by Ezra E Manes
“But it’s good to have these feelings aired between you and me,” Gloria said softly.
They continued holding each other while talking through the situation. Then Gloria reminded him that the others were waiting to hear the results of his encounter and shouldn’t be kept waiting any longer.
Carlos summarized for the team his short meeting with Ceripe on the issues Sharon had surfaced, trying to leave out the emotion of the meeting. No doubt they could see how disturbed he was, but they did their best to reassure him that everything would work out in the long term.
Then, surprisingly, Karen and Samuel made the case that the issues did not mean they should make any drastic changes in the way they dealt with the Zilans at all. Carlos tried to follow their logic but was too upset to garner much from their discussion.
He finally thanked everyone for their support and indicated they would meet again before contacting Earth about the issues. He left the room, and Gloria followed close behind.
“What now?” she asked tentatively. She was clearly still quite worried about his erratic behavior.
“I’m going to the park to think through the issues.” This had become a routine for him when he needed to spend time alone, as she was aware.
“I’ll come along to be with you shortly,” she said.
He simply nodded and turned to walk to the nearby park, already thinking back over his encounter with Ceripe. He had come on too strong, no question about it. But this was the most upsetting situation he had encountered so far on Zilia. Trust was very important to him, and he felt betrayed. This had triggered his brash reaction, but he should have controlled his emotions better. Perhaps his own sterile condition had indeed made him overly sensitive. The thought of not being able to have children conjured up a feeling of emptiness, a void that grew and threatened his rationality.
Even though the team had little hope of returning to the Messier Colony, they definitely could not leave Zilia without first knowing if they were carrying whatever was causing the infertility. Unresolved, this problem would keep others from coming to Zilia. They couldn’t risk exposing those back in the colony to whatever caused the infertility.
Another aggravating factor was his personal relationship with Ceripe. He had done his best to keep the relationship on a professional basis since Harvest Day, but there was no denying he liked her very much, even admired her, and she apparently felt the same way about him. As their friendship grew, they had come close to crossing the line between friendship and something much more personal. This realization did little to help settle his internal conflict.
What a complex state of mind I’ve worked myself into, he thought. No wonder I’ve started having bad dreams again.
The eerie call of a chuck-wall-willow pierced his gloom, and the surrounding park snapped back into focus, the ground under his feet offering welcome solace in its solidity. Here he was, walking in a beautiful park he did not know existed before discovering Zilia.
He let the park pull his thoughts away from events of the day. The park was as he imagined one might be on Earth from stories he’d read about the home world where wind, rain, and other complex weather changes still flowed to enrich the land naturally. He walked the shrub-lined path, listening to birds singing, feeling the warm breeze, and smelling fragrant flowers nearby. A dust devil swirled across the face of a distant, barren hillside to the south. It was comforting here and usually calmed his thoughts.
However, this was not Earth or the planet Hope. It was one of the farthest places from Earth any human had ever gone, and this weighed heavily now. He desperately needed to find calmness and rational thought. This dilemma would be very tough to resolve, considering the range of his emotions. He let his senses drink in the natural beauty of the park, trying to relax.
Laughter wafting across the park caught his attention. A small group of women was close by. A group of Zilans was invariably nearby when he or any of his team moved about on Zilia. They stayed their distance but were always there. Were they discretely watching him, or was some other motive in play? Considering the apparent actions to prevent discovery of the infertility issue, it was no surprise they were watching him now.
Carlos wondered what else the Zilans might be hiding. He sat down on a comfortable bench near the semiarid land stretching south to the horizon. Right before nightfall was the best time to relax and meditate in the park, and the sun had dropped below the western horizon as he entered the park. First moonrise would occur immediately after dusk, with the inner moon rising almost full, followed within two hours by the outer moon, itself looking to be in the full-moon phase.
A significant partial moon eclipse would occur in the week ahead, with the inner moon blocking more than three-fourths of the outer moon’s surface as seen from Zilerip. In the lunar cycle after that, the Primary Two-Moon full eclipse would occur.
The park became quiet as the group of women moved farther away, and the park birds hushed their songs as nightfall deepened. Only two chuck-wall-willows called out soulfully to one another. The scene was beautiful and calming, and he thought about the wonderful adventure that had started at the Messier Colony those many years before. It had been an enlightening ride, one he would take again without hesitation, even knowing he would face this latest crisis.
Carlos turned from his mental reflections and watched the inner moon rise slowly from the eastern horizon to lighten the darkened sky. Meteor impact craters and shadows from high mountain peaks marked its surface. The various night insects and other creatures added their calls to those of the two chuck-walls, filling the air with a rising cacophony of sounds that were soothing in their disharmony.
As the moon rose higher, Gloria joined him on the park bench. She often came out to relax with him, and it was more important tonight than ever. She sat close and remained quiet as they waited patiently for the outer moon to rise from the eastern horizon.
