“Jace knows that Ryder’s the father?”
I hear Liam come back in, but I can’t look at him. I don’t want him seeing my distress.
“Yes. After Ryder disappeared from Kix, I was a mess. Jace helped to calm me down and I told him about Max being gay. He worked out about Ryder being the father.”
I pass Joshua back to his mama so I can grab some tissue and dab at my eyes.
“You know what feels like a knife wedging into my heart, is that he accuses me of being with someone else. How can he think that, Mia? How? I love him. Why doesn’t he love me the same as I do him?” I sob.
“Oh, crap, Dahlia. Please don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” I hiccup, “I can’t help it.” I forget Liam’s behind me and continue, “I want Ryder to be here with me. I want him to be with me while I’m pregnant.” I can’t stop the tears now as they flow down my face. “And most of all, I want him with me when I give birth to our baby. I love him and can’t do it without him.”
“Fuck.”
I freeze hearing Ryder curse behind me. Turning, I realize it wasn’t Liam coming back into the room.
He heard my heartbreak.
All the color has left him while he stares at me . . . he’s frozen still.
“I’m the father?” he whispers.
I nod.
His eyes fill.
He lifts a hand and presses his thumb and finger into his closed eyes, and when he opens them again, they’re red rimmed.
Finding my feet, I squeeze the hand that Mia holds out to me, and then head toward my guy.
During dinner with Jace, he’d made me promise to make it difficult for Ryder once he knew the truth. Jace didn’t think Ryder deserved to have it easy, but seeing him now, I don’t have the heart to do that.
I don’t touch him, but I ask, “Can we go somewhere and talk? Are you ready to listen?”
“I thought—” he shakes his head. “Let’s go.”
I turn back to Mia. “I’ll be back soon.” I give her a watery smile. “Thank you.”
As Ryder opens the door, he stops. “I forgot. One minute.”
He heads back into the room, and after looking around on the floor, he picks something up from behind the chair.
“Sorry. I lost this when I was in here, or rather, I’d hoped it was here that I’d lost it. Take care, Mia.”
“You too, Ryder.”
Out in the corridor, Ryder places his hand on my back and leads me toward the elevator. I don’t see Reece or Callie, who came up with me. They said I could go first while they went and sorted something out.
I really hope Reece hasn’t dragged her in the janitor’s closet or something because I wouldn’t put it past him.
The doors close, trapping me inside with Ryder. He doesn’t give me a chance to even look at him before he has me in his arms, and my face pressed against his chest while he just holds me.
“Will you come to the apartment with me? I promise, I’ll listen to you, but you have to listen to me as well.”
I wrap my arms around his waist, and hold on. “Yes.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ryder
I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I hadn’t overheard Dahlia talking to Mia in the hospital. I know myself, so I would have listened to her eventually, but it could have been too late.
Not once did I think the baby she’s carrying was mine. I just saw her with the other guy and let my head get stuck with that scenario. I just thank fuck I’d lost the paper with some scrawled orders on for Kix, otherwise, I’d have been none the wiser.
Opening my apartment door, I’m hoping that really soon, like tomorrow, I’ll be able to call it our apartment again. Hopefully, after we talk, she won’t be leaving because that’s unacceptable.
Keeping my hand on her back, I usher her toward the sofa and watch as she gets herself comfortable. She kicks her shoes off and sighs in relief.
“Sorry, my feet ache when I’m on them for any length of time, so does my back.”
“I want you comfortable.”
I kick my boots off and sit in the chair facing her.
Now we’re in the same room as the other, neither of us seems willing to talk.
I’m more interested, at least for now, in sitting and admiring her pregnant form. She has always been beautiful to me, but now there is a glow about her. Her curls down her back shine, but it’s her swollen belly that my eyes keep going back to. My child. I’m going to be a father.
I quickly move my hand away from my chest when I realize I’ve been rubbing where my heart rests. It hurts with the love I have for Dahlia, and now, our child.
Dahlia offers a soft smile, and says, “Jace said you had a phone call, which explains the way you were thinking when I ran.”
Fuckin’ Jace.
I guess I’ve nothing to lose by telling her now, plus we need to clear the air if we’re going to have any chance of a future, which I want. “Evan called to let me know Brittany didn’t have long left. She’d been diagnosed with cancer before my visit to see her about the divorce. I couldn’t carry through with the divorce knowing that she was dying and only had a month or two left.”
Glancing at Dahlia, I notice the tears swimming in her eyes as she covers her mouth with her hand.
I just need to get this out.
“What you heard in the bar was me panicking and not wanting to drag you into my mess. Although the situation was different, it was still your mom all over again and I couldn’t do that to you. I was afraid that if I told you, you’d walk away. So yeah, I did tell Jace that I’d have to let you go. Except by the end of our conversation, which you obviously didn’t hear, Jace had talked me into calming down so I could think rationally.
“My intention in the end was to tell you what was going on and giving you the choice . . . but you left, so I thought it was for the best.” I shrug. “Brittany went a bit longer than expected and by the time she died, we’d become friends of sorts.”
Do I admit about going after her or keep it to myself?
Oh, fuck it!
