She forced a breath into her lungs. “I wish we could go in late, just so we could enjoy this a little while longer.”
For a second, hurt flickered in his eyes. “You make it sound like we’ll never be together again.”
Kate slid from the bed and donned her robe, pulling the belt tight. A huge lump lodged itself in her already raw throat, but she forged on. “What we shared was wonderful, but we can’t do this again.”
He jumped up and marched around the bed to her, grabbing her shoulders. “Why?”
“You want an itemized list?”
He crossed his arms and arched a brow.
“That was a rhetorical question,” she said.
“One I want an answer for.”
“Fine. You’re my boss. I have emotional baggage a mile high. I have kids to consider, my family. And I know you’ve been through so much already, but you’re still so young and—”
“Good God, here we go with the age thing again.” He turned away, pacing the room. “Exactly how young do you think I am?”
“I assume early twenties.”
The expression of horror on his face as his jaw dropped would have been comical at any other time. “Are you serious? Jeez, Kate, do you think I skipped medical school entirely?”
“Gladys said you graduated early.”
“I did. three years early, not ten! I’ll be thirty in four months.”
That shocked her. “You’re thirty?”
“In four months. Let’s not push it.”
She stared at him, searching for some physical evidence he was telling the truth. As his words sank in, she couldn’t help but grin—and feel incredibly stupid. Had she really fought the attraction so hard that she convinced herself he was so young?
Apparently. And in the end, it hadn’t made a damn bit of difference.
“Would you like to see my driver’s license?” His mouth twisted in annoyance.
“Hey, cut me some slack. I’ve seen the way you are with women. Until you told me you were married, I thought you were still a virgin.”
“Oh, now you’re just being mean. Did it ever occur to you to just ask?”
“Honestly, you don’t look anywhere close to thirty, so no, it didn’t.”
He let out a sigh. “Okay, I can understand how appearances can be deceiving. No one would ever guess you’re forty-six and—”
Kate held up her hand. “Whoa! Whoa! Who told you that?”
Jake’s lip lifted into that damn sexy grin of his. “Gladys.”
“And you believed her?” She stomped over and swatted his arm. “For the record, I just turned forty.”
From the way he contorted his mouth, she could tell he was attempting to hide a knowing smile.
“What else did she say?”
He raised his hands in submission. “I don’t want to start a cat fight between my nurses.”
“You tell me, or I swear I’ll call Jane Ricks and tell her you miss her.”
His face lost all humor. “That’s not funny.”
“It will be for me.”
“Okay, okay. She said you’re not a natural blonde.”
Kate’s teeth ground against her cheek. That bitch!
“Hey, calm down.” He winked. “I’ve seen proof she was mistaken.”
Heat attacked every inch of her body. Yes, he would know. And the thought made her lustful all over again.
God, she’d missed this. Their friendly arguing. His teasing. The way he made her smile so easily one minute, then want to jump him the next.
“You can’t deny we have a great relationship, Kate.”
“Yes, we do, but do you really see this going anywhere?”
The determination on his face slipped. “It’s kind of soon to worry about that.”
Kate raised her hand to brush his cheek, if for no other reason than to brush away the sudden sadness on his face, but thought better of it. She dropped it to her side again. “You’re forgetting your list, Jake. You want to start a family. I already have mine.”
He sank to the edge of her bed, and she knew reality had finally set in.
“I guess you’re right,” he said softly.
Kate clutched the lapels of her robe, feeling suddenly awkward to have him in her bedroom. “I really should get dressed. I know how you are with people who are late.”
That got a grin, but a sad one. “We can still carpool if you want.”
She nodded. What could it hurt? Even if she declined, she’d still have to face him every day.
Jake stood and headed out. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
The urge to reassure him, even on some level, had her calling his name. “Jake.”
He paused at the door and turned to face her.
“Last night really was amazing.”
“Yeah, it really was.”
Her eyes never left him as he closed the door.
***
Jake drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, attempting to find an inner calm as Kate slid into his car. Kind of hard when his insides were in massive turmoil.
“All buckled in?”
Kate clicked her seatbelt into place. “Yup.”
Couldn’t she at least pretend to be upset?
God, how could he be so stupid, thinking he could convince her to have a real relationship with him?
Her and that damn list.
But how could he argue? If they gave it a shot and then their relationship went south, she’d have to face the possibility of having to find another job. She had kids to think about, a home, a family.
Then he had his list. A wife. A child of his own. He knew what that meant. The likelihood of numerous procedures with a slim chance of success. Something Kate wasn’t willing or maybe even unable to tolerate.
How was he going to deal with this? He couldn’t fire her. He sure as hell wasn’t going to move. So he’d just have to suck it up and carry on with his life.
Just like he’d decided when he moved out here.
Eventually he’d find someone who’d make him happy. They’d settle down and try to start a family. His time with Kate would fade to a happy memory.
Yeah, bullshit. Maybe in a few years, but right now, the way he’d made her writhe was fresh in his mind. He’d never had a partner respond so passionately.
