‘Simon?’
Kate’s hand on his arm hauled him back. She hitched her head upwards. ‘Would you like to join me?’
‘Yes.’ Absolutely and utterly.
‘Now, there was something you wanted to talk to me about?’
They were seated on the upper deck—alone—and all around him the bay gleamed and sparkled. Did the sun ever stop shining here? The blonde of her hair gleamed and the blue of her eyes sparkled. She looked as right here as the beaches and the dolphins and the gum trees that grew right to the water’s edge in some places.
This was her home.
And what he wanted from her…
He couldn’t just blurt it out. Not here. Not like this. Not at the beginning of her working day. What the hell was he thinking?
No, he had to do this right.
‘Kate?’ Pete’s head appeared at the top of the stairs. ‘Can we fit a group of fifteen senior citizens on the second tour?’
Kate glanced at her clipboard, ran a finger down the page and nodded. ‘Yes, but make sure you still get a name and contact number.’
Pete waved and disappeared.
‘That lot’ll keep you busy with tea and coffee, let me tell you.’ Then she blinked and her cheeks turned pink. ‘I mean, if you’re hanging around that long, that is.’ She buried her nose in her paper cup and refused to look at him.
A grin burst through him. And hope. ‘I’m hanging around all day.’
She met his gaze then, giving him one of those smiles he’d pay a million pounds for. ‘So? What did you want to talk to me about?’
He couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her temple. She smelt of fresh cotton and coconut-scented sunscreen. He pulled back before he could nibble her ear, her neck…her lips. ‘I think it can wait till later.’
He would do this right.
‘If you’re sure…’
He was sure. He wasn’t going to risk interruptions. When he asked Kate to marry him, he wanted her full attention.
CHAPTER NINE
SIMON spent the day helping out behind the bar, making tea and coffee and watching Kate. Her enthusiasm and passion for her job, for the dolphins, for the conservation of the bay, fascinated him.
Who was he trying to kid? Everything about her fascinated him.
And it appeared he wasn’t the only one. She had a natural warmth that drew people to her. On each of the day’s three tours the passengers on the upper deck gathered around her, firing questions at her, and she answered them with an ease born both of practice and a natural intelligence.
He listened and watched and his admiration grew. She wasn’t just good at her job. She was brilliant. He could see her at Holm House, taking groups of visitors around and revealing historical titbits about the house, charming everyone with her smile and zest.
Hope powered through him. He tried to stamp down on his rising tide of impatience and when he turned to look at her he found it wasn’t that hard. No day spent in the sun with Kate could be deemed wasted. No day in the rain either, for that matter. But it didn’t stop him from aching for that afternoon walk along the foreshore when the shadows would start to lengthen and the breeze would drop…and they’d be alone.
‘Did you enjoy the day?’ Kate let Simon take her hand and help her from the boat and down to the pier. She shouldn’t need help, but talking to Simon and looking at him, at the same time as walking…well, that just seemed beyond her today.
He smiled that holiday-maker smile—the one that made her want to do back flips. The smile that made her believe, contrary to all evidence otherwise, that she could walk on her hands.
‘I had a great day.’
If anything, the intensity of his smile increased. Her tongue refused to trip off a single word in response. She feared if she opened her mouth now all that would emerge would be half-strangled words and drool. Such a bad look. She forced her eyes to the front and concentrated on placing one foot in front of the other. She stumbled when he took her hand.
‘Steady.’
His voice sounded close by her ear and his breath brushed tendrils of her hair against her neck and cheek. What on earth…? She couldn’t look at him, she couldn’t talk, but she didn’t pull her hand away. She did all she could to remain upright.
An ache stretched through her. All day Simon had laughed and joked—with her, with Pete and Lionel, with the passengers. Yet it had felt as if each and every smile had been for her alone. He’d gone and done that stupid thing and made her feel like a princess.
And she knew where thinking like that would get her.
