Anything for You

by Kristan Higgins

  A family outing...that was new.

  "Guess what movie I saw last night, Dave?" Connor asked. "Iron Man."

  "I love Iron Man!" Davey said. "'Iron Man. That's kind of catchy. It's got a nice ring to it. I mean, it's not technically accurate. The suit's a gold...' Jess, what's the rest?"

  "'A gold titanium alloy, but it's kind of provocative, the imagery, anyway.'" Jess finished the quote for him, and Connor glanced over, a smile in his blue eyes. For a second, Jess thought about holding his hand, but didn't. It might be too much for Davey.

  And her.

  "A carriage! Look, Dad! A horse!" Though Mennonite horse and carriages were nothing new for the area, Davey always went a little nuts when he saw one, and there were plenty out today. The sky was heart-wrenching blue, fat white clouds sliding by like thoughts, and a breeze ruffled her brother's downy hair.

  There were the expected pens of calves and alpacas, as well as sheep, goats, chickens and even a herding demonstration from one of the Mennonite farmers, whose border collies were legendary. "We should've brought Chico!" Davey said, running off to see the dogs.

  "Wait, Davey," Jess called.

  "I'll go with him," Keith said. "You kids wander around. It's not big enough to get lost." He met her eyes, and she knew what he meant--if I'm screwing up, you'll be able to see it.

  "Okay," she said. "Um...thanks."

  "Alone with my woman and all this livestock," Connor said. "Think of the possibilities. Which first? Beef cattle or dairy?"

  "How about some food?" she suggested, and they followed the enticing scent of meat being cooked over an open fire.

  "Seems kind of insensitive," Connor murmured as he paid for their meals. "The barns, the barbecue pit. The cows must be doing head counts every fifteen minutes."

  Jess laughed. And this time, when they started walking again, she took his hand. It made her heart beat a little erratically, but she didn't let go, either.

  Vendors had set up booths, selling everything from sweaters made from different types of wool, to wooden bowls and spoons, to silver jewelry made from old cutlery. Jess stopped in front of a table that sold pictures from long ago. Solemn-faced people with stiff postures, unsmiling. "Who'd give up pictures of their family?" Jess wondered aloud. People who died alone, that was who. People with no kids to want the photos, no cousins, no grandchildren.

  People who ended up like she might. If she outlived Davey...

  That was a thought she never could follow to the end.

  "Come on, sweetheart," Connor said, and the endearment tugged at her insides. "Let me win you something and prove my manhood."

  "I can't wait," she said.

  "I'd prefer to prove it later, if Ned would be so kind as to watch Davey tonight," he murmured, pulling her in for a kiss.

  This was what normal people did. They kissed at fairs and held hands. He pulled back and kissed her forehead and grinned down at her.

  It was hard to look at him. There was so much in her heart, it was almost impossible to let him see all that happiness. Almost.

  He tilted his head in question. Then she stood on tiptoe and kissed him. And kissed him some more, and more after that, until the only thought in her head was Connor O'Rourke of the perfect mouth and the curly eyelashes, generous heart and strong arms.

  "So where's my prize?" she asked finally.

  "Right," he said, his eyes smoky. "Coming up, my queen."

  It was one of those little crane games that were nearly impossible to win. "Davey got stuck in one of these once," Jess mused as Connor frowned in concentration. She leaned against the glass box. "He climbed right in, and it took an hour and a half to get him out, but boy, did he have fun. They gave him eight stuffed animals."

  "Hush, woman, you're breaking my concentration," he said. "What's your preference?"

  She studied the prizes in the case. "The bunny with the bow in her hair."

  "You got it." Connor maneuvered the crane toward the stuffed animal. The crane claw opened and dropped, and it did grab something, though not the bunny. It was a plastic bubble holding something green.

  "Just what I wanted," Jess said.

  "This thing is rigged," Connor grumbled.

  "Really? Go figure."

  The bubble dropped into the dispenser. Inside the container was a tiny little plastic creature with fangs and a tuft of green hair. It was quite cheerful. "I love it," she said.

  "What did you win? What is it, Jess?" Davey said, careening over, his face sticky with cotton candy.

  "It's a little green monster," she said.

  "Can I have it?"

