Worth Every Risk

by Laine, Terri E.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me, Fletch.”

  “But you asked Andi, right?”

  “Yep, but even if she doesn’t go, Violet will. I won’t be stopped. I can’t leave that kid behind.”

  “Will Andi come?”

  A rough chuckle leaves me. “I don’t know. We’re not exactly what you’d call best friends right now.”

  “Try to work it out. If not for the two of you, do it for Violet.”

  Changing the subject, I say, “I’m going to have Max check into how Andi could get a nursing license in Italy.”

  “Good idea,” Fletcher says. “Hey, I gotta run. Cassie is calling for me. Keep me in the know.”

  I’m punching in Max’s number when I decide to hang back. I’m not going to bring him into the mix until this is all a sure thing. I can hear him now, giving me shit about it. But I do call the charter service and charter a flight home to North Carolina for the day after tomorrow. Thank God the weather’s finally cleared and planes are flying again. Andi can take a couple of days off. She will explain to our families about our daughter, whether she wants to or not.

  After I take a badly needed shower, I dress and head down to the corner to pick up a six-pack of beer. Then I take a leisurely walk back to Andi’s, which is pretty crazy since it’s still freezing out. When I get there, her forehead is knotted with worry lines. It’s understandable because I’ve put a shit ton on her plate. Even though I’d like to feel sorry for her, I don’t. I’m generally not an asshole, but I’ll never get those two years back with Violet and it’s all because of Andi’s foolish actions.

  “Mind if I put this in the fridge?” I ask.

  “Go ahead.” I do and grab one. When I turn around, Andi is directly behind me, wringing her hands.

  “Are you okay?” I ask.

  “Violet has a fever. It’s not very high, but I tend to get a little overly concerned about this stuff. It comes with the occupation, I suppose.”

  “When did she get sick?”

  “When she woke up, she was a bit crabby, which is unlike her. That’s when I noticed.”

  Not being very familiar with this, I’m not sure what to say or do. I know I don’t want to look like a moron and have Andi hold it against me, so I say, “I suppose you gave her Tylenol already.”

  “Yes. She’s in her room lying down.”

  “I’ll check on her.”

  When I get to her room, I notice her eyes look slightly glassy. “Hey, Little One. What’s up?”

  “Hot.”

  I touch her forehead and she is warm. “Dada will kiss it and make it better, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I wish it were that easy, because I don’t like seeing this little girl sick. “Do you want Dada to read to you?”

  “Yeah.”

  She must feel like crap because usually this kid would be flying around the room with her feet on fire. I pick out a book and read it to her. When I’m finished, she asks for another. Her round cheeks have bright spots of pink on them, and her face is flushed. I guess that’s what kids usually look like when they’re feverish.

  “Violet, does your throat hurt?”

  “Throat hurt.”

  I wonder if she might have inflamed tonsils. I used to get that as a kid and had to have them removed. “How about watching a movie?”

  Her head bobs, but slow and not the usual quick motion. I pick her up and carry her into the living room. Then I cover her up after I lay her on the couch and put in a movie.

  I find Andi in the kitchen fixing dinner. “Andi, she said her throat hurts.”

  “How did you ask her?”

  “If her throat hurt.”

  “She probably just repeated you.”

  “You think this will pass?”

  “If it doesn’t, I’ll take her in to see the doctor tomorrow.”

  Leaning on the counter, I think about how to tell her this. I might as well just get it out. “I chartered us a flight to go to North Carolina.”

  The weather has cleared and I was able to get one.

  She stops stirring the pan of whatever it is she’s cooking. “You what?”

  “I chartered a flight for the day after tomorrow. We need to take care of this, Andi.”

  “What if Violet is sick?”

  “Then I’ll cancel it. When I made the reservation, I was unaware.”

  “I have—”

  “I know, work. But you have vacation days, I’m sure.”

  “Yes, but I have to get someone to fill in for me. It’s not that easy.”

