Worth Every Risk

by Laine, Terri E.

  “What?” I glare at him.

  “What do you expect? Since graduating high school, you’ve barely come home. And when you do, you spend most of your time out of the house. Now we know why.”

  If he’s slut-shaming me for getting knocked up, I’m not going to take it.

  “You either. Hell, when you didn’t have your nose up Gina’s skirt, you were at Fletcher’s. Don’t put this all on me.”

  Gina had been his best friend outside of Fletcher, and he’d wanted more. Now she’s getting married to Ryder and he’s with Riley.

  “I wasn’t the one Mom was worried about. It was always poor Andi.”

  “Mark.” We turn to find Mom heading our way. “Stop it.”

  My brother, always the good son, does as asked.

  She comes over and wraps me in a hug. “She’s beautiful,” she murmurs in my ear.

  That’s when the waterworks start. “I’m sorry, Mom. I love you and Dad. You have to know that. I was wrong. I made a mistake.”

  “Shhh,” she says, rubbing my back. “You’re a mom now. You of all people must know your children do no wrong.” She pats my cheek. “I’m sad I wasn’t with you. I always pictured being there.”

  I cling to her again. “I’m so sorry.”

  When I finally let her go, she shocks me.

  “I always saw the two of you together.” My jaw goes slack. “That’s right. That boy has had moon eyes for you for as long as I can remember.”

  I ignore the moon comment.

  “You knew?”

  She gives me an indulgent smile. “Denise and I both knew.”

  I can’t help but set the record straight.

  “He hates me now.”

  “Do you blame him?” Mark interjects.

  Mom glares at him, but her expression softens on me. “Give him time. Love like that doesn’t die easy. If I’m right, he came to Chicago looking for you.”

  I can’t answer because Chase comes out with Violet in his arms, his mom, Denise, in tow talking with her. When they reach us, his mom says, “Her curls remind me of Chase’s. When he was little and his hair was still sun-kissed, I would let it grow. He had the most beautiful curls.”

  When Violet reaches for me, I take her and give her a kiss on the cheek.

  I’m grateful it’s not bitter cold as Fletcher, the dads, and Cassie come outside too. Denise continues. “But then Fletcher and Mark got the bright idea to dress Chase up in a skirt.”

  Mom laughs. “I remember that.”

  “Don’t remind me,” Chase’s dad says.

  His mom continues. “When Fletcher introduced his sister to our dinner guest, Henry made me promise to keep Chase’s hair cut.”

  Fletcher bellows with laughter. “I got in so much trouble.”

  “Me too,” Mark mutters, almost cracking a smile.

  Chase glowers, not liking the memory.

  “I think I have a picture somewhere,” Denise announces.

  “You won’t be showing that to anyone,” Chase says.

  His dad pats his shoulder. “I’ve got the grill going. Don’t want lunch spoiled. Are you coming, George?”

  My dad nods.

  “It’s pretty cold out here. Why don’t we go make hot cocoa, Violet?” Cassie offers. “And, Fletcher, I think someone needs to be changed.”

  She hands over the baby. Chase watches his brother take the baby without comment. I take it in, all sad I won’t have that.

  “I’m going to check on Dad,” Mark says before stomping off.

  “Well,” Chase’s mom says. “I want to say thank you.”

  I look around because surely she’s not talking to me.

  “Yes, you, Andi.”

  “Why would you thank her?” Chase admonishes.

  “Because, my dear son, I was a young mother once. I can only imagine the struggle she went through in making her decision.” She holds up a hand to stop him. His jaw snaps shut. “We won’t get into the merits of her choice. The point is, she was alone and decided to bring our granddaughter into the world. And from what I can tell, she did a wonderful job.”

  “She kept her from me. You’d think you’d be on my side,” Chase grumbles.

  “There are no sides, honey. I believe her when she said she thought she was doing the right thing. I might have done the same if I’d been in her shoes. Granted, I don’t know what happened between the two of you. But Pamela and I knew the two of you were together.” Chase stares at his mother. She shrugs. “Besides, if she planned to keep this a secret forever, why does Violet know who we are?”