Unless…
Simon had been in the oddest mood all day—a strange mixture of contentment and excitement. Hope arrowed straight to her heart, lifting her. What if he’d found some way to stay here in Nelson’s Bay?
No, no. She kept placing one foot in front of the other. He’d told her he was tied to England for at least ten years. Her steps faltered. She tried to shake the notion away, but her hope wouldn’t budge.
What if he’d found a solution?
Kate slammed to a halt and swung to him. She had to ask. Now. But, as she opened her mouth, her mobile phone rang. With a grimace and a shrug, she flipped it open. ‘Hello?’
‘Where are you guys?’
Felice, she mouthed to Simon. ‘On our way home,’ she said to Felice.
Could it truly become Simon’s home too? She crossed her fingers, and her toes. In another three weeks his hair would be the perfect length for running her fingers through.
‘Have you passed the fish shop yet?’
She blinked, forced herself to glance about and take in her surroundings. ‘Not yet.’
‘What about prawns for dinner? I’ll toss a salad, slice some fruit and…’
‘Sounds wonderful. We’ll grab some prawns on our way past.’
‘Great! Can I speak to Simon?’
She handed him the phone. ‘Game of cricket?’ he said. ‘Sure.’ Then he handed the phone back to her with a twist of his lips. ‘They’re all in the park and they’re going to walk around to meet us.’
She stared at those twisted lips, sensed his disgruntlement, and her hope shrivelled. What had she been thinking? ‘You don’t have to play with them if you don’t want to.’ Nobody was demanding he take time out for Jesse. In fact, she’d told him to pull back, hadn’t she?
‘It’s not that.’ He took her hand again. ‘It’s just…it’s damn hard finding a moment alone with you. It could drive a man insane!’
Hope flailed back to life. ‘We’re alone now.’
‘Not for much longer.’ He pointed towards Dutchman’s Bay. She could make out the figures of Jesse, Danny and Felice moving slowly but inexorably along the path towards them. ‘And when I do finally get you alone, Kate Petherbridge, and say what I want to say, I want to make sure there won’t be any interruptions.’
His glance seared her, heating her blood in a microsecond.
‘And I want your full attention while I say it.’
She gulped and nodded. Oh, yes, he could be assured he’d have that.
How Kate made it through a rowdy game of beach cricket, the preparations for dinner and Danny and Felice’s endless chatter—and touching!—she’d never know.
Nobody seemed to notice her distraction, though. Except Simon. His cool grey eyes saw too much, but she sensed his impatience too, his excitement.
For one awful moment, when all the dishes were cleared and Jesse put to bed, she thought Felice and Danny meant to hang around, share another bottle of wine and talk until the wee small hours.
No. No. No.
Across the table, her gaze met Simon’s and suddenly she wanted to laugh. His lips twitched upwards too and all of her impatience eased from her. When the time was right, she and this man would talk.
And she had a feeling that this talk would be the most important of all her twenty-eight years, because one thing had become startlingly and amazingly clear. She loved Sim
on Morton-Blake with every atom of her being.
If he’d found a way to meet his obligations in England whilst staying here, she’d make sure he’d never regret it.
‘Goodnight.’ Simon’s blood pumped with resolve as he watched Danny and Felice disappear around the side of the house for their flat above the garage. Without further ado, he stood and made for the chair beside Kate.
Once he was seated, she slipped her hand inside his as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He understood because that was exactly what it felt like.
‘I love you.’
He hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that. He’d meant to build up to it. He hadn’t expected the words to slip out so easily, so naturally.
‘I know. I love you too.’
She spoke simply, like he had. Her delicious lips curved upwards and the tenderness in her smile humbled him. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms, but he knew it wouldn’t stop at one kiss, and there was still so much to say. He contented himself with a grin—a grin he knew must take over his whole face.
Her grin matched it. Moonlight glinted off her hair, stars danced in her eyes. ‘You are so beautiful.’ And she loved him. He wanted to jump up and down, sing and dance and laugh, but that would mean letting go of her hand and he wasn’t prepared to do that just yet.
