by Penny Ward
The whole thing was driving him crazy and he was racking his brain trying to figure out what he had done to deserve it.
Beau: What's going on?
Harper didn’t reply to the text. She didn’t want to even think about him.
But then the phone buzzed again.
Beau: Did I do something to upset you? It seemed like you left the office in a hurry.
Finally, Harper gave in to the request for a response.
With anger, she typed.
Harper: Of course I was upset.
She was seething and just wanted to get this over with and go to bed. She didn't want to have to hash it out with him and listen to all of the stupid excuses he was going to try to give her.
She didn’t feel strong enough for excuses.
Beau: Why are you upset?
Harper: I saw you earlier with the Sports Illustrated model.
Beau: And?
Harper fought back a laugh of disdain. What sort of prick was this man?
Harper: You think that's okay?
Beau: It was work.
Harper: Sitting alone at the office with her on your lap nibbling at your neck doesn't count as work.
Beau: It wasn't like that. I can explain it, Harper.
Harper: There is nothing to explain. Don't bother.
She switched her phone off and tossed it on the couch.
Her hunger level was rising and she wandered into the kitchen to see if there was anything she could eat before collapsing into bed.
There wasn't much to choose from.
Shopping had never been her strong point.
She forgot about it most of the time until there was nothing left. It looked like tomorrow she was going to have to make a trip out to the grocery store.
Harper decided on a hard cider and a hot pocket that she didn't remember buying and ate it leaning against the kitchen sink.
The television was on and everything seemed to bring up some memory of Beau.
From the sports channel, to the soaps and the news.
Everything brought her mind to him.
After changing the channel four times, she switched it off and sat in the silence.
'Maybe I'll just go to bed early tonight' Harper thought and swigged the last of her hard cider tossing the bottle in the sink.
At least tomorrow she would have the office to herself.
The team had one last practice before the game and everyone would be down at the field watching while she cracked down and got to work on saving the team if they pulled off a win.
“That's the plan,” Harper whispered groggily as she crawled into bed and checked that her alarm was set.
“Avoid the whole bunch of them. Especially Beau,” she groaned and rolled over, turning off the light and shutting off her mind for the rest of the night.
But her mind had other plans for her.
Sleeping alone in her bed after having Beau with her every night for almost a week made the bed feel too big and too cold.
As much as she didn’t want to, she missed his warmth.
She didn’t want to miss his touch.
She didn’t want to miss his soft whispers.
But she couldn’t help it…
She couldn't get comfortable and ended up tossing and turning until early in the morning when her body finally gave into exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep only to be jerked awake by the blaring of her alarm a few short hours later.
Chapter Thirteen
This was the most important practice of the year and Beau couldn't keep his mind on the game.
Between each play his mind wandered and it kept going back to Harper and how badly he had messed up his one shot with her.
The coach was giving him the evil eye from the sidelines each time he had to be brought back to earth from his daydreams and Beau had a feeling Coach Reynolds was running out of patience with him.
Everyone was under so much stress about this game.
The existence of the team depending on a win tomorrow.
Everyone's job was on the line.
The Warrior's had to win this game.
If they lost it looked like the commissioner was going to shut them down and that would be the end of the team.
The Warrior's had been a community anchor for years.
Kids came to see the games with their parents, schools came on field trips, every bar in town had the game on somewhere in the building and people were genuinely involved with the players and the spirit of the game flooded the community.
But support doesn’t make up for bad financial management – Harper was learning that.
A whistle blew and Beau looked around while the ball and the rest of the team blasted past him and nearly knocked him flat on his back.
Catching up to the group, Beau managed to steal the ball and send it flying to the other end of the field where his teammate was waiting.
He didn't understand why Harper was having such an effect on him.
Maybe he did.
Talking to her the other night in her apartment and opening up about himself had meant something to him.
He wasn't one to talk about himself much.
Normally when he was talking to girls they wanted to talk about their own issues and interests and he was fine with being an ear and keeping to himself.
When Harper had wanted hear about him it had taken him aback for a minute.
Most women wanted to hear details about the winning soccer games or about exciting things that happened when the team toured the country but with Harper's lack of knowledge and interest in soccer, he found she really only wanted to hear about him.
She wanted to know who he was and about things that were important to his life outside of the field and the matches.
There had been a time in his life not too long ago where he had lost the rest of that.
Everything outside of soccer had just become filler.
They were things that happened between practice and meaningless occurrences between games.
There was more to him now.
Harper was giving him something to look forward to between it all.
