by Anne Hampson
Pam switched off the kettle and brewed the tea.
‘It can’t lead anywhere,’ Pam asserted firmly as she laid the tray with dainty china.
Toni became pensive, listening for the sound of the children even though her thoughts were on other things. She had no real proof of an affair, only a reunion - a dropping of the hostility Daros had felt for the girl who had at one time wronged him in some way. Yet if there was nothing between them then why was he seeing her at all?
‘If they’re in love,’ she faltered at length, speaking her thoughts aloud, ‘then it must lead somewhere. Daros m-might ask me - ask me for a divorce later on, when his grandfather dies.’ The very idea was like a knife turning in her heart. How had she come
to care like this?
Pam was pouring the tea. She stopped, and shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t do that to you, Toni, I know he wouldn’t. I’m sure he’s far too kind to cause you that sort of hurt.’
‘He can be most unkind - to me,’ returned Toni with perfect truth. ‘Also, he doesn’t know how I feel about him, so he’ll not expect I can be hurt.’
A quivering sigh left Pam’s lips.
‘You won’t give him an inkling? - just a tiny hint?’
‘Most certainly not. What sort of a woman would I be to throw myself at a man who cares nothing for me? We married because we had to and neither expected to be troubled by emotions. It was a coldly arranged marriage of sheer necessity. We were strangers and at that time intended remaining strangers. That Daros eventually acted as he did was, I must confess, partly my fault—’
‘Partly?’
A flush spread over Toni’s face.
‘All right, then, it was wholly my fault. But what I’m trying to prove is that, basically, the position hasn’t changed.’
Pam nodded dejectedly.
‘You mean that it won’t make him love you.’
‘That’s just what I mean. With love we must have something spiritual, and we — Daros hasn’t any real depth of feeling for me, and - and he never will have, Pam, I’m very sure of that.’
The two girls lapsed into silence, listening to the children coming nearer. Toni sipped her tea, accepting a biscuit from the plate offered her by Pam. How had she come to care like this? she asked herself again. And for a man who had never by one single word or act betrayed a hint of affection, let alone anything deeper. Twice he had kissed her in a different way; those kisses had meant much to her because they were the sort of kisses that come to a wife as an assurance that desire is not the beginning and the end of the relationship between her husband and herself. Two kisses ... on which she had, unconsciously for the most part, built a world of hope destined to crumble to dust on its flimsy foundations.
‘Here they come,’ she laughed, throwing off her dejection. ‘Have you the food ready?’
‘Aunt Toni! We didn’t know you were here!’ Louise eyed the plate of biscuits and then looked at her mother.
‘One only.’
‘One!’ exclaimed Louise.
‘One each. They’re expensive.’
‘Oh, well, I’ll have bread,’ returned her daughter obligingly. ‘I like Greek bread; it’s brown and crusty and has little seeds on top.’ Louise took one biscuit and went over to the bread bin.
‘How they’ve changed!’ Pam shook her head. ‘Daros performed a miracle. Six months ago Louise would have had those biscuits - had I been able to afford them, that is,’ she added grimly, ‘and nothing I could have done would have stopped her. She’d simply have kicked and screamed until she got her own way.’
‘Daros didn’t really have much trouble with them.’ Toni spoke musingly, and an involuntary laugh escaped her as she recalled her own intention. ‘I have been a great trial to Daros,’ she was forced to add, and this naturally brought a glance of interrogation from her sister. ‘It was to help you, primarily, that I brought the children here, but I must confess I was hoping they’d give Daros hell. I hoped they would completely disrupt his whole way of living.’
‘You—!’ Pam stared, blank-faced, as well she might. ‘Toni, how could you? I remember your saying the more unruly they were the better you’d like it, and I was so puzzled.’ Pam shook her head. ‘What came over you? Why, all the family have always regarded you as the sensible, practical one who would never make blunders.’
Toni went red.
‘Never make blunders? I’ve done nothing else but make blunders since the day I met Daros. The greatest blunder,’ she owned reflectively, ‘was to underrate him. He won every time.’