‘I think you’re beautiful too.’
Her shy words caught at him, snagged at his chest, stealing his breath. He kissed her hand. ‘I never believed in love at first sight.’ What a fool he’d been. ‘And then I clapped eyes on you.’
She leaned towards him, her eyes wide. ‘Really?’
He grinned at the memory. ‘You turned around from your filing cabinet on that Friday, your eyes widened…and I fell into them. I haven’t stopped falling yet.’
‘It was the moment after for me.’ She reached out and touched the corner of his mouth. ‘When you smiled. Nothing has been the same since.’
He turned to face her more fully. ‘I was such a blockhead. With Jesse…’ Regret fired through him. ‘For so long I thought…But you changed all that.’ He couldn’t seem to complete a sentence, but her smile told him she followed his every thought without trouble.
Like she would for the rest of his life, he realised. This wonderful, remarkable woman was the other half of him. With her, he would never be alone again.
‘I love Jesse now. You know that, don’t you?’ He had to make sure she knew that, felt the rightness of it.
‘Yes.’
He reached out and cupped her face. She leant into it, her eyes filled with the same wonder that gripped him. She loved him. He wanted to shout it to the skies, only it would shatter the spell that surrounded them and he didn’t want anything to break that. Not yet. ‘You have given me such a gift,’ he murmured.
She smiled. ‘You’re not afraid of fatherhood any more?’
‘No. In fact, I am very much looking forward to learning all I can about fatherhood.’ Starting with making those babies with this woman. An image of her pregnant with his child rocked him. A fierce longing seized him. He wanted that with this woman. He wanted it all with this woman.
‘You’ll make a wonderful father, Simon.’
‘When you told me off yesterday—about messing with Jesse’s feelings…’
She shifted on her chair and opened her mouth, but he pressed a finger to her lips. They trembled beneath it and desire burst to life, low and insistent, in his gut, but he wouldn’t kiss her. Not yet. Things still needed to be said. ‘It was only then that I realised how much I loved Jesse. I wanted to protect him…and you. It was the moment I realised I could be a good father—to Jesse and to whoever else might come along.’
A gleam lit her eyes. ‘I would love to have your babies.’
Her voice came out low and husky. Possessiveness gripped him. ‘You and me, we belong together, Kate.’ She was his. And he was hers. ‘I love you.’ He gripped both her hands in his. ‘Come to England with me—you and Jesse. Build a new life with me there. For ever.’
For a moment her whole face glowed, but then the gleam in her eyes started to dim, the space between her eyes crinkled in adorable puzzlement. He wanted to kiss it away, soothe it.
‘But…’ She gulped. ‘But haven’t you found a way to stay here in Australia?’
Regret shifted through him. He was asking her to give up so much—her home, her family—but they would build a new home. He would do whatever he could to give her the home she dreamed of, a home she could love.
‘I can’t stay here, Kate. I have too many obligations in England. But everything I have is yours. And we can come back here for holidays and visits.’ He’d make sure they did that as often as possible.
She pulled her hands out of his. The crinkle between her eyes grew into a full-blown frown. ‘I thought…’
Then the light went out in her eyes completely and fear fired his heart.
‘I’m sorry, Simon. I can’t go to England with you.’
He shot back in his seat. No! She couldn’t mean that. She’d said she loved him.
She’d said she loved him!
‘We belong together!’ His words rang around the garden but he couldn’t hold them back. The desolation in her eyes matched his. He swallowed and tried another tack. ‘England isn’t that bad, Kate. I mean, the weather isn’t as good but…and I’m sure that between them Danny, Felice and Archie can keep The Merry Dolphin running, if you’re worried about that and—’
‘None of that matters!’ She slashed a hand through the air. ‘Merry Dolphin Tours can practically run itself, and I don’t care about the weather.’
She reached out as if to touch him, but pulled back at the last minute as if she didn’t trust herself. Her face twisted and he had to bite back an oath at her evident pain.
