“Done,” Admiral Stuart said. “I’ll make arrangements should we survive the coming fight.”
“Fine. We’ll leave in the morning.”
“You don’t want to discuss plans?”
“No,” he said. “I trust, Lily. She won’t agree to anything that will cause unnecessary risk. Just point me towards the Reaper and I’ll kill it for you.”
“Very well…” He seemed utterly confused so I stepped in.
“We’ll need to stay the night.”
“Samuel!” he called.
“My Lord Death?” a voice said from behind me and I jumped a little. I’d not realised he was there.
“Provide the soldiers with somewhere to sleep and provisions. Then call back all our people and ensure they rest.”
“As you command.” He hesitated. “The rite?”
“Any ready to ascend?”
“They are all prepared. All three of them.”
“Very well,” he said and looked at me, a smile forming. “You might not want to watch it.”
“I’ll get the troops settled,” I told him. “Speak later though, yeah?”
“Of course.”
His smile followed me as I led the Admiral away. I glanced back to see him watching me and he didn’t look away when my eyes met his.
“Strange man,” Admiral Stuart said as we followed the black-garbed Samuel through a photo shop.
“You can say that again,” I agreed.
“Can we really trust him?”
I watched him from the corner of my eye and thought hard before I answered.
“Yes, so long as you don’t try to hurt anyone he cares about or betray him.”
“There’s no intention of betraying him,” he said. “But these are my people at risk too.”
I had no answer to that. Both of them had their own goals, both of them would fight and die to protect their people, but they were polar opposites. Like light and dark, an Angel and a Devil. One determined to protect the people of the world, the other determined to kill the creatures that threatened them.
They just had to realise that their goals were the same and they were just going about it differently. Working together, I truly believed that they would be almost unstoppable. And, I was woman enough to admit that part of me wanted them to work together so I didn’t have to choose between one side or the other.
Samuel, the black-garbed man who seemed to follow Ryan like a puppy, led us to a room that was large enough to hold all twenty of us. Not as many as I’d hoped and we’d be relying on Ryan and his people to make up the bulk of the force, but all we could spare.
There were two acolytes left to stand beside the door as Samuel left without a word and I set to making sure my squad were settled and then sat and listened to the men and women talk. Jennings had opted to sit in the far corner, the furthest he could get from us without being in another room.
Admiral Stuart waited patiently for the medic to finish cleaning and dressing the captain’s wound before he sat beside him and began to talk. I could guess what that discussion would be about and I hoped that the Captain didn’t have anything to say that would derail our plans.
As much as I thought I knew Ryan, the whole cult thing was bizarre to me. The cutting off of fingers, the hanging zombies were incredibly creepy. They were the kind of things I would have expected a serial killer to do before I met Ryan and realised he wasn’t like that.
But maybe I was wrong.
“Food’s here,” Gregg said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Safe to eat, ma’am?” Mark asked.
He’d been in a pissy mood for a while and it got worse whenever Ryan was around. I’d known he had a small crush on me and had ignored it, knowing it would fade in time. With the knowledge that Ryan was… what he was to me, jealousy was growing in the young soldier. I could only hope he wouldn’t do anything that would get himself killed.
“Yeah, will be fine,” I said as I pushed myself up.
“Where you going?” Gregg asked.
“Need to talk to Ryan some time,” I said and ignored his smirk. “Watch Jinx.”
I made my way to the door and was intercepted by the Admiral. He gripped my arm tightly and leant in close.
“Be careful, Lieutenant. I don’t care how well you claim to know him, that man’s dangerous.”
“I know,” I said softly. “But not to me.”
The acolytes moved aside to let me pass and then stepped back into place as the Admiral approached the door. Clearly, I had the run of the place and the others didn’t.
There was no one in that cavernous room other than the zombies and their ever-present stench. No blood on the floor either, which indicated the rite had gone well at least. I was relieved we’d not needed to see that again.
“He’s in his room,” a voice said behind me and I spun on my heel, hand reaching for my weapon.
“Sorry,” I said as I recognised the lean form of Samuel.
“No apologies necessary. I can show you to him if you like.”
“Thanks,” I said and he turned to walk away. I hesitated a moment before heading off after him. “Why can you talk to us but the others can’t?”
“My Lord Death has allowed it,” he said simply.
“He allowed it?” That wasn’t a great sign.
“Commanded it,” Samuel said apologetically. “My preference would be to serve with my brothers and sisters, but he has need of me.”
“He does?”
“Yes.”
That was that. Nothing else to say on the matter it seemed. Since I was having doubts, I wanted to know as much as I could, so I pressed on.
“You’re his second in command, yeah?”
“I serve in that role.”
“And you think… believe, he is Death?”
“We know he is.”
Okay, blind faith it is then.
“The finger thing…”
“He was lenient. The Dead do not need half measures.” He paused and looked back at me. “We are all that stands between the Living and the Scourge. We cannot afford to be weak.”
