“What are you doing?” I walk closer, and catch a glimpse of the work of art Mara’s working on.
“Dessert . . . but one side’s collapsed and I was doing so well.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much. I mean it’s going to get sliced up, right?”
I glance over her shoulder to look at what she’s making. It’s a meringue and cream concoction with strawberries and chocolate as the top decoration. She’s done a good job of putting this all together from scratch. I wouldn’t have a clue where to start.
“I guess,” she says, sounding wistful. “Oh, well. I’m sure it’ll go down well anyway.” She waves over her shoulder. “Grab a couple of beers out of the fridge, will you?”
“Sure.”
Taking the cap off the two longnecks, I pass one to Mara and start laughing.
She’s wearing the cream on her nose and chin, looking like a naughty child.
I toss her a towel, unable to remove the grin from my face.
Rolling her eyes, she cleans herself off. “That’s good.” She licks her lips, and then with a gleam in her eye walks closer. “So, tell me about the sexy man outside drinking beer with my sexy man.”
“Is that optional?”
She chuckles. “Not on your life. We’re sisters, and I want all the hot details . . . and don’t leave anything out.”
We both take a drink of our beers as I hold her gaze before grinning, feeling joy at her reference to us being sisters. “He’s delicious,” I drool. “He’s the best looking guy I’ve ever seen. He’s . . . he’s,” I sigh, “got a good heart. He really cares for me, Mara.” I find that, with the confession I’m fighting back tears. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.
“Dal?” Mara rubs my arms, concerned.
“I’m fine, really. It’s just all happened so fast, you know? And I’m getting to the point of not believing I’m the other woman . . . you don’t think I am, do you? And please be honest.”
I bite my lip while I wait for her answer.
She smiles. “He isn’t being unfaithful, Dal. He’s been separated for years from what I understand. There can’t be another woman because there wasn’t and isn’t a marriage. There is no way you can be called the other woman. You need to stop thinking like that right now or you’re going to piss me off.” She raises a brow and stands with her hands on her hips, keeping a stern look on her face the entire time.
Her lips twitch.
I roll my eyes before becoming serious. “I’m more or less there, and it helps hearing you speak so . . . frankly,” I smirk. “On a good day I realize my mom’s situation was so much different than mine, but on a bad day, the lines blur.”
Mara stands beside me while we both take another drink from our bottles. She gives me another searching look before she squeezes my arm and picks up a dish to carry out to the table.
I’m still nervous about jumping head long into more of a relationship with Ryder, but considering we’ve been sharing a bed these past few nights, I guess it’s gone past the point of going back to just friends. I’m not even sure I’d be able to do that. It would hurt seeing him with another woman.
A stab of jealousy shoots through me as I think about tomorrow. The fact that he’s going to be talking to her tomorrow causes my jealousy to rise. It shouldn’t but that possessive streak of mine is rearing its ugly head and I need it to disappear. I trust Ryder, and it amazes me how quickly that’s happened.
Suddenly Ryder is standing in front of me. Lost in thought like I was, I didn’t even see him approach.
“You, okay?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.
I step into him and slide an arm around his neck to keep him close. “I’m more than, okay.” I plant a quick kiss on his lips. “I think Mara’s getting lunch set up outside,” I comment, watching her carry a platter of meats through the living room.
“Um, I know what I’d rather be eating.” He smirks.
“Behave,” I whisper against his lips. “You can have your mouth on me later. If you’re good.” I rub against the hardness I feel between us.
“Stop making out in my kitchen,” Donovan shouts from the patio doors.
Ryder moves his hands to my hips, and grips tightly to keep me still.
I offer him an amused smile before blowing him a kiss and moving out of his arms.
“Let’s eat.”
“Don’t take too long about it.” Ryder smacks me on the butt. “I’m hungry for dessert.”
Rolling my eyes, I chuckle at the wiggling of his brows. “I know, same with me.” His eyes grow hot and I laugh. “Mara’s made a delicious looking meringue.”
He groans and I nudge my hip against his before saying, “They’re our family and friends. I’ve no plans to rush. Just sit back and relax.”
“You’re killing me,” he whispers, and then says loudly, “Okay, babe.”
Sitting at the table with our friends while we’re a couple feels amazing. I haven’t had this before so I take a minute to sit back and relax while watching the interaction between them.
The love Mara and Donovan share is obvious in the slightest interaction they have. A slight touch of their hands, the odd glance they share, the way each other’s eyes seek the other out . . . every interaction is full of a secret meaning. Then there’s my guy. His touch on my thigh sends shards of pleasure through me and fills my heart with love for this incredible man.
Love is a strong word, and for a long time only applied to Reece. I only understood sibling love, having missed out on a lot of the parental love I should have had. I’ve never loved a man before but Ryder has slowly worked his way inside. It helped with my hang up being friends with him first and now I’m not sure what I’d do without him.
With me, he’s so sweet, kind and loving. Words I wouldn’t speak out loud. But they describe how he treats me well. At first, when he bought Kix, he really was someone I’d describe as being a tough Marine. His whole attitude was ‘leave me alone,’ but now the chip he had on his shoulder seems to have fallen away.