  “She has a book with our pictures,” he says.

  “Exactly. I know this isn’t ideal, but you have to see that she didn’t plan to keep Violet from you.”

  “That doesn’t give me the two years I’ve missed back.”

  “I have lots of pictures and videos,” I add.

  Chase could have killed me with the glare he turns my way.

  “Where are you all staying?” Denise asks, continuing to play peacemaker.

  I turn to my mother. “I thought Violet and I would stay with you, Mom, if that’s okay?”

  Mom eyes Chase a second before saying, “Why don’t you and Chase discuss what’s best for Violet?”

  Our moms leave and I bite my lip, taking the hint.

  “I’m sorry. She’s right. It’s just going to take a little bit of time to get used to not making decisions on my own.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not sleeping away from my daughter.”

  Patience, I tell myself.

  “So what, you want her to stay with you at your parents’?”

  He holds my stare like that’s the obvious answer.

  “My parents deserve time too. Maybe we should stay at a hotel so it’s fair.”

  “Fair. Let’s not talk about what’s fair.”

  “Fine, Chase. Whatever. We’ll do it your way so you can keep punishing me.”

  “Hey.” Cassie suddenly appears with a baby on her hip. Violet isn’t with her. “Okay, Mama Bear—” She meets my eyes. “—your daughter is chatting it up with the granddads. She’s fine.”

  “Cassie, could you give us a minute? We are trying to work through something,” Chase says.

  “As if the neighbors couldn’t hear,” she admonishes. “I have a solution.”

  “And what is that?” Chase snaps.

  “You can stay here: neutral ground. Besides, our house is completely baby-proof. We have the room and spare toys that are too old for our baby yet.” She shrugs. “Everyone is spoiling our kiddo. But they would be perfect for my niece.”

  Fletcher and Cassie don’t seem to play on the Hate Andi team, so I say, “I’m fine if Chase is.”

  I don’t bother to look at him, only wait for his answer.

  Eighteen

  Chase

  Both women stare at me, waiting for an answer. This is the best solution. Neutral ground to be fair to us both. But quite honestly, I feel betrayed by my parents. I would’ve thought Mom would’ve taken my side. It looks like everyone is Team Andi, other than Mark. At least he sees things my way.

  “Fine, we’ll stay here. Thanks, Cassie, for looking out for us.” Then I stalk inside.

  Fletcher approaches me. “Dude, she’s a cutie. And you’ve taken to her like a fish to water. I’m proud of you.”

  Even throughout all of this, I have to grin. And it’s a feeling of pride that I wear in my smile. “Yeah, I really have. It’s an unbelievable feeling to hold your child in your arms, isn’t it?”

  “The greatest there is. So, I know this isn’t the best topic, but are you and Andi working on things?”

  “No.” This is not up for discussion.

  “Then what are you going to do about your daughter?”

  “She’s coming back to Italy with me. If Andi wants to fight me, she can bring it on. I’ll put together the strongest legal team I can find. She was in the wrong and she fucking knows it.”

  “Yeah, I agree, but what I
don’t agree with is putting Violet in the middle of the battle.”

  “I’ll keep her out of it as much as I can. She’s the last one I want to hurt, believe me. She’s been hurt enough as it is.”

  Fletcher nods. “And there’s no way to work this out amicably?”

  “I’d like to, but think about it in her terms. Would you want Harrison, your son, removed from you?”

  He shakes his head. “Guess not. I do know this. If I tried to do that to Cassie, she’d go for blood.”

  “Yeah, but Cassie wasn’t deceitful either. I think Andi does have somewhat of a conscience.”

  “You weren’t looking at her face when you all walked in. She looked abso-fucking-lutely destroyed.”

  “Good. As bad as it sounds, that’s what I felt like when I found out I’d lost two years of Violet’s life … two years I’ll never get back. Imagine losing two years of your kid’s life, Fletch. It sucks so bad, I can’t even explain it.”