‘So you’ve really done nothing but fight.’
‘It’s been a little better lately - because I’ve desisted from making his life unpleasant.’
‘You’ve had no option, by the sound of things,’ commented Pam drily, and Toni had to laugh.
‘I admit it. I’m no match for Daros.’
‘You said the children didn’t give him much trouble. How did he set about preventing them from giving him - er - hell, as you
term it?’
‘He walloped one of the boys within the first few minutes, but after that his word appeared to be sufficient. I was nursing Louise, as you know, and by the time she was better the miracle had been worked. The boys were going out of their way to please him.’
‘He loves children, that’s what it is.’ Pam gave a deep sigh, a regretful sigh, and added, ‘As things are you won’t be having children?’
‘I don’t expect Daros will complicate his marriage in case he wants his freedom. Oh, Pam, I have a dreadful feeling that he will want his freedom, In spite of your convictions to the contrary.’ But Pam was shaking her head.
‘He wouldn’t do anything dishonourable,’ she declared emphatically.
‘It wouldn’t really be dishonourable, because we never meant to stay married.’
‘It would be dishonourable, now that you’re really married, as it were. In any case, he would have to have grounds for a divorce,’ she pointed out. ‘And he hasn’t any grounds.’
Mental cruelty, thought Toni, and in spite of herself her lip quivered. Not in her wildest imagination could she see Daros Latimer putting forward grounds like that.
The boys were now sitting at the table with Louise and Toni began helping Pam with the sandwiches.
‘We’re going up to the acropolis on a donkey this afternoon,’ David informed his aunt. ‘Mummy’s treating us. It costs fifteen drachmas, but we’re rich now so it doesn’t matter. Why don’t you come with us, Aunt Toni? It’ll be fun on the donkey. ’
‘Rich!’ Pam laughed, a happy, light-hearted laugh which Toni loved to hear. ‘Yes, we are rich. It’s wonderful not to have to scrimp and scrape. And I hated having to refuse the children everything. They had sixpence a week each and even that was a pull. They were always looking forward to your gifts, Toni — though they used to spend the lot in one day.’
‘We have to save now.’ Louise took another sandwich while her mouth was still full. ‘Uncle Daros gives us some to spend and some to save. He used to give it to us every day - the money to spend - because he said we must learn to spend a little every day. But now he gives it to us on Saturday. I like Saturday. Is it time to go yet?’ she asked her mother and, without waiting for an answer, ‘Are you coming on the donkeys with us, Aunt Toni?’
‘Yes, do come,’ urged Pam. ‘Daros won’t be home today, will he?’
‘Yes, but not until this evening.’
‘He’s written?’
Toni shook her head.
‘I had a letter from Julia - Daros has been staying with his mother and Julia for part of the time - and she says he’ll be on the plane which arrives at six-thirty. His car’s at the airport so he’ll be home in time for dinner.’
‘Are you coming?’ asked Robbie. ‘There aren’t many people on the donkeys because the tourists have nearly all gone home.’ ‘Very well, I’ll come.’
‘I hope I don’t fall off the donkey,’ said Louise rather fearfully. ‘That road is awf
ul steep.’
It was steep, and narrow for part of the way. Through the quaintly cobbled streets they went, and out into the open where the steep path took them almost to the top of the headland, the last few hundred feet having to be done on foot.
‘Isn’t the view fantastic!’ Toni and Pam stood by the wall and looked down on to the little white town clinging to the hillside. Far below was the circle that formed the enchanting little harbour of Apostle Paul, landlocked except for the tiny opening that gave fishing- boat passage only. The sandy stretch of palm-fringed beach was golden and deserted, and right at the end Daros’s house looked warm and mellow and inviting. Out from the shore fishing boats bobbed about as without warning a swell began to stir the sea.
‘I think it’s going to rain.’ Pam glanced up at the sky. Clouds were gathering and the change became dramatic as a greyness enveloped the sacred precincts.
