by Marie Force
“God, I hope so,” she said out loud as she headed downstairs.
“You say something, hon?” Nolan called from the kitchen where he was making a late lunch after working all morning. He was putting in extra time at the garage so he could take a week off after the wedding. It would be the longest he’d ever been away from the garage. His faithful but unreliable sidekick, Skeeter, had assured him he’d keep the place running in Nolan’s absence. They were hoping for the best.
“I was talking to myself,” she said when she joined Nolan in the kitchen where he was eating a sandwich standing up. “Leftover habit from years of living alone.” He’d left the deli turkey on the counter and the sight of it turned her stomach.
Hannah hoped she wasn’t coming down with something so close to the big day. That would truly suck.
“You okay?” he asked, taking a closer look at her. “You’re kind of pale.”
“I’m just tired.”
“You’re sleeping a lot lately. How can you be tired?”
“I was just wondering that same thing. Too much on my mind, I suppose.”
“Are you going somewhere?”
“To meet Cameron to talk about the inn. We’ve got a lot to do before the grand opening over Labor Day. With the wedding and our week at the lake coming up, we’re getting short on time.”
Nolan finished the sandwich, wiped his mouth with a paper towel and came over to her, resting his hands on her shoulders. “May I make what might be an unpopular suggestion?”
“What’s that?”
“How about you push back your grand opening a little to give yourself a break from this pace you’re keeping? It’s enough to wear anyone out. I want you to enjoy our wedding, Hannah. Not have it be a box you check on your endless to-do list.”
Hannah gaped at him. “Did you honestly just say that?” She pulled back from him, appalled that he could think such a thing, let alone say it.
“Maybe I said that wrong.”
“Maybe?” She picked up her purse and keys and headed for the garage.
“Don’t leave mad, Hannah.”
“I’m not mad.” In truth, she was trying very hard not to cry, which was infuriating. Her emotions were all over the place lately—highs, lows and everything in between. She’d chalked that up to the naturally emotional process of getting remarried seven years after being widowed. But still, her reactions to everything seemed overly extreme, even to her.
Nolan followed her to the garage with their puppy, Homer Junior, scurrying along behind him. “Babe, wait. I’m sorry.” He reached for her arm to stop her. “Oh, damn. Are you crying?”
“No, I’m not crying.”
“Well, um . . .” He used his thumbs to clear the moisture from her cheeks. “You’re leaking, then.”
The comment made her laugh even as more tears spilled from her eyes.
Nolan gathered her into his embrace. “I’m sorry. That was a shitty thing to say.”
Hannah rested her head against his chest and put her arms around him. “It’s okay. I can see why you said it with the way I’ve been lately, running around like the proverbial chicken without a head.”
“Still . . . You didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry I said it.”
She looked up to offer him a smile. “Did we just have our first fight?”
“I think it was more a matter of me being an insensitive clod. I’m still new at this relationship business. You’ve got a lot of work to do to whip me into shape.”
“And I’m looking forward to every minute of it.” She went up on tiptoes to kiss him. “What’re you going to do while I’m gone?”
He scooped up the puppy, who’d been circling their feet. “Homie and I are going to cut your grass.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, we do.” Nolan kissed her nose and then her lips. “Go ahead and hurry back. You’re taking the rest of the day off when you get home to snuggle with me.”
“Snuggle, huh? With clothes or without?”
“The good kind. No clothes.”
“I’ll look forward to that.”
He kissed her again, lingering this time. “I love you, Hannah. I can’t wait to be married to you.”
“I can’t wait either. Fourteen days.”
“That many?” He held the car door for her and waved to her as she drove off. By the time she returned, he’d have the grass cut for her even though he had his own grass to cut. They were planning to move to his place once the inn opened to the public but weren’t rushing that with everything else they had going on. For now, he was all but living with her at the house she’d shared with Caleb.
It was time for a change, in more ways than one. The years she’d spent alone in the huge Victorian after Caleb died had healed her to the point where she was ready to move forward with Nolan. But she’d never forget the happiness she’d known in that house with Caleb and his dog, Homer Senior, who was now buried in the backyard.
The plan to use the house as a retreat for women who’d lost their husbands to war was coming together nicely, and the first weeks after the grand opening were already booked thanks to Cameron’s marketing forte. In record time, she’d launched a website, a Facebook page and a mailing list, things that would’ve taken Hannah months to accomplish on her own. And Cameron had done all that while moving to Vermont to live with Will and while building a complex website for the Abbott family store.
To say Hannah admired her new friend greatly was putting it mildly. She’d quickly become one of Hannah’s favorite people, and she looked forward to the day when Cameron would officially become an Abbott.
Hannah got to the diner about fifteen minutes before Cameron was due to arrive and since the place was all but empty, Hannah had her choice of tables. She slid into a booth facing the door so she could watch for Cam. Knowing Cameron’s issues with Megan, Hannah had suggested they meet at the coffee shop instead. But Cameron had said she refused to hide from anyone, least of all Megan.
“Hi, Hannah,” Megan said. “What can I get you?”