“After she died, I flew to Portsmouth. I’d always planned on coming after you when I was completely free to do so, except I hadn’t planned on seeing you with . . . someone else.”
And that was the obstacle I couldn’t get past.
Dahlia wipes her tears away, and meets my gaze. “I’m so sorry I left before we could talk. If your words hadn’t broken my heart then all these months wouldn’t have been wasted. I’d have stayed with you had I known.” She shakes her head in anguish.
“If you overheard me in the hospital to Mia, then surely you heard about Max being gay. He really is a good friend, but that’s all. I could never be with anyone else, Ryder. I can’t believe you think I could.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t want to think that. I just saw what I did, and I know now, how wrong I was. I didn’t want to talk when you came to Kix because I was scared of what you were going to say . . . I had no reason to be, did I?”
“No. You saw Max and presumed I’d come to gloat or something. Rub the pregnancy in your face.” She sounds angry now.
But I admit, “Something along those lines.” I decide to go full out and continue, “My heart was breaking seeing you standing there looking like a million dollars with the guy I thought you were with.”
Tears brim in her eyes as she moves over to me and starts to kneel at my feet. No way is she doing that. Without thinking, I grab her and place her in my lap.
As she curls into me, I hear a sigh escape her lips.
Holding her in my arms feels like the most natural thing in the world. Neither of us says anything, we just absorb the other.
I rest my chin on the top of her head and admit, “I’ve missed you every second of every day.”
Hearing my words, she presses her face against my chest and kisses me there.
She takes hold of one of my hands and, after bringing it up to her mouth where she kisses
my knuckles, she lays my palm over her stomach and keeps her hand against mine. “This is your daughter, Ryder. Please believe me when I tell you that I could never be with anyone else after knowing what it was like to be loved by you. When my heart still belongs to you.”
Fuck!
As my vision blurs, I bury my face in Dahlia’s neck. I never once thought that I was the father of her child. Why the fuck didn’t that ever enter my head? Because you’re a bastard and thought you deserved to be punished.
Holding on to her tightly, I inhale and exhale, hoping to get myself under control. We still need to talk about her moving back here and our future, but right now, I just want to hold her.
I’m going to be a daddy.
And, yeah, the tears are flowing now. Through my own stupidity, I nearly lost my woman and daughter.
There’s still a very small part of me that blames Dahlia for running, instead of calling me on what she heard, but I know I’m going to be able to let that go because she’s back in my arms.
Dahlia
Feeling Ryder’s body shaking as he sobs into my neck, brings my tears back. So I do the most natural thing in the world and turn more into him with one hand caressing the nape of his neck to try and soothe him.
“We’re having a daughter,” he whispers against me now that his tears have started to slow.
“Mmm.” I kiss his forehead.
As I make to move out of his arms, they contract around my stomach, keeping me against him.
“I’m coming straight back. I just want to go and get us some tissue.”
He releases me.
With a hand full of tissue, I pass some to Ryder and, while he’s wiping his face, I do the same.
He drops the tissue beside the chair. “I’ll tidy up later.”
I drop mine on top of his and climb back on his lap, my forehead rests against his, and his arm goes around my back with his hand on my stomach, where his other one is caressing my bump.
“I’m sorry. So very sorry I wasn’t here for you. I know I should have stayed and confronted you about what I heard. My brain shut down, and I felt like my heart was breaking. I ran because I was afraid. If you’ll have me back, I promise never to just up and leave again.”
“I’ve no intention of letting you go anywhere again. You’re mine, babe. And you always have been from the moment we met . . . I love you.”
I smile and cup his face in my hands hearing the words I prayed he’d say.
Leaning in, I whisper, “I love you, too,” just as our lips meet, the blood thrums through my body knowing I’m home. Ryder increases the pressure and slips his tongue into my mouth.
“Mmm,” I moan against him, not wanting to stop.
This is what I’ve needed, to be back with Ryder.
“I’ve missed your taste, your smile, your sexy ass,” he murmurs.
His hand slips to my butt in a caress as I moan into his mouth.
“Hold on babe,” he whispers, and stands with me in his arms.
“Now, don’t get too excited. We’re just going to cuddle and sleep. I want you in my arms all night.”
In his bedroom, he lays me down, and proceeds to remove my thigh highs as his breathing becomes uneven.
He might want to cuddle all night but his body is begging for mine while I have an ache that only Ryder can make better.
“Sit up a minute, babe.”
I place my hand into his as he pulls me into a sitting position.
He lifts the dress over my head and tosses it onto the chair behind him.
Reaching behind me, I remove my bra and hear his breath catch when my breasts fall free. I’ve gone up two bra sizes since I became pregnant.
Lying back down, I spread out for him and wiggle my hips. “Will you take my panties off? I can’t reach.”
“Um, I don’t think so.” He smirks, and tosses his tee shirt off, followed with his jeans. “Those little panties can stay on.”
He’s heavily aroused with his erection tenting his shorts.
“That looks painful,” I comment.
“It won’t kill me.”
He climbs on the bed behind me, and pulling the quilt over us, wraps his front against my back with his hard cock pressing against my bottom.