He was even looking forward to the season ending just so he could have some more time to spend with her. That was huge for him to admit and monumental for him to feel when everything since the age of three had been soccer and games and practices.
And it had been Harper who set up the fundraiser for the game tomorrow and set up all of the details with the vendors and sponsors.
That wasn't even part of her job.
With her lack of interest in the game itself, Beau wondered if maybe she had done it for him because she knew how important the sport was to him.
He sighed.
He had really messed up this time and it wasn't even completely his doing but in a way it all fell on his shoulders.
Harper had trusted him and he had broken that trust.
That wasn't easy to swallow.
For all of Harper's hard work and planning to pay off, the team needed to do their part in the whole thing and win the game tomorrow but yet Beau couldn't get his head in the game.
There was nothing that was holding his attention on the field and everything was coming back to her.
Harper was up in her office watching the team practice. It didn't seem to be going as well as she thought it was supposed to look. Beau looked like he was struggling.
“Probably up all night with some slutty…” she trailed off staring out onto the field.
She really needed to let go of this.
Holding on to her anger wasn't going to do her any good and it wasn't going to make working here any easier.
Harper had a feeling when it came down to the line, the team was going to do fine and pull off the win they needed. It was just going to take Beau getting his head in the game.
He was missing shots he could have done in his sleep.
Harper decided she had seen enough and the jealousy and anger that was raging inside
of her was putting her in a bad mood.
Being the only one in the office today, she figured no one would care if she took off early and headed home for the night.
She just didn't feel like being there anymore.
She needed to go home and forget about Beau for a few hours. Though as of yet that hadn't been an option.
There was no avoiding the talk of the Warriors and the great Beau Donovan anywhere she went.
Harper didn't understand why she couldn't just get over it and move on.
It wasn't like they were in a committed relationship for years.
They had a few nights together, an evening of amazing sex and a few conversations.
'Because you fell in love with him,' a voice inside of her crept up and whispered inside her head like the devil on her shoulder.
“I am not in love,” she swore.
She stared out the window.
“Maybe,” she added. “But it doesn't matter anymore.”
She tried to convince herself believe what she was saying.
Chapter Fourteen
The next time Beau missed the ball due to a delayed realization, the coach blew his whistle and demanded he come over to the sidelines to talk.
“What the hell is going on with you today Donovan? We have the biggest game of the season tomorrow and you're not even here!”
The coach continued to yell with the veins in his neck bulging dangerously and sweat pouring down his forehead.
“I'm here, coach. I'm sorry. I'll get it together. Just a lot going on in my head right now and I had a pretty rough night last night.”
“I don’t want to hear about your rough night or any other bullshit excuse you want to try to bring here. You're the oldest guy on the team, and in order to stay in the game you need to be focused and you need to get your head out of your ass and act like you want to be here before you're not,” Coach Reynolds pushed his finger into Beau's chest with every word, jabbing into his muscles.
“I get it,” Beau said sourly.
He knew the team was counting on him to be in prime playing condition and that the age factor was weighing on everyone, especially Coach Reynolds, who had been his coach from the first day of his major league career.
That meant that he was entitled to be extra hard on him when he thought he needed to.
Coach Reynolds knew Beau well enough to know that something was going on with him and he needed to sort it out before the game tomorrow or they were done.
“You need to get out of here, Beau,” he said in a resigned tone, barely audible over the rest of the team. “Go get your head straight. Do whatever it's going to take to get your head clear and come back tomorrow ready to win the game. Your head needs to be in this game. Do you hear me?”
“Yeah, Coach. I hear you.”
“Figure it out Beau. Do what needs to be done.”
“I'll figure this out,” Beau said and headed off to the locker room to change out of his uniform and cleats and back into his street clothes.
Beau pulled his shirt over his head and pulled it down.
He came to the realization that there was only one thing that was going to free up his mind enough to let him focus on the game and that was to get rid of the burning guilt and the gnawing need for Harper that was eating away at him from the inside.
“I need to go talk to her,” Beau slammed the locker and jogged up to the stairs that lead to the office portion of the building.
Beau went down to her office and knocked on the closed door.
No one answered and he opened it only to find it empty and the lights out.
He sighed loudly in disappointment.
“She went home early,” Jill said from behind him.
“When?” He asked.
“About twenty minutes ago probably,” Jill shrugged.
“Thanks.”
“Beau?” She stopped him.
“Yeah?”
“I'm not sure what happened between you but whatever it is you need to fix it. She's really upset. I don't like seeing my friend hurting like that.” Jill gave him a scowl.