“What are you looking so smug about?” Kate asked.
Jake sat forward and gripped the wheel. So much for appearing unscathed. “Nothing.”
“Yeah, right. Spill it.”
He tugged at the collar of his Harry Potter T-shirt. “I’d really rather not.”
Kate placed a hand on his knee. Damn woman. Didn’t she have a clue what that did to him?
“Jake, I’d really like us to try to make sure what happened doesn’t affect our friendship.”
“Okay, fine. I was thinking about the way I made you scream last night.”
She snatched her hand away and hugged her purse, fiddling with the strap. “You weren’t so quiet yourself, Doctor.”
Of course not. Not only hadn’t he had sex since his ex-wife, he’d longed for this woman since she called him ‘young man’ in the emergency room. “No, I wasn’t.”
She hugged her pocketbook tighter. “This is going to be weird.”
Yeah, it would be, but they had to deal with it. What choice did they have? “Once we get through today, we’ll be fine.”
“You really believe that?”
No.
He offered her a smile he hoped was both reassuring and confident. “Yeah. Piece of cake.”
***
Piece of cake.
Sure, no problem. Just pretend like the amazing night of sex with her only other lover had never happened.
Simple.
Yeah, maybe for Jake. Not so much for her. Even though she knew this was the smart thing to do, the most realistic, she couldn’t help but wish they had a little more time together.
Kate shook her thoughts aside as she followed Jake through the rear
entrance of the Victorian. This was silly. She knew why she felt this way. Any time her boys were away, loneliness took over. Jake saved her from that last night.
That’s all it was.
“Good morning.” Gladys poked her head out of the exam room closest to the back door.
“Good morning, Gladys. I’ll be in my office.” Jake made a beeline down the hall.
Kate forced herself not to watch him go. Instead, she offered a smile to her friend. “Hey.”
Gladys’s brown eyes widened. “Oh my God, you slept with Jake.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
AIR RUSHED from Kate’s lungs. How the hell did she do that? “What? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Hmm, not exactly a denial, is it?” Gladys crossed her arms, studying Kate with those oh-so-observant eyes. “You’re late. You’re never late. And you arrived together. Something else that never happens.”
Great. She recognized that I’m onto something look and so did everyone else in the office. It wouldn’t be long before they were hounding Gladys for new juicy gossip.
With a sigh, Kate took her friend’s arm and nudged her into the exam room. She might as well tell her. Maybe Gladys was nosy and often made up facts just to fill in the gaps, but she’d never betrayed a confidence.
She closed the door. “Okay, yes. I spent the night with Jake.”
Gladys’ arms and jaw dropped. Her eyes rounded to twice their size. But she said nothing.
That alone was a definite cause for worry.
As the seconds ticked by and her friend stood there, sucking in breaths while opening and closing her mouth like someone trying to sneeze, Kate grew concerned.
“Gladys? Please say something.”
“That’s just it. I’m not sure what to say.”
Wow, that bad? “Then tell me what thoughts are going through your mind.”
“My first impulse is to slap you upside the head and demand to know what the hell you were thinking. Although, it’s obvious you weren’t.”
Hmm, slapping someone had a nice ring to it. “And your second thought?”
Her friend placed her hand on Kate’s wrist. “That you’ve been the happiest I’ve seen you in years since Jake came into town.”
Her annoyance slipped away, replaced with uncertainty. “Has it been that obvious?”
“To me, yes.”
“Help me out here.” Kate propped herself against the exam table. “I don’t know what to do.”
Gladys raised her hands in a helpless gesture. “I honestly don’t know how to advise you. I hate seeing you so stressed, so sad. But he’s young and wants to start a family.”
“I know. We’ve been through that discussion. So we decided it will never happen again.”
Gladys’ brow furrowed as she shook her head.
“What? Please tell me.” Kate had never seen Gladys so disjointed before.
“I want to say you made the right decision, but—” Her eyes welled. She grabbed a tissue from the box sitting next to the sink. “It was just so wonderful to see you finally happy again.”
A strong sense of love for her friend warmed her, but she had to know the reality. “Thank you for caring, but it would’ve been short-lived.”
“Maybe.”
Kate turned to leave, but stopped when a cool hand settled on her arm. Gladys’s tears were gone, replaced with a soft grin. “Keep this in mind. Sometimes it’s okay to just live for the moment.”
With a wink, her friend left, leaving Kate alone to contemplate her words.
***
The cool gray afternoon fit Kate’s mood as she stared at the weather, spitting rain against the waiting room window. They had just seen their last patient, and everyone was packing it in for the evening.
The day sucked. She’d thought it would get easier as the hours ticked by. Instead, melancholy had kidnapped her and tied her to a chair.
Why did her acceptance of not being with Jake bug her so much? It seemed like a simple decision. Maybe if Gladys had agreed, Kate wouldn’t feel so unsure about it.
Jake hadn’t helped, either. He’d been so nice today, joking around with everyone. She didn’t know which was worse, the forced professional relationship or the easy-going one.
