But she was too slow! he thought. There was no way she could fight the Greedle in her trance, much less tackle the bogeys. All the Greedle had to do was call over one of the Zurms, and they’d have her. Yesterday might be able to walk through the Hypnopuses control, but she’d be trapped in the Zurms’ strawberry jam.
Then Yesterday would die.
How could anyone be as brave as that? Be able to control her body even as she faced death? And all to try and save her friends … Already Yesterday’s lips were turning blue. Her fingers were white. But she kept on going.
And suddenly Boo realised where she was going. She wasn’t trying to attack the Greedle at all! She was heading into the wormhole.
The Greedle stared as Yesterday moved past it, without even an attempt to Wham! Bam! it.
‘You see,’ whispered Yesterday. Every word seemed torn from her body. ‘I am going for help.’
‘But there is no help!’ screamed the Greedle.
‘Yes there is! Mr Hogg is at a Warrior Pig Conference. I’m going to get him — and his friends. A whole conference of Warrior Pigs! We’ll be back! We might even find some student Heroes on their way to the school.’
‘Zurms! Dig! Dig now!’ The worms vanished down into solid rock in a hundred directions. ‘The school will be in ruins by the time you get here!’ shrieked the Greedle. Even as it spoke the ground began to shatter. A boulder bounced down the cliff, and then another …
Yesterday hesitated at the mouth of the wormhole.
Boo gazed desperately at Yesterday, at Mug, at the frozen Princess Princess. A few seconds more, he thought, and I’ll be bounced down into the lava. You’ll be the last thing that I see. My friends …
The mountain shuddered again. The whole peak began to topple down, just as the ledge below them cracked.
Something moved. Something white and wriggling. It zoomed from Mug’s pocket and began to swirl through the air. Faster, faster … suddenly the loops began to wind around the cliffs and boulders, round and round and round, like giant white rubber bands holding everything in place.
Zombie spaghetti, thought Boo in wonder. Mug’s overnight snack! He must have brought it with him. Even though Mug was trapped in strawberry jam, his zombie spaghetti was tying up the school, saving it from disintegration.
‘Heroic pigs!’ shrieked the Greedle again, too furious even to rhyme. ‘I’ll show you Warrior Pigs! What chance have they got against my Hypnopuses and my Zurms!’ He turned to his remaining bogeys. ‘Come on!’ he screamed. ‘The strawberry-jammed heroes here are going to starve anyway! We have to get the girl — and the pigs! The rest of the brats will arrive just in time for the main collapse. Then I’ll be free! Free to have every yummy in the universes all to myself!’ The Greedle dashed after Yesterday as she vanished into the blackness of the wormhole.
The Zurms oozed back through the rock to join the Hypnopuses. They all began to follow their master into the wormhole, loping, snaking, sliming, lurching.
Boo had a sudden vision of what Yesterday must look like, a lone thin girl with bare feet and a tatty tunic, stumbling in her trance down the wormhole, while the Greedle and the bogeys of hell followed her.
Would she get to Mr Hogg and his Warrior Pig Conference in time to warn them? Who could run faster, Yesterday on her bare feet or the Greedle and his bogeys?
Then suddenly he realised.
Yesterday couldn’t be going to Mr Hogg’s Warrior Pig Conference. The wormhole would take her back to her own universe!
And she was taking the Greedle with her.
He couldn’t let her face the Greedle all alone! He had to help her! He had to break free! There was no room to worry about himself any more. There was no room for worry at all. Just a determination to save his friend.
It was as though the hopes of a million universes met in his body. We need a Hero, they cried. And suddenly he was that Hero. He heard a growl, deep in his throat.
All at once he found he could move.
Mug and Princess Princess were still jammed. But there was nothing he could do for them now, he thought frantically, or the jammed-up Heroes up at Rest in Pieces.
Suddenly he remembered the bottle in his pouch. He could help them! He could find a bucket, fill it with water, add drops of rat essence, throw it over Mug and Princess …
… and by then the Greedle and its bogeys would have destroyed Yesterday.
