When I stepped into the headquarters office Malinda wasn’t at the desk. My eyes traveled over to the clock on the wall. 12:30 p.m. It was lunchtime. Damn. Maybe if I had called instead of storming down to the office like I was about to set it off up in here, I would have known. I stood there for a few seconds longer, then stepped back behind the desk and headed to see Sergeant Clarke. Ever since Donovan had rammed his Escalade through the neighbor’s house, he had been calling me every other day checking to see how we were doing. I guess he wasn’t as much of a prick as I had originally thought. Or maybe he’d just been kissing my ass because someone had told him to. Either way, I was glad he had finally gotten with the program.
I reached Clarke’s door and paused when I saw it closed. It appeared that the entire office had shut down for lunch. I noticed the dry-erase board hanging on his door and decided to leave a note. When I reached for the marker and pushed against the door it opened slightly, just enough for me to hear voices inside. Being the nosy woman that I am, I pushed it all the way and found Sergeant Clarke sitting in his chair, eyes rolled at the back of his head with a female bouncing up and down on his lap. I don’t know how long I stood there watching him. It was like my feet had a mind of their own.
“I’m coming . . . oh, Clarke . . . yes!” she cried.
By this time, he also came and looked over and spotted me standing there. I realized the woman straddling his lap was Malinda.
“What the—?” he said, startled.
Malinda’s head whipped around and noticed me at the door. She jumped up from his lap and reached for her uniform pants that were on the floor in a heap beside the desk and quickly got dressed. Nasty ass. She didn’t even bother to clean herself up first.
“Don’t you know how to knock?” Clarke barked while he struggled to adjust his clothes.
“Don’t you know how to lock your door?” I retorted. Today was not the day to be getting smart with me. “I came by to ask Malinda if she was having an affair with my husband, but I can see the husband she’s fucking does not belong to me.”
She had the nerve to look offended. “An affair? With Donovan? Puh-leeze. That man is too in love to mess around.”
I tried to keep a blank face, although her words were exactly what I needed to hear.
“Look . . . I’m just trying to find my son.” I had lost some of the attitude from my voice. After all, I needed them; they didn’t need me.
Malinda looked confused. “Your son? What about your son?”
I stepped farther into the room. “He’s missing.” I quickly gave them the Reader’s Digest version of what had happened the day before. “Don got shot before I had a chance to find out where he had taken Aiden. Now I don’t know where else to turn.”
She buttoned her pants and looked over at Clarke, who looked just as puzzled.
“Fuck! I had no idea. But as soon as everyone gets back from lunch I’ll call a meeting and ask if anyone knows anything,” Clarke offered as he fixed his pants.
“Thank you.” I started to turn away, but then added,“Sorry for barging in.”
“No problem,” he called after me. “That’s if . . . we can keep this just between us.” He pointed to him and Malinda.
Like I said before, men ain’t shit. “Sure, it will be our little secret.” I gave him a sick smile, then turned and left the building.
I drove away thinking about my husband being deployed, watching members of his unit having affairs, and the ones who weren’t able to come home at all. I just didn’t get it. Was life that bad that my husband had been willing to end his life and mine? And if so, whom would he have left Aiden with? He didn’t have any family. His father had recently died of kidney failure, although the two had been estranged for years. He distanced himself from the rest of the clan of misfits that he stopped claiming as family years ago.
I drove around for a while, not sure where the hell I went. All I knew was that I had used a fourth of a tank of gas trying to sort out my thoughts and come up with answers. I wasn’t sure what else to do. The police were out there looking for Aiden, yet there was no way I could just sit back on my ass and wait.
So what now?
Tired and hungry I pulled up to my house and raised the garage and the second I looked at Donovan’s wrecked SUV, I just lost it. I put my car in Park and started bawling for my family.
I cried until I didn’t have anything left in me; then I got out of the car and was getting ready to lower the garage door when I noticed a white Mercedes pull into my driveway.
Trinette.
By the time she had managed to wiggle out from behind the wheel, I was already hurrying down the driveway to meet her.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, and wrapped my arms around her the best way I could. I was so glad to see her.
“Dang, girl, I can’t breathe,” she said with a laugh, then hugged me back. “Mama told me what happened, so I gassed up my baby and drove home.”
It’s amazing how she can be a bitch one day and then be so caring the next.
“Have they found Aiden yet?” she asked, clearly worried.
I shook my head and didn’t even bother trying to wipe away the tears that rolled down my cheek. Hell, this was my girl, I didn’t need to.
She shook her head and gave me that determined look of hers. “They’re going to find him. Watch and see.”
God, I hoped she was right. “You know . . . even though he is missing. I feel it in my heart that wherever Aiden is he’s okay.”
Trinette nodded. “So do I.” I helped her carry her bags inside and she flopped down in a chair in the kitchen.
“You are big as a house,” I said with a sad smile. I remembered when I was carrying Aiden. Just thinking about my baby made me feel sad all over again.
“I can’t wait for this baby to be born.” She rubbed her stomach, then must have seen the look on my face. “How’s Don doing?”