She gripped her hands together in her lap. ‘Jesse,’ she croaked out.
He wanted to fall down on his knees at her feet. ‘But I swear to you—’
‘It’s not that!’ Again she reached out towards him, and again she didn’t touch him. ‘I know you will make a great father. I don’t doubt that.’ Her eyes softened. ‘I don’t doubt you.’
‘Then what?’ he burst out. He leapt out of his chair and started to pace, trying to control the rage and pain that threatened to overtake him. Not rage at her, but at whatever it was that held her back, at himself for not making this easier for her.
She covered her eyes. Her hand trembled before she pulled it away again. He fell back into his chair and managed to stop himself from dragging her into his arms—just—from trying to ease her obvious distress. If he did, he had a feeling she would cry, and she was holding herself together so tightly he instinctively knew that she wouldn’t thank him for breaking that control.
‘Just because you’ve come to know Jesse, to love him, doesn’t mean you can replace his father. Simon, Jesse already has a dad. A good one.’
Paul! He reared back as if slapped.
‘And that dad lives here in Nelson’s Bay. It would not be fair to uproot Jesse if it means he loses his father. I…I couldn’t do that to Jesse or Paul. They adore each other,’ she finished on a whisper.
She was right.
Kate was one hundred per cent right. As always. The knowledge slammed into him, his newfound clarity sickened him, but he refused to look the other way. He’d become so caught up in his fantasy of him, her and Jesse together for ever that he hadn’t let reality intrude.
And that was all it was, all it had ever been—a fantasy. A rock settled in his chest where his heart had once been.
‘I’m sorry, Simon. So very, very sorry.’
So was he.
He roused himself. Took both her hands in his. ‘You have nothing to apologise for. You love your son. You want what is best for him. You are a good mother. It’s one of the things I love about you.’
‘Thank you.’
Her eyes shimmered. The pain in them tore at him. He should’ve let her be. Like he’d always meant to. But h
e couldn’t find it in his heart to regret loving her. She’d given him so much.
And yet he’d given her nothing in return. He’d never forgive himself for hurting her. A chill chased away all his former warmth, all his anticipation. Very slowly, he released her hands, easing himself away from her. ‘Goodnight, Kate.’
He rose and strode off into the dark. He left her garden and didn’t look back.
Kate watched Simon disappear into the shadows—his back stiff, his shoulders hunched, his strides long. She pressed the heel of her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob.
She would not cry. She would not.
But when she closed her eyes, all she could see was the devastation in Simon’s face.
‘Mum!’
Jesse? She half turned, but stopped herself in time. She didn’t want him to see the poor job she’d done at not crying. It would frighten him.
Small arms were flung around her neck. ‘Don’t cry, Mummy. Please don’t cry,’ he sobbed against her neck.
She gulped her sobs back and huddled him close, but she couldn’t stem the tears that coursed down her cheeks. She dragged him onto her lap and tucked his head beneath her chin so he couldn’t see them. ‘What’s up, chook?’
‘Simon is going away, isn’t he?’
‘He has to.’
‘But I don’t want him to. Not if it makes you sad.’
She raised her face to the sky and forced her eyes wide to stem the tears. She prayed the breeze would dry all traces of them from her cheeks. ‘Remember how I told you it’s okay to cry when you’re sad?’
He nodded.
‘Well, that goes for grown-ups too.’
‘I don’t want you to be sad,’ he whispered.
Of course he didn’t. He loved her with a completeness that sometimes awed her. Her heart might be breaking, but as she held him close she knew she’d done the right thing. She’d known the heartbreak of growing up without one of her parents. She would not let that be Jesse’s fate.
‘Well, now—’ she pursed her lips and forced the beginnings of a smile, adjusting him in her lap so he could see her face ‘—no one can be happy a hundred per cent of the time.’ She made herself grin. ‘So I’ll just have to settle for ninety-nine per cent of the time instead. And this has just been my itsy-bitsy one per cent.’
The Aristocrat and the Single Mom Page 15