  "Not this time," she said, looking at Connor. "This one's for me. What should we name it?"

  "Yoshi," Davey said instantly.

  "Let me see if I can win you something, Davey," Keith said, and so it was that Davey ended up with the bunny, and Jess with Yoshi, the little alien monster.

  "You want to trade?" Davey asked sweetly, knowing she liked rabbits.

  "Not on your life," Jessica said. "Connor won this for me."

  "It was difficult, yes, but the spoils of war were worth it," Connor murmured.

  "And Dad won that for you," she said.

  Her father stopped abruptly, then continued walking. His eyes were on the ground, but he looked up for a second, and she saw that those eyes were full of tears.

  Oh.

  She'd called him Dad.

  First time in about twenty years. And she didn't want to take it back, either. She smiled at him a little, and something shifted inside her, like a shade lifting from a window, flooding the room with light.

  *

  CONNOR INVITED THE Dunn family to eat at O'Rourke's that night, despite the sickening amount of food Davey had eaten at the fair. The kid could use some vegetables; Connor was hoping to get a salad in him after the cotton candy, three hot dogs and caramel corn he'd managed to consume.

  He was on in the kitchen, at his best, a fast, smooth rhythm with Rafe and the servers, one of those nights when everything was going perfectly. The menu was gorgeous--seared scallops in a cilantro remolata and ginger-lime beurre blanc; filet mignon with a mustard cognac sauce; the Kobe truffle burger with shallots and Roma tomatoes, in addition to the O'Rourke's classics. Connor chopped, sliced, seared, roasted, plated and stirred, barely hearing his cousins call out the orders, but registering them nonetheless. In the Zen, Colleen called it.

  Rafe's strawberry shortcake with Devonshire cream was a huge hit, as was the homemade ice cream with caramelized ginger and seared apples. Colleen wasn't working tonight, but Jordan seemed to be holding her own, Monica helping her out from time to time.

  And every time Connor looked out the kitchen window, he saw his woman.

  Jeremy Lyon had joined the Dunns, which was nice, because without him, Jess might've felt a little uncomfortable--outed as his girlfriend, dining with her father, the former town drunk. But Jeremy was a master at putting people at ease. Even Prudence and Carl stopped by the table to talk.

  It was pretty damn nice to be able to look at Jess and not have her pretend he was just her old buddy from high school. Nice that Davey didn't freak out at the sight of him. Nice that Keith was only drinking water.

  "You should go out there and take a bow," Rafe said around nine-thirty, when the orders had slowed. "You were incredible tonight."

  Connor usually hated doing that, but tonight was different.

  He washed his hands, took off his apron and went into the restaurant. "Bravo, Chef!" Pru called, and sure enough, the restaurant patrons burst into applause.

  Connor rolled his eyes and smiled, gave a little nod, then went over to Jessica's booth. "How was everything tonight?" he asked.

  "Excellent, Connor, absolutely fantastic," Jeremy said, and Keith nodded in agreement.

  "It was good," Davey said. "I had nachos and chili."

  But Connor was really just asking Jessica. She didn't answer, just looked up at him with those beautiful green cat's eyes, and smiled.
>
  His woman. In his restaurant. And everyone knew it.

  He leaned over and kissed her, getting a little more applause from the bar regulars. She didn't pull away.

  "I always thought you two were a great couple," Jeremy said smugly, reaching for his wallet. "Let me get this."

  "Dinner's on the house tonight," Connor said. "And I better get back in the kitchen. See you later." Again, his eyes met Jessica's.

  A perfect day. That's what today had been.

  He'd drop by her place later, see if she was still up. If not, he'd stare at her window, because why not, right? He was stupid with love. No shame in that.

  It was past midnight (late by Manningsport standards) when Connor turned off the kitchen lights. He'd sent everyone else home.

  But something didn't feel right. Someone was still here.

  A noise came from the back. From the ladies' room, specifically.

  Connor walked back and knocked on the door. "Hello? We're closing," he said.

  A squeaky sound came from inside. Then someone cleared her throat. "Just a second."

  Water ran and was turned off, and then the door opened.

  "Jordan. I thought you went home."

  "On my way."