‘Perhaps we’d better hurry,’ advised Toni. ‘It certainly does look as if we’re in for a storm.’ Nevertheless the rain did keep off, and the atmosphere was warm, and scented by the herbs growing in profusion among the ruins of temples and vaults and the fortifications of the Knights. A charming little Byzantine chapel built in the thirteenth century still bore on its walls parts of the frescoes that had so beautifully adorned it seven centuries ago.
‘We’re going up that spiral staircase. We won’t get lost.’ David ran up to the girls and stayed just long enough to say those few words and then he was off again. The next glimpse of him Toni and Pam had was when he waved and shouted from a window of the chapel.
‘They’re certainly enjoying themselves,’ laughed Toni. ‘What energy!’
The great arcade of the Temple of Athena Lindia was the next playground for the children; they ran up and down the steps until they were breathless, while Pam and Toni went on to explore the Propylaea, the fine entrance to the temple. And then they were in the temple itself, or what remained of it.
‘Just think, Pam, this is over two thousand years old!’
‘The original temple was built much earlier,’ Pam stated knowledgeably. ‘Weren’t they clever and artistic? And the size of these columns - how did they do it, without cranes and things!’
‘Slaves,’ returned her sister briefly.’
For another hour they wandered about and then Pam called the children, who came at once.
‘Must we go?’ asked Robbie. ‘I like it up here.’
‘We’ll come again.’
‘On the donkeys?’
‘You’re young enough to walk,’ teased Pam.
‘All right,’ said David accommodatingly. ‘We’ll walk next time.’
After staying at Pam’s long enough to help her with the supper Toni made her way down the stony path towards the road. She felt suddenly lost and lonely, reflecting on her unsatisfying relationship with Daros, and torturing herself with the idea of his wanting to end the marriage and make his life with Olivia.
Greeks hated divorce, but Daros wasn’t all Greek. Nevertheless, Toni felt somehow that he would not be too happy about the idea, even though he might resort to it.
‘But if we stay married,’ Toni whispered desolately, ‘what sort of life is it going to be?’
No change from what it had been, she concluded. Daros treating her with civility but not affection; regarding her as of little more importance than any other of his possessions.... This was the way in Greece. Men lived in their world apart and women were considered as greatly inferior.
It was as she was dressing that the phone rang. Daros would
not be home for dinner....
She stared at her reflection in the mirror, conscious of a disappointment far in excess of what it should have been, and Toni realized that in spite of her doleful musings she had been excited and eager at the thought of her husband’s return. He had been away a fortnight ... he might just have missed her.... What a fool she was! Missed her? And he was in Rhodes and not even troubling to come home to dinner.
Anger replaced her bitter disappointment, and after only a moment’s hesitation she rang Charitos. He was always there if she needed him, he had said, adding,
‘I’ll just be a friend, all proper and platonic, but do remember I’m here.’
He accepted her invitation and they dined by candlelight. Toni had dressed with extra care and she looked lovely in a cocktail dress of green to match her eyes. Charitos flattered her and laughed at her blushes.
‘All Greeks are flatterers,’ she said at last. ‘It doesn’t mean a thing!’
At that a strange smile appeared on his lips.
‘It just depends, Toni, on who is the flatterer. I suspect that if your husband were the flatterer you’d just lap it up and ask for more.’
‘So you’ve guessed?’
‘It isn’t difficult to read you,’ he said seriously. 'You know, English girls are rather stupid. They fall so heavily that they can’t pick themselves up in one piece. Mind you,’ he added, still on that grave inflection, ‘had you fallen for me like this I’d have felt myself the luckiest man on earth.’ She said nothing and he asked curiously, ‘Why isn’t Daros coming home? Is he with that other one?’
She swallowed hard, for her food lodged in her throat.
‘That’s the conclusion I came to, Charitos. There’s no other reason why he should stay in the city.’
‘What time will he be in?’
‘He didn’t say. He just told me not to hold dinner for him.’
‘So you concluded that he’s dining out?’
‘I don’t expect he’ll go without his dinner.’ Sudden tears misted her eyes as she looked at him. ‘He’s with her, Charitos, I know it.’ He made no comment and it struck her that this morbid attitude of hers was making her guest uncomfortable and she changed the subject, shedding her unhappiness and assuming a much more cheerful front.
