wrinkles in her forehead and around her mouth were permanent markers of the frowns she’d worn over the years. He pulled his shoulders back and raised his head. From this day forward, he’d not allow her spiteful words to hurt him. For the first time in his life, he realized that her mistakes were not his fault.
She turned to leave the room. Jackson wouldn’t let her go like this. He reached out and gently grabbed her arm.
Jackson pulled his mother to him and hugged her. “I hope you and Jasper have a long and happy life.”
Tiredness seeped into his bones. The thought of putting up with her verbal abuse all the way to the train station left him feeling drained. Then he remembered Hank had said he and his wife would be going to Durango.
“I’ll go ask Mr. Browning and his wife if they will escort you back to Durango.” He continued to hold her arm but reached for the money on the table. Jackson pulled out a large bill and tucked it into her hand. “Stay with Mrs. Hattie until your train arrives to take you home.”
Ida tried to give him the money back. “I won’t take that money—it’s his.”
He pressed it deeper into her palm. “No, it’s mine. It was always mine, and I want to make sure my mother is safe until she gets home.”
Ida looked up at him. Her eyes hardened. “You do realize I never want to see your face again, don’t you?”
Her words cut like shattered pieces of glass into his chest. “Yes, but I love you. More importantly I love the Lord, and the Bible says to honor your mother and father. So, maybe after you are married and happy, you’ll change your mind about seeing me.” Jackson gave her another quick squeeze and then hurried to make arrangements for her to leave.
He just prayed Hank would forgive him for asking this favor. Ida Hart liked to make everyone miserable. Jackson prayed his friends would understand.
Jackson sighed. To be fair, he’d lay it all on the line with Hank and if he refused to take her to Durango, Jackson knew he’d drive her and see that she was on the next train home.
Regardless of what she’d said and done she was still his mother. He loved her and would continue to try to forgive her for the lies she’d told him that had shaped his life.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Eliza smiled when she saw Jackson enter the diner. He looked deep in thought, and she wondered how it had gone with his mother. When his gaze connected with hers, he offered a small grin.
“Hi, Pa!” Peter looked around Jackson. “Where’s Mrs. Hart?”
Jackson pulled out the chair beside Peter and across from her and ruffled the boy’s hair. “She’s on her way home.”
She saw Peter’s grin before he stuffed a large forkful of pancake into his mouth. Eliza felt the same way but wondered how Jackson felt about the situation. She found his piercing blue eyes searching her. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. For the first time in my life, I believe I am. My mother and I discussed a few things and she’s a happy woman now.” He reached across and captured her hand in his.
Eliza nodded. She wanted to know more but felt as if this wasn’t the place to discuss what had happened between him and his mother. Also, she was having a hard time concentrating as he turned her hand over and traced the lines in her palm with his rough finger.
“I was thinking maybe we could go down to the fishing hole and spend the rest of the day by the river. What do you say to that?” he asked, raising his eyes and looking into hers.
“Really? I want to go!” Peter squirmed in his chair like a new puppy.
Jackson laughed. “Yes, really.” He released Eliza’s hand and hugged the boy around the shoulders. “I’ve missed my family and think we should have fun today.”
“Can Mrs. Whiskers go, too?” Peter asked, excitedly.
“She sure can.” Jackson answered before looking back to Eliza.
Eliza hated to spoil his good mood, but she did have a sewing shop to run and he had the smithy. “What about our businesses? I can’t just close my shop.”
Unhappiness laced Peter’s face. Eliza hated disappointing the boy but she had a fitting with Charlotte Walker around ten that she couldn’t miss. Now that she was a married woman again, Mrs. Walker had come in and ordered several dresses for both of them. Eliza was counting on that money to help with the rebuilding of her home.
“I’ll put a note on the blacksmith saying I’m at the river with my family and if it’s an emergency to come
find me.” Jackson grinned across at her as if that were the answer to all their problems.
Eliza grinned back at him. “Well, I have a fitting with Charlotte Walker this morning that I can’t miss. So you and Peter go on without me.”
Peter’s face lit up. “All right!” He started to climb down from the table.
Jackson grabbed him by the back of the shirt and set him back in his chair. “Hold on, little man. Finish your milk while I talk to your ma.”
“What about this afternoon? Can you sneak away for a little while?” Jackson’s eyes pleaded with her to say yes. At least that’s what Eliza told herself as she looked into their depths.
She grinned. “I suppose I could take a lunch break and come down for a little while. That way, I can pack you men a lunch and then get back to work later. I shouldn’t miss too much business in that hour.”
He nodded and picked up her hand again. “I would have liked to have had you with us all day but we’ll take what we can get. Isn’t that right, Peter?” He began rubbing small circles on the back of her hand.
Peter was busy trying to drink the whole glass of milk in one guzzle. He nodded his head and continued drinking.
“I’d better get back to the house. I’ll be down there around noon. Are you going to your normal spot?” she asked, gently removing her hand from his and standing. Eliza could still feel the warmth of his finger in her hand.
“Yes. We’ll be in close to the bend in the river by the largest cottonwood trees.” A mischievous gleam was in his eyes, and Eliza wondered if he knew the effect his drawing on her hand had had.
Peter finished his milk and smiled up at her with a white mustache. “Bye, Ma. Can we go now, Pa?” The little boy had dismissed her as sure as any adult would have.
Eliza waved to them as she left the diner. The bell jingled as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. A quick glance at Charlie’s watch told her it was closer to ten than she’d figured. Thankfully it didn’t take long to return to the shop.
Charlotte stood on the porch. Her foot tapped as she waited with arms crossed. When Eliza got within speaking distance the young woman said, “I was about to leave.”
Groom by Arrangement Page 19
