by P. A. Jones
"You’re making this up. I know you. You can't love anyone else." His face changed, becoming dark. He clearly didn't believe me. Actually, I couldn't believe my own words. What the heck I was saying? Did I mean those words, or had I just said them to irk him? I thanked God for meeting Noah. But love…that was a huge L word in my dictionary. The one I swore never to say to anyone after breaking up with Eddie.
“I love Noah, Eddie. Not you,” I told him.
"Don't say that, Julie. I love you, and you love me back."
I pulled my phone and called 911 in front of him. He looked at the phone, and stepped back.
"I'm staying in the Parrision hotel three blocks away from here. I'm here until you change your mind." He walked away, and I disconnected the call. I needed some time to think.
Chapter 23
Noah
I got up from the kitchen table. "Thanks, Sam. Thanks for clearing the doubt from my mind. I was going to make a big mistake and lose Julie. Now that the misunderstanding is cleared, I can resolve the issue before it gets worse.” I felt relaxed again. It was like someone just lifted a stone, measuring one ton, from my chest.
"I suggest giving her some time. Clear your head, and meet her in the morning. That will give her some time as well to think," Sam added.
"You’re right. I shall wait until morning. It's just couple of hours remaining. It can't hurt," I said, and walked back to my bedroom. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep in those two hours. Still, I tried.
I woke up as the phone rang. It was Nina.
"Nina! Good morning. I didn't expect a call from you this early."
"I called you to inform you about the cancellation of today's appointment."
"What appointment?" I asked.
"Come on, Noah. Have you already forgotten? Is this the effect of new gal in your life?"
"Oh, yes. I'm sorry, I completely forgot about it. And you’re right, it was because of her only, but in a bad way." I told her what happened last night.
"Tell me one thing, Noah. Do you like her so much that you’re going to apologize to her?"
"Because she makes me comfortable when I’m with her. I just can’t think about anything else. That's not the only thing I like about her. I'm myself when she’s around, and not a hot-headed billionaire." I never had to think twice about Julie. And I was eager to make this right with her. "Do you know how I met her?" I asked.
"No actually, we never discussed that."
"I stumbled upon her, and I thought I saw Tonya again. Same purple eyes, same style of hair in a pony tail. I hated her, at first. I hated her so much that I was trying my best to make her resign from her job. But then Julie happened. And I realized that she had much more than Tonya. She was a completely different person, a warm and kind one. Who understood me for who I was, not trying to change me, the way Tonya was." I took a break to breathe. "Wow. I like a lot, don't I?" A little phone conversation was making me realize how much I adored Julie.
"Is that enough?" Nina asked.
"What do you mean by that?" She wasn't making any sense.
"Tonya You loved Tonya first, didn't you? Do you think Julie has any former lovers?”
"Why do you ask, Nina? Don't you know what she did to me? She cheated on me! She fucked two men right in front of me. What could she have done that would be worse?” My nerve popped again.
"The thought of Julie with someone else bothers, you doesn’t it?"
"It won’t change my mind." Damn sure, I was all-in for her.
"Just answer my question."
"I don't like women who’ve slept with other men. I wanted Tonya to remain exclusive. Heck, I remained exclusive to her, so how could she not do the same with me? Was I asking too much?" People should remain exclusive after marriage. We were a couple from our childhood. Dad had made sure of that.
"You realize that Julie could’ve slept with someone else before. Did you even ask her to remain exclusive to you yet? And did she agree?" Nina was going deeper now.
"Why wouldn’t she?" Nina got me thinking. She was right. I never talked with Julie about this. Heck, we had just found out we were so close. Well…she didn’t say that yet, but I just assumed that she was feeling the same way I did.
"Because the world is like that, Noah. You slept with twenty-seven different women before Julie. Did anyone ask you about exclusivity?"
"No."
"Some people just need sex, and no attachment. What if Julie wants only that? Would you let her go, then?" she asked.