“You think Ryan was weak?”
“Of course not! His will is unquestioned.”
“You really believe it, don’t you?”
He didn’t need to answer, I could hear it in his voice. That fanaticism that comes from the newly converted in any religion. I was pretty sure that if Ryan asked him to cut his own hand off, Samuel would do it without hesitation.
“What did he do to inspire such loyalty?” I asked as Samuel came to a stop at the end of a long corridor.
I wasn’t sure he was going to answer, but finally, he turned to me. His eyes meeting mine and allowing me to see just the sort of man I was speaking to. A shiver ran down my spine.
“He saved us.”
That was it then. No real explanation other than that. I hesitated, wondering if I should ask another question and he raised one arm and pointed along the corridor.
“His room is at the far end.”
“No one else is in this part of the building?”
“My Lord Death is… cautious, even with us,” he said.
I nodded politely and made to brush past him when his hand shot out to grab my wrist. I looked at him in alarm and he released me.
“Help him… please.”
“What do you mean?”
But the man turned and walked away without giving me an answer and I stared after him, wondering what he meant.
With a shake of my head, I dismissed his words and set off towards the room he’d indicated. It was quiet, too quiet for my liking. I’d become used to living in close quarters with large groups of people for some time now and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand so much oppressive silence.
The door was open and I stood in the doorway, staring aghast, into the room. There was little in it, but for a battered thin mattress on the floor, a first aid kit, some clothing and a few tools. Nothing personal at all and it was less than a pr
isoner would have in a cell.
Ryan himself, stood with his back to the wall, his eyes closed as he leant his head back. His long-bladed knife was in his hand and his leather jacket was on the floor, allowing me to see the ruined flesh of his torso.
“Are you here to kill me?” he asked and I jumped, startled by the pain in his voice. “You can try.”
Thin laughter came from him and he still hadn’t opened his eyes, seeming to not care who had come to his room. There was a madness in his laughter and I fought down the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.
I walked into the room and his eyes flicked open. Bloodshot and surrounded by dark rings, there was a tension there that I’d not seen before. The corner of his mouth lifted up into a smile.
“Hello, Lily.”
My hand reached up to hover above the scars that ran across his ribs. There was nothing to him but lean muscle and scar tissue. The jagged rips in the flesh had been sewn together, badly, and I grimaced.
“Not my neatest work,” he said when he noticed my look. “But my options were limited.”
“The Feral did this?” I asked. “The one that knocked you from the wall?”
“Yes.”
I shuddered to think of him, alone out in the world, bleeding from multiple wounds and surrounded by enemies. He’d been forced to try to sew his own wounds shut with no pain relief and no help. I didn’t think I had the sheer will, that urge to survive that it would take to do that.
“This?” I asked, pointing to a puckered scar on his shoulder.
“Georgia stabbed me with that nasty weapon of hers,” he said and chuckled. “Just before I threw her off the wall.”
“This?” A red patch of skin on his left arm.
“Fire rained down on the river,” he said. “Barrels of fuel spilling their contents as they were thrown by the blast. Some of it caught me.”
“Your leg?”
“Glass shard when I was fighting the Reaper.”
“This?” I asked pointing to his neck.
“Earlier today, fighting the zombies.”
“And this?” I asked, pointing to an angry red scar that went from his right wrist to his elbow.
“Someone tried to kill me and make it look like a suicide,” he said. “They missed my vein.”
I reached up, my hand trembling as I touched his cheek. Day old stubble was rough against my fingers and his eyes slowly closed, before he jerked away from me, eyes opening wide.
“No,” he said. “You have to go.”
“Why?”
“They’ll come for me tonight,” he said. “I’m sure.”
“Who will?”
“Samuel, the others,” he said, his voice barely more than a mumble. “Can’t trust them.”
“How long since you slept?”
He paused and looked at me, blinking as though unable to quite focus.
“I sleep when I need to,” he said. “An hour, here or there.”
“When did you eat?” I poked his scrawny frame with one finger for emphasis and felt bad when he winced.
“Can’t be sure it’s not poisoned.”
That wasn’t the man I knew. His shoulders slumped and I realised that he was leaning against the wall to hold himself up. If he sat down he might fall asleep and he was too paranoid to do that. No doubt the reason he was so far from the others too.
He’d been all alone in a world full of danger and had no idea how to trust anyone. He couldn’t see that any one of his followers would die for him. Hell, I could see that and I’d barely been around them and then only in the last couple of days. As for Samuel. I very much doubted that man would do anything that would harm or even offend Ryan.
How long had he been like this? Not sleeping, hardly eating, his paranoia growing as he succumbed to the same thing that made his followers so willing to believe in him?
“Do you trust me?” I asked and he blinked.
“Always.”
“Then sleep and I’ll watch over you.”
He stared at me, suspicion stirring in his gaze and I dropped down to the bed, patting the space beside me with one hand.