  I take a swig of my beer, then walk over to check on Violet. Let Andi figure her shit out. We’re going and that’s that.

  “Dada.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Thirsty.”

  I head to the kitchen for a sippy cup, but Andi is ready for me, holding one in her hand. I nod my thanks.

  “Here you go.”

  Violet grabs the cup and slurps it greedily. The Tylenol must be kicking in because her cheeks don’t look quite as pink. I press the back of my hand against her forehead, like my mother used to do to me, and find it’s still warm.

  “Dada.” I look at Violet and the sippy cup is jabbed back in my hand.

  “More?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “Hungy.”

  That must be a good sign. “Okay. Mommy is making dinner now.”

  When I check back with Andi, I see she’s on the phone. I’m not sure who she would be talking to, but I don’t want to eavesdrop, so I go back and sit with Violet. But she’s gotten off the couch and left the room. Soon she is back and dragging a scrapbook behind her.

  “What do you have there, Little One?”

  “Dada.”

  “Dada?”

  “Dada.”

  I’m not sure why she keeps calling my name, but I help her pick up the large book and put her back on the couch. When she opens it up, it all becomes glaringly apparent. Now I know why Violet was dead set on me being her dad. This is a photo album filled with pictures of Andi, me, and our families. Violet flips through the pages, and every time she sees my picture, she says, “Dada.” I glance up and catch Andi staring at us.

  “That was a way for me to introduce her to you,” Andi explains.

  There are so many things I want to say, but I keep my mouth shut. Violet doesn’t need to hear any of them. I’m glad she saw the face of her father, but it still doesn’t make up for the two years I’ve lost.

  Seventeen

  Andi

  His non-reply is evidence he isn’t impressed with the lengths I went through to make sure Violet knows who her family is even if none of them know about her.

  “Excuse me,” I say, walking away. “I need to have someone cover my shift.”

  “Why?”

  I stop and turn around. With Violet staring at me, I force a sweet smile, but it’s easy for Chase to see it’s an artificial one.

  “I need to stay home with Violet. She isn’t feeling well.”

  “I can stay with her.”

  The embers of an argument kindle in my throat.

  “I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that.”

  “You don’t have to. I’m her father.” His smile is even more plastic than mine. “You can tell me what to do and we’ll be fine.”

  The idea of leaving her makes me faintly ill. I’ve always been there for her when she isn’t well. She burrows her head in the crook of his neck with her eyes still on me.

  “Dada stay.”

  How can I say no to that?

  “Okay,” I croak, turning away. It feels like I’m already losing her. The way she clings to him, it’s as if she wants him more than me. Isn’t this what I’ve wanted—to be happy with having them united as father and daughter? But it hurts like hell that maybe she would be fine going to Italy without me.

  When I find some paper, I channel my frustration into writing notes for Chase about when and if he should give her more Tylenol. I also leav
e Owen’s cell phone number at the bottom.

  Later, when it’s time for me to go, I plead with him to call me if her fever spikes.

  “I’ll come home right away,” I add.

  By the time I get to work, I consider asking one of my doctor friends to prescribe me some anti-anxiety medication to ease my frayed nerves.

  “What’s going on?” Beth asks.

  It feels like days since our Doc McDreamy conversation. For once, I really need a friend. The time for secrets has passed.

  “Chase,” I say by way of explanation.

  “The guy from the emergency room the other night?” I silently agree. “He’s hot.”

  “He’s Violet’s father,” I blurt.

  Her jaw drops.

  “It’s a long story, but he’s threatened to take her from me.”

  “What an asshole,” she says in true friend solidarity.

  I shake my head. “He’s not. It’s complicated. But I have to talk to Peggy about getting time off.”

  She hugs me. “I won’t ask why right now. But know that my brother’s best friend’s sister is a lawyer if you need one.”

  “Thanks. I’ll let you know. We’re trying to work this out outside of court.” I spot Peggy. “I have to go.”