I shook my head. "No. I can't let her go. I don't care for her past. I’ll just ask her to remain exclusive, forever.”
"Are you talking about the forever-forever?" she cheered up. "It’s strange coming out of your mouth. And it contradicts your emotions for Tonya."
"You’re right. With Julie, I want her to be with me always, and I don't care with whom she slept in the past. But with Tonya, it was different. I was so possessive about her. I just wanted to make her agree to whatever I said. But why was I like that? Didn't I love her from the bottom of my heart?" I was questioning my own desires now.
Nina thought for a moment. "I think you never loved Tonya. Think of love at the surface. You love your Uncle Sam, but that love came from the roots of a blood relationship. If he wasn't your uncle, you might have just hated him. Now Tonya was forced on you, wasn't she?"
"Yes. My dad wanted me to marry her, and that's what I thought was right. And I thought she also wanted that, so I always knew that she would be my wife, and my duty was to love her as a good husband."
The truth was coming now. I loved Tonya because I had to. It wasn't my choice. But when it came to Julie, it was my choice to love her.
"You’re right, Nina. I never liked her in first place. She was there because my dad wanted her to be. If I had been given a choice, I would’ve chosen someone with a less arrogant attitude. I never liked her ego, attitude and rudeness. But I always thought it was my job to get along with her and marry her at the end. Guess I was wrong about it from the start."
"I'm happy that you realize this. And I guess Julie is the girl for you. For the first time in the last couple of years, I'm seeing you happy. She has helped you to understand yourself, and you shouldn’t let her go for foolish reasons."
"Thanks, Nina. I won't." She made me think. I liked Julie more than I thought. I was even struggling with the word…love…now.
"Go and get her, tiger." For the first time, Nina sounded sure in the whole conversation.
"Thanks. I'm going there now."
***
Julie's apartment seemed far away. I drove as fast I could. I needed to catch her in her apartment, only because I wanted to apologize to her and beg her not to be angry.
I parked my bike outside her apartment, in whatever parking spot I found that was empty. I might get a ticket for parking in wrong spot, but I didn't care. I rang her apartment bell constantly. I couldn't wait anymore. The bell rang for almost a minute, but no one answered.
"I guess you’re Noah Rich." A man walked out of the shadows, behind her apartment.
"Who are you?" He irked me by his tone.
"I'm Eddie. Julie's boyfriend." He smirked.
"I didn’t think she had a boyfriend." My fingers clenched together
"Just because she slept with you?" He raised his eyebrows.
How did he know that we slept together? "Who are you again?"
"I told you, I'm her boyfriend. We had a fight, and she came here to L.A., running. But easy tiger, we have sorted things out now. I suggest you walk away. If you want to hear it from Julie, then come with me." He opened the door with a key from his pocket.
No. This can't be possible. How could it be? Julie had a boyfriend? She never mentioned it to me. But then, I never asked her about that. Fuck! Fuck! All the light I was seeing at the other end vanished in a blink. A bitter pain of losing her carved my heart.
This can't be happening. He isn’t telling the truth. Julie can't do this to me. He must be lyi
ng. But then, how did he get the key to Julie's apartment?
I shook my head. “No. That’s fine. I’ll leave now.” I turned away in a robotic motion. I didn't even know how I started the bike and went back to my house. My life had drowned in a big old river once again.
Chapter 24
Noah
"Hey man, have you seen Julie?" I asked Tony the next morning at the club. I knew his name, but from the day I saw him talking with Julie, I disliked him. I knew he wasn't trying to hit on her, but you don't talk to my gal. Otherwise, you face my wrath. Still, he was Julie’s friend, and could know where she was, since she wasn’t at the club.
"Not since yesterday. Is there anything wrong, Noah?" He looked concerned.