  He pats my back and then squeezes my shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do, to be honest. Mark was pissed as hell too. He’s still giving her hell over it.”

  I glance out the window and spot the two of them out on the deck. Andi has her arms crossed, either from the cool January air or from Mark’s chilling words. Her crestfallen expression has me almost feeling sympathy toward her … almost. But I’m still too angry for that.

  “You’d better get over that pissed-off feeling or those damn creases in your forehead are going to turn into a crevasse,” Fletcher teases.

  “Shut up. It’s not that easy.”

  “Right. But you’ll have to give it up someday. You can’t carry that anger forever.”

  “Says he who was pissed off at his wife for what? Years?”

  He slashes his arm through the air. “That was ages ago and I was young, dumb, and stupid. Don’t follow my footsteps. We wasted too much time. You two have already wasted years.”

  I look out the window again and think about why I went to Chicago in the first place. What a crazy ass trip that turned out to be.

  Fletcher breaks into my thoughts and asks, “By the way, what the hell happened to your nose? Did Andi punch you or something?”

  I explain that whole deal and he cracks up so hard, all heads turn. Then I have to tell everyone else. Dad says, “I was going to ask you about that, but then Violet stole all the attention.”

  Violet suddenly calls out, “Dada. Dada.” Then she barrels full force into me.

  “Good Lord, that kid is fast,” Dad says. “She’s faster than you were at her age, Chase. Maybe she’s inherited the Wilde athletic genes.”

  Mom yells, “Not already. You men. Just give the child a chance, will you?”

  Fletcher and I laugh.

  Seeing Mom sitting there reminds me that I want a word with her. Dad’s always been an outlier on these things. He’d never say a word, but I want Mom to know exactly how betrayed and hurt I felt when I found out about Violet.

  Violet is still running circles around my legs and then grabbing onto me.

  Lifting her high in the air, I say, “Little One, give me a smooch.” She does and it makes a resounding smack. The grandparents laugh and so does she. “Hey, can you go and play with your papa?” She zooms toward my dad and he snatches her up like a “sack of taters,” as he always says.

  That gives me the opportunity I need to grab Mom’s hand and take her into one of the bedrooms.

  Not one to waste words with her, I jump right in and say, “I can’t believe you sided with Andi.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, son. I did not side with anyone, other than my granddaughter.”

  “Yes, you did. You said she did a wonderful job.”

  Mom grins at me. I’m incredulous. And pissed. The heat of my anger nearly explodes out of me. Then she has the nerve to say, “Why don’t you just tell that girl how much you still love her?”

  “What?”

  She points at the bed and says, “Sit down,” using her mom tone.

  It’s not in me to refuse. After I’m seated, she says, “Why are men so blind and stubborn? Can you not hear yourself? If you didn’t care a thing in the world about her, why are you so angry?”

  I nearly spit my reply, “Because she never told me about Violet, that’s why!”

  “And she didn’t tell you, why? If she had, what would you have done?”

  “I would’ve made her come to Italy with me.” I sit and cross my arms in satisfaction, then grin.

  Mom laughs. She fucking laughs at me.

  “Made her come. You don’t make anyone do anything, Chase.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Mom laughs again. “Son, you have a lot to learn where women are concerned.”

  “So, you think Andi was right in not telling me?”

  “Did I say that?”

  “No, but you seem to think everything I do is wrong.”

  “Because you act like a dictator.”

  I scratch my cheek and think for a second. Maybe she’s right.

  “Chase, honey, think about what it was like being in Andi’s shoes. And think how it takes two to tango. She got pregnant. You were partly responsible for that, you know. She was young. You were established in Italy already. She didn’t want to ruin your career. She loved you. She didn’t want you to resent her. What would you have done?”

  “I didn’t think about it that way. I only thought how I’d missed out on seeing my daughter’s birth and the subsequent two years of her life. But Mom, I would’ve come back if I’d known.”