“Coffee would be great and an ice water, please.” Hannah studied the woman who’d captured the attention of her brother Hunter and tried to look beyond the crankiness to see what might’ve attracted him to her.
Megan had long blonde hair, delicate features and high cheekbones. While her personality could be formidable at times, now that Hannah looked closer, she decided there was something distinctly fragile about her. She wondered if Hunter had noticed that, too.
Hannah was almost ashamed to realize that she’d seen Megan several times per week for years but didn’t know much more about her other than she was the sister of Nina, who owned the diner with her husband, Brett. She also knew that Megan and Nina had lost their parents in a car accident quite some time ago.
Megan returned to the table with a mug of coffee, a glass of ice water and a small pitcher of cream.
“Can you sit for a second?” Hannah asked her, surprising herself almost as much as she seemed to surprise Megan. She told herself she was doing this for Hunter.
“Oh, um, I’m working.”
“Can you take a break? Just for a minute.”
“Ah.” She looked over her shoulder to her sister, who was busy doing paperwork at the counter. “I guess. Sure.”
Hannah stirred cream into her coffee and added a dash of sugar. She’d pay for the late-day caffeine later when she was staring at the ceiling wide awake in the middle of the night. “I was thinking we don’t know each other all that well, despite living in the same town for so many years.”
“Oh. I thought you were going to chew me out for being a jerk to your friend like your brother did.”
“So you admit you’ve been a jerk?”
“Sort of.” Megan flipped a pen back and forth between her fingers. “Yeah, I have. I know it’s not her fault that he chose her.”
“Maybe you ought to tell her that, huh?”
Megan nodded. “Maybe. I heard you’r
e getting married. Congratulations. Nolan is a really nice guy.”
“Yes, he is, and thank you.”
“I was, um, sorry about your husband. He was a nice guy, too.”
“Yes, he was. I appreciate your kind thoughts of him.”
“I ought to get back to work. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“I will. Thanks.”
As she got up, Cameron came rushing through the door and stopped short at the sight of Megan talking with Hannah.
Megan hesitated. “I’m sorry,” she said to Cameron. “For being a jerk. It’s not your fault. And it’s not his. It’s mine.”
“Apology accepted. Thank you.”
“Can I get you something?”
“I’d love a tuna on wheat toast and a Diet Coke, please.”
“Coming right up.”
Wearing a gobsmacked expression, Cameron slid into the booth across from Hannah. “What just happened?”
“I heard Will chewed her out the other day.”
“Yeah. He said enough was enough, and apparently told her so. She cried a little.”
“She was just really sweet congratulating me about the wedding and saying what a nice guy Nolan is and Caleb was.”
“There may be hope for her yet.”
“I’ve known her for such a long time, but I barely know her at all, really. I thought I should make an effort for Hunter’s sake.”
“You think anything will come of that?” Cameron asked.
“Hard to say. He has to know he faces an uphill battle in light of her affection for Will, but you never know what’ll happen.”
“Anyway . . . How are you?”
“All right. I think Nolan and I just had our first fight.”
“Really? What happened?”
Hannah relayed the story, including his heartfelt apology. “I suppose no man is ever perfect, even one who’s perfect for me.”
“That’s true. So listen to this . . . Colton is in New York nursing Lucy through a vicious bout of food poisoning.”
“Oh my gosh! Poor Lucy!”
“I know, right? From what I heard, bad sushi took down the whole office and one of our best clients. I got out of there in the nick of time.”
The words bad sushi made Hannah’s stomach turn.
Megan returned with Cameron’s drink and sandwich.
“Thank you,” Cameron said.
While she ate, they talked about the changes Hannah wanted to make to the inn’s website while Cameron took notes and asked questions that led to more changes.
The scent of the tuna coupled with the overly warm temperature in the diner made Hannah feel nauseated, which was odd because she loved tuna and ordered it all the time. “Is it hot in here, or is it me?”
“I’m not hot, but you’re kind of pasty around the gills, girl.”
“I think it’s you and your tuna.”
“Oh sorry! I thought you loved tuna.”
“I do. Just not today.”
“I’ll get it to go.”
“No! Finish it. I’m fine. I’m just hot. And tired all of a sudden. Really, really tired.”
“Are you sick? Because you aren’t allowed to get sick for the next three weeks.”
“I’m not sick. I just feel weird today. I think it’s the heat.”
“I know this counts as hot to you guys up here in Vermont, but to a city girl like me, unless you can fry an egg on the sidewalk, it’s not really hot.”
“The thought of eggs fried on a New York sidewalk doesn’t do much for my stomach.”
“Sorry.”
“So did Lucy say anything about how it’s going with Colton?”
“She thinks she’s in love.”
“Really? That’s amazing! Is she going to move here, too?”
“I don’t think so. She’s really tight with her dad, sister and niece. And then there’s the business . . . I walked away. It’s not like she can, too. I feel kind of guilty about that.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty. I doubt she’d want that.”
“Still . . . What do you think they’ll do?”
“I don’t know. I can’t imagine him anywhere but on his mountain.”
“Having just lived through it myself, I don’t envy them the decisions they’ll have to make at some point.”