How could he choose? he thought desperately. Or maybe …
Almost before he had time to think, he shook the pouch off over his head and nosed out the bottle of rat essence. He grabbed it with his teeth and lifted it up, then threw it as hard as he could down into the bubbling volcano.
Suddenly the smoke was filled with the scent of dead rat.
Would the rat-filled smoke be enough to dissolve the jam? He couldn’t stop to find out! He could only hope, just as he could only hope the zombie spaghetti would keep holding the school and the mountain together.
Boo growled again as he raced down the tunnel. Was he close enough behind Yesterday to be drawn into her universe too? Or had he lost them in those few seconds when he stopped to throw the rat essence? Would he find himself under the bed at the ice-cream shop?
For a few seconds he thought he was too late. Then all at once he saw them — the Greedle, running in a weird and horrible shuffle, with Yesterday pounding ahead. She seemed to have escaped the Hypnopuses’ power as soon as she got into the tunnel, thought Boo. Behind them the bogeys raced to catch up — the Hypnopuses in a nasty sort of eight-legged dance, and the Zurms, still spreading a thin trail of strawberry jam.
Boo growled again.
The Greedle glanced back at him. ‘Oh no, you don’t,’ it called.
You can’t!
You won’t!
No more widdling, little Hero!
Just take this,
And you’ll be zero!
Something flashed from the Greedle’s hand. Boo glanced down to where it had landed. It was a small, fanged cockroach. The Roach bit deep into his paw, and kept on biting.
Boo yelped. He shook the cockroach off, but the agony remained. It wasn’t just pain. It was sharper, deeper and more horrible than anything he’d ever felt. He rolled on the ground, trying to control his body, then forced himself up onto his paws again. Only three paws worked now. Well, three would have to be enough.
Blood dripped onto the tunnel floor as he limped forwards again, avoiding the deadly stickiness of the jam.
It was almost impossible to balance. Even harder to hobble forwards with three legs. But he could do it. He could do anything! Ignore the pain. Ignore everything but Yesterday and the monsters that pursued her. He was nearly there!
Could he manage to leap over the bogeys and snap the Greedle in his jaws? Impossible even with all four paws. But he was going to try!
Boo leapt, his teeth bared, just as the Greedle and Yesterday rose up and through the wormhole. A second later the floor rose again, taking the other bogeys with it.
His jaws met nothingness.
27
The Dinosaurs of Yesterday
Suddenly he began to rise as well. In a few seconds he’d be … where? Sleepy Whiskers or … What was Yesterday’s world? What universe had she taken the Greedle into?
The world changed. Dirt beneath his fur. A smell of …
Boo blinked and wrinkled his nose. The stink filled his nostrils. A smell of burning! Were they back at school? But this wasn’t the smell of a volcano. This was like the smell of a road on a hot day, as the tar melted under your paws.
He scrambled out from under the bed and peered around. But it wasn’t a bed, he realised. It was just a sheet of ragged leather stretched between four rocks.
What was this place?
He was in a hut, as small as a cupboard back home, made of roughly piled rocks. Above him a sheet of leather was stretched over the walls to make a roof. There was a large rock for a table, a small rock for a chair, and that was all. The door was just an
opening in one wall.
There was no sign of Yesterday, the Greedle, or the bogeys.
Boo staggered out the door, then stopped, his teeth bared. This couldn’t be Yesterday’s world! Not this!
This world was rock. Flat rock and blue sky, unchanging as far as he could see, bordered only by the horizon, a thin line between the grey and the blue. Only two things broke the monotony — the stone hut, and the small lake below it, bubbling silver and smelling of salt and sourness.
It was like a page from a history book. A prehistoric world, before grass, before trees, even before seas or mountains or volcanoes, when the world was rock and tar … The ground shivered under his paws. For a moment he thought it was the Zurms, digging again, then realised it was the earth itself.
How could Yesterday live in a world like this?! But there was no time to think about that now. He gazed around frantically. Where were they all? And then he saw them.
Four of the octopus bogeys held Yesterday by her arms and legs. One had wrapped two of its tentacles around her throat. The Zurms stood ready to spread their jam if needed. The Greedle stood in the middle of them all, smiling gently.