I shook my head. “He’s still in a coma. But he’s stable.”
“That’s a good sign.”
I released a long, shaky breath. “I just wish he’d wake up long enough to tell me where my baby is.”
“What all happened? Why did he try to kill himself?”
I took a deep breath and said, “Actually . . . he was trying to shoot me.”
“What?” she exclaimed.
I poured us both a glass of lemonade, then took a seat across from her at the table as I told her about his behavior since Lorenzo’s death, the drunk driving incident, and my fears that my husband suffered from PTSD. By the time I was telling her about him pointing the gun at me, I was reaching for a napkin to dry my tears.
Trinette squeezed my hand. “He’s going to pull through and you’re going to find Aiden.”
“I-I hope so. I just want my family b-back and everything to be the way it should be. Is that asking too much?” I stammered between tears.
“For you . . . absolutely not. Me, on the other hand, it’s asking a whole helluva lot. Wait until I tell you what happened to me. . . .”
34
Nikki
I left the bookstore a little early so I could go by the hospital to see Donovan. I hated going to St. John’s Hospital before five because there were never any parking spaces, so once again I was forced to park at the top of the parking garage. I climbed out and made it up to the ICU with plenty of time left to speak with his doctor during their evening rotation. All I wanted was for Donovan to come out of that coma and tell me where Aiden was.
I moved down the corridor and found his door opened. When I stepped around the curtain I found a woman sitting beside Donovan’s bed with his hand pressed against her cheek.
“What the . . .” I started, and then I realized who the woman was. “Jackie?”
Smiling, she slowly dropped his hand and rose. “Oh, Nikki, I was hoping I would get a chance to see you while I was here. Rae called an FRG meeting and told us Donovan was in here. I came down to offer words of comfort to both of you.”<
br />
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” I stared her up and down. Jackie was fair skinned with freckles and short, reddish brown hair. She looked cute in dark jeans and a yellow peasant blouse.
I was looking over at my husband’s lifeless body when I heard her mumble, “I hope you don’t mind me being alone with him.”
My head whipped around. “Why would I mind that?” I needed her to explain.
Jackie shrugged. “I don’t know,” she began; then I noticed the tears clouding her eyes. “You have no idea how much your husband has meant to me these last few months.”
Okay, she was saying fighting words. “No, but I bet you’re about to tell me,” I said with enough attitude that her head jerked back.
“What? Oh, you got it all wrong.” She started shaking her head. “It’s nothing like that. Your husband saved my life. After Smitty died and I lost the baby, I didn’t know how to go on with my life, but your husband helped me get through it.”
I saw a tear run down her cheek and I felt bad for accusing her of... well, I’m not sure what, but a few minutes ago there definitely had been something running through my mind. Only it shouldn’t have been that. Jackie and I used to be close. When she had first found out she was pregnant, I was one of the few people she had contacted. I also remembered when she had called me wondering if I had heard from Donovan because she hadn’t spoken to her husband in two days. As soon as the notification came that Smitty had been killed by an IED, I had hurried over to comfort Jackie. However, after that it was just too hard to be around a grieving widow because the same thing could have happened to my own husband at any moment. I’m embarrassed to admit that I started acting like death was contagious if I got too close. By staying away from Jackie it was my way of shielding myself from the same possibility. It had been my way of preventing something like that from happening to my own husband.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been by to see you since . . . since Donovan came home. I’ve been so busy with the bookstore, Donovan, and Aiden. You know how it is,” I explained.
“No, I’m afraid I don’t know how it is,” she said, and there was no mistaking the sarcasm in her voice before she forced another smile.
Damn, I guess she wouldn’t know. Both her husband and child were gone. I felt like such an ass.
“Did you know your husband’s been by to see me almost every week since his return from Afghanistan?” She didn’t even wait for an answer. “Well, it’s meant a lot. It’s hard being without Smitty. Talking about him helps keep his memory alive.” Women like her needed a man in order to survive.
I had no idea my husband had been visiting her. For a brief moment, I wondered what else he had been hiding.
“Jackie . . . Aiden is missing, and since Donovan is in a coma he can’t tell me where he is. You spent so much time with my husband . . .” It took everything I could to keep the jealousy from my voice. “. . . would you have any idea where Donovan might have taken him?”
She gasped. “Missing? Oh my! You mean to tell me you have no idea where Aiden is?” Jackie looked just as upset as I felt. “No, I have no idea. He’s brought him by the house before, but it’s been a while.” She shook her head. “You must be losing your mind!”
“I am. The only person who knows where he is is Donovan.” I sighed with despair. Four days and still no sign of my baby.
“I pray that Donovan wakes up and your son comes home to you.” Jackie looked so sad and pathetic. That woman was just too fragile.
“Thank you,” I said, and I meant it.
Her bottom lip quivered; then she briefly turned away. “I can’t help but think that if I hadn’t given him Smitty’s gun, none of this would have happened.”
“Hold up! You gave him Smitty’s gun?” I had wondered how he had gotten another gun so quickly. After the shooting incident at the barbershop, I had taken Donovan’s gun and hid it in a box in the garage.