  Her eyes were red. Ah, shit. She'd been crying.

  "Is everything okay?" he asked, and immediately wished he hadn't, because her face crumpled, and tears practically popped out of her eyes, and that squeaky sound came out of her like hiccups. "Oh, hey," he said. "Come on, sit down."

  He guided her to the nearest table. Got her some napkins to dab her face. She failed to dab. Got her a glass of water, which she didn't drink. She just sat there and cried.

  Where was Colleen when he needed her?

  "Jordan," he asked, "what happened, kid? Was someone mean to you?"

  "Yes!"

  "Who?"

  "You!"

  "What?"

  "I love you and you have no idea," she wept. "It's so hard working here. I should quit."

  Connor tried not to wince. "Uh...hey. There, there." He handed her a napkin. Her eyes produced quite a few tears. Quite a few.

  "I'm completely invisible to you. You're dating that goddess, and of course you don't notice someone like me. That would never happen, and I'm so stupid. I'm so, so stupid, but from the second I saw you--"

  "No, no," Connor said, just hoping to keep her from saying anything else. "Listen, you're not... It's not... You're..."

  Young. Innocent. Sweet. Really, really young, though. She was what...twelve years younger than he was? Barely legal for her to bartend.

  He thought of Savannah, with her crush on the kid with the dopey name.

  "You're not invisible," he said gently, handing her another napkin. She took this one. "Not at all. I definitely see you."

  "No, you don't."

  "Sure, I do. You're a really good kid."

  "I'm twenty-one."

  Okay. An infant. "No, I know that. But you're very...nice, Jordan."

  "You don't even know me."

  "You're hardworking, you're always cheerful, you're a little shy, but hell, all the guys love you. Gerard, Ned, Jeremy, Mr. Iskin, all our regulars. They think you're great."

  Her eyebrows raised.

  "And you're very pretty, Jordan. You are. I mean, come on. You must have a mirror." He smiled.

  "You would never go for someone like me."

  Danger, brother mine, said Colleen's voice in his head. "You're probably right," he said, and her face fell again. "But not because of you. It's because I've been in love with Jess since I was in sixth grade. That's twenty-one years. That's your entire lifetime. Kind of pathetic, isn't it?"

  "Totally," she said, taking a sip of water.

  "Most of that time...like, ninety-nine percent of that time, we haven't been together. We're a little..."

  "Star-crossed?" she suggested.

  "Inept, I was going to say."

  "But you're together now," she said.

  "Yeah. Finally."

  Jordan's eyes filled again. "I can't imagine someone waiting that long for me."

  "Well, you're young. And I think you're one of those girls who, uh...who doesn't know how great she is just yet. Who doesn't see what everyone else sees."

  "And what's that?" she whispered, wiping her nose.

  "That you're very kind. And loyal, and dedicated." Sounded like he was describing a dog. "And you know, you listen to people. You do. I've seen it. People can talk to you. I can guarantee you're going to meet someone who sees how special you are."

  She looked at him through her red-rimmed eyes. "Really?"

  "Yeah. Absolutely. He's probably already met you and is just waiting for you to get over your crush on some old cook."

  She smiled wetly. "Yeah, right."

  "Trust me. I've been a boy mooning over a girl. I can sense these things."

  She blotted her eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry."

  "It's okay."

  "Don't fire me."

  "I won't."

  She blinked at him a few times, then smiled. "You're really nice, Connor."

  "Let's keep that between us." He stood up and offered his hand, which she took. "Can I walk you home? You live in the Opera House, right?"

  "It's, like, thirty feet away. I'm good, Connor."

  "Yes. You are. See you tomorrow."

  She let go of him and smiled. "Yes, Chef."

  *

  TEN MINUTES LATER, Connor was knocking gently on Jessica's door. She answered almost right away.

  "Hi," she whispered.

  "Hi."

  "Hi," said her neighbor, who never seemed to sleep. He was smoking on the front porch, the tip of his cigarette glowing in the dark.

  "Good night, Ricky," Jess said, pulling Connor into the kitchen. "No lasagna tonight?"

  "I already fed you."

  "So you did. Listen, Davey's not asleep yet, and he's a little overstimulated from today, so you can't stay. I'm sorry."