"Nothing like that. I didn't see her this morning, that’s all." I had already looked at the therapy floor, but she wasn't there as well. From the moment I met Eddie in front of her house, I was put in a difficult situation. My brain was telling me he was right. But my heart wasn't ready to accept the fact that he was her boyfriend. I just don't know how I spent my day yesterday. I felt completely lost. I couldn’t go on without hearing the truth from her mouth.
A pain constantly occupied my heart. It was something I never felt before. I used to think that I loved Tonya. If that was love, then this feeling for Julie was more than love. Julie was the jewel I searched for my whole life, and I know she felt the same.
There’s still a chance that she loves that guy, Eddie. But there was still a one percent chance she didn’t. I would take that chance any day.
When I tried to comprehend the emotions I felt for Julie, I knew it wasn't just attraction. It wasn't lust either, because I felt something divine in my heart when I thought about her, rather than my cock jumping in my trousers. I couldn't let her leave my life like that. If she said otherwise, I would convince her that she loved me, too.
"But where are you, Julie?" It was getting frustrating. When I woke up this morning, I changed my mind about listening to Eddie and rushed to her home. But she wasn't there, nor was he. I came here, searching for her in the fight club. But she wasn’t anywhere to be found.
Where can I find you, Julie? My mind won't come to peace unless I see you with my own eyes.
I was thinking of the worst possibilities. I needed to calm down, and I didn't know how.
The cancer care center. Yes, I would gain some clarity there. Talking with the patients had put my mind to ease in the past, so I took my bike and headed straight there.
***
I froze at the reception desk because I saw Julie sitting there, filing some papers. What was she doing there? Did she have a relative? But she mentioned nothing about it before. My heart reached out to her. I knew how painful it was when someone you love is in the cancer care center. My mom went through this process once, eventually succumbing to the disease. I didn’t want anyone to go through what I did, so I bought the care center and updated it with the best of amenities so patients would have a better shot of beating it.
"Julie. What are you doing here?" I asked, my heart somewhat broken to see her.
"Noah…you?" She looked startled to see me. She stood up, then she dropped all the papers she was filling out. She hugged me before bursting into tears.
I could feel my heart melting with every teardrop. I just wanted to take her pain away. I had to do it. I couldn't see her like that.
"Julie, please, tell me what's wrong." I rubbed her back, wrapping her in my arms tightly.
"My mom. She’s not well, Noah. And I'm so terrified." She was shivering, and I didn't know what to do. I held her tighter. That was the only thing I could do right now.
"I'm so sorry, Julie. Is she in here, this care center?" Do I know her already? I visited almost every patient here. I knew of a woman, with whom I talked daily with for almost a week now. "Is that Miss McCord?"
She pulled herself away and stared in my eyes. "How do you know?"
"I spent time with every patient here, and she’s a sweetheart. I just felt comfortable talking with her."
That brought a smile to her face for a moment. "Thanks for talking with her, Noah. I really appreciate that."
"Ma'am, please pay your fees, otherwise, we must ask that your mother be placed somewhere else.” The receptionist spoke up, breaking into our conversation. My anger spiked up. Who was asking for money from my sweetheart?
The receptionist gave me a shocked look when she recognized me. "Mr. Rich. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." She smiled my way, but I gave her a piercing look.
"Miss…Peacock," I read her name on the desk plate. "Please get me the managing director for the care center. I think we need to look at the payment policy.”
"Yes, Mr. Rich. I will call him right away."
"And mark paid on Miss McCord's receipt for me."
She nodded, leaving meekly. I needed to look hard at the way this hospital was running. I didn't feel comfortable with them asking for money from patients in grief.
"Noah, you don't have to do this for me." Julie raised her chin to look in my eyes.
"Please, Julie, don't resist here. First, I won’t charge you for your mother's treatment, because she is so sweet. And I bought this care center to help people, and I really don't find this helping." I knew the pain every patient's relative had. I wouldn’t let money add more stress on top of that.
"I insist I pay for my mother's treatment. It's my pride, Noah. Please don't oppose me.” She looked determined.