“I'm trying to fix it right now if I could find her,” Beau told her.
“Like I said. She went home.”
“Thanks.” Beau left the office and headed out to the parking lot, pulling his keys out of his pocket and jamming them into the ignition.
Chapter Fifteen
Beau drove the fifteen minutes to Harper's apartment.
Having only been there in the dark, it took him a little bit to get used to seeing everything in the daylight and figure out which of the brick buildings was hers.
He went up the stairs and found her apartment and knocked on the door.
The sound of the television shutting off and someone walking inside told him she was home.
Harper jumped when someone started knocking on her door.
Not many people knew where she lived and those who did didn't make a habit of dropping by in the middle of the day unannounced while she was normally at work.
The thought made her nervous.
Peering through the peephole, she saw it was Beau and let out a sigh of relief.
A thousand different emotions battled inside of her as she debated whether to open the door or not.
Seeing him at her door was completely unexpected.
As much as she was missing him, she thought he had decided to respect her decision to cut him out of her life.
She stood there watching him through the hole and waiting to see if he would turn around and go home.
'Can I just let him walk away?' Harper thought with her hand hovering over the doorknob.
“I know you're in there, Harper,” Beau said leaning on the door out of her limited view of the hallway.
She cursed him and opened the door.
“What are you doing here, Beau? I thought I made it clear that you and I were done,” the words stung her throat with the poison dripping from them.
Harper crossed her arms over her breasts.
“I need to talk to you,” Beau said in a tone that showed how distressed he was.
Harper couldn’t help but feel bad for him just a little bit.
Seeing him as out of sorts as she was helped her feel a little better about her moping over the last forty-eight hours.
She widened the door.
“Fine. Come in,” Harper caught the smell of him as he walked past her.
The scent of male sweat, his heated body and his delicious cologne made her want to slip out of her panties.
“Thank you, Harper,” he said, looking into her eyes with his deep hazel irises.
He sat on her couch looking like a ball of nervous energy.
The look didn't fit with the man she had come to know - the strong, confident man who took what he wanted and dominated his sport and anyone else who came before him.
“I know you didn't want to talk to me anymore... I kind of picked up on that when you started looking through me and ignoring your phone. So I appreciate you giving me the chance to come in and talk to you. I'm going to be completely honest with you, Harper. This is hard on me.”
“Hard on you?” Harper asked, outraged and lost for words.
“Yes. It's hard on me to admit that I have feelings for you. Feelings I'm not used to having and don't know how to handle. It's messing me up. It's messing up my sleep, it's messing up practice and it's messing up my head. I can't think of anything else. I can't focus. I can't even pay attention and get my mind off of you when I'm on the field.”
He leaned back and ran both of his strong hands through his thick hair.
Harper didn't know what to say to him.
“Coach Reynolds kicked me out of practice this afternoon. Told me to go clear my head and do what I needed to do to get myself back together,” Beau looked at her. “I needed to come talk to you.”
Apparently the cause of his distraction wasn't the hot blonde... she hadn't even given it a thought that it would have been her fault
that he was missing all of his shots and zoned out on the field.
She didn't think he had even really cared that she had broken it off.
Harper assumed he would just shrug it off and find someone else.
But could she believe what he was telling her?
What if he wasn't telling her the truth and he just wanted to get back into bed with her?
What if she had messed up the whole thing by blowing up on him?
Was he actually seeing someone else?
Could she ever be alright with the way that every female alive wanted him and actively attempted to live out that desire?
Harper's head was spinning.
“I don't understand you,” she said, breaking the silence that had settled over them.
“To be honest, I'm not sure I understand myself sometimes either,” Beau admitted. “But I know that there is one thing that makes complete sense to me.”
“What is that?” Harper looked into his eyes searching for the truth.
“That I've fallen for you and I need you in my life,” Beau took her hands in his and searched her face for forgiveness and understanding.
He wanted to see the way those words touched her.
Beau hoped they would.
Harper's heart was beating so quickly and so hard that she could feel it in every part throughout her body.
“But what about that woman that I saw you with in the office?” Harper needed to know what was going on and what was between them.
She had to know.
One way or the other, good or bad, she needed to know what was going on with him and if he was telling her the truth.
“She's married and her eight year old is a fan. She wanted to know if I could come make an appearance at his birthday party on Thursday,” Beau explained. “I would have told you all about it if you would have let me.”
His face was hollow and the sadness in his voice told her that he had missed her as much as she had missed him.