“Why does it have to be so hard for two people who obviously love each other and totally deserve to be happy?”
“Because if it wasn’t hard it wouldn’t be worth the payoff.”
“That’s very well stated and certainly true.”
“Are you okay, Hannah?”
Damn her unpredictable emotions these days. Her throat tightened around a lump that had her waving a hand to buy a minute to collect herself. “It’s all very bittersweet,” she finally managed to say, so softly it was nearly a whisper.
“Oh, honey, I can only imagine.”
“I love Nolan so much. I never thought I’d feel this way again.”
“But you’re thinking a lot about Caleb, too. Right?”
Hannah pressed her lips together tightly and nodded. “He’s very present in all of this.”
Cameron dabbed at her eyes. “Of course he is. You both loved him.”
“Sometimes I worry I’m not being fair to Nolan by thinking so much about Caleb.”
“From all I’ve heard, Nolan is better able to understand what you’ve endured than any other man ever could.”
“You’re right. He’s amazing and understanding and everything I could’ve hoped for.”
Cameron reached across the table for Hannah’s hand. “Be kind to yourself, Hannah. Any thoughts or feelings you have right now are yours, and you’re entitled to each and every of them. No one is judging you, least of all Nolan. He’s crazy in love with you.”
“Yes,” Hannah said, smiling through the tears that continued to come despite how much she wished she could talk about this without them. “He is.”
“You should go home and let him give you some TLC.”
“That actually sounds rather divine. I think I’ll do just that.”
Cameron grabbed the check. “I’ve got this one.”
“Thank you for that and everything else.” Hannah hugged her. “You’ve been the most incredible friend.”
“Same to you. You’ve made me feel so welcome in my new home, and I’ll always love you for that.”
“Stop.” Hannah wiped away new tears. “I’m already a hot mess.”
They laughed and hugged like two longtime girlfriends.
“I’m here if you need me in the next two weeks,” Cameron said. “Anything you need. Any time you need it.”
“Thanks, Cam. I’m so glad my brother decided to keep you.”
“So am I. I get him and all of the rest of you, too. What a lovely thing that is.”
They walked out of the diner arm in arm, laughing and talking, and parted with another hug.
Hannah drove home feeling relieved that she’d unburdened herself to Cameron, who was such a kind and understanding friend. But while she felt better to have gotten a few things off her chest, she was still feeling queasy, overheated and tired. The exhaustion was pervasive, so pervasive in fact that she wondered whether she might need to see a doctor. Maybe she was anemic, and wouldn’t that be magical with everything she had coming up in the next few weeks.
She arrived home to a freshly cut lawn but no sign of Nolan’s truck in the driveway. He’d probably left to run an errand or to pick up something from his own house where he spent very little time these days.
With some time to herself, Hannah scooped up Homer and went directly to the sofa in her cozy sitting room to lie down, grateful for the house that was hard to keep warm in the winter but cool and comfortable in the unforgiving heat of summer. That was her last conscious thought until Nolan kissed her awake to a room that had grown considerably darker.
“Hey there.” He held the puppy in his arms as he gazed down at her. “You were out cold.”
Her eyes felt too heavy to keep open. “Mmm, what time is it?”
“Almost six.”
She’d been asleep for close to three hours? How was that possible?
“Is everything okay?”
She reached for the puppy, who struggled to break free of Nolan so he could get to her. “Uh-huh.”
“Hannah?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m worried about you. I kept thinking you’d wake up, but you’ve been asleep for hours. It’s not like you to sleep like that in the middle of the day. Would you tell me if something was wrong?”
She nodded. “I would, but I don’t know what’s wrong. I feel sick and tired, and Cam’s tuna sandwich nearly made me barf, and I cry over everything.” She was crying again now and swept angrily at the tears. “It’s ridiculous! I’m getting married, not staring down a firing squad.”
Laughing softly, he reached for her and helped her sit up. Somehow he managed to smoothly arrange things so she was on his lap, cuddled up to him with Homer cuddled up to her. Nolan smelled of freshly cut grass and cologne that made her want to nuzzle closer. “I suspect there might be something else entirely going on here, my love.”
“And that is?”
“Is it possible you might be pregnant?”
“What? No. I’m not pregnant.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. If I were pregnant, I’d know it. Wouldn’t I?”
“Having never been pregnant myself, I couldn’t say for certain. It just seems that you’re sort of all over the place and tired and hungry—that is, when you aren’t nauseated. I’m certainly no expert on such things, but the thought occurred to me, and . . . Oh God, Hannah, why are you crying again?”
“Because! That’s it! That’s what’s wrong with me, and I didn’t even know it. And what kind of mother will I be if I didn’t even know I was pregnant?”
His body shook under her, and for a moment she thought he was crying, too. Then she realized he was laughing.
“You’re laughing at me? Seriously?”
“Hannah, I love you so much. So goddamned much.” His eyes were bright and full of emotion and tears that probably weren’t entirely due to the laughter. “You have no idea how adorable you are right now. And if you are pregnant, which we’ll confirm one way or the other first thing in the morning, the child we made together will be the luckiest kid in the universe to have you and your great big generous heart as his or her mother.”