I wished I could change her opinion, but she spoke about her pride. And you don't hurt any one’s pride. But heck with it. I'm not taking the money.
"No, I'm not going to accept this, Julie. I can't take money from you. And what is the use of my billion dollars if I can't help someone I care about."
She smiled back and nodded.
"Let's go meet your mother." I wrapped my hand around her shoulder and walked with her. Her mother was in bed and looking out the window, paler than I saw her last time.
"Mom," Julie called softly. Her mother turned back with a smile on her face. I knew she was in pain, but still she smiled for her daughter. It was the same way my mother smiled at me when she was alive. And now my heart was breaking, because I knew her fate.
"How are you, Noah?" she smiled at me. "Julie, the guy I talked you about is this man. He came and spent some time with me every day for the past week, adding a little happiness to my day. Thanks a lot, son."
Julie looked at me with love and pride. I could sense my heart fill with happiness at her flattery.
"You should rest, Miss McCord. I'll come back in a minute." I wanted to ask our head of department if we had anything to prolong her life, because the last time I checked, she was on the verge of dying. I couldn’t let such a terrible thing happen to Julie’s mother if there was anything I could do to prevent it.
"Noah, where are you going?" Julie followed me.
"Going to meet her doctor and ask him how we can help her."
Julie grabbed my hand again. "I'm very thankful for everything. But I think I should let her go. I've been holding onto her for too long. It’s only getting worse for her. It's my decision." She began crying again.
"But I want to try..." I felt desperate. Julie’s mom was a woman with a good heart. She deserved to live.
"It's in the last stage, Noah. We can't really save her. I just want to let her go because she doesn't want to stay anymore. She had said this before, but I insisted she live.
“She has lived her whole life for me. My dad died when I was very small, so she worked hard to put me to the college. She always looked after me, and now she wants to end the pain, but still, I'm holding her back. If she wants to go, then we should let her go." She started crying even harder.
She was right, and I hated that she was right. I wished I could do something for her. "Let’s get a cup of coffee in the cafeteria. I have an apology to make," I said. I needed to tell her about Tonya. I didn't care if she loved that stranger or not. I just wanted her to know
the truth. Whether she chose to be with me or not, she deserved to know.
"Apology already accepted.” She hugged my arm when we walked to the cafeteria. That boosted my confidence.
We picked a table on the corner, and I bought the coffee for both of us.
"Julie, first let me say how much sorry I'm for being the jerk other night,” I began
"Um..." she stared at me for a moment. "Well, it bothered me, at first. But I guess you must have something bad from your past, right? I can't have control of your life." She sounded sad.
It wasn't like that. I wanted her to be part of my life, because I fucking loved her. "It was my past, Julie. That girl you saw in the picture was my fiancé a couple of years back. But then she cheated on me, and we broke up. I haven’t seen her since. I took two years to get rid of her memories, and when I saw you with that picture, I went nuts.”
I added, "But I can't make my past be the excuse for me being a jerk. I acted like an ass, and I will take any punishment you give me." I held her hand, though I didn't know if she was single or not. It felt so complicated.
She smiled. "I must say I'm relieved to know that it was your past and not your present."
"So here you are! Sitting with this jerk!" Someone screamed at us from across the cafeteria. Our eyes turned to see who it was. It was the same jerk I met at her house.
"Eddie, what are you doing here?" Julie's face turned dark. So apparently, she did know him.
Eddie started pulling at his hair. "Why are you doing this to me, Julie? I love you, babe, and you love me back!”
"I don't love you, Eddie. Not at all!" Julie screamed in anger, but her words sounded like sweet music to my ears. She didn't love that jerk. Wow. That was awesome.
"Do you love this bastard? Tell me, Julie. What's so special about him?" Eddie slammed his hands on the table.
From the corner of my eye, I could see security guards approaching us. But being selfish, I signaled them to stop . I was more interested in what he said next.
"Because he loves me back." Julie's words came crashing on me. So this girl loved me.