Turning from the window, she headed to his office. And now came the fun part of sitting alone with him on the drive home.
She stopped at his open door. Jake sat at his desk, slumped back in his chair and staring into space, his face a mask of despondency.
He looked like he just lost his best friend. Why was he so sad? Kate didn’t fool herself into thinking it had anything to do with her and what they’d decided that morning. Her hope that having sex would satisfy their desperate need for each other had apparently worked on him.
For her? Not so much.
“Jake?”
He jerked in his chair, the angst on his face disappearing into a smile. “Ready to go?”
She wanted to smack him. Demand he be as bummed as she’d been all day. Instead, she nodded and left to get her purse.
Neither spoke as they walked through the empty parking lot. They settled into the car, but instead of turning the ignition, Jake gripped the wheel. “Kate…”
“Yes?” Her heart leapt at the husky tone of his voice.
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Turning to her, he grinned and started the car. “Never mind. It’s not important.”
She wanted to push him, to find out why he was acting so bipolar, but he didn’t give her a chance as he turned on the radio and sang along to The Beatles’ Abbey Road CD.
By the time he pulled into his driveway, Kate was ready to bolt from the car. If only her body would listen to her brain, but it remained stubborn. Despite their mutual agreement to keep their relationship platonic, Jake’s deep baritone voice still gave her shivers, and the woodsy cologne reminded her of when she’d buried her face in his neck as her body quaked from her second orgasm.
The instant the car stopped, she had her hand on the door handle. “Thanks for the ride.” God, she hoped her voice sounded cheerier to him than it did in her own head.
“Kate, wait…”
With the door slightly open, she turned to him.
He peered out the driver’s side window, his hand rubbing up and down his bouncing thigh. He clearly had something to say, but no words left his lips.
“Jake, what is it?”
He balled his hand into a fist before turning to her with that damn smile. “Are we carpooling tomorrow?”
She’d hoped he wouldn’t ask her that. The idea of starting and ending the day alone with him in the confined space would be torture on her nerves. But what excuse could she give without seeming pathetic?
“Sure, just so long as you don’t expect me to get up at six.”
His smile melted somewhat at her poor choice of words. His eyes shifted to her lips. He was thinking about waking her up this morning. She was sure of it.
“No, seven’s fine.”
She hopped from the car, running through the annoying drizzle to her front door. For the first time in her life, she was glad her boys weren’t home as her vision blurred.
Marching into her family room, she grabbed a tissue from the coffee table, assuring herself that her tears were a good thing. She needed to purge these silly feelings.
The evening wore on. She’d taken a bath, hoping it would ease the tension in her shoulders, but even the gentle massage of the tub’s jets couldn’t ease the stiffness.
After drying off and donning her fluffy white robe, Kate reheated a plate of linguini and sauce, but spent most of dinnertime swirling it around her fork.
Eventually she gave up, throwing out her dinner and now wishing Alex and Drew were there to make her smile, to remind her of what life was all about. She cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed the counters, but cleaning didn’t have the usual calming effect. Tugging the garbage bag from the trashcan, she blinked away the burning in her eyes as she tied it into a knot. This
was Drew’s job. Doing it herself made her miss him even more.
She slid the back door open and stepped onto her patio. The rain had turned from a drizzle to a steady downpour. She made a mad dash to the side of the house where the trash bins were. In her haste, she’d forgotten to turn on the perimeter lights, but she didn’t go back, hoping to just toss the bag into the can and get back inside. The plush material of her robe drank the rain within seconds, making it heavy on her skin.
Then she saw Jake dragging his garbage to the curb. When he noticed her, he jerked to a stop then gave her a small wave.
She returned it. “I’m glad I saw you. I’d forgotten tomorrow was collection day.”
He offered a quick smile and got back to his task. She followed suit, that feeling of awkwardness returning with full force.
Neither said a word as they walked back and forth through the rain, most of the garbage consisting of debris left over from the storm.
Damn that tornado.
After her last trip to the curb, she nodded to Jake, eager to get inside and rid herself of the water-soaked robe—and the perpetual sense of loss. “See you in the morning.”
Heading for the backyard, she tried to keep her eyes from straying to him again.
“Kate…”
Oh, here we go again. Did he have to do this in the rain? She spun around and fisted her hands at her hips. “Jake, you’ve been itching to say something since we left work. Just spit it out.”
Even in the dark, she could see the anger on his face. “I hate those fucking lists.”
Kate stared at him. His lips formed a tight line. Rain soaked him as well, wetting his hair to almost black. Her list. His. The reasons keeping them apart. But they had to face them, accept them. Her head told her so. Otherwise they would only encounter heartache in the end.
Then Jake turned away, and her heart took over.
“I hate them, too!”
He stopped and jerked around. God, he looked so sexy, standing in the rain, his shirt plastered against his amazing chest. His sweats hugging his powerful thighs.
He said nothing.
She wanted him. In her arms, in her bed. Even if it was only for a little while. “Screw the lists.”
Crazy Little Thing Called Matchmaking Page 20