“I’m afraid so.” She nodded. “Last week, he had come out to the house to see me and asked about Smitty’s gun. Donovan knew exactly where he’d kept it in the attic. I don’t like guns in the house so I let him have it. But I n-never expected him to use it on himself.”
Neither had I, and now my husband was lying in a hospital bed and my son was missing. “Well, he did.” I wished she’d just leave. It wasn’t like I could sit there and talk to her about my problems. The woman was too much of a basket case. All she would do is get all emotional and make me feel even worse than I already did. “Thanks for coming by, but I would really like to be with my husband . . . alone.”
She flinched as if I had struck her. I guess the word husband hit a cord. “Yes, I guess you would. I would give anything to see my Smitty again. But I guess that won’t happen again.” There was a bitter edge to her voice.
Okay, so here we go with that again. It wasn’t like I wasn’t a sympathetic woman, but her husband had been dead more than a year. I know some people grieve longer, but I had my own problems to deal with. Finding my son was my top priority. My husband waking up from his coma was second.
“Anyway, if you need anything . . . I mean anything, please let me know.” Her smile was sincere and for a moment I felt guilty for rushing her off. “Before Smitty died we bought this old house in Belleville, so I’ve been slowly trying to renovate it the way I know he would have wanted. I’ll be out there if you need anything.”
“Thank you.” I hugged her and waved her good-bye.
After Jackie left, I moved over to the seat she had vacated and stared at my husband lying in the bed with all those damn tubes attached to him.
“Donovan, please . . . if you can hear me, please give me some kinda sign. I need to know where Aiden is. Please . . . I need to find our baby.”
And then he squeezed my hand. My heart started pounding heavy and I looked up at his face and saw a single tear coming from the corner of his eye. “You can hear me, can’t you?” I jumped from my seat and screamed for the nurse.
35
Trinette
Nikki was sitting in the large recliner with Rudy in her lap. “I know what I saw. Don was trying to give me a sign!”
I felt so sorry for Nikki. She had been so sure her husband was coming out of the coma when he squeezed her hand. But according to the doctor, it was just a reaction from the medication they were giving him. “He probably was trying to find a way to tell you something. I’ve seen movies where people have said they were in a coma and could hear everything that was being said around them. One woman was stupid enough to think since her husband was in a coma she could whisper in his ear that she was riding his best friend’s dick in his bed until his return.”
“What?” Nikki screamed and then started laughing. I was trying to cheer her up, so that was exactly the response I had hoped for.
I reached for another slice of pizza. “Yeah, girl. He woke up from that coma two days later and repeated everything she had said to him word for word.”
“Hmmm. I wonder if he’ll remember me telling him about my relationship with Kenyon.” Nikki rubbed her hand along Rudy’s coat. That dog was so spoiled.
“Maybe.” I paused, then asked, “What do you think was running through Donovan’s mind after he read Kenyon’s letter?”
Nikki shook her head with despair. “Betrayal, hurt, even revenge.”
Yep. The same way Leon had felt after he found me screwing Jrue at the condo. “Nikki, I wouldn’t be surprised if Donovan went to confront Kenyon.”
Her head whipped around, eyes wide with surprise. “Drive to Fulton? Do you really think so?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. You’d have to check the date on the envelope, but there’s no telling how long Donovan had that letter. He could have been thinking about you messing around, waiting for the right opportunity. Hell, if he was anything like me, I would have wanted to get all my facts straight first. Then I would have paid Kenyon a visit.”
She just sat there staring off in space, probably thinking about what I had just s
aid. “Anything is possible. Netta, I’ll never be able to forgive myself for not telling him sooner.”
Her eyes were all red from all the crying she had been doing since she’d gotten back from the hospital. “Back then you didn’t think he needed to know about the affair. Hell, there were a lot of things I never told Leon.”
She gave a rude snort. “And you see where that shit got you. So what’s your plan now?”
I chewed my pizza and shrugged, because I really had no idea what the hell I was going to do now. I had no job, no place to live, and was a tank of gas away from being broke. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do at this point. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll stay with Mama until after the baby is born.”
“Really?” Her brow rose with surprise. “Are you feeling well?”
“It’s not like I have much of a choice. I can only stay here so long. Eventually your husband and son will both be home.”
Nikki released a long sigh. “I sure hope so.”
“I figured I could stay with Mama. Until this baby is born I can’t even look for a job.” My little savings will be long gone before then. I guess that’s what I get for never bothering to prepare for a rainy day. All my life I have lived from one man’s payday to the next and spending mine in between. It is so sad. I am a woman in her thirties with absolutely nothing to show for it. All my life I have climbed on the shoulders of some and stepped on the toes of others. As a result, I am homeless and Nikki is the only friend I have left.
“You wanna go and see a movie or something?” I suggested.
Nikki gave me a gloomy look, then shook her head. “No, my mind is on too much. I wouldn’t at all be good company.”
I met her sad smile. “Okay. I understand. Just trying to find a way to cheer you up.”
“I just appreciate you being here. Although I’m starting to think the only reason why your pregnant ass drove nine hundred miles was because you didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
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