Welcome, little wolf!
I have to say
This wasn’t the way
I hoped we’d meet again today.
But now you’re here,
My puppy dear,
We can begin to play!
‘Let go of her,’ growled Boo, then realised how dumb he sounded. Why would the Greedle bother to let Yesterday go now?
The Greedle rubbed its hands together.
Let’s play a game!
You be tame
A wolf to make my ice cream.
And in return
You get to learn —
‘Stop it!’ howled Boo. He showed his fangs. ‘Let her go, or I’ll go for your throat.’
Oh! Now, now! gloated the Greedle.
That isn’t how
A mannered pup behaves.
‘I’ll give you to the count of three,’ growled Boo. ‘And then I’m coming for you.’
You’ll have to bite
With all your might,
To get through all my slaves!
‘Then I will,’ interrupted Boo. ‘I’ll Wham! Bam! Pow! every one of your bogeys. Then I’ll bite you.’
No wolf’s won wars
With just three paws, said the Greedle calmly. Its plans might have gone astray, but at least it seemed to be enjoying its poems too much to focus on killing its captives — yet.
‘Boo.’ It was Yesterday’s voice. She’d woken from her trance, Boo realised. This was her real voice — weak, but awake. ‘Boo, go back into the wormhole. Now!’
‘No!’ he yelled. ‘Not without you!’
‘Boo, please! You have to listen! Go back to the school,’ Her voice was just a gasp, so he had to strain to hear it. ‘You have to save yourself! Ahhh!’ Yesterday screamed as the bogey octopuses pulled at her arms and legs.
‘One,’ said Boo.
‘Boo, please … please just go! I’ll be all ri—’
‘Two.’
‘Boo —’
‘Three!’ Boo leapt.
The world was a muddle of arms and fangs, tentacles, strawberry jam and pain. Underneath it all was the laughter of the Greedle and the smell of tar and ancient rock.
‘Kill h—’ began the Greedle. Was it going to say Kill ‘her’? Or ‘him’? But before it could finish, the Greedle began to choke.
‘Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!’
It was the mouse! Boo had forgotten that the tiny animal had still been on his back. He must have clung to his fur all the way down the wormhole. And now, by the sound of it, Squeak had jumped down the Greedle’s throat.
You stupid mouse! thought Boo, as his claws ripped at a monstrous face, and his jaws bit through one tentacle, then another. A mouse can’t attack the Greedle!
‘Squeak!’ The sound was muffled but determined.
Something changed. The Hypnopuses and Zurms still tore at him. But suddenly they seemed … distracted. A distant thudding sound grew louder. It wasn’t an earthquake or tunnelling bogeys. It was …
The tangle of bogeys around him began to shriek. The world was suddenly black with blood and scraps of skin and feathers. This is it, thought Boo. This is the end …
‘Yesterday! Squeak!’ He tried to yell to them — not to call for help, or to apologise for not helping them. But because he didn’t want to die alone. Didn’t want them to die alone. If you have to die, he thought, it’s best to die a Hero, doing what you have to do. And it’s better to die with your friends around you.
Though living, he thought, would be a heck of a lot better …
Suddenly he realised that nothing was trying to bite him, strangle him, rip him apart, smother him with jam or behead him. Instead, the bogeys were dark dead-weights on top of him, piled so high he couldn’t see the sky or light.
A dead weight. Dead.
Until they began to move again …
Boo struggled up out of the quivering pile of Hypnopuses and Zurm corpses — and stared.
Creatures — all enormous, with small heads and leathery wings, with fangs that gleamed, and shrieks that tore the world — pulled at the mass of bogeys around him, stuffing bits of tentacle or leathery foot into their mouths. For a moment he thought the Greedle had called up reinforcements from the Ghastly Otherwhen.
Then he saw the Greedle was gone. There was only him, a small bloody puppy among the slaughter, and Yesterday, lying breathless on the rock.
‘Yesterday!’ He limped over to her, and licked her face. ‘Yesterday, are you all right?’
Behind him the ripping, squelching and gulping sounds continued.
Yesterday struggled to sit up. ‘Yes,’ she gasped. ‘Boo, what about you?’