I wiggle into him.
“Stop,” he hisses. “Dahlia, I’m trying to do right here, and you’re not helping. If you be good, I promise to make love to you all tomorrow night.”
I like that idea but I crave his touch.
“Pregnancy makes me horny . . . please, Ryder.”
“Fuck.”
“Yes, please.”
He burst out with surprised laughter.
“You were made to tempt me.” He slides his hands to my breasts and, cupping them, starts tugging on my nipples.
They’re live wires straight to my pussy, and I nearly come from just his fingers playing with me.
I can’t stay still and need his touch further south. “Ryder, touch me.”
“I am,” he laughs.
Before he has chance to reach into my panties, I grab hold of them and start to tug them down. With some maneuvering, I get them off and kick them out of the way. I lift my leg and rest it over Ryder’s so I’m open to him.
His hand slides from one breast with a tender caress over my swollen stomach to my trimmed pussy. I moan in relief when his fingers finally slide where I need them.
He rocks his hips against my bottom, but I’m in heaven as he slips two fingers inside me. I throw my head back to his shoulder and grind against his wicked fingers. His mouth is open on my neck while his other hand rolls and tugs at my nipple. I lift my hand and do the same with my other.
“Ah, I’m going to come . . . Don’t stop.”
“I won’t.”
Then my stomach clenches, the baby somersaults as my orgasm shudders through me. My release is flooding his fingers, but I can’t stop. The shudders go on and on in an intense climax.
Eventually his fingers slow, and I watch as he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks.
“You taste so fuckin’ good,” he mumbles before flopping over onto his back. I turn to look at him.
“Don’t touch me right now,” he growls.
My eyes fill. “I’m sorry.” I roll onto my side away from him, and try to hold my tears back.
“Fuck, and fuck . . . Dahlia, I love you and I really want to make love to you tonight, but I want to talk to the doctor before I shove my dick inside you. I need to hear with my own ears that I’m not going to be hurting you and the baby. But fuck, my dick’s ready to burst.”
I wipe at my eyes and look at his groin. Licking my lips, I trail a finger from his balls to the flared head, which is peeping out of the top of his shorts. He shudders and I watch mesmerized as precum leaks out in his excitement.
“Beat off,” I suggest and realize that I want to watch him.
He’s surprised though.
“Please . . . It’s hot watching you touch yourself, and there’s no way you’re going to sleep with that as hard as it is. Although, I wouldn’t complain if you slipped inside me because you would, slip inside me, I mean.”
“You need a gag.”
“Oh, kinky.”
“Fuck.”
I laugh as he jumps from the bed, kicking his shorts off.
Now he’s bare, I look at him and his erection is really large and stretched with his balls, heavy in the sac.
“Let me touch you first.”
“No way. You touch me I’ll come straightaway.”
He’s infuriating.
“Open your legs for me.”
I spread them, and gasp when he strokes through my wetness before spreading it on his cock.
“Lubrication.” He smirks.
His hand wraps around his shaft, and he starts pumping with his fist. No slow build up, just hard beating.
My legs splay wider as I tease him.
His breathing is coming heavier and as I start playing with my breasts, whi
ch I know he loves, he groans and groans and then gasps through his climax. His seed spurts all over the floor and his hand. Seeing so much releasing out of him, it’s no wonder it didn’t take much for me to get pregnant.
“Let me clean up, and hopefully I won’t fall on my ass.”
“Okay.” I pull the cover over myself and snuggle down; I start drifting off to sleep before Ryder joins me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ryder
Last night, I’d desperately wanted to be inside her, and my intention had been to wait until tonight, but having her aroused in my arms sort of voided my good intentions.
Although I kept my dick out of her, we still pleasured each other and it was hot as fuck.
My only problem is that I’m still hard, and I desperately want inside her. I’m going to have blue balls if I hold out until tonight. Maybe I won’t have to though. I’ve Googled on my cell about sex and pregnancy and every site says pregnant women get aroused quicker and it’s safe to have sex, right up until the end of the pregnancy.
Feeling her waking up, she stretches and rubs up against me causing Mr. Happy to jump in excitement.
I hear her giggle. “You should have gotten him wet last night.”
“Smartass. I’d still be as hard this morning. I’m always hard when I have you naked.” And that’s the truth, although I could add that I’m always hard as soon as I think about her.
“You’ll marry me, right?” I blurt out. “Shit, sorry. I’m not sure where the filter between my brain and mouth has disappeared. I mean, I want to marry you, I just didn’t mean to blurt it out.”
Shut up, Ryder.
I chance a glance at her and see her face split into a huge grin. “You really want to marry me?”
“As soon as it can be arranged. I’m making damn sure you can’t get away from me again . . . And it’s important you know that this would have been the outcome even if our baby wasn’t on the way. I need you to believe me.”
“I do,” she says, and her voice is full of emotion. I know she’s saying it from the heart.
I roll onto my side. “I love you, Dahlia.” I kiss her shoulder and feel her shudder. “I felt as though my life wasn’t worth living after you left. I carried on because I had to, not because I wanted to. We have to promise to face the other instead so that there isn’t any misunderstandings again.”
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