Carlos noticed that the small group of women departed as soon as Gloria arrived and snuggled in close. As the outer moon peeked over the horizon, Gloria’s hand gripped his more tightly, and he knew she was feeling the same sense of awe he was as the two moons continued their trek higher.
“And to think,” Gloria finally said, “the mission to Zilia came close to being scrubbed at several junctures.”
Carlos squeezed her hand to convey understanding. But her comment reminded him of another deception: that of Earth and the Messier Colony in changing his neural implant capabilities without his knowledge. There was certainly more in play on this mission than he had bargained for.
His thoughts finally settled enough for him to focus more objectively on the issues they faced. If he set aside personal emotions, and he must, the issues boiled down to two principal concerns. First, how should he address the male infertility problem and the related decrease in the population, coupled with the apparent bias against families that could not produce children? And second, how he could regain confidence and trust in Zilan relationships, and in particular with Ceripe, when they had gone to such great lengths to keep the information hidden?
Carlos stirred from his reverie. “We should notify Earth of the issues discovered today and provide our recommendations. The only problem is, I don’t know what we should recommend. Perhaps we should go meet with the others to decide this.” He started to rise from the bench.
“Let’s talk a bit before we engage the group,” Gloria suggested, tugging at his arm.
He looked at her concerned face bathed in the pale glow of moonlight, and sat down.
“You were very distracted in our team discussion this evening,” she said. “Did you really understand the position presented by Karen and Samuel? I know you heard them, but were you concentrating on the message they were presenting?”
“What I heard was that we should ignore these issues and proceed with the technology exchange agreement. But in light of the Zilans’ deceit, I’m concerned with what they might do with the technology.”
“Their m
essage was a little more than that,” Gloria said in a neutral voice, trying not to cause him to withdraw. Yes, she had come to understand him very well. “They made the case that individuals tend to react this way in controlling the release of information that could be damaging to the relationship at hand,” Gloria said. “In such situations, individuals release information at a time and with a spin to minimize the negative impact. This is also true with society as a whole. They see what the Zilans have done as natural and nothing that should inhibit continuation of our plans here.”
“You don’t understand,” Carlos said firmly. “With me it’s a matter of trust. If they don’t deal with us openly and honestly now, then how can we be sure their true intentions will be beneficial for us in the future?”
“We can’t, but as Karen and Samuel pointed out, neither can we control what the Zilans will do with the knowledge anyway. So why should these issues be barriers to continued cooperation? Our counterparts clearly feel bad about keeping this information from us. Let’s be gracious while expressing strong concern about information being kept from us, and gain whatever future leverage we can from the experience.”
Carlos slowly relaxed, and then embraced her. “You always find a way to lift me out of my doldrums and make me look at things from different perspectives. Karen and Samuel are right, of course. It’s just that this shook my confidence that the Zilans were dealing with us honestly.”
They sat in silence with arms linked until the outer moon rose well above the horizon. They then rose and headed back to the embassy compound. It was time to forthrightly address the issues and get on with expanding relationships with the Zilans.
THIRTEEN
UNDERSTANDING
Carlos and Gloria were surprised when Karen met them at the entryway to the main embassy building. “Carlos, Ceripe is waiting for you in your office and has been there from right after Gloria left to join you. She wouldn’t let us disturb you but insisted on staying until you came back. She is a little distraught, to say the least.”
“Go ahead and meet with her,” Gloria said. “We should wait until tomorrow to discuss our next communication with Earth. I’ll be in our quarters.”
Carlos nodded agreement. “Karen, please tell the others to call it a night.”
He headed to his office to face Ceripe.
Ceripe rose from the small settee and approached him slowly as he entered the office. She looked closely at his face, trying to discern his frame of mind.
He was startled when she continued on to bury her head against his shoulder and wrap him in a firm hug. He returned the embrace without hesitation, and they stood silently for several minutes. He could feel her ragged breathing as she fought against breaking down and crying.
She soon calmed down and took a step back, hands on his arms.
“Carlos, please do not let my emotional reactions today alienate you. I was so startled this afternoon that I did not know how to react. I conducted myself poorly in our meeting.”
She had conducted herself poorly; what about the way he had conducted himself? He started to say as much, but she put her fingers on his lips.
“I had to see you and set things straight before going home. The longer I waited, the more I thought about my feelings for you. It was the first time I truly faced how fond I am of you.”
She paused, and then added, “My actions have surely given my feelings away. I sense you have come to like me very much as well.” She sought eye contact with a questioning look.
“Yes, I have,” he replied cautiously, “but there are several reasons why I must not carry this beyond becoming a good friend.”
Ceripe laughed pleasantly, relaxing somewhat. “I understand. You and Gloria have a wonderful relationship. However, I needed to tell you my feelings tonight.”