  “What’s done is done. You were both in the wrong. And two wrongs never ever make a right. Stop all this ridiculous acting out and start behaving like adults. Move forward in your daughter’s best interests,” Mom says, grabbing my hands. “That’s what’s important.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, as usual.”

  “Now sit here and come up with a plan. I’m going out there to play with my granddaughter.”

  I watch her leave and think about whether or not my plans to take them back to Italy are the right ones. Realistically, it’s the only way I can spend time with Violet. If they stay here, there isn’t any way to do that. My season is about to kick back up into high gear and there will be no way for me to travel back and forth. I could ask Andi to do that, but I’m not sure how much vacation time she has.

  My mind made up, I head out to find her. When I do, she’s still talking with Mark. I don’t care if I interrupt. I grab her wrist, saying, “We need to talk.” Then I take her into the room where Mom and I just were.

  “Please sit.” She eyes me with uncertainty, but does as I say.

  “I just had a chat with my mom and she pointed some things out to me. Made me see things in a different light. I need to apologize for being overbearing. I won’t apologize for being angry with you though, because I wish you had come to me about your pregnancy. Moving on, I would like to ask you to come to Italy. It’s not a demand, and it’s not an ultimatum. Here’s the thing. I have a contract that I can’t get out of, so the only way I can see Violet is if you were to come with her. I really don’t relish the thought of separating the two of you. Flying back and forth isn’t an option either, because my schedule is too demanding, with practices and games. Plus, I have to travel often for games. I’m not sure if you have enough vacation time with your job to do it either. So, I’m asking, Andi. I don’t want to be separated from Violet either. Will you do it? Can you take a leave of absence or something? Will you come to Italy with me?”

  Nineteen

  Andi

  The fact that Chase is trying is more than I could have asked for. Given everything I took from him, how can I say no?

  “Yes, I’ll go to Italy with you.”

  “Great.” He turns to leave when I stop him.

  “You do realize we have to get a passport for Violet.” I’ve already read up on it. “If we expedite it, we can possibly get it in less than a week. But it could take up to two. Can you wait
to go back? Just to be sure things go okay?”

  His perfect lips flatten. “I would stay, but I can’t. I have a contract to fulfill.”

  “Can you at least stay to get her passport? Otherwise, even you can’t get her there. There’s one other thing.” I hesitate. “I can’t just leave my job if I ever want to come back or get a reference. I need to give notice.”

  Although his anger isn’t at the surface, the distance between us is palpable. In his eyes, I can see the mistrust is still there.

  “I can stay another day or two in Chicago when we get back to take care of the passport. Maybe my mom and yours can come along. Once you get Violet’s passport, our moms can fly Violet over and you can come when you can.”

  I swallow my protest and nod stiffly because it’s only fair to him.

  “Good,” is his one-word answer. “I’d also like to be added to her birth certificate as her father.”

  “You have to know I would’ve done it, if I could have. It wasn’t possible without your signature. But it’s a simple matter of you filling out a form, and then having my name dropped from hers.”

  “Thank you, Andi.”

  When he leaves, I let my forced smile drop. I wait thirty seconds before exiting the room to find my daughter. She’s with the granddads chattering away. It feels so good to see her with them.

  It’s not long before Violet notices that Cassie and Fletcher have a swing.

  “Mama, swing.”

  Though it’s nippy out, I give in and take her out there for about ten minutes before tempting her to come back inside to get some more hot cocoa.

  Later when my brother starts watching videos with her, I duck upstairs to the room Cassidy assigned to me. Mom finds me staring at my lap. She walks in and closes the door behind her.

  “I thought we could talk.”

  It had been too good to be true to think that Mom had been okay with everything. I knot my hands on my lap when she sits next to me.

  “You know I love you no matter what.” I nod silently. She takes my hand in hers. “But the truth is, I’m really hurt. Dad is too. We just want to understand why you thought you couldn’t talk to me or your dad about this.”