“So where are you planning to go?” Mara asks.
I blink.
Ryder squeezes my thigh, while Mara and Donovan hide their smiles but the amusement is clear in their eyes.
“I’ve just been telling them we’re going away for a few days.” He chuckles.
“Oops, sorry. Um, I’m not sure yet, but somewhere with snow . . . lots of snow.”
“What about the cabin in Stowe that Lewis, Mia’s father owns?” Mara suggests, filling her plate.
“I’m not sure when it’s booked up, but Liam offered it to Reece because they can’t go,” Ryder adds while we fill our plates with chicken and salad.
“It’s a good idea, and I do know they rent it out all year. It gets booked up quickly though, so you’d have to check with Lewis’s secretary for available dates.”
“We’ll do that. I might check with Reece first because he wasn’t sure if they were free, so maybe we can use some of the dates Liam has.”
I’m starting to feel excited—we might get to Stowe after all. It would be amazing if we do. I’m guessing that being able to reserve a room in Stowe at the end of October might get tricky.
Silence follows as we eat and it definitely has everything to do with the food. It tastes amazing, especially the fresh, herb bread Mara has made.
With my eyes full of mirth, I turn and face her. “You know, they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I tear a piece of the bread off, popping it into my mouth.
“She’s already in my heart.” Donovan takes Mara’s hand in his, lifts it up to his lips, and kisses her knuckles, keeping their fingers entwined.
The delight on Mara’s face is plain for everyone to see. She loves Donovan and their affection causes my heart to flutter in my chest as I glance at Ryder. He has the same loving look on his face for me as Donovan always wears for Mara.
Ryder smiles and blows me a kiss as Mara jumps up, and runs back into the house.
He leans back in his chair after eating the last of his lunch and rubs his stomach. “So what’s for dessert?” he asks, giving me a wicked look.
I smack his leg in a playful move. “Mara has made a delicious dessert.”
He chuckles and sits forward. “Sounds good, babe.”
Mara brings her creation out and places it in the center of the table.
Once she’s served us all a slice, Ryder brings up the cabin again.
“Do you know how secluded the cabin in Stowe is?” he asks Donovan.
“I’ve never been, but I think it’s a fifteen minute trek through thick forest to get to your nearest neighbor.” Donovan shrugs. “You really want to go up there, don’t you?”
“We do.”
“Then I hope it works out.” He grins. “I can always come up with something to keep Reece here.”
“You can’t do that,” I laugh. “I’m sure it’ll all work out fine.”
Chapter Ten
Ryder
“You need to start packing, babe,” I inform Dahlia during our cell conversation.
I’m sitting in the truck around the corner from Brittany’s house and I’m happy that I get to give Dahlia some good news while she waits for me to get back. A few minutes ago, I received a call from Liam, offering me the cabin in Stowe.
The smile is still on my face knowing how much Dahlia wants to visit Stowe, and listening to her scream into my ear makes me laugh.
“We’ll leave tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she mumbles.
Is she crying?
“Babe, are you all right?” I ask, wishing I was with her.
“I’m okay. I’ve always wanted to visit Stowe and the fact we’re going, and together, makes me so happy.”
Although she can’t see me, I smile.
With the care she’s shown me over the past few days, I now have the courage to deal with whatever Brittany, and her family throw at me.
It isn’t going to be easy, but Dahlia makes me feel like I own the world.
Every time I think about where I’m heading, my head throbs and has been since I made the decision to tell Brittany in person. It’s not like I’m a coward . . . hell, I’ve done more tours than I can count, but I hate hurting people, especially women. The thing that worries me the most is that I don’t know who this is going to hurt the most . . . Brittany or Dahlia.
Glancing at the dash, I realize time is getting on and I need to get moving. Get it out of the way.
Reaching up and rubbing my temples, I sigh. “I need to get going.”
“I guess you do. Please call me, if you need me.”
That’s my girl, always worrying about me.
“I will, babe.”
I hang up and let my cell drop to the passenger seat as I put the truck into drive and turn onto Brittany’s street. I pause before heading up the driveway, and then I put my foot down and pull up close to the garages.
Her parents live in a large ranch-style house. It’s over the top for my taste, especially with nine bedrooms, all of which look like frilly cakes. As far as I know, her parents, brother and Brittany live here as well as the round-the-clock nurse. Every time I enter, I can’t wait to leave. There’s an overpowering sense of doom that always hits me as soon as I walk through the front door.
I grimace, sitting in the car is not going to get this started and it sure isn’t helping. I wrench open the door and jump out before noticing her brother, Evan, who is standing in the doorway to the house. We’ve never seen eye to eye, and we certainly aren’t going to now.
As though there’s a dark cloud hanging over my head, I slowly walk toward him.
“It’s not her birthday,” he comments, unmoving.
I don’t answer.
“Is she up?” I ask, hoping today’s one of the days when she’s been moved from the bed to her chair.
It will make holding a conversation with her a lot easier because she’s usually more alert if she’s sitting up in the chair. I’m also hoping that it’s one of her good days.