  She points at me. “We are so talking about this later. I want the whole story.”

  Later, on the way home, I’m grateful I found someone who can take my shift the next day. The problem will be giving a notice if I decide to just quit, as Chase seems to think I can. If I have a prayer at ever coming back to work here in the future or getting a decent reference, I will have to stay at least two weeks. Will Chase give me that time? Or will he demand to take Violet and have me join them later?

  Lost in my thoughts, I run smack into Owen.

  “Andi.”

  The man has the kindest face, one just as beautiful as the man on the inside.

  “Sorry.”

  I take a step back, feeling for the first time like we are strangers. He tips my chin up so I can stare into his earnest eyes.

  “Is everything okay?”

  They don’t make men like him anymore.

  “No. But I’ll get through it.”

  “I don’t want to pry, but is it true? Did Chase not know he was a father?” I nod. “Wow.”

  “Owen, please don’t judge. I didn’t do it to hurt him. As crummy as this sounds, I thought I was helping.”

  “I guess I can’t blame him for being pissed off at me, then.”

  “And me too. He’s threatening to take Violet from me.”

  “Shit.” The man doesn’t curse often.

  I shake my head. “I should have expected it, right? Worse, he has all the resources in the world to do it.”

  “I can help you. I get he’s pissed, but it’s not a reason enough for you to lose your daughter. I couldn’t live without Holly.”

  “Why would you do that? Don’t you think I’m a bad mother too?”

  A smile grows on his face.

  “Andi, I don’t know your reasons for keeping him from her, but I trust and admire you. You have to know how much I care about you too. Our lives are already so entwined, I’d hoped—”

  “Don’t.” I can’t possibly bear to hear the words and have even more guilt on my conscience. “The only choice he’s given me to keep her is to move to Italy with him.”

  “So you can be together,” he says resolutely.

  I let out a bitter laugh. “No. But he’ll let me live in his house so we can share our daughter.”

  “And that’s it.”

  “For us, yes. But he says we can come back when his season is over.”

  “Season? Wait. What’s his last name?”

  I doubt he would know, so I say, “He’s Chase Wilde. He plays soccer in Italy.”

  “He’s The Chase Wilde. The leading striker in the Italian soccer league and brother of Fletcher Wilde, the top NFL quarterback?” The amazement would be funny if the situation were different. I bob my head. He blinks.

  “That Chase Wilde has more money than I can dream of to take Violet away if I don’t concede to his demands. That Chase Wilde who wants nothing to do with me.”

  “He’s a fool, which works in my favor. Once you get back, maybe you and I …”

  Why couldn’t my heart accept this man?

  “Owen, you’re a really great guy. But I don’t want you waiting on me. Even though Chase has written me off, the truth is, I’m still in love with him.”

  Hope doesn’t leave his expression. “I’ll see you when you get back, and we can talk about it then.”

  My apartment door opens just as Owen leans in for a hug. All I can think about is the building’s paper-thin walls. How much of our conversation has Chase heard?

  Chase doesn’t speak when I step inside. I go directly to Violet’s room to check on her. She’s not warm, but I leave, closing the door to let her sleep. Chase is waiting for me.

  “How was she last night?” I ask.

  The distance he keeps between us is palpable.

  “Everything was fine. I didn’t have any problems or have to give her any medicine.” He holds up a hand. “I checked her temperature every hour with that scanner you left.” It is a machine that you swipe over the forehead to get a reading.

  “You didn’t have to do it every hour.” No wonder he looks tired.

  After two-plus years of not being able to touch him, I ache to brush my fingers over the shadow that covers his chin. He’s damn sexy with stubble on his face. But that isn’t possible, so I dive into the next topic.

  “I got the next two days off. So we have through the weekend to go to Waynesville.”

  “Good. I’ll go back to my place and square things away. We can leave first thing in the morning.”

  I’m not sure he’ll get why I say it, but I do anyway. “Thank you.”

  He barely tips his head at me and he’s gone. The next time I see him, we’re on the plane headed home.