‘I’m fine,’ he said, though he wasn’t. His leg was a thread of fire, one ear felt like it had been torn off, and his fangs felt like they’d been tugged by a dozen giant octopuses. Come to think of it, he thought, they had.
The mouse! Where was he?
‘Squeak!’ cried Boo. Perhaps, he thought desperately, the little mouse had survived, just as he had. ‘Where are you?’
‘Squeak?’ The mouse peered out of a pile of bloodstained bones. It looked scared, and its whiskers were bent, but it was otherwise unhurt. It jumped up onto Boo’s shoulder and grasped Boo’s fur as though it would never let it go.
Yesterday stared in horror at the pile of bogeys. Suddenly she began to cry. ‘It isn’t fair,’ she sobbed.
‘No! They should never have attacked you —’
‘I don’t mean that! The Zurms and the Hypnopuses didn’t start out being evil. They were taken over by the Greedle. Maybe they were happy on their own worlds! Maybe I could have convinced them to change — just like I convinced the Rabbits. But now they’re dead! And it’s all my fault!’
Boo stared at her. He wanted to lick the tears off her cheeks, but was afraid she might scream yuck.
‘It’s not your fault,’ he began.
‘Yes it is! I brought the bogeys here!’
‘You didn’t make them evil! The Greedle did that! You just did what you could to save us all!’ He shivered. ‘Come on, we have to go, before those creatures get us too.’
‘They won’t,’ said Yesterday.
‘You can’t be sure of that! Come on!’
‘They won’t,’ said Yesterday. ‘Because they’re mine.’
That was when the school minibus arrived.
28
Yesterday’s Secret
The bus exploded through the hut doors, widening them considerably. Rocks sprayed out either side.
The bus doors flashed open. Dr Mussells swung by his tail from the doorway, his white teeth bared in a grimace of rage, a banana in both hands.
Dahlia the Dazzler and Gloria the Gorgeous burst out beneath him, arm in arm. Gloria wore a pink feather boa around her neck, her knitting raised ready to strike, her face calm, he
r eyes alight with the joy of battle. Boo blinked. Suddenly the two ancient Heroes were dazzling: so bright they hurt his eyes.
Ms Snott leapt out next, a vision in turquoise lycra, a dozen daggers in her fists and mouth, then Mrs Kerfuffle, wielding The Atlas of all the Universes, the biggest, most heroic book in the library. Jones the Janitor followed with his screwdrivers, then Ms Punch, wafting above them all, and Mug, waving more of his zombie spaghetti around his head like a lasso.
A mass of ancient Heroes scrambled out behind him, in a tangle of wheelchairs, walking frames, wooden legs and hearing aids.
‘Let me at ’em!’
‘No pushing at the back!’
‘Last one to get a bogey is a tentacle muffin!’
‘Boo!’ rumbled Mug. ‘Is you all rights? Yesterday? Squeak?’
‘Squeak!’ yelled the mouse, still clinging to Boo’s fur.
Boo tried to speak, but no words came. Pain, exhaustion and horror washed through him, draining him almost as thoroughly as if the Greedle had sucked him dry. He tried again.
‘I’m all right.’ The words were almost a whimper. ‘I’m all right,’ he said more loudly.
‘The Greedle!’ yelled Dr Mussells. ‘Where is it?’
Boo pointed. The creatures were still a swirl of fangs and claws and leather. Now and then one shrieked in triumph, then bent again to its meal. On the ground at their feet were a few white scraps and a faint stain that may have once been the Greedle.
‘What in all the universes are those?’ Dr Mussells stared at the monsters, his bananas still ready to strike.
Yesterday forced herself to her feet. ‘They’re mine,’ she said softly.
‘But, girl —’
Yesterday clicked her fingers. The creatures looked up from the remnants of the bogeys.
‘Greeed Kneet!’ crooned Yesterday softly. One by one the monsters rose. A couple fluttered above Yesterday on their leathery wings. One giant with spines along its back stepped tenderly towards her, and sniffed, as though checking she was all right.
Lessons for a Werewolf Warrior Page 19