He sighs and shakes his head. “She’s still in bed. The doctors just left.”
I raise a brow waiting for him to continue, which he doesn’t.
Trying to bite my tongue around him is getting old; in fact, it was old five minutes after I first met him.
“And?” I patiently wait.
“She’s getting a cold and we’re to keep a close eye on her. As though we don’t anyway.”
I nod, shoving my hands in my back pockets. “Can I see her?”
“I guess.” He opens the door, and waits for me to precede him inside. “Don’t upset her.”
Great!
I admit. “She isn’t going to like why I’m here.”
He stops and turns to look at me.
“If it’s about a divorce, then I think you might be surprised.”
I frown.
Am I that transparent?
If Brittany wants a divorce then why hasn’t anything been said before? It’s not as though there hasn’t been plenty of time.
My fists clench.
“She wants that?”
“She’s changed—suddenly—and she’s been talking a lot about the past and what she did to you. I’ve always blamed you for what happened to her. I needed someone to blame and you were the easiest. I knew what she was like and when she wanted something, she’d do anything to get it. She was very manipulative with our parents, and me.” He sighs, and continues, “I owe you an apology for how I’ve treated you over the years. She’s my sister, and no matter how bitchy she used to be, I still love her. I’m sorry for my part in all of this.”
Momentarily stunned, I ignore his outstretched hand, but as he goes to pull back, I grab hold and shake.
While his apology is running back and forth in my head, I respond, “I never expected that, but I accept it.”
Why now?
Everything is just too weird on this visit. He hardly ever speaks to me and when he does his words are clipped, and heaven forbid if the word divorce is ever mentioned.
“Go ahead,” he indicates the door leading to Brittany’s room. “She’s staying in bed today, but was awake a few minutes ago.”
With reluctance, I nod at Evan and make my way to the back of the house, wondering if Brittany is about to surprise the hell out of me like her brother.
But as I open her bedroom door, the smell of sickness hits me.
Her room is pale pink and white with all her belongings hiding behind closed closet doors. There is a large desk in the room, which is usually scattered with papers and pencils; occasionally her laptop would be open on the desk as well. The room has more of a sterile feel to it than it ever has before.
As my eyes turn toward the bed, I meet Brittany’s gaze. She’s buried under a thick quilt with a chunky crocheted blanket on it as the top layer. Her blond hair is brushed, and spread out on her pillow like a halo. I stare at her for a moment, my eyes taking in that beautiful hair and her angelic features. Despite everything, she is . . . was a beautiful woman that men noticed. Today, she does nothing for me.
“You coming in . . . there’s a draft.”
“Sorry.” I shut the door behind me but can’t get my feet to move forward.
When I’m here for her birthday, I don’t have so much trouble walking into her room, but since she’s been out of the hospital, today is the first day she’s appeared sick.
I don’t handle being around sickness well, and all I want to do is open the doors and walk away.
My feelings for Brittany have always been one of hate, but seeing her like she is now causes guilt to creep in.
“Your brother said you have a cold.” I move closer and finally drop down into the chair beside the bed. “Is that all it is?”
“Why? You’re making me feel like you care.”
I press my finger and thumb on the bridge of my nose. Today is not a good day. Despite her beauty, her personality is filled with anger and bitterness . . . but I can’
t bring myself to blame her; who knows how I would react to the same sentence on my body. “I don’t want to argue with you. I came to do something that I should have done years ago.”
She continues to stare at me . . . waiting.
“I can’t do this anymore, Brittany. We should have never gotten married in the first place, and you know that.”
“I thought you’d start to care for me with us living together.” She looks out through the window and into the garden beyond, lost in a world of her own. “It didn’t turn out that way,” she whispers. “We both lost our lives that day.”
Sitting, watching her reaction to my words, I can’t help waiting for her to start bitching because this Brittany—quiet and subdued—isn’t what I’m used to.
“Seriously, what did the doctor say?” It’s more than a cold.
“It’s just the start of a cold,” she turns back to me. “He’s going to keep a check on me. Because I’m laid up, he’s worried about it going to my lungs.” She laughs. “They’re always worried about something . . . sometimes I wish I hadn’t woken up.” She sighs.
What the fuck do I say to that?
Back then, I’d had those exact thoughts . . .
“You know, I never expected you to stay married to me. Every birthday that you’d visit, I expected you to tell me it would be the last. Even though you’d hardly talk to me, I looked forward to seeing you. It was a change to my mundane life.” She starts picking at the blanket. “My family has been amazing and they’ve always made sure I had everything that I needed, but I missed seeing you.”
She chuckles at the startled look I’m unable to hide.
“I remember the first time I saw you in full uniform. You were so handsome and I knew that I wanted to be married to you.” Her eyes cloud over with sadness. “You weren’t ready to settle down, and I did the unthinkable . . . After all these years, I owe you an apology.”
“What?” I blurt, stunned.
“I don’t blame you for your reaction. You’ve only ever known me as a conniving bitch . . . well, apart from the one night we spent together.” She shrugs. “I’m really sorry . . . for everything.”
Surprised, right now, is an understatement.
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