  I’d spent the previous day with Violet. Thankfully, her fever hadn’t returned. Owen had come over for lunch with Holly. Things have been different between us. Oh, how one little act has such wide-ranging consequences.

  “Dada. Color.” Violet runs to Chase when she spots him on the small plane.

  I’m left to sit alone on the flight. No matter how I play it in my head, I have no words to say to my family and his. They already know something’s up. Chase had Fletcher gather everyone at his house.

  Violet has definitely recovered. She continues to chatter nonstop during the car ride. Chase has rented an SUV, probably more for me because I’m sure his brother offered to pick us up.

  As the scenery goes by, everything is different and the same when we arrive in Waynesville. The town is the same with a few new shops along the way. Fletcher’s robin’s egg blue house is trimmed in white and looks like a modern-day farmhouse. When I get out of the car, I just stare at how beautiful the place is. I’m reminded of how much I’ve missed home.

  “I’ll go in and give you a minute.”

  I nod, clutching Violet’s hand and not just because she started after her father. I need her to ground me and remind me why I did what I did.

  After a deep breath, I walk up the steps and through the front door. Chase hasn’t softened the blow, considering the gasps that come from our parents. Cassidy, Fletcher’s wife, gives me a sympathetic glance.

  “Gamma, Gampa,” Violet says, pointing out my parents. Then her finger lands on Chase’s folks. “Nana, Papa.”

  I kneel down to her level and point at my brother. “Yes, and Uncle Mark—” Then I point at Chase’s brother and wife. “And Uncle Fletcher and Aunt Cassidy.”

  I get to my feet for the rest. “Everyone, this is our daughter, Violet Chase Wilde …” Chase’s head snaps in my direction. We haven’t talked about her full name, so I add, “James.”

  “Andi,” Mom whispers with tears in her eyes.

  Cassidy steps forward. “How about I tak
e Violet to get some cookies?” I nod as she holds out a hand to Violet while shifting her baby in her other arm. “Would you like a cookie and some milk?”

  Violet glances at me and I give my approval. She takes her hand, and after they leave, all eyes are on me.

  “This is why you haven’t come home.” Mark is furious. He points at Chase. “You got my sister pregnant and kept her hidden away?”

  I hold up a hand. “Chase didn’t know. I …” I suck in air for purchase. “I didn’t tell him. I thought it was for the best. By the time I realized I was pregnant, he was already in Italy and I had school to finish and a future job in Chicago. I didn’t want him to have to come back here or hold him back. His career was already in full swing by then.”

  Thankfully, Chase doesn’t say anything. But my brother isn’t done with his interrogation. I’ve never seen him so mad, considering he’s one of the nicest guys you’d ever meet.

  “What other secrets are you keeping? Are the two of you married?”

  “No,” Chase is quick to answer. His one word is so final, I have to glance away.

  “Andi, I wish you hadn’t thought you needed to keep this from us,” Mom chimes in.

  “I …” How I hate defending myself again because I know I’m in the wrong. “I thought if Chase didn’t know, I couldn’t very well tell the rest of you.”

  Mom blows out a breath and I’m afraid to look at everyone else’s disappointed faces.

  “I for one want to meet my granddaughter. She called me Nana,” Chase’s mom proudly says.

  Our parents agree and leave me in the room with three angry guys, though Fletcher doesn’t appear to be as mad at me as the rest.

  Mark barrels forward, snagging my hand. “Let’s talk outside.”

  Chase doesn’t even give me a second thought before following our parents. Fletcher gives me a half-smile before following his brother. I bite the inside of my cheek and go with Mark willingly.

  Tongue-in-cheek, I glance anywhere but my brother’s face.

  “I knew something was up. But I never thought … How could you hurt our parents this way?”

  I’d been too chicken to meet my father’s eyes.

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  “You expect me to buy that? Hiding a kid. Mom already thinks that you don’t see us as your real family.”