  "It's okay. I just wanted to look at you."

  She smiled. "Is that all?"

  "No. Other things, too." He leaned in and kissed her, felt her palm against his heart.

  "Jess?" came Davey's voice from upstairs. "Jess?"

  She broke off the kiss and held her finger to her lips. "Yes?" she called, not looking away from Connor.

  "Where's my Wonder Woman comic book?"

  She winced.

  "Wonder Woman, huh?" Connor whispered. "He has great taste in women."

  She rolled her eyes and turned to the stairs. "It's probably in your night-table drawer or under your disgusting pile of clothes."

  "Found it!" Davey called. "Don't come upstairs for a while."

  It was Connor's turn to wince.

  "He's twenty-six," Jess said with a shrug. "Healthy American male in love with Wonder Woman."

  So was Connor. A different type of wonder woman, but essentially the same. "Want to sit in the backyard and look at the stars?" he asked.

  She looked at him for a long minute. "You're quite a romantic, aren't you?"

  "That's just a rumor. I'm really big and scary. You want to or not?"

  And so it was that the perfect day ended on a blanket in Jessica's small backyard, Jess on one side of him, Chico Three on the other, the stars so clear and bright overhead it seemed like everything Connor had ever wanted had been granted by a smiling, benevolent god.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  THINGS ARE GOING WELL.

  The second the thought came into her head, Jess tried to dismiss it. It was the kiss of death, thinking that.

  But things were actually going well.

  Davey was sometimes still a little grumpy about Connor if he thought about it. He'd sulk if Jess told him she was going out to see Connor, but having Ned around was a godsend.

  When Connor came by, he always brought Lady Fluffy. The name made Jessica laugh every time Connor said it. Chico Three loved the tiny dog, who looked rather like a stuffed animal with its bright eyes and
cottony fur, and it made Davey howl with laughter to watch the two dogs chasing each other.

  Her father was still sober. Since the fair, he'd been coming around more and more, mostly to see Davey, always supervised by herself, Ned or Gerard. One of these days, she might let him take Davey somewhere, but she'd been in the car too many times herself as a child, arm braced across Davey as her father took a turn too fast and too wide. So while it was a future possibility, she wasn't rushing into anything there.

  And between her boarder and her raise, and her two nights a week at Hugo's, she'd finally saved up enough to really look for a house. Being terrified of poverty, she actually had more than she needed for a healthy down payment, because she wanted to have a solid rainy-day fund, in case the day came when she no longer worked at Blue Heron.

  That day might come. She couldn't escape the sinking sensation she felt every time she saw Marcy with one of the Hollands, ass-kissing and complimenting, not to mention that barking, omnipresent laugh. But brides especially adored her, and the Barn schedule was packed full, every event going off without a hitch.

  But Marcy was also still encroaching on Jessica's territory. She'd made a short video of the vineyard, even though Jess had scheduled a film crew to do just that. "I just thought it'd be good to have something now, while the season is really busy," Marcy said during a staff meeting.

  "Well, I'm not sure we need an amateur video when a professional crew is coming in July," Jess countered. She'd chosen July for good reason; Blue Heron was hosting a hot air balloon festival, and the first haying was scheduled for that same week. The footage would be gorgeous.

  "It'll just be a placeholder," Marcy said, dismissing Jess with a wave of her hand. "And listen, it's pretty good for an amateur video! I kid you not! You might even want to save the moolah, Honor, and just stick with mine. Ah ha! Ah ha! Ah ha ha ha!"

  It was hard to argue with Marcy without making herself seem petty. So Jess let it go, or tried to. Kept her head down and kept working, hoping it would be enough. She didn't know how to work a crowd or promote herself. She didn't really want to, either.

  *

  ON TUESDAY EVENING, she met Connor at Scoop, the ice-cream shop that had just opened on the green. It was his night off, and their fourth official date. Ice cream for dinner--a good start. They ate their cones--strawberry for her, chocolate fudge for him--and walked through the little downtown, past Lorelei's, the antiques store, the new custom furniture place. Nice stuff in the window, Jess thought. The kind of stuff she'd buy for her house someday, graceful, sleek furniture made from beautiful grained wood. Probably cost a fortune.