He nodded numbly, unsure where the discussion was going.
“That aside, can we reset ourselves to address the issues anew and agree neither one will take offense at what the other asks or says? If we can, Carlos, I think we will find common ground to proceed and still be very good friends.”
It was his turn to laugh, though Ceripe would not appreciate why if she knew. This was the second time tonight a woman he cared about had defused his anxieties. “Ceripe, I was totally out of line earlier today, and I apologize. I am still concerned about the way your people kept the male infertility and declining population information from us. But I now understand this was normal for you and your people to do so. We can only go forward from here and try to minimize the impact the issues may have on our relationship. I am committed to working through this to a positive conclusion.”
“Good, and I am committed as well,” she said. “Could we meet tomorrow to address questions about the issues?”
“Yes. In fact, we are ready to recommend to Earth expanding relations with your people.”
There was an awkward silence as Ceripe started to leave. She turned and looked intently at him again.
“In our society it would be appropriate for us to consider a close personal relationship at this point,” Ceripe mused aloud. “However, I respect the monogamous approach to relationships that you practice. I will try to not embarrass you or do anything to damage your relationship with Gloria. But since I have crossed that line already tonight, I want one more thing before I mold myself back into being Counselor Largena and simply your very good friend.”
With that said, she embraced him tenderly, and this time engaged him in a deep, passionate kiss, which he enjoyed too much. Then he thought of Gloria and started to tense up and pull back. Sensing this, she withdrew slightly, still holding him, and looked into his eyes, trying to gauge his feelings. She then turned and departed without another word. He watched with confused feelings as she walked out the door.
He went to his and Gloria’s private quarters and found her already asleep. It had been a long and trying day, so he took a hot bath to relax before going to bed. He didn’t tarry long, for he needed sleep before facing the next day.
As he sat down on the edge of the bed, Gloria stirred and asked, “Is everything all right?”
“No, but it will be. We’ll see to that.” He came to bed and cuddled her, and drifted off to sleep holding her.
Ceripe rose to greet Carlos warmly when Serintha ushered him into her office the next morning. They sat down across from one another at the small office table. He was glad that she did not mention the previous night.
“Let me address the male infertility problem first,” she said.
She explained that a priest had discovered the problem approximately 235 years earlier. He had noticed that some families in his region were unable to produce children. By that time in history, most families included two wives, as encouraged by religious leaders to counter the growing imbalance in the number of females to males, and the overall decrease in population. What attracted the priest’s interest were several two-wife family units that had not produced children and in which the husband had subsequently died. In almost every case, the wives married other men who had fathered children, and soon these unions produced children.
This prompted thorough monitoring and analysis of birth rates by the priest, which confirmed the decline of fertility in men. He found several family units in which no children were born. He reported his findings to his superiors, who had similar investigations conducted in other regions. The results were the same. After considerable deliberation and further investigations over several years, this resulted in yet another practical change in marriage doctrine but no solution to the infertility problem.
Men who proved to be fertile were encouraged to marry again, and those proving fertile with the second wife were encouraged to marry a third. The government established a structured program to monitor global birthrates and to encourage multiple-wife marriages accordingly. Ceripe explained that Zilans practiced no birth control other than abstinence, and the three-wife families produced very large families. However, early in the current century, the number o
f large families also declined, which indicated male infertility was worsening. And the male infertility was pervasive globally.
They intensified research into possible causes and could find no infectious agent that would cause the problem. They suspected something in the global environment, probably in the atmosphere, was causing the infertility but could not determine what it was. The research did reveal that women were immune to whatever caused the infertility in men.
“I recognize our research is being impeded by our religious beliefs,” Ceripe said, “which causes us to sanctify the body. This results in considerable inhibitions in our doctors and scientists with respect to performing effective examinations of internal organs, whether the individual is living or dead. I believe your people can be of great help to us in this area.
“As to your team being affected, I cannot say with certainty. We believe your female counterparts are immune to whatever is causing the problem, as ours are. We believe your team has taken steps to preclude having children, so at least there will be no near-term impact within the team. It is against our very nature to probe into such matters. That is why we delayed bringing the issues of male infertility and declining population to your attention.”
Ceripe paused to catch her breath, and then asked diplomatically, “Does this sufficiently clarify the issues you are most concerned about?”
“Yes, and I am greatly relieved,” he replied. Then without thinking, he added, “But then, I was much less concerned after your visit to our embassy last night.”
She blushed for a moment but recovered quickly. “Carlos, I want us to have a very open and honest relationship, and I believe we can truly have that now.”
“As do I.”
“In keeping with this, we will provide your team access to expanded archive data using our private terminals at the library. It was a disservice to restrict you to the public terminals. We thought it would be more informative for you to mingle with our general population.