“Come on, lay down.”
His fingers tightened around the knife and he glanced at the door. He muttered something under his breath and slowly slid down the wall, before shifting over to the mattress.
“Give me the knife,” I said and he released it without question as I put one arm around his shoulder and pulled him close.
“You’ll stay awake?” he murmured.
“Yes,” I said as I sniffed and wiped at my eyes.
The pain in his voice was almost unbearable. He’d been alone for the past few months, surrounded by people and seeing nothing but threats. I’d stay awake and watch over him in one of his few moments of weakness.
I ran my fingers through his hair and listened as his breathing deepened. I might not agree with this cult he’d formed, but I could understand why he did it. For a man who had walked away from the only people he’d trusted, he’d been trying to build a new group, but hadn’t known enough to realise that he had to be willing to trust them too.
Chapter 28 – Ryan
I awoke feeling a great deal more refreshed than I had for quite some time. My eyes blinking against the light coming in through the window. Lily smiled down at me.
“Morning,” she said and I pushed myself up to a sitting position.
“Ah… I’m not a hundred percent sure of what happened last night.”
“Don’t worry, nothing untoward happened,” she said with a grin that I could only describe as impish.
“Thank you,” I said. “For staying.”
I didn’t remember all the details but I did remember that she was willing to stay and keep watch for me. It’d been so long since I’d had someone willing to watch my back that I could trust that I’d forgotten what it was like to actually sleep.
“No problem,” she said. “Now we need to get you some food.”
She saw me hesitate and her expression darkened as she gave me a stern look.
“You need to eat.”
“I know,” I said placatingly, hands held up before me in mock surrender. “I know.”
“You’ve not been looking after yourself at all,” she continued. “Just look at all these injuries. Your body needs time to heal.”
“No time for that.” I flashed her a grin as I reached for a shirt. “Undead to kill and people to save.”
“I actually admire what you’re doing,” she said and I looked at her in surprise. “Well, I do. Not necessarily how you’ve gone about it, but the saving people is good.”
“Sure.”
“Why though?”
“Why what?”
“Are you saving them?”
That was an easy question with a not so easy answer. But I could tell from the tone of her voice that she required an answer. I recognised that much from when we’d been together and yet I just wasn’t sure how much of an answer I was willing to give her.
“When I left,” I began. “It was for a reason. Afterwards, I headed south.”
“With Georgia,” she said in a flat tone of voice that I guessed meant something.
“Yeah. She watched my back for a while and we met up with some others, eventually coming to a building with high walls and a lot of people inside.”
“Lou’s place?”
“Aye. I was with a bad group for a time and it was then that I realised something.”
“What?”
“You’d broken me.”
She stared at me, eyes wide and surprise on her face.
“I did what?”
“My time with you had changed me,” I said with a shrug. “I couldn’t enjoy killing people for no reason, especially people you would have considered innocent.”
“You did kill some innocents then?” she asked with a catch in her voice.
“A couple,” I admitted. “But only when necessary.”
“How necessary?”
“No. I guess not. If you think you had a reason and not just because you wanted to.”
“Oh, there was a reason and it just didn’t do anything for me.”
“No pleasure?”
“None at all,” I agreed. “I thought I was done. The one thing I enjoyed had been taken from me and then I killed this truly unpleasant person and found a great deal of joy in it.”
“Unpleasant? How?”
“He was like me, but with no restrictions,” I said and she nodded, seeming relieved.
“Then, later on, I found that killing the zombies to save Lou and his people brought me something like the pleasure I had with murder.”
“So, you kept doing it…”
“Yes.”
“And formed this group,” she said with a wave of her hand towards where my minions were quartered. “That allowed you to keep rescuing people and killing the bad guys. That right?”
“Just about.”
She was silent for a time and I wondered if I should say something but when I looked at her, there was definitely something about her expression that told me it wouldn’t be the best thing to do. I didn’t understand quite what that was, but I was sure I’d made that mistake before.
I didn’t mind the silence anyway and if I were totally honest, just being there, with her, was… pleasant. I’d missed her. There was no denying that and though I blamed her a little for my current inability to enjoy indiscriminate murder, I couldn’t deny that I wanted her to be near me again.
Which was strange since I had never felt such a compulsion for anyone in all my years of life. People were there to be used or killed. Nothing else. Until her. It was very irritating, more so because I was aware of it yet couldn’t quite understand why.
“I can live with that,” she said and it was my turn to be surprised.
“Huh?”
Her answer was to wrap her arms around me in an embrace, her lips meeting mine in a way that I found to be quite pleasant and somehow more than I’d remembered it to be.
****
Sometime later, I wandered into the large room that had been long used as our dining area and was greeted by a sea of faces turning towards me. There was a moment of silence and then a scramble as everyone reached for their black hoods.
Killing the Dead (Book 12): Fear the Reaper Page 18