They had coffee in the lounge and then Charitos made his departure. He had no sooner driven away than Toni heard another car in the drive. She glanced at the clock. Daros had not stayed long with Olivia— ‘Who was that driving away?’ Her husband’s abrupt voice cut short her musings and she found her heart beating far too rapidly as she said,
‘Charitos. I - I asked him to dinner. You’re back much sooner than I expected.’
Slowly he advanced into the room, dark and tall and somehow menacing.
‘I told you to stop seeing him!’ Anger and accusation seemed to be deeply concentrated in the accents he used, and Toni’s head went up.
‘I’ll stop seeing him when you stop seeing that woman!’
‘Woman?’
‘I’ve seen you out with her, in Rhodes. And Charitos also saw you out with her! So what you can do, I can also do. I’m going out with Charitos and you can just get used to the idea!’ She didn’t mean that, but her desire to hit back was stronger than the hurt within her. It was also stronger than her caution as she added, her green eyes flashing, ‘You’re an arrogant dictator, but I’m not afraid of you! I’ll do exactly as I like from now on!’
He stepped up to her, gripping her arms.
‘You’ll do as you’re told,’ he said between his teeth. ‘And I’m telling you - once and once only - not to see that man again. Disregard that advice and—’
‘Advice!’ she choked.
‘Order, then. Disregard it and you’ll be damned sorry for yourself!’
‘Violence again?’ She quivered with anger as she defiantly met his gaze, and with a sudden twist of her body she was free. ‘I care nothing for your threats! ’
‘You’re asking for it.’ He glowered down at her, his face crimson with fury. ‘I’ve a good mind to put you where you should be, once and for all!’
‘In my Greek woman’s place—!’ She stopped, and looked rather fearfully at him, waiting for his astonished reaction. But to her surprise he merely said quietly,
‘I guessed you understood Greek.’ The anger had evaporated, much to Toni’s amazement, but a sternness remained as he went on, �
��So you heard everything I said that day in Grandfather’s house?’
‘If I understand Greek I must have done,’ she admitted, evasion now being useless.
‘I wasn’t sure just how much Greek you understood.’ He seemed faintly amused, and Toni found herself in a state of bewilderment. True, her heart still raced and the anger was still affecting her pulse, but gradually she was becoming calm. ‘You knew what Evyania and I were talking about, evidently.’ He looked straight at her. ‘You’ve made one or two slips, you know, and I’d have been slow had I not grasped the fact of your understanding some Greek. But—’ He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry you heard all that was said,’ he ended, staggering her by the admission.
‘Wasn’t it true? Pam maintains that you couldn’t have meant
it.’
‘You’ve told Pam?’ sharply. ‘Pam knows everything?’
‘Pam was with me when I saw you in Rhodes with your woman friend.’ Tears threatened. It must be reaction, she thought, angry with herself for this weakness. ‘I had to tell her everything.’
His anger had already died, but this news completed the sobering effect. Clearly he was not pleased at the idea of Pam’s knowing he was an unfaithful husband, she thought. ‘But he doesn’t care what I think....’ The idea released the tears and she made no effort to wipe them away.
‘Pam believes I’m - having an affair?’ he queried slowly.
‘So do I!’ she flashed. ‘You were engaged to her and now you’ve found you l-love her again.’
‘I have?’ He paused a moment and then, strangely, ‘What are
the tears for, Toni?’ She could not find an answer and suddenly Daros was close to her again and speaking in a gentle, almost tender voice. ‘You wouldn’t be jealous of Olivia, would you?’ ‘Jealous?’ At that she did find something to say. ‘No such thing! Why should I be jealous of her?’
A soft smile hovered about his lips.
‘There’s no reason at all ... unless,’ he added slowly and deliberately, ‘you were in love with me.’
Her eyes flew to his. He knew, she could tell, and confusion flooded over her.
‘I’m not - I mean - how can I be in love with a - a . . .?’ Her voice trailed away into silence, for he was laughing at her, but laughing without mockery